Depends on how badly you want the "US life" .
I know people who will keep doing one MS after the other through some light online/weekend courses (to extend their OPT, till their H1B gets picked, so they usually keep some credits pending as long as possible) , because they want to stay in the US, no matter what.
I am NOT criticizing them, because they know what they want.
The visa uncertainty does rob some peace of mind. The indecision over whether to settle in US or go back after "X" number of years robs the rest.
The visa issues arent in one's hands, but I have found that the most relaxed people are those who know for sure IF they want to settle in US or NOT and if they want to back home - in HOW MANY years and after saving how much of money as cash savings and property investment. I know couples who came to US after getting married, had kids after five years, and went back to India after another five years (though their visa status and job was stable). All of them saved, bought their own apartment in the center of expensive Indian cities and were clear about going back by the time the kids started school.
The US life in bigger cities is different from smaller towns. If you are social, but want the desi-social experience, you will get that easily in Cali or Texas... but if your job takes you to the mid-west, it is a very different life - difficult to adapt if you are someone looking for another "mini-India" in the US. Another way of looking at it is you would actually experience the feeling of being in another country, might like the quiet life, will be motivated to interact with people of different ethnicities instead of just sticking to just desis at work. The saving potential is also better and you have better chances of getting into a workplace that is not overridden by desi consultancies and shitty politics by Indian managers (at least not yet).
If you want to be at the center of latest innovation and trends at work, and are damn good at what you do - go for Cali, Seattle etc.
If you want to save more, are decent at your work and don't want a repeat of the desi office atmosphere with onsite/offshore politics, then , if you are somehow lucky to get an offer in a smaller town (well, really lucky, in today's climate with so many ppl not taking H1Bs) , I would say, grab it with both hands.
Regarding children, and fears over them losing touch with their roots, it honestly depends on the way you "condition" them from the beginning. I have nieces and nephews who are more aware of rituals in festivals, visit and volunteer in temple events more fervently than I do. This is especially true of the kids of the couples who came in the late 90s and early 2000s and formed large and strong community of desi friends. Their kids know more about mythology and bhajans and can probably read and write in more Indian languages than my nieces and nephews in India. They are also more particular about avoiding meat because well, thats how they were raised. After a point, their parents don't have to "force" them. But yes, there is a definitely an underlying sense of competitiveness in some parents wrt, their kids excelling in everything - academics, going into advanced math courses, playing an instrument, being trained in dance etc.
But OTOH, I also have couple of nieces and nephews whose parents havent bothered with any of that - no temple involvement, no bharatanatyam classes, no growing up within large desi communities, nothing.. So, they are a bit unaware and detached from desi stuff. The parents don't mind. The kids are nice, respectful, focused at school, and the parents are more than happy with it.
Edited by lunza - 5 years ago
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