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Behir FF - Starting Over Again Ch 5 upd (Page 2)

sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by The.Wanderer

Sarah it's too good. Working on something right now. So I will give a proper review tomorrow. But at first glance? It made me smile, it made me laugh, it made me cry!!! 

More to come in a few hours. 

So I am BACK!! And so are you. With a BRAND new story. 

First things THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING. I LOVED IT. 

Okay now onto the review. 

Mahir's state of mind was aptly described in the first few paragraphs. His struggle to manage the kids, himself in the absence of his wife was touching. His excitement to finally meet his wife was almost palpable. 

The scene with the kids was so beautiful. Mahir and Bella pretending to be asleep and then catching hold of Meera was just so cute. And Dhruv!! How cute and adorable he is!! You gave us Meera and Dhruv!! I love you for that. Hug


OMG!! Bella is such a cool mom, Let's go make a mess!! Cry I wish someone said that to me. 


One point. Central heating is not common in Mumbai and neither is it required. The lowest temperatures here is 16 in worst cases. And that rarely happens. Spring is a non existent concept here. It goes from chilled to hot in matter of days, There is so such thing as transition. Like till a couple of days ago we were sleeping without fans and last night was hot enough to sleep without a blanket with fan on. So that is something that doesn't go with the city. 

The family bonding scenes, Mahir helping Bella with the kids, his bonding with Meera and Dhruv was just adorable. I could imagine the family, Mahir helping his daughter while Bella waited with their son. That scene set the right tone for the next events. You established really well the way they both were dependent on each other for the morning chores. How it was teamwork that made the family function properly. These cheerful scenes were actually quite painful to read because this routine got disrupted. I could imagine the pain he must have gone through when he woke up one morning and Bella was in hospital, unconscious and he had to take care of himself and  the kids. 


The pain that he went through afterwards, the agony was so perfectly described that I cried while reading it. Especially the part where he told her that he couldn't do it alone. Family is team work. No one should have to do it alone and here was Mahir all alone with two babies demanding what he could not give them. Him bringing Meera to the hospital was so painful. 


And then the last line

Do I know you?


Was so so so painful... 


I know everything will get sorted out. Even if she doesn't regain her memories, she will make new ones with them but I can't imagine what the kids will go through when their mother doesn't recognize them. I can't imagine what Bella will go through. 


This is a great beginning. Keep it up!! Thumbs Up
 
Ash baba thanku for your sweet words!! Hug 

After the flashback scene about behir's kids meera and dhruv in n3.. I wanted to make a story about them.. Then i saw  Vow  again for a couple of days ago.. And I began to imagine behir in that story... 

So thats how i came with this idea of behir and their kids.. LOLLOL  Btw i also got inspired by mahirs ML TRACK.. ROFL

I am so happy that you could feel mahir's emotions.. And how hard he is trying to make everything work.. 

ash thankuu for telling me how it is in mumbai regarding weather.. I dont know anything about it.. So thank you my mumbaiyah girl.. I might need your help for more details about mumbai.. LOL what a bummer i made regarding spring..!! ROFL

aww I made you cry!! awww ash aajaa jhappi Hug

It will not be a cry story for sure.. Lots of happines are also in the store.. Wink

Thankkuuu for your amazing review..!!  Clap


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fortitudeothThe.Wanderer

sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:06am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tashi96

This was so beautiful written!
Loved the entire family scene in between
Can't wait to read more!
 
Thank you Tashi.. Glad that you liked it,, Wink

Next chapter coming soon.. 
sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by fortitudeoth

Hi buddy Hug

You are back with another story. It's time to celebrate that Party.

But also you wrote a new story and you didn't even tell me Angry. Imagine the balcony GIF here!

This is amazing! I knew you could come up with another story. You are a great writer Clap

This chapter had so many emotions. I don't even know what to say. You have left me speechless.

I don't know where to start. But I will mention some of the highlights.

Behir have children and they're named Meera and Dhruv Cry.

Behir are suffering already and it's only the first chapter Sleepy. Their beautiful daily routine has been interrupted Broken Heart.

Oh Mahir! He's in so much pain. The children are so young. How will they feel when they realize their mother doesn't remember them?

I felt every emotion that you wanted to show and all the details work perfectly with this.

This time you have set the story in Mumbai. I will miss your descriptions of Italy and your Italian!

Thank you for writing another story. Make this story longer than the last one. Oh and I have commented quickly on your story this time. Update SOON LOL
 
CLAIREEE MY BUDDY Hug 
Areeeyy I told you on instaaa.. you just saw it now.. How can i forget you.. Never.. 

Yess they needed to suffer to get some beautiful moments.. But dont worry happy moments will also come.. Wink  Ohh yaa.. Mumbai a city i know nothing about.. LOL I will take some help from ash and varshu... Wink

This time the story will be longer.. And more then 10 chapters for sure.. Wink 

And next chapter coming soon.. 

Thanku for your sweet review.. Claire... Hug

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fortitudeoth

sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Stardust91

Sarah this is amazing...i could see Mahir in the scene where he said he couldn't do it alone and Bella needed to come back
 
It's beautiful.
 
Thank you Siya..  Tongue 
Glad that you liked it.. Wink
sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Varsha001

Finally a new ff to readWink
Its too good to readClap...all types of emotions-happySmile ,sadCry...cant wit to read the next chapter
 
Thanku varshuuu Hug 

Next chapter coming soon... Thora sa intezaar.. LOL

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Varsha001

sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nuomi.riceball

Great story. Great start. Inspired by the vow and 50 first dates. Does it mean that Bella might never recover her memories? Please continue soon.
 
Thank you Nuomi ji.. Wink 

Hm... i will not give you any spoiler LOL... But the story will be a bit different for sure.. LOL 

Glad that you liked it. 
sarahgul Goldie
sarahgul
sarahgul

Joined: 21 May 2013
Posts: 1835

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Monali5

Loved it. The Vow is my favorite movie! 
 
Thanku Monali... 

Yes my fav too.. Wink 

Glad that you liked it. 


Edited by sarahgul - 05 February 2019 at 7:15am
Mahi114 Senior Member
Mahi114
Mahi114

Joined: 01 June 2016
Posts: 535

Posted: 05 February 2019 at 8:48am | IP Logged
Loved it
Continue soon plz

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