Posted: 05 February 2019 at 7:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by The.Wanderer
Sarah it's too good. Working on something right now. So I will give a proper review tomorrow. But at first glance? It made me smile, it made me laugh, it made me cry!!!
More to come in a few hours.
So I am BACK!! And so are you. With a BRAND new story.
First things THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING. I LOVED IT.
Okay now onto the review.
Mahir's state of mind was aptly described in the first few paragraphs. His struggle to manage the kids, himself in the absence of his wife was touching. His excitement to finally meet his wife was almost palpable.
The scene with the kids was so beautiful. Mahir and Bella pretending to be asleep and then catching hold of Meera was just so cute. And Dhruv!! How cute and adorable he is!! You gave us Meera and Dhruv!! I love you for that.
OMG!! Bella is such a cool mom, Let's go make a mess!!
I wish someone said that to me.
One point. Central heating is not common in Mumbai and neither is it required. The lowest temperatures here is 16 in worst cases. And that rarely happens. Spring is a non existent concept here. It goes from chilled to hot in matter of days, There is so such thing as transition. Like till a couple of days ago we were sleeping without fans and last night was hot enough to sleep without a blanket with fan on. So that is something that doesn't go with the city.
The family bonding scenes, Mahir helping Bella with the kids, his bonding with Meera and Dhruv was just adorable. I could imagine the family, Mahir helping his daughter while Bella waited with their son. That scene set the right tone for the next events. You established really well the way they both were dependent on each other for the morning chores. How it was teamwork that made the family function properly. These cheerful scenes were actually quite painful to read because this routine got disrupted. I could imagine the pain he must have gone through when he woke up one morning and Bella was in hospital, unconscious and he had to take care of himself and the kids.
The pain that he went through afterwards, the agony was so perfectly described that I cried while reading it. Especially the part where he told her that he couldn't do it alone. Family is team work. No one should have to do it alone and here was Mahir all alone with two babies demanding what he could not give them. Him bringing Meera to the hospital was so painful.
And then the last line
Do I know you?
Was so so so painful...
I know everything will get sorted out. Even if she doesn't regain her memories, she will make new ones with them but I can't imagine what the kids will go through when their mother doesn't recognize them. I can't imagine what Bella will go through.
This is a great beginning. Keep it up!!
Ash baba thanku for your sweet words!!
After the flashback scene about behir's kids meera and dhruv in n3.. I wanted to make a story about them.. Then i saw Vow again for a couple of days ago.. And I began to imagine behir in that story...
So thats how i came with this idea of behir and their kids..
Btw i also got inspired by mahirs ML TRACK..
I am so happy that you could feel mahir's emotions.. And how hard he is trying to make everything work..
ash thankuu for telling me how it is in mumbai regarding weather.. I dont know anything about it.. So thank you my mumbaiyah girl.. I might need your help for more details about mumbai..
what a bummer i made regarding spring..!!
aww I made you cry!! awww ash aajaa jhappi
It will not be a cry story for sure.. Lots of happines are also in the store..
Thankkuuu for your amazing review..!!