| SS : For The Sake Of Love | {IF_NC_Entry} C1 P3 - Page 3

I slowly opened the door and found him standing in close proximity. He seemed half worried and half confused.

He pressingly peeped into my eyes. 

"Were you crying?", he asked.

"Um no. Just some extra mascara in the waterline", I terribly tried to cover up.

"And what of some extra red tomatoes on the nose?", he asked again, making it all the more difficult to brush it off so casually.

"I guess it's the ice cream", I said, snuffling a bit, not wanting to give up.

"And I guess its him", he said quite flatly.

I gulped a bubble down my throat. I looked everywhere but him. The perks of having someone know you inside out.

"Who him?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Fine, you win alright", he grunted and walked off.

"Wait, first tell me, where the hell were you all this while?", I jogged closely behind him.

Getting no response, I continued : "I had to play this stupid game of truth dare and...", I stopped.

"...And you ended up putting mascara into your waterline. Very cool", he laughed away.

"You don't want to tell where you were all this while, do you?", I gave it back, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Whoaa! You're getting possessive now", he retorted, amused.

"The fact is, you've ..."

"The fact is, you can't forget him", he said, hitting the final nail into the coffin.

I was effectively rendered speechless. He was right. He always was right about me, something I could never get the hold of.

He put his hand in the pocket and smiled. I could see his pocket hold something but before I could dive into that matter, I said -

"You're wrong, I've forgotten him", I said finally, lying with conviction, with my eyes lowered

He kept staring at me, trying to catch up with my eyes.

He came forward and slowly lifted up my face.

"Don't let anybody use you ever again", he whispered closely in my ears, stirring my heart. He tucked a loose strand behind my ear, and I could feel it all over my skin, which was whooshing with feelings.

I nodded sincerely and we kept the lock till quite sometime.

Just seeing in his eyes - Vedant's eyes was enough for me to feel better. His mere presence made me believe it'll all be right one day. 

It'd been an year and a half since we had met. He helped me cope up with my tattered personal life, helped me get hold over myself. There were days I would talk normally, while on others, I wouldn't speak at all. Erratic mood swings, wild wishes and uncanny behavior, he had seen it all. He'd been so patient, I wonder if I would've been so forgiving too, had I been in his place.

"After you", he extended his hand, still while maintaining his ever so observant gaze. Not to forget, I simply can't get over his gentlemanly ways.

We drove right up to our house, not before stopping for coffee by the street. It was our small daily ritual of having a late night coffee together, before we parted ways for the day a few little things I manage to keep up with, no matter what the situation be.

...

Ideally, it was yet another day but I could feel considerably different about it. Nothing eventful had happened I came to office, greeted Vedant. He smiled back at me, handed over the day's drafts. And I started working on them. And then, it hit me.

Firing letters something that I dreaded like nothing other. 

Out of the 6 months of this HR job, I had clearly navigated away from handling them but today, the draft was inevitable. I had run out of excuses and Vedant seemed hell bent on making these changes in my life.

He came to have a look at my worry stricken face.

"Uhm, just like you can't forget he who should not be named, you can't possibly draft a firing letter", he teased.

"I can do BOTH", I said adamantly.

He stuck out a questionable thumbs up while shrugging his shoulders, had a small giggle of his and left. He pushed me around to new limits each day. And perhaps that's how I was at a decent position in these 6 months.

Mad at my self, I blurted it out on the screen :

Your services are no longer needed. 

I breathed out and pushed my back against the chair. 

He had gone long back but his traces were still very much alive, in my system, in my thoughts and in my heart.

I quickly erased the draft and started typing it all over again. And this time, it felt nice.

It was lunchtime and with my first ever firing draft approved, I felt great. Vedant joined me for lunch.

The funny feeling hadn't entirely left me. I felt jitters in my stomach for no apparent reason.

The surprises weren't over yet it seemed.

He ordered wine for lunch, something he had never done before. 

"Ms Vaani has drafted her first firing letter and this calls for celebration!", he announced to my amusement.

I picked up the glass and as I took the first sip, something inside it jingled. 

I put my hand in, only to find a solitaire. I was truly taken aback. I had a close look at it.

"Oops, looks like I dropped my ring", he said.

"Trying to be funny, are you? This is a girly ring. And you certainly aren't the first man to wear a finely cut solitaire", I laughed imagining the possible sight.

His face was a question mark all over. His brow rose, hinting at the obvious question. Not that I hadn't noticed that things were coming back at me, life was turning a full circle, but it was getting difficult to push myself into commitment all over again.

There was a time when I had waited for this moment to arrive and there was this - that was left moaning this ever happened.

But no, not in my senses, I couldn't refuse this man, the man who had collected all my falling pieces of life and stitched them back so neatly. I felt stuck. Afraid. Blank.

"Hey, don't stress yourself. Take your time", he smiled his million watt smile. His patience was truly commendable.

Lunch was quiet that day. We both avoided talk, eyesight and touch.

...

A week had passed and I was still as clueless as I was, in that moment. Every night i had thought of him, of us and beyond. I loved the idea but i hated the commitment. I realised I was very afraid of the whole thing, not wanting to face it. He never questioned me on it ever again. Not even once did he hint about it, in the lunches or while having coffee on the streets.

The office staff was to go for a beach party tonight. I wasn't interested much in the idea of partying. Plus, the hangover of the New Year one was still hovering over me.

I politely refused Vedant and he didn't nugde me further, much to my bewilderment.

The day was smooth but obviously, our warmth was missing. Everyone left early and so did I.

The coffee ritual didn't happen that day and I directly drove back to my home.

It was small but I loved it. It was my burrow, my home and my place to be myself in. Pastel walls, some fine pieces of art on the shelves and a cosy bedroom. 

I switched on the TV and fell back into the couch. 

Into the breaking news was :

Due to unexpected high tide, the beach has been suddenly shut down. 10 people are nearly drowned and 1 is missing.

My heart sank completely. To be honest, my own reaction seemed so incomprehensible. I felt my world go dizzy. My heart thumped itself against the walls of skin, it was a whirlwind.

I wildly got up and ran. My hands were shaking and stomach was getting twisted into knots.

What if, what if, what if he was the one?

I couldn't breathe until I leapt off the cab. 

In a daze, I half ran, half scrambled upto the beach from the cab stand. 

There were too many people to scan through. There was Police, the  guards and neon lights flashing all over, blinding me. General public was restricted to enter the beach. Somewhere, an ambulance siren was generating disturbing sounds, adding on to my thumping headache. 

I tried to calm down and talk to a guard, about the party that was on but in vain. They just wouldn't listen.

I tried to push my way in but couldn't, there was fencing and so many safety cones put up by then. In a corner, I sat down. Tired, defeated and unable to think and crying. I clutched my head and thought of all the despair that could come my way. I closed my eyes.

Shit, I should've been here! Shouldn't have refused. Shouldn't be so wary of parties I thought.

After about a minute, a heard a voice.

"Vaani?"

I looked up. It was Aryan.

I stood up immediately.

"Where is... Everyone from office?

"Well we all are safe. And if you're talking of..."

"Where is Vedant?"

"He is right there, as usual, looking out for everyone in need. Sigh what a ..."

I didn't bother to listen another word from him. Pushing him aside, I ran towards the direction he pointed out. There he stood, facing his back to me, holding a little girl.

I pulled him around fiercely and gripped him tight into my arms. I wouldn't let him go away, not in this life.

I could feel his arms around me too; he did say something which I couldn't register. The relief had concealed every sense of mine. I tightly clutched his white t-shirt. 

I looked up at him after a while, when he broke the hug.

His brown eyes were ever so calm and glistening. I caressed his hair. I instantly felt a wave of calmness sweep over me. In that moment i realized what he meant to me. I couldn't even think of life without him now. Without wasting any other second, I simply said it aloud :

"I love you!"

The confusion, dilemma, fear - stood all clear as crystal, in the darkness of losing him forever.

Nothing mattered to me anymore, more than the fact that he was alright, in front of my eyes.

"I love you too. Always did and will always do, he said lovingly with the usual genuineness of his voice."

"You will never go to any beach party henceforth", I declared.

"And I was thinking of having a beach wedding", he chuckled, taking me into his arms again.

I playfully punched his chest.

"Shut up okay", I laughed and cried.

Later, as he slid the ring into my finger, I could very well foresee our happily ever after. I rose above apprehensions, fear, insecurities and phobia of committing again. Life felt fresh, new, elegant and better than I'd ever felt. I realized that we always got second chances, what mattered what embracing it with open arms.

And finally, as I felt that the past chapter of my life drew to a peaceful close, I couldn't imagine anything that could possibly go wrong now.

And I wish it never did.

With winter swiftly slipping away, that afternoon had just the right warmth to it, making it lazy. I was at my table, my mind wasn't. It was loitering around my new, small but special moments with Vedant when my phone vibrated. I immediately picked up, without checking the caller's name.

"Hello?" A voice rang in my ears, startling me fiercely and my heart at unrest had every word I could have spoken chained back.

"Hello? Vaani?" He went again and it felt like another mighty blow to my feelings already lying in ruins.

"Who's this? Wrong number" It took me a few moments to scrounge through my soul and collect adequate amount of strength and a safe scheme to tackle it.

"Come on, Vaani! I know you can recognize my voice anywhere!" He asserted blatantly and there went all my courage.

I almost shook in frustration and helplessness, with my stomach twisting from within.

I got up, feeling dizzy. I felt ill and uncomfortable. Somehow, I found myself walking towards the water dispenser with uncertain steps. I could feel and hear my breath out. All of it came rushing back to me in one go. It became hard to breathe.

With every drop of water moving down my throat, I could see every moment of ours play out in front of my eyes. My heart felt heavy. I sat down in front of the restroom, not knowing what do. At times I felt my life just flew back to the point he left me. Nothing else that happened thereafter mattered anymore. In the next moment, the evident disappointment and pain flooded my mind, beseeching my heart to not think about him anymore. But the fact remained it was HIM.

I walked back to my table, yet not recovered from the uneventful phone call.

I fell into my chair gracelessly, going just numb. I picked up my phone, only to make the horrifying discovery that his contact name still read 'Love'! It just seemed to be so snide and mocking me so I put it down with escalated force. Reflecting upon it aggravated my agony and annoyance so I tried to concentrate on work and failed at that too. I just couldn't get him off my mind and it was exhausting altogether. I needed to talk to someone and distract myself.

The day drew to a closure. I trudged aimlessly through the lobby and walked straight, unsure of my destination. My phone rang again,

"Hey sweetheart, where are you?", Vedant's voice resounded from the cell phone.

"In the...", I looked around, to understand my surrounding. "In the parking lot"

"What are you doing there? I already have my car out".

"Oh yeah, I'll be there", I responded. And I also resolved to not reveal anything of this to Vedant, lest he should feel awkward.

I sat in the car. It was a rather silent drive. Not much was exchanged, except for a few queries being resolved, on which I'd to work hard in order to hide it' from him.

The nightfall arrived just the way it did everyday. But today was certainly gloomier. I sat at my study table and tossed around the paperweight, thinking about him. Why did he had to make his presence be felt all over again? Why did I had to face him yet another time? I felt so vulnerable. A part of me refused to let the past overshadow the present. Maybe I didn't had it in me to face him. I just wanted him to disappear. Wanted the pain to erase itself from the pages of past. But a significant part of me also wanted answers. Answers to the questions that haunted me and troubled me every night. Those which made me feel like disowning my own life. Questions and feelings that were omnipresent in my new paradise.

Still miffed with destiny, I now rolled over to the bed, counting 1,2,3 to calm myself. The phone rang again.

Recklessly, I picked it up, expecting it to be Vedant, calling to pick me up for a coffee outing.

But it was him, again.

"Vaani, just listen to me once before you disconnect", he pleaded. The feelings that were bottled up now let loose, in the form of overwhelming tears.

"Mayur...", I cried and pleaded back. His name sounded so different. It'd been 2 years since I'd uttered the word. "Please disconnect the phone. For me"

"I'm sorry but I can't do that, I really can't. I need to tell you about what happened, everything, why I had to leave you on our wedding day. I know you want answers. Please?" he sighed heavily and trudging around the memories of that baneful evening didn't leave me enough room to counter his request.

"We ought to talk. Meet me at Harold's Hangout tomorrow night. I'll be waiting!" he declared calmly before hanging up.

It was so easy for him, wasn't it? He always had a way to have things his own way.

I wiped the tears, only to cry heavily. I stuffed my face into the pillow to quieten the sobs.

"Shut up, don't cry", I begged to myself. I promised myself it'll all be okay. I could ignore this for the sake of my happiness and still lead a blissful life. But till how long?

 I knew that running away wasn't an option and I had to accept it, no matter what.

...