Joined: 24 August 2013
Joined: 24 August 2013
Joined: 14 November 2017
Joined: 14 November 2017
1 week earlier
How did this happen to me?
I had been fed stories of prince charming as a child by father, he had promised me one day a handsome prince would come and carry me away to our happily ever after. I thought these very stories had died with me the day I had left my family and became Tina, but you changed that.
Every wall I raised you broke. You torpedo-ed into my life showing me right from wrong. Helping me find my mother if I had not met you would I even have met her?
You changed my life. You were my prince charming. The first man I ever looked at in that way. My best friend, my world, my everything. Unlike the others who lied to me and hurt me constantly you were different when I fell you picked me up. You wanted to protect me the girl who had so many walls up in order to protect herself, you wanted to protect me.
But it was all a lie wasn't it.
A lie I let myself embrace.
You were not prince charming.
You were someone else, someone much darker, someone much more sinister. Perhaps I had always known maybe that's why I took as long as I did to trust you. And even now I still am unsure about who you are?
You were sweet, kind, attentive and you loved me. But there were times, I felt you when you were with my family you wished you could be anywhere but here, but you always masked it and I thought I had imagined it. Just like I thought I had imagined, seeing the anger in your eyes at the waiter.
You hurt someone. You physically hurt someone. For a mistake...
Who are you? Are you the prince my father always told me would one day come into my life and whisk me away, or are you someone more sinister?
My thoughts about you plague me.
"Naira why have you not eaten anything? Mama said, as I sat in my room on the floor with my back against the wall. My appetite had left me ever since I had seen you like that. I never seen you so angry before like that...
"I am not hungry I say softly, Mama sits down next to me.
"What's wrong Naira? Mama ask's me, I say nothing as my eyes water. She looks at all the paper frogs I had made absent-mindedly.
"Did you have a fight with Kartik? She asked me, I remained silent as she picked up one of the paper frogs. "You tend to make these the most then...
I leaned against her with my head on her shoulder and a tear ran down my cheek.
"I used to cry like this a lot when your father did something to upset me She said gently touching the back of my head as she ran her fingers through my long hair.
"But papa, is... the best I trailed off as I pulled away and looked at her.
"You know him as your papa, but he was my husband before that and he made mistakes, people make mistakes its basic human nature Mama said, touching my cheek and wiping my eyes.
"With time you understand people more, Naira, everyone is not what they seem, but if you love them, you truly love them you would accept every part of them
Mama was right, love was encompassing right!
"Nobody is perfect She said smiling.
"And it is never too late to change she finished off.
I want to go to you. To look you in your eye and tell you I love you. But I don't know if I have it in me to accept every part of you as yet and I don't want to hurt you.
So, I keep away from you.
I do other things, like help Mishti with her homework and watch tv. I am avoiding having to think that my prince charming is not charming after all.
I am so sorry.
I don't wear your ring any more. Not because I don't love you but because it makes me think about you more than anything.
"Naira something has happened Gayu di said holding my hands, I stare at her hands holding mine. Everyone knows whatever it is. I can tell as they all look at me with concern.
"What is it? I ask her.
"Kartik was arrested today! I feel this sick sinking feeling in my stomach and my knees weaken. I feel someone, maybe Naksh I am not to sure hold me by my arms.
"What was he arrested for? I ask, as my eyes begin to water, and before it blurs, I swear I see a weird expression of almost relief in Gayu's eyes before she hides it.
"Guru ma said he attacked her, so they charged him with attempted murder I feel Naksh gently place me on a sofa. "She gave a statement to the police, so today at work Kartik was arrested
"There must be some mistake, we all know Kartik he is not that kind of person Everyone starts defending you but me. I remain silent and so does Gayu di. I look at my hands on my lap. And I think about the anger I saw in your eyes. The sheer violence in your eyes that scared me. But this...
I don't realize I am half shaking until someone hands me a glass of water and I am barely able to hold it.
"She must be in shock, Naksh why done we go to the police station and go get Kartik released...
I want to see you so badly I run out of the house before anyone can say anything to me. I go straight to my car and get inside. This has to be a lie right? Before I can leave my drive way, there is a woman blocking my way.
She gets off her car. She looked to be in her mid-40s I honk at her to move, but she just casually removes her sunglasses and stares at me.
"Are you Naira? She calls out my name, I nod from my car. She scrunches up her nose as she looks at me.
"Well the least you can do is get out of the car to greet your boyfriends mother She says. She was Kartik's mother?
Why was she here?
"I am Kartik's mother She said, then grimaced, "Step mother She said, I got of the car and went to her.
"Hello, aunty...K-Kartik is in trouble I said, she seemed to have not heard me, and just stared at me with a dead look in her eyes.
Not before giving my entire outfit a once over.
"Kartik is a big boy, he will sort his own problems out he always has She said, reaching out and pushing my hair behind my ear. I flinched at the touch of her cold hands on my ear.
"I need to go... Before I can move, she has my wrist, in an iron clad grip.
"Soon as I heard Kartik has fallen in love, I knew I had to meet you, I had to warn you about him, he is a spiteful boy if anything doesn't go his way, he manipulates everything to go in his favour, he caused a lot of problems between his father and I, his father turns a blind eye to his antics, but he is a monster, he will ruin your family like he ruined ours, you will never be happy with him. If they have him in jail, he will probably be out before the day even ends. And I guarantee you whatever it is he is being accused of I am 100 percent sure he did it
"If you want to save your family break up with him
I shook my head, no...
"Kartik killed my baby his brother my unborn son, ask him about that then you will know the truth
I hate myself more with every step I take back towards the house, wanting to badly to turn around and go to you.
I knew you would come to see me. As soon as you were be released. And there you were on the other side of my room. The ring you had given me was in my palm, burning almost.
You were dishevelled, you walk towards me, but I hold up my hand to stop you. My double bed stands between us. If you came near me, I would become weak, I would wrap my arms that ached to hold you instantly around you and never want to let you go.
"Naksh told me since you heard of my arrest you wouldn't come out of your room because you were worried... You started off, I did not tell anyone anything. No, I would wait for Mama to come home.
But I had to do this before. She came home. Before everything changed.
"Did you kill your brother? I ask you, and you say nothing you just stare at me. I feel shock hit me like a tsunami. Why were you not denying it?
"I wish I could lie to you You say, and I feel sick.
"I want to break up I say, you stare at me with this expression I cannot quiet place, yet it breaks my heart all the more, so I avoid looking up at you. You open your mouth to say something, but you do not. You do not defend yourself. You give me no excuse. And deep down I hoped you would shout at the top of your lungs for me to change my mind. Just ask me once to stay and I would but you did not. Your eyes are on my hands you see I no longer am wearing your ring and you know what it means.
I keep my eyes on my white rabbit which you eye as well.
You lift your hand and rake your hair roughly backwards, its something you always did. A little nervous tick I had always found cute. You turn around.
"Take this I say, holding out the ring. You stare at it.
"I don't want to I say, you walk towards me, slowly, until you are a few feet away from me, I can smell your cologne, and it makes this all the harder.
"Throw it away then You say, coming closer to me, I reach out and push the ring into your hand, but you let it fall to the floor, it goes under my bed. You reach out and grab me by the back of my head until my face is inches away from yours, you stare at me, while I look away at the door you had left wide open.
"I love you You say to me.
"I know I reply it is not what you want to hear we both know that, you let me go, I exhale, and you take a step backwards. And turn and leave. My knees give out and I fall to the floor. My chest hurt so badly I could barely breath. I held my hand over it.
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