Have you faced any harrasment?#MeToo - Page 6

Then it got worse. I was complaining that my seat was not reclining enough and he just reached across me to help me push the button. His forearm was pressed against my chest. I froze. Then afterwards, he offered to share a blanket together. I denied again. And then he went to sleep. But his hand kept pressing his hand against my thigh. I kept inching away and his hand continued. Eventually I stood up and started reading because I couldn't take it. An air hostess came and asked me if I am okay and made me sit down and thankfully he kept his hand to himself for the remaining 5 minutes of the flight.

I was 17 when this happened. I didnt respond because I didn't know if I was imagining things or he really had bad intentions. Even today, I don't know because when I told my mom and my grandma this they told me I probably imagined it and mistook the nice uncle's intentions to be something else. Even now, I can't respond when people harass me on public transport because I don't even know what is harrassment anymore. I was made to believe the fault lay in my thinking, not in the actions of that guy.

I really feel a sense of catharsis typing this post. Because after the response from my family I haven't told anyone about this. I feel a lot of shame associated with it but I also feel guilty because I don't know if I am justified in feeling shame. Am I doing it to play the victim card when I know people have gone through much worse? I don't know anymore. I am sorry if I talked way too much I am legit trembling a bit. I am sorry if I come off as overdramatic! 

#Me too

One time by my math tuition teacher.  Didn't go back to him after that one single episode.   Told my mom about it and quit immediately.  

It is so disheartening to read all these stories. Eve teasing and inappropriate touches while walking on roads are such a common thing in India that every single woman probably faces it atleast once in her lifetime.

 

As I read through pages, various such incidences (minor though, thankfully) right from my childhood flashed through my mind, and I thought I would share them here because I may not do it ever again. They are things of the past.

 

As a 8-9 year old kid I was traveling on a train with my family, and there was that middle aged man on adjacent sit who started touching my clothes and my body inappropriately. I only remember feeling uncomfortable at his gestures and expressing my displeasure to him.

 

In my neighborhood there were 5-6 families close to each other, with kids of same age, boys as well as girls. We used to play together often. There was a boy among them, just a couple of years older to me, who once or twice tried to rub his body against mine or fall upon me, pretending as if it was an accident while we were playing badminton. It was shocking considering we used to address him as 'bhaiyya'. I stopped playing with him after that especially when no elders were around and always made sure I kept an eye on him while he played with my younger sister and her friend.

 

I went to a small town engineering college in late 90s, we girls were significantly minority community in the college and teasing by fellow male students was a very very common thing on campus. Also, that was the time when I used to travel alone a lot, between hostel and home. While inappropriate touches by fellow passengers are common, I remember one particular incident where a boy of same age as mine tried to touch my hand and shoulders from behind, and I made him get down from the bus immediately by narrating the incident to the bus conductor. I even remember using safety pin as a tool a couple of times 😆

 

But I have to say I have a really pleasant experience of workplace. In the last many years that I have been working, I haven't experienced any single incidence of subtle/serious harassment myself or with my female colleagues. Either I am extremely lucky in that aspect or the corporate world is comparatively a much safer place for women.

I am so sorry this happened with you. Your incident made me remember something that I thought had forgotten. It was really a minor incident, but I kind of understand your confusion over whether he was really a creep, or you just imagined all of it. I remember when I was around 7 or 8 I was travelling with my Dad in a train which had a group of young, college going boys. Some of them came up to my Dad and chatted with him. I was sitting in front of my Dad's lap, and one of them was sitting right across me. He and my Dad were talking about some travelling spots when suddenly I felt his hands on my hands in a very discreet manner. I was looking down and not involved in the conversation but his touch made me look up and the look I saw in his eyes terrifies me even now as I recall it. I swear on my most beloved things that it wasn't a normal look. His face had a very weird smile on it. He kept looking at me and positioned his hands on my hands in a way in which my Dad wouldn't be able to see and continued staring with that particular look on his face. I remember feeling so odd and confused because as a 6 or 7 year old I still wasn't really taught about these things and I couldn't understand why I felt so odd at a mere touch from this stranger - something I had never felt before when others touched me. In that moment I just looked at him, gave him a smile in return for his weird smile as his fingers were interlaced with mine, and crept up into my Dad's lap to stay avoid being touched again. I have never told this incident to anyone as I am aware that it is a minor one and nothing really happened. In fact as I said I had forgotten about it till I read your post, but I am still as confused as I was that day as a little girl as to whether he really was a creep, or he was just a overly friendly person. But it is also true that I felt very very odd even when I knew nothing with regards to a good touch or a bad touch.