Oh such a necessary question. Almost all the girls I know have been sexually harassed in one way or another. I apologize if this makes anyone uncomfortable, about to get graphic here.
Between age 8-10
my mom's uncle took me out one day. We were supposed to just drive around and grab some food and he would drop me home. Instead we went to his apartment and took a nap middle of the day. Under the covers he made me play with something which he told me was his finger. I had no idea what it was back then but I knew it was not his finger. Now I know it definitely was not his finger. He always tried to kiss me and shove his tongue into my mouth when no one was around. Supposedly that was the only way to show how much I loved him. And I did love him. He always got me everything I wanted when my parents ignored my whims. No one in my family knows other than my sister and I told her only in last few years. The man lives in a different country and I feel sick when I hear him talk to my mom about us. Some days I just want to tell her so I won't have to hear her talk about him, and remember what he did with me as a child. But he has a family now, a wife, two daughters. What would I even get out of doing this anymore? My mom would never forgive herself for trusting him and leaving me with him.
One of my private Quran tutors constantly told me how I did not treat him well compared to his other students (kids I knew). He would constantly threaten me that he would tell all my friends I was rude and had behavior issues? What did he mean by this? Because I supposedly did not care for him the same way his other students did. How did he want me to care for him? He wanted me to kiss him on the lips. He would try in so many ways. He would tell me I would look prettier, my lips would look prettier if I did it. So the next day I stole my mom's lipstick and he said my lips weren't pretty, kissing would make it a different kind of pretty. I was never good with comebacks, I told him that's okay. He would ask me who was home at the time and when I told him my uncle and my maid he would tell me they are probably doing things in secret that we should also be doing. He used to say such dirty things to me. He would constantly try to convince me to let him "love" me, that I would like it. One day it was too much so I went to the other room and called my mom at work. I cried that I didn't want him but couldn't tell her why. My mom thought he was just being a strict teacher so she wanted to speak to him. Another day I started crying in front of him. I still remember this in details. I got up from my chair and sat on the floor burying my face on the sofa, too ashamed to cry in front of him or anyone else in the house. He let me cry and after few minutes he came over to hug me from behind, I felt him rubbing himself on me. This traumatized me and scarred me. From then on I was scared of any male tutors. I think my next tutor was a nice, decent man. But our knees kept touching under the table, like a simple brush here and there. I would get scared every time it happened. I couldn't trust it to be accidental. So I told my mom his knees touches mine and I don't like it. She changed my tutor.
One day our driver dropped us from school. My best friend and I were right about to enter our apartment building when a group of teenager boys grabbed us. They picked us up and were laughing. We screamed and my friend's mom heard us. From that day on the driver was instructed to take us to our doors.
In high school I really liked this boy. He was in college, he was good looking and I had just gotten out of a messy breakup. It was fun flirting with him and texting him all day. On our first date he wanted to show me all the things he wanted to do with me for so long. I kept telling him no, I am not ready, I don't want to... He didn't let it go though. "Come on, please..." So we did certain things, no not we. I let him do certain things while I stayed silent because I felt I would ruin things. I liked him first, I flirted with him first and now I am telling him I didn't want to do things with him. It was my fault. After that day I hated myself. I had never really hated myself before this. I liked boys so much before this day. After that day I was done with men. I ignored his texts, then I changed my number. I felt bad because it was my fault. I started it and now I was not being clear enough that I didn't want to see him again. I kept hoping he would get the hint. Months and months later he caught me at a museum I was volunteering at. He asked me why I was ignoring him. he asked me for my number and like a coward I gave it to him. He called me on the spot to make sure I didn't give him a wrong number. Then I went to the back and saw he was trying to take my picture from the window. He already told me once before that when we were friends he would pull up my picture and masturbate to it. I didn't care we were in public, and other volunteers were around, I ducked at that moment and didn't come out until he left.
Those are my three big ones in life. This is not counting the men I have encountered in work. There was this one old guy who would rub my back the whole time he would talk to me. His hands going over my bra over and over again. There was another old man who would constantly take my hand and try to buy me lunch or offer to give me outrageous gifts. Then there are the regular "compliments". Some guys don't just compliment and walk away, they stick around and make things uncomfortable. I have a hard time telling men straight up I am not interested so I usually lie and tell them I am seeing someone.
Edited by Rhimjhimsawan - 5 years ago
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