My eyes must've glimmered with unspoken waves of sorrow.
And strangely I felt the tinge of sadness trying to overwhelm me seeing her lying so badly injured in front of me. She might have given me uncountable scars and I never wanted to cross my paths with her ever again. But meeting her like this was never anticipated in my worst nightmares. The feeling of a sharp tug in my heart seeing her fading away and fighting for life was trying to make my visions blurry!!!
I thought I did not love her nor hate her. I thought I could be indifferent. I believed I was stronger now!!!
I thought it didn't matter either She or Kunal existed or not!!
Yet surprisingly I couldn't be heartless.
Yet every force within my existence told me to save that limp body of the biggest betrayer of my life!!
I was relieved and saved by the doctor inside me! Or probably there is still some traces of latent love breathing in me???
Dr. Mauli...Here is the chart..." Breaking my trance the Nurse forwarded those pieces of papers and I rushed my racing eyes to the reports.
Soon I got engrossed inside my contemplation!!
It has been almost countless months that I had remembered Nandu. Nope, Nandini.
I used to call her Nandu but that right has been snatched way earlier. A few years ago.
I don't know why but she seemed a little strange to me. She has become quite slender and pale as well. It's maybe due to the blood loss. But certainly looked like she has lost a lot of weight from the last time I have seen her 6 months ago in a mall with Kunal!
As I was breathing heavily to calm myself down while reading the reports something caught my eye!!
In the reports, the patient's name is listed as unknown. Why is that so?? Where is Kunal??
I renamed her form. Looking back at her I noticed Nandini's heartbeat has grown pretty stable and the condition of the fetus in her womb too improved gradually.
All of us passed the sigh of relief seeing the medication working fluidly! But still, the danger was not over completely!
After giving some more time towards observation, I came back to my cabin with, lost inside my pondering.
It's been a few hours we were engrossed in treating Nandini but still no signs of Kunal!
No. He doesn't live with us anymore. He has moved from the house years ago. Happily living with the supposed "love" of his life!!
This accident that is being talked about, it has at least 24 passengers injured while Nandini being one of them.
Luckily there was no casualty but it was marked as one of the bizarre accidents which had shaken the community badly.
We heard, A car in high speed probably lost control in the highway and crashed against a bus which in the impact collided with another vehicle coming from the opposite side. Ironically, that bus which had taken the impact from the speeding car was headed towards Lucknow! Hence making me think Nandini was leaving for Lucknow!
But the question remains the same. Where is Kunal?? Was he with Nandini at the time of collision?? If not then why he is not here yet??
I checked for reassurance once I was done running tests on Nandini. But no trace of him yet!! Maybe he doesn't know yet!
Should I then shoot a call to Kunal??
I was staring into my phone's screen, hesitating a little!!
It was the time for all the heaviness lurking in the air to go away maybe!! Otherwise, I wouldn't bang with a certain entity who is from some other planet in my opinion!!
This is the third time I had to collide with that airhead yet crazily genius colleague of mine!!
Aayush!! Doctor Aayush Arneja. Our eccentric Punjabi originated physician skilled on bones and ligaments! You may call him our star orthopedic!! Yeah in easy terms haddio ka doctor lol!!
Three years senior to me in the profession but is there any seniority or juniority in friendship??
Oh, I would have despised this overrated word called friendship if not for a few extraordinary people still existing in my life!!
He is amongst those very few responsible people because of whom I still have some sort of faith into humanity!! And probably towards friendship as well, even though my history has tried every stone to kill the essence of friendship, companionship from my life!
Aayush is like that brightest star in the dark hollow night which makes you feel the morning is near! The warmth of the sun is not so far, hold your breath a little longer!!
Umm, actually can I describe him?? I am probably the worst at doing it! So let me stick to a safe epithet as the "Goofiest talented doc! Short and simple!!
And I am??
I am Mauli, a gynecologist who is currently at the peak of her career!! You probably know a little bit of my story; can sometimes relate or sympathize with me! But this is the part what they didn't tell you!! Or I wouldn't show.
So, for now, let's continue after my infamous collision with Mr. Aayush who instantly invoked a raised brow in my face!!
"Hi, Mauli.. W...What's up..." God knows why he sounds so nervous at the starting of every conversation with me!!
"Kite...You wanna fly???" I scoffed sarcastically as he was holding my waist and sounded lost while looking into my eyes!!
"Kiyahhh!! Kaha...Kite...Yaha aur hospital mein?? Waise you are looking so cute in this blue outfit!!" He seriously didn't look at the ceiling after blabbering, did he!!
"Dr. Aayush seriously did aunty drop you or what!! Blue outfit?? This is our medical suit!! And I am just coming out from OT...Jaha aap bhi thhey 10 minutes pehle!!!?? Yaad aaya??" I rolled my eyes as he was back on with his tranced stares right at my face, still protectively holding me inside his arms!!
I tore my eyes away from him sensing his gazes turning into something I don't want to acknowledge!
No, it was not something inappropriate rather I was more scared because even though I want to deny but his eyes seem to reflect the purest form of love!!!
And that is something I didn't any longer associate with!!!
"First thing first...Choro mujhe...
Aur tell me itni tufani speed mein kaha bhag rahe ho, aab kaun si bhuchal aa gaya?? Aayush?? Am talking to you?? Doctor Aaayussshh!!" I pitched high, slapped on his broad biceps, trying to land him back on earth from his lala imaginary world!!
"Oh haan...Sorry..Where were we??...I hope you are ok, lagi toh nahin naa...Kiya keh rahi thi tum??" Blinking away he straightened me and cutely regained his senses by looking at his pager!!
"Mr. Haddi..I am fine...Don't worry we're still stuck in earth only!!
Now, Tell me...Itna pareshan kyun ho?? Did some patient ran away seeing your scary face or you again broke some limbs while treating??" I laughed and tried to ease the situation with my stupid jokes seeing his facial muscle tense away by my teasing!
I won't lie, the cordial relationship I share with Aayush currently is something I treasure due to its light nature. There has been so many stressful situations and these jokes which might seem lame at times but these help us to lift up the stressed surroundings.
And being a doctor who faces extreme conditions every day it's very important for us for not letting the seriousness to get inside our head! To have that one certain people, on whom we can always rely upon is what makes the work easier!
"Miss Mauli...If your sky roaming has ended then come to dharti sweetheart...
This is serious for a change...
You know ek high profile case aaya hain in this accident fiasco??
There was someone who is the wife of my school buddy...
I am damn in a hurry for it..." Sensing his serious voice I cut through in the middle and blurted, "Oh...I am so sorry...Mar gayi kiya...That's...So sad...I don..." And I stopped noticing his glares while projecting an innocent face!
Slapping his forehead he murmured something looking up at the ceiling and continued, "Ehh what...Kuch bhi anap shanap bolti ho ladki... Let me finish first...
I was saying that...She has been taken off from our hospital and already boarded to go into London with Dr. Riddhima...
Just imagine waking up, going into OT, Ek chain ki saans bhi nahin liya and then getting bombarded with these responsibilities...
I didn't even have a cup of coffee...
Wahi paperwork ke chakkar mein am getting insane...Kamse kam daas chakkar laga chuka hoon, I think my glucose is down as well!!
Anyway, now am almost done so see you in an hour in the cafeteria GF!!" Could he be any more dramatic but I don't know why the heck I keep finding his blabbering cute!!
"Nautanki...Take some deep breath...It seems you need to be admitted into ICU...
and stop calling me that when we are on duty!! Also, You know I have not said yes!! Waise bhi sahi time pe shaadi kar liya hota tumne then ek teenage baby hota abhi tumhara, kamse kam aab toh bachpana choro!!" I frowned while my pager seemed to buzz.
"Mana kiya tha naa haddi mat bulana, especially on duty??" He repeated my words while frowning, "Uss din I was lucky that sister Lovly didn't hear otherwise it would have been my surname by now in the hospital!!
Aur mera proposal!! You didn't say no either!! Furthermore, what will I even do with your yes?? Injection maru yes or no ko??
Ye toh mere dill aur tumhare dill ka mamla hain naa, woh dono samajh lenge!! Tum naa free mein yun beech mein maat aao!! Haa.
Chalo bye aab!! Don't forget the coffee! Your would be doesn't like late comers!!"
"Kiya...Aayush...Pagal...Uff, why god why??" Needless to say how I get stupefied with red hues appearing on my cheeks at moments like this!!
Looking at my either ways, I sincerely hoped nobody heard his infamous words!! And hell why even am smiling like an idiot remembering his childish demeanors!!
This specimen took almost a decade to propose me(he had a crush on me since our mbbs days as he was my senior). Behind his smiling face, there are also some deeply buried sorrows. Tasting the bitter aftereffect of a broken engagement, hardship with family, he had a rigid idea about relationships as well!!
Meeting me, coming to our hospital has compelled him to think otherwise, that's what he tells me!! He funnily accused me with big eyes and an accusatory tone of being the conspirator who led him to break his rigid promise to himself of never paying heed towards emotional bondages!!
So after denying, concealing his feeling for a long time he stopped running from himself and decided it was the right time.
Anyway, let's get back to the funny part. When he proposed to me 3 months ago with that flat face of his in the prescription note, I just didn't know should I laugh cry or suggest him some medication!! Not to mention his almost undecipherable handwriting!!
Therefore instead of answering anything, I ended up prescribing him laxative!! Needless to say, I laughed the whole day seeing his face cutely huffed up!!
Deep inside I was getting petrified with the genuineness of his words!!! His mature and responsible side has been always appealing to me.
But above all one thing is conspicuous that we definitely have a very beautiful bonding which is why maybe Aayush is the only one who didn't let me feel miserable with the topic "love/ "commitment"
And that's why there was no need for an answer. It was a proposal done in the most goofiest way possible.
But it was never a question rather a declaration from his side!!
And I respect it utmostly! I can never judge anyone or their positive feelings for me even if there is something broken so deeply inside me!
I know Aayush comprehends I am not the same Mauli he saw 10 years ago!
He knows I have changed, got badly bruised, damaged, desperately attempted to fix and scars like these which changes you forever!!
I evolved too. Into something better. At least I hope!
What I feel for Aayush is the term "Complicated... Extremely complicated..."
Gone are those days where I could feel excited like a teenager with the kind of warmth Aayush tries to splash in my life.
I have grown beyond this superficial imaginary concept of marriage, true love, and blah blah blah!!
These are all myths to protect fake stability in the relationship. Manmade lies. A desperate effort to keep these fragile relationships between man and woman normal!! Yes normal!! Spread the lies and normalize them!! Start with that overused phrase "True love exists!!"
"A man would never break the trust of the woman he loves!!"
"Love makes our lives beautiful"
"Love is the greatest happiness of life"
Oh dear, do I laugh when I read or hear exaggerated things like this???
Isn't it all the play of dopamine rather?? Okay, oxytocin and testosterone, estrogen and many many more other hormones, chemical reactions as well!!
Except for the reality about love is hideously ugly!
Truth is that you can't fix broken trust. Truth is that if you trust that will eventually break!
But I never fancied witnessing this scary side of truth!
I wanted to be 'Normal'!! I aspired to believe fairy tales existed. I ached so badly to see the glimpse of true love and wanted to live that love a few years ago!
I solicited to discern my perfect marriage has trust and respect in abundance if not a fairy tale itself.
I never wanted to grow up to know about these manmade lies about love! I was felicitous in my own fantasy world.
If not immensely passionate love then true love with the purest fashion would have been enough for me!! Would have kept me satiated for ages!
But I forgot love can't be attained only by my efforts. It's a two-way lane!!
Do I sound pessimistic??
Shall the truth always be optimistic! Lately, I don't even feel like myself. The old me was gone with the wind, I've told myself.
And so now that I have perceived that 'upside down realm' of reality, I really don't know how to or what to name my developing emotions for Aayush. Nor I have the desire to suppress it!!
Maybe . . . .
My thought chains broke with a loud buzzing of the phone.
'Dida calling' flashed on the screen.
"Mauli...Beta..." She sounded awfully tensed and that's quite unusual!!
"Kiya huwa Dida...Sab theek toh hain?? Aap abhitak soyi nahin??" I tried to sound as calm as possible.
"Beta tu ghar kab aa rahi hain?? It's about Kunal...Tu ghar pe aa beta jaldi..." Needless to say my anticipation proved to right as Dida's anxious voice echoed in my senses!!
Pardon me for any spelling , grammatical or other errors.
Like and comment please if you do like this story , leave me some feedback, guys that help to motivate and write further!
(Both updates 4500+ words in total!!!)