The New Norm - Victim Blaming - Page 7

Originally posted by: chulbuliladki

I agree with this post whole heartedly. No matter what Nandini does I don't think it is right to say she deserved the abuse or was better off with Rajdeep. Mazak mazak me bhi aise bolna sahi nahi hoga. I don't think one realises the consequences of being in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for long. Nobody chooses to be raped or assaulted and nobody deserves it. I always thought Kunal would be the one to get bashed the most as he is riding on two boats and playing with both ladies and their emotions but it kind of surprises me to see most of the hate aimed at Nandini. They are equally responsible for me in this but Kunal pisses me off more. You were in a happy marriage and still chose to do what you did. I find that unacceptable in all ways.

Agree with you!!!!

I also think I am in any way NOT justifying what Nandini does, and I have never done that. All I am trying to say that it kind of makes sense. Of course it is fiction and reality is very hard and harsh, but that doesn't mean to use derogatory terms to talk about a woman - ANY WOMAN!!!! That includes Mauli's mom too who can be hard to digest at times. I will never ever advocate violence for anyone - including Rajdeep.

How we speak and behave speaks a lot. We can critique it is perfectly okay but it has to be done with courtesy. At the end of the day regardless of our personal views, we are humans and if we are calling names to a fictional character, what does that mean? we cannot control our emotions towards a fictional character? In reality things aren't as it is shown and I think we all are smart enough to know that. I don't respond to rude and derogatory comments. If you cannot add value then I have nothing say to you is my motto 😊

Originally posted by: evenjleena28

I have never ever said that Nandini is not to be blamed, in fact I have always said that she is responsible too. All I am trying to say that her behaviour makes sense from clinical point of view and whilst she is to be blamed, Kunal is the stressor. Mass shootings perpetrators rarely do not have any disorder. That does not absolve their guilt, same way it does not absolve Nandini's role, but rather than calling her names and hoping more abuse on her, her situation can be analysed with open mind.

Hi i admire you for going against majority and try to seeing the situation from Nandinis POV. I do believe her actions are fundamentally indefensible. And we both agree, if i read u correctly, that she can't escape from responsibility for her part in this.

Its just that u r trying to see her mental makeup and where shes coming from leading to all this. But people (specially Indians) are very emotional (juzbaati lol) beings. You are cooly and logically analyzing Nandini as a character. Her motivations, her psyche. But for many Nandini is so far out of reach that shes a completely unreal character. Noone can image themselves in her shoes. Noone can imgaine doing what she did. Whereas people can easily imgine themselves as Mauli. Why Maulis acting the way she is. Maulis story can be our story. But Nandini's story can never be ours. We can never do what she did. And so when the character u completely relate to(mauli) and get so invested in if something utterly unfair and bad happens to her. Its like that its happening to US. Its why we sometimes end up crying in movies.

So don't take the abuse so seriously. People are seriously pissed at Nandini. Because HOW could she! How can anyone! Its the empathy in us as we are seriously/easily putting themselves in Maulis shoes and and really really felling for her. Why else would we waste so much personal time venting and processing that hurt and anger here in forum. Its like wow do people like Nandini really exist who are capable of this magnitude of betrayal.

And if it was any other show and Nandini was any other woman then she would honestly be getting equal amount of hate as Kunal. It is less about being a women and sexist attitude i think. Its just being Maulis bff angle that has really rubbed a whole lot of people the wrong way and hence overwhelming barrage of hate coming her way.

Please keep writing. Its good to read different people. I think when we think deeply and write about something it helps us understand OURSELVES better. And shapes/gives us insight into our own mind. Why we think the way we do? And why do others think the way they do? Its why im slightly addicted to forum.

Originally posted by: sunshine333

.

Hi i admire you for going against majority and try to seeing the situation from Nandinis POV. I do believe her actions are fundamentally indefensible. And we both agree, if i read u correctly, that she can't escape from responsibility for her part in this.

Its just that u r trying to see her mental makeup and where shes coming from leading to all this. But people (specially Indians) are very emotional (juzbaati lol) beings. You are cooly and logically analyzing Nandini as a character. Her motivations, her psyche. But for many Nandini is so far out of reach that shes a completely unreal character. Noone can image themselves in her shoes. Noone can imgaine doing what she did. Whereas people can easily imgine themselves as Mauli. Why Maulis acting the way she is. Maulis story can be our story. But Nandini's story can never be ours. We can never do what she did. And so when the character u completely relate to(mauli) and get so invested in if something utterly unfair and bad happens to her. Its like that its happening to US. Its why we sometimes end up crying in movies.

So don't take the abuse so seriously. People are seriously pissed at Nandini. Because HOW could she! How can anyone! Its the empathy in us as we are seriously/easily putting themselves in Maulis shoes and and really really felling for her. Why else would we waste so much personal time venting and processing that hurt and anger here in forum. Its like wow do people like Nandini really exist who are capable of this magnitude of betrayal.

And if it was any other show and Nandini was any other woman then she would honestly be getting equal amount of hate as Kunal. It is less about being a women and sexist attitude i think. Its just being Maulis bff angle that has really rubbed a whole lot of people the wrong way and hence overwhelming barrage of hate coming her way.

Please keep writing. Its good to read different people. I think when we think deeply and write about something it helps us understand OURSELVES better. And shapes/gives us insight into our own mind. Why we think the way we do? And why do others think the way they do? Its why im slightly addicted to forum.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for keeping this conversation interesting and educated, I love a healthy debate and you know at times I have been wrong and that is okay too, at least I found the right way 😊

I don't take abuse seriously but I do find it sad that in this day and age where just because a woman is cheating she is being called such disgusting names. Saying that she wears backless - which btw is one of the silliest argument I ever heard. Cheating is fundamentally wrong but so is calling horrible names. I guess I prefer a civilised conversation as opposed to name calling.

That is the thing unless we are in such situation it is impossible to predict what one can do - I can vehemently deny and say that if I were Nandini I will never do that, but am I in her shoes? NO so it is easy to say. That again in no way justifies what Nandini is doing but is crude language necessary?

I love engaging with intelligent minds and yours is amazing 👏 The ones to whom I have responded have been very polite and offered their POV and it is amazing to see things from a different perspective.

To be very honest I am not even that invested in this show but I like Mauli as a character and want to see her journey so am sticking around...lol

One of the most mature and balanced post I have come across on this forum. Brilliant analysis 👏

Originally posted by: chulbuliladki

I agree with this post whole heartedly. No matter what Nandini does I don't think it is right to say she deserved the abuse or was better off with Rajdeep. Mazak mazak me bhi aise bolna sahi nahi hoga. I don't think one realises the consequences of being in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for long. Nobody chooses to be raped or assaulted and nobody deserves it. I always thought Kunal would be the one to get bashed the most as he is riding on two boats and playing with both ladies and their emotions but it kind of surprises me to see most of the hate aimed at Nandini. They are equally responsible for me in this but Kunal pisses me off more. You were in a happy marriage and still chose to do what you did. I find that unacceptable in all ways.

Edited by _charu_ - 5 years ago