Bepannah ~My thoughts ~ep 79 5.7.18. First time fathers..
Pooja gave Adi a surprise. she was pregnant! Adi's jaw dropped she was must be joking!! Did Pooja want a child to tie Adi down! So he could settle down in his fancy free and foot loose ways? Today I would like to start on a positive note. Since Pooja's pregnancy is subject to debate and through Sakshi's scathing attack upon Adi we find out how Pooja like most married women was keen to roost so she can pin Adi down with responsibilities. However as par Sakshi,Adi was one child who refused to grow up and wanted Pooja to mother him forever so how could he ever want to become a father?? I would like to deal with the issue of Adi being a first time father... some thoughts are social trends, that are not absolute and should be taken as generalizations. But it is the volley of blames fired at Adi today that makes me think like the way I do; consider suppositions that revolve around how Adi's image is portrayed in the episode where he is taken to task for showing unwillingness to start a family...
Today's episode epitomizes covertly, the dreads of the first time fathers. Back in the day the onus lay more upon the woman to bear fruit. Add to the branches of the family tree. Things were expected to happen. Not much consultation happened between couples regards starting a family. Children, however were and still are considered a blessing to the family. However in keeping with the current trends, in the humdrum of living in the fast lane. Couples now show more caution in starting families. Issues like parents jobs,child care and welfare have to be taken into consideration. Where the wider family lends support in the child care and nurturing its seen as a big advantage for the parents of the child.
However cv's highlight some issues a first time fathers can face. Adi I would defend in this category to save his stance on being seen as the flippant husband who denied his wife mother hood due to his I can do no wrong attitude! Sakshi is a mouthpiece that, Pooja craved to become a mother. While for Adi, quite rightly too, as I see it, he wasn't quite ready. In fact the idea of starting a family should have been a joint decision. In Adi/Pooja case it appears to be Pooja's, and that too to buckle him! For Adi , too, I believe like other first time fathers, was aware it would mean a big change in both their life styles. Being a new father will mean where previously he was the centre of his wife's attention. She met all his demands. His , place will be overtaken by a needy new individual in their life. Like other first time fathers, Adi too will feel he would share Pooja's his wife's attention, with the baby. Like other new fathers, Adi too, would have to adjust their life style. Make room for a new member. Like other first time fathers, who knows? Adi too also feared losing out on Pooja's love.. come across being neglected? Perhaps, like other first time fathers, Adi too felt anxious and fearful about proving himself to be a responsible father? We hear, from Sakshi that Pooja already thought he was irresponsible! No wonder he was nervous... can he be trusted with the care of another member other their wife?
Pooja as we learn from Sakshi found Adi a handful. Forever depending on her to take responsibility for him too. To me Pooja somehow wanted to be in charge, in control of his life. She preferred him being dependent on her. It was a way of proving she was the ideal wife for him ready to cater to his every need and want. In a way she never really gave him a chance to be the protective husband. She smothered him, by molly coddling him! so when Sakshi takes Adi to task by telling him, how could he father a child? As he himself was the man who never grew up from a boy.
Another reason Adi dreads, wanting to be a father, perhaps, that like some first time fathers, he too feels that he would need to give, up the social life that Pooja and him both enjoyed , to cater to the needs of the new arrival! Some new fathers feel, and for me, Adi may not be an exception, that becoming a father may compartmentalises them into being older, boring ,stressed men preoccupied with nappies, cots and buggies! Mind you, Adi as Pooja saw him had a lot of catching up to do before he could reach maturity. Having a baby will change a lot in his life. like other new fathers, he will have to slow down ,rather than live life in the fast lane, doing things at the drop of a hat! as suddenly such preoccupations becomes a thing of the past with the coming of a bundle of joy! I suspect the Adi, too generally like the contemporary man has to be pushed into becoming a father.. although many might avoid the idea, their baby has the potential to work miracles! Pooja should have pressed harder! She kept mum! Some experiences First time fathers, may also celebrate and Adi too could have done so, had he not been denied this by Pooja. Celebrate the transition wives go through from being a wife into a mother! Adi was kept in the dark!
However for Chiku the role model father he has in the shape of Harsh Hooda is enough to put any one off fatherhood! If at all Adi ever fathered a baby, something tells me he will not be an absent father like Harsh Hooda. Adi has never looked up to his father. Money, respectability, power always mattered to his father. The man gave him and Arjun some sordid memoires of fatherhood at an impressionable age. Children roles models are their parents in the main.. and Adi's reluctance to fatherhood stems through his own experiences. Even in this episode Harsh Hooda never fails to remind Adi how his grace and power as his father! Keeps him afloat! Wherever possible his father, tries to put down Adi. In the recent court case scenario , he embraces Adi only to save his professional credibility... using Adi as a pawn.. some father!
Spanner in the works! Sakshi's comes to Hooda house to reveal the truth and nothing but the truth! she fall's upon Adi like a ton of bricks! Was this Pooja's bitter mother I see before my eyes? Or a foster mother who loves Adi to this day. The manner in which she handles and shakes him roughly is like a mother who scolds an adolescent son. Her words are caustic accusations , bitter truths all said to Adi to reprimand him. Warnings to him to mend his ways. Makes me wonder she was doing the job Anjana should have done to turn Adi into a responsible husband. Pity is, how could Anjana have done so? Her own husband deserted her at one point in life.
Sakshi is cruel to be kind to Adi. Regrettably she only picks on all his negative traits and forces him to see Pooja as a victim! nd Adi as the perpetrator. She refers to Adi's attitude of always being right and others his well wishers in the wrong. Sakshi warns him his manner only goes to isolate him, as he devalues relationships. Pooja married him for stability, but soon got to see his falling out with his family and throwing temper tantrums! The saddest wake up call from Sakshi to Adi is about Pooja expecting his child! and then having to abort it due to his indifference of not wanting to start a family. The effect of this news is horrendous on Adi and he literally sinks to his knees under its strain. Like a child who covers his ears to blot out being told off by adults. Did Sakshi do this to neutralize the effect of Pooja having an EMA and then carrying her lovers baby?? If so then how can she claim to love Adi? In fact all through her tirade she weighed him down with censuring him for Pooja going astray! She even blames Adi for Pooja's abortion. Pooja to me. May have been an ineffective wife.. keeping secrets from him.. right from her pregnancy to her abortion. Both of these issues are serious and required both Adi and Pooja's heads coming together .But it appears she executed it all by herself. To me Pooja seemed laid back even in lumbering Adi with responsibilities..
Ok the whole Sakshi's section of showing Adi the mirror is to put in place self-corrective measures for Adi. She uses tough luck! approach! on Adi that his mother Anjana should have perhaps used on him?Sakshi aims, crudely though, to make Adi stop blaming others and accept some responsibility for Pooja's action and not blame and dismiss her entirely..
I take this episode as the finale where Adi hits rock bottom. The diary, the pregnancy report.. Sakshi's reprimand all push him to face those truths he may have blocked out due to his initial shock of being cheated by his best friend/cum wife. This episode should be seen as a spring board for Adi to jump off and leave behind his past mistakes. If he plays his card right, there is life in abundance for him and true love too! with Zoya ke baachi!.. love Adiya Bepannah!! I may have digressed,but this is my way of getting my head around this powerful episode..Nearly refrained from posting it! Hamlet53 6.7.18
Harshad chopra as Adi.. you were par excellence in the episode .thank you for breathing life into a character like Adi..
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