Bepannah My thoughts, Being seen & being heard!

Hamlet53 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago

Bepannah ~My thoughts ~ ep 44~17.5.18 .. Being visible & being heard

Was  old an saying, "children should be seen, not heard remember it well, being said it often to me. Discouraging me to speak, unless spoken too , especially in the presence of  adults. If my memory serves me right it was a widely practiced Victorian times aristocratic  norm, applied specifically to girls training them to become young ladies. In general, the saying indicates, that children best be quiet and show restraint in their behaviour. Well, at present times, educational standards encourage children, regardless of which gender, to  develop their speaking and listening skills as its the key to language acquisition.

Zoya's gruelling session with Kanti  Virani  reminds me  of the saying with a slight deviation women should be visible not heard. Again in this day and age the concept behind the saying will be subject to much censure. But the origin lies entrenched historically, in social structures down the ages,  where the head of the household has been a patriarchal figure. Kanti  Hirani stands for the traditional old school patriarchal figure whom none dare challenge, only confirm to and accept his dictate, both men and women alike. The episode, also shows a  contrast  between Kanti Virani and the younger, contemporary male figures like Adi and the junior Virani's. Their perception of women deviates from Kanti Virani. Take Adi for example, despite all his fall outs with Zoya, he remains silent, lets her break through her nervous tension,  and say her piece as best as Zoya  can.

Aditya  may be a rake, flippant and erratic in this manner. But the last thing he is, is a male who controls and manipulates a situation against the wishes of a woman. Especially if the woman is Zoya. As he stands poised before her with the MS. Her body language speaks loud and clear to him. As much as the whole act is a hoax Adi's eyes can read the windows of her soul clearly. While Zoya mumbles a prayer for some miracle to happen so that the moment passes! Adi's stares at her cringed, sided face.. a real man refrains from forcing himself against the will! the very soul of a vulnerable woman! I wonder also if his soul withdraws back with fear, who knows if Zoya still reserves the circumference of her neck with the withheld memory of the MS given to her by the cheater Yash??  But for the minute the need of the hour for him is to pull Zoya out of her misery! Thus Adi , never short of  smart thoughts and with equally  shrewd words, addresses her as Mrs. Hooda  but slaps a condition that  when she is  up to the mark.. that'll be the day he'll put the MS around her neck. Aditya forfeits his male dominance before her, and gives her the upper hand. An equality,  that when she is emotionally ready to accept him with all his imperfections, that'll be the day when he will give his all in the form of the reverent Mangulsutra.

The roaring laugh from Kanti Virani , typifies how male dominance under the grab of tradition and convention , when it comes to decision making  in society is made light off.no wonder some find it a chore to make decisions, as most decisions are taken, in their lives by fathers ,brothers, husbands or sons!  

 Virani's  guffaw, Shows the old fogey's instant likeness for Adi. But to me its all tongue in cheek! as the old patriarch misunderstands Adi's true colours, in what he says to Zoya? and why? For Adi it was a rescue Zoya expedition!  Instead,  Virani  gives approval for  Adi's attitude of keeping his "wife in  line ,as he believes given women an inch and take a yard! hence should be kept in their space! Zoya's moment of terror passes by default! But by now, Zoya  can sense old Virani has some caveman orthodox mindset! He might just have it in for her! she'll need to watch her step.  She knows too, Aditya Hooda yet again saves her skin..  

Seems to Zoya, quite rightly, it's a man's world.  It's Adi, who Kanti  Virani wants to talk business with. She fumes.. no way will she let the matter  rest. Being excluded by Adi's as his  co-partner in Zosh,  To  her its  contemptible!! The way Adi plays along with the orthodox  Kanti  Virani. Is Zoya  being rather  hasty. Is she being insensitive to  how precarious the circumstances  are? That getting the contract is crucial. She needs to have faith in Adi's actions.  

Their squabbles are inevitable, yet they bind and bring them closer. Zoya thanks him for bailing her out of a spiritual discomfiture, but digs her heels in, that duping Virani's with a serious blatant lie, is morally  still quite serious at least for her, and  probably socially scandalous.

To Adi all lies appear similar. He fails to differentiate between them. Is probably miffed at her for fussing about  feigning to be his wife, while before she agreed to Mahi carrying on the same pretension with him. Are they both  beating about the bush regards their undefined bond?  Yet both regurgitate reasons  before each  other to  erase  any underlying meaning to their existing interaction. Zoya goes on about giving a false statement. Aditya reminds her of retrieving Zosh from bankruptcy and leaves it to her! however she wants to deal with her upholding the truth issue!

The scene rather neatly leads on to Zoya being visible and being heard before the unquestioned patriarchal figure head of  Hirani Spices. The scene speaks of Adi's expressions of here goes the deal down the drain! I suspect he too, fails to realize how far  his dare to Zoya, go tell the truth to Kanti  Virani then will go? But it ends up  shaping ,where both Zoya, Adi and the employees  all end up being comfortable with the forthcoming business venture. Zoya for one, rather dexterously speaks the truth, despite being rather  unceremoniously  rebuked by the intractable   Virani ,who talks to men only. Zoya  gathers her courage  and declares she is not[only] Aditya s wife ,but also his business partner!  Adi finds it hard to supress his  relief. Almost ,I will say admires her presence of mind wherein  Zoya rescues herself from falling in her own eyes,  by speaking the truth. While on the other hand she keeps the reason why the lie is put in practice? Adi with lowered eyes bucks her up silently, when she jumps through the hoops with every awkward gender disregard1 that Kanti  Virani fires to exclude hers.

It's interesting  to see how Zoya uses this platform  to promote quite vocally , her  strictly business bond with Adi.  He too can see that her sincerity of expression goes more towards, the credence she gives to running a family business, a criteria the Virani's sought, and less to some personal development  between them. Her focus remains to show, that in being business partners,  how consultation occurs between them in business matters.  Adi still continues to be smug that Mz. prime, proper prude Zoya,  is catching on to the art of playing with words ,as long as they fit in with her morality mode.

No wonder  that Zoya's simple, truthful, succinct  speech wins them the contract on trail basis to show  if  Zosh can deliver what they profess! All ends well except, that  the old traditionalist trashes up the issue of Zoya still clutching   on to the MS in her palm.  Virani growls and suggests the inevitable.. business is business!but what of her other role! that of wife!

Lovely scene. .its awkwardness says it all. Adi turns his face the other way.. she has to earn it! Zoya gulps .this contract! This chance is crucial! She decides. Spares Adi from an action bound by what he had said. Now it only lies in her hands , to show she is not coerced  by Adi.. by her own personal morality. This time she will be answerable only to herself. Why she did what she did? Her conscience is clear..a lie that saves others ,br,ings joy and relief is worth sinning for, perhaps! Zoya with her own two hands puts the sacred MS around her neck! It's  blessings are not limited to two people but goes beyond being loyal to those who are loyal to them!   Hamlet53.18.4.18

The episode creates rebellion against deep rooted traditional ,orthodoxy in patriarchal mind sets  Especially  in the area of discrimination against women.  All done in order to restore some form of order in the governance of society. Where it all begins in is the family unit, from there its stems out into the wider areas of society. That men are stronger than women physically . Now  we know it's a stereotypical  view, as individuals vary. Aditya and Zoya both suffer a common pain. The way they deal with it, is quite individualistic.  We also see, the elements of changing times, in the shape of Zoya,  Mahi and the younger men as compared to the old school Draconian  Kanti  Virani.  Its funny to see as soon as the old man leaves.  The daughter  in law rebels and reveals she shows reverence for elders, but maintains power over her husband plus has her clout! But   some issues remain. Does  she have a direct say in decision making, the right to disagree ? before her patriarchal father in law?? Or does she too, abide's by conformity to the way things are?? Zoya  and Mahi stand out as women who can speak their mind .

I thought it was a good offering by the cvs.. not outrightly condemning tradition and conventional thinking, but rather celebrating the fast fading strength and unity of the family unit.  Virani's also  stand for hard work, concerted effort , and exporting ones cultural values through spices across the shores of where it all began for them.  So the choice is there..  move with the times and challenge tradition if it devalues you as a person. But hang on to the values of your roots that make you who you are..

Sorry for late post.. was busy.. much love hammie          

 

Edited by Hamlet53 - 5 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

16

Views

1285

Users

7

Likes

43

Frequent Posters

princy48 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 5 years ago
Marvellous ...!! N nothing else..luv u fr this hammie ..!! πŸ€—
A part of d episode was an amalgum of traditions ..thinking then n now..!!

I'm loving this track bcoz of the fact that the individualities of adi n zoya are being preserved..the vulnerability of adiya is to be kept in mind,n cvs are successful to an extent..by not rushing the track(change in feelings) bcoz of the circumstances..

I felt amazed seeing adi understanding zoya wid her one look one gesture of being not ready, uncomfartable, ..wat will be his understanding level he he actually strts loving her

Well i'm excited to see hw the relation of adi n zoya (fake) gonna explore the pros n cons in a relationship..kuch din ke liye hi sahi ..but being husband n wife ..

will adiya be able to see the differences b/w their old relationship n the budding one nw?? 

Will they be able to accept it .. If they hav had any flaws in past ..??

But my main question remains unanswered as i hav a least expectation that they(cvs) will show all the above stated theory..!! I guess they'll not...

But i strngly feel if it is shown in this way ..the show gonna be really different n interesting!!

So these are my opinions ..doubts that were raised whyl reading ur post..n i feel content  on reading ur post..!! afta having a hectic day !!

So thanku very much fr lighting up my mood ❀️
adventure_gurl thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 5 years ago
lovely post, amazing analysis
DreamOfEndless thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
Dear Hammie,

This is a remarkable post. πŸ‘

I am stumped by your interpretation of the scene where Zoya puts MS to herself. I had earlier felt uneasy with it. It seemed to me they were repeating what their spouses did - MS belonging to someone and appearing as spouse to someone else. I have no more to write about the episode as you have rendered me speechless with your lovely writing. πŸ˜³

You need not apologize for being late, I can understand. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in spite of your busy schedule. I hope you keep doing so. πŸ€—

PS: I hope you don't mind my pointing out, but you have misspelled Virani as Hirani. Otherwise, your post is flawless. πŸ˜Š


 - Tia
Edited by dreamy.tiara - 5 years ago
Hamlet53 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
helooo princy48,πŸ˜ƒ great to see you
Marvellous ...!! N nothing else..luv u fr this hammie ..!! πŸ€—
A part of d episode was an amalgum of traditions ..thinking then n now..!!
it sure  was from the old fogey's laugh!  I went what??  
I'm loving this track bcoz of the fact that the individualities of adi n zoya are being preserved..the vulnerability of adiya is to be kept in mind,n cvs are successful to an extent..by not rushing the track(change in feelings) bcoz of the circumstances..
couldn't agree more.. adiya  bond has to be slow and gradual..
I felt amazed seeing adi understanding zoya wid her one look one gesture of being not ready, uncomfartable, ..wat will be his understanding level he he actually strts loving her
her body language was obvious... he  felt by his act phoney as it was , he would perhaps blemish her purity.. his expressions were soulful... and then the sudden change in tack to tell her he knows what she feels... see this is romance..  eyes articulating, 
Well i'm excited to see hw the relation of adi n zoya (fake) gonna explore the pros n cons in a relationship..kuch din ke liye hi sahi ..but being husband n wife ..
me to, something tell me, squabbles, skirmishes,  and heavens no!  the  trip/fall/submit scenesπŸ˜†..
will adiya be able to see the differences b/w their old relationship n the budding one nw?? 
look princy, if they are not interrupted  by FB's of their past cheating partners , then  they may score a goal!
Will they be able to accept it .. If they hav had any flaws in past ..?? 
this will be interesting to watch.. adi, so far gives the impression, he might just fancy her. Zoya.. still till pensive..may be its early for her,as she's only just beginning  to find her feet...
But my main question remains unanswered as i hav a least expectation that they(cvs) will show all the above stated theory..!! I guess they'll not...
me to hope they do...they cannot rush a bond between Zoya and Adi..it has to evolve.. to   make a difference .. to what they both experienced before
But i strngly feel if it is shown in this way ..the show gonna be really different n interesting!!
well,mate, lets hope the Cv's visit this forum, to get a feel of the viewers  feedback
So these are my opinions ..doubts that were raised whyl reading ur post..n i feel content  on reading ur post..!! afta having a hectic day !!
thanks mate...  we 've let them know what we wish to see.. surely   they'll take it on board ,..of course  depends  if they visit      bepannah forum..
So thanku very much fr lighting up my mood ❀️
thanks princy, for sharing your  precious thoughts with me... much love yours hammie

Hamlet53 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: adventure_gurl

lovely post, amazing analysis

Hello adventure_ gurl πŸ˜ƒ good to see you, and thanks so much for your gracious comment ,means a lot to me,  love hammie
Hamlet53 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: dreamy.tiara

Dear Hammie,

helooo Tia... you are a β­οΈ  thanks for pointing my mistake pal... that's what you're here for..  zoomed and corrected...      Virani... it is now!
This is a remarkable post. πŸ‘
thank you ... πŸ˜ƒ
I am stumped by your interpretation of the scene where Zoya puts MS to herself. I had earlier felt uneasy with it. It seemed to me they were repeating what their spouses did - MS belonging to someone and appearing as spouse to someone else. 
now this in itself is an interesting pointer... who knows cv's picked up on this and later on we may a scene with the MS.. and drawing a parallel with what you say..
I have no more to write about the episode as you have rendered me speechless with your lovely writing. πŸ˜³
have I??... was thinking,  oh spare the readers hammie.. stick to the episode! don't waffle... but Tia.. by now you should know how I write.. abhi tu I had to restrain my self..  Tia you only have to read Austen how similar Victorian society is to our culture in terms of preening their daughters for catching a gentleman!   
You need not apologize for being late, I can understand. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in spite of your busy schedule. I hope you keep doing so. πŸ€—
my pleasure.. talking about MS and weddings.. tomorrow Harry gets married to Megan in a chapel in Windsor.. half n'hour   from where I live... this  lagan is for real!πŸ˜›

PS: I hope you don't mind my pointing out, but you have misspelled Virani as Hirani. Otherwise, your post is flawless. πŸ˜Š
you are right... amended... thank you Tia... lets watch  tonight's show..   much love, yours hammie

 - Tia

shruthiravi thumbnail
Anniversary 11 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 5 years ago
Hammie a very  beautiful post. I do not have anything to add to your post. But your heading being seen and being heard I want to talk a few things about Indian culture, hope you dont mind. 
If you look through ages women were expected to be seen and not heard. But both the epics Ramayana and Mahabharatha brings out the leading ladies who are not seen but force the world to hear them. 

Sita when she rejects the kingdom of Ayodhya and takes Bhoomipravesh she questions the entire society that put a question mark on her chastity. She is called Mahalakshmi but the end of Ramayana is Mahalakshmi rejecting the society that rejected her.  Here also Ayodhya escapes the full wrath of that pious woman because Ram never remarries and he never gives the place he had given to Sita in his heart to another woman. In short if Ram is sent through the fire which Sita went he will also come unscathed as he was loyal to his wife body, mind and soul. 

Now comes Panchali, the woman who questions the entire kurusabha in the infamous hall of dice. But that sabha practices the rule women are seen not heard. They approve the worst adharma of disrobing a noble women. The society where men marry multiple times calls this woman a wh**e because she had 5 husbands. But Krishna comes for her. He shows the world she is not impure, she is not wh**e, she is a noble, pious lady.

We treat both Ram and Krishna as Narayan. We need to understand Narayan practiced the same rule for himself, what he expected out of women in his life. If he expected Sita to pass AP, he too was willing to take the same. 
if he could have multiple wives, he respected the woman who had multiple husbands. In short Narayan hears a woman, not just sees her. 

And infact she is his power. Knowing Vishnu without knowing Vishnumaya is incomplete knowledge. 

Now this concept is hijacked post 15th century to suit patriarichaial bends. This is the time when brahminal hegemony starts in india. Where women are relegated to secondary role. It is followed by Muslim invasion and colonial rule and to be frank we never went back to that age old vedic concept that celebrated equality and coexistence. Culture of India devoid of religion is coexistence, respect of feminine and the sustenance of life. 

But alas we do not take the right things from the past, instead take the regressive beliefs. I am happy yesterday's episode really showed an empowered woman in true sense.
Hamlet53 thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
hello Shruti,πŸ˜ƒ  lovely to see you ..
Hammie a very  beautiful post. I do not have anything to add to your post. But your heading being seen and being heard I want to talk a few things about Indian culture, hope you dont mind. 
If you look through ages women were expected to be seen and not heard. But both the epics Ramayana and Mahabharatha brings out the leading ladies who are not seen but force the world to hear them. 
 yes so true... the saying holds very little absolute truth in it.. its stereotypical  view
Sita when she rejects the kingdom of Ayodhya and takes Bhoomipravesh she questions the entire society that put a question mark on her chastity. She is called Mahalakshmi but the end of Ramayana is Mahalakshmi rejecting the society that rejected her.
no put she draws attention and fights for her rights.. and Sita's was no small  attack, the question was about her virtue
  Here also Ayodhya escapes the full wrath of that pious woman because Ram never remarries and he never gives the place he had given to Sita in his heart to another woman. In short if Ram is sent through the fire which Sita went he will also come unscathed as he was loyal to his wife body, mind and soul. 
absolutely! fidelity has to be equally in both man in wife.. trust without doubt. in their  marriages Adi and Zoya had one-sided love/ fidelity..
Now comes Panchali, the woman who questions the entire kurusabha in the infamous hall of dice. But that sabha practices the rule women are seen not heard. They approve the worst adharma of disrobing a noble women. The society where men marry multiple times calls this woman a wh**e because she had 5 husbands. But Krishna comes for her. He shows the world she is not impure, she is not wh**e, she is a noble, pious lady.
its like  "let him cast the first stone who is without sin". see deities  in various faiths come not to bring peace, but to challenge immoral practices, thus stir up a storm
We treat both Ram and Krishna as Narayan. We need to understand Narayan practiced the same rule for himself, what he expected out of women in his life. If he expected Sita to pass AP, he too was willing to take the same. 
if he could have multiple wives, he respected the woman who had multiple husbands. In short Narayan hears a woman, not just sees her. 
its how it should be..  legislation, too picks up strands  from commonly practiced faith of the land
And infact she is his power. Knowing Vishnu without knowing Vishnumaya is incomplete knowledge. 
makes sense to me 
Now this concept is hijacked post 15th century to suit patriarichaial bends. This is the time when brahminal hegemony starts in india. Where women are relegated to secondary role. It is followed by Muslim invasion and colonial rule and to be frank we never went back to that age old vedic concept that celebrated equality and coexistence. Culture of India devoid of religion is coexistence, respect of feminine and the sustenance of life. 
its good to know about one's roots.. one can trace out how far one has moved along.. like you mention in your final comment , pick out the positive , to which I add, that fits in with  equal opportunities and celebrates diversity and gives rightful place in society  to women and the vulnerable..   
But alas we do not take the right things from the past, instead take the regressive beliefs. I am happy yesterday's episode really showed an empowered woman in true sense.
yes me to find it hard to swallow a weak,cowering female protagonist.. shruti,  thanks for all your precious feedback...   much love and many thanks hammie     

DreamOfEndless thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago