I woke up to the nightly breeze flowing through the window curtains, waltzing with the moonlight spread across the room. For some reason the night felt longer today. For some reason the night felt lonelier. The fluttering of that letter bought the sound of her voice. The very same letter which would join so many of its brothers and sisters, read and folded so many times, that I do not need to look at any of them to remember the written words and the unwritten longing.
There was no question of going back to sleep. I would wait for those first rays of the sun, hoping it would bring some brightness to my heart filled with despair. I switched on my tape player, for music was the only solace for my soul.
Faint strings of the melody bought the first memory of her, the very first time I had really looked at her.
Koi Saaya Jhilmilaya Raat ke phichele peher...
Phir Mujhe woh yaad aaya Raat ke phichele peher...
With each note, with each beat, my heart found companionship remembering those days when I had a shoulder to lean on. Each word bought back the love which had filled my days and my nights.
Bheegte Lamhe, Sulagti Raat, Aur Tanhayiyan...
Sabne Deewana Banaya, Raat ke phichele peher...
That touch of our hands, the comfort of her embrace, those passion filled kisses; everything is driving me crazy. I could somehow manage my thirst for her during the day, but how do I manage my lonely nights? I am drowning in her memories without any respite. I am waiting for the day when I will hold her again, when I will look into her eyes and find my home.
Humtoh Apne Aap hee se Guftagu karte rahe...
Haal-e-dil khudko sunaya, Raat ke phichele peher...
It is so ironic that, in this huge house filled with so many people, I found myself alone. There is no dearth of people to talk to, but I am silent in my agony. I talk to my dreams, I talk to my diaries, I talk to the moon, I talk to the stars, I talk to that plaster on my wall which is coming off, a mute symbol of the current state of my heart.
Jaate Jaate Ashq saari raat hee jaati rahi...
Aate Aate woh na aaya, Raat ke phichele peher...
The moisture in my eyes would not go away. Every night my pillow is drenched with the tears of longing, tears of unfulfilled desires, tears of joy her letters would bring. I wish I could see her just once, to make sure she is real, that she is still mine. I wish I could see her just once, to tell her that I am hers.
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