Chapter: 1
This is totally ridiculous!
From a whole hour Pragya is trying to talk with the man, and he is absolutely quiet! How the hell will she take the counseling process forward this way?
Her patient was sitting on the cot silently placing his eyes fixed on his toe; his one hand is kept idly beside him as it is attached with drip, and the other one is on his lap, without any movement from this whole long hour. His eyes have not moved for once, he hasn't looked at the face of her for a single time; it does not seem like a single word of Pragya's inspirational speech on the importance of life has entered in his ear. In which stage of acute depression human becomes a robot like this?
It has been not very long time since Pragya has started practicing. She is 26 years old now, a long way of experience in ahead still. But she has handled 2-3 cases of depression till now; this one is the most tough it seems! She took long breath to keep aside her disgust. Her patient needs help from her immediately. He needs to come out from the loop of depression, else he will again try to commit suicide... it's hard to get rid of the suicidal tendency if once it starts to work in mind.
Pragya again switched on the recorder and started. "So Mr. Rohan, let's talk about something else. Will not you introduce yourself to me?
No response from that side. But Pragya didn't lose patience. "Okay, let me tell about myself... I am Pragya Mukherjee. I have completed my PhyD on Psychology, and now practicing from 2 months. Along with that I am working on my research too. Though I am still a fresher, but still I love my job. She blinked. "And say about you now. I heard that you are an IT engineer, right?
As usual no response... Pragya sighed, and started recalling the case history of Rohan Sengupta.
Rohan Sengupta, age 27 years, was working at CTS from last 5 years with success. Three days ago he was found unconscious in his flat of Saltlake, with an empty strip of sleeping pills lolling aside. He was still breathing as the dosage was perhaps not sufficient enough to keep him asleep forever in one chance, and was taken immediately to the nearby private nursing-home. He is out of danger now, but from the moment of gaining consciousness to now he has not uttered a single word! The most probable reason of this decision was perhaps his sudden sacking from his job. His parents, who lives at Asansol and don't know much about their son's personal life, has accused his ex-girlfriend with whom he had a steady relationship of 2 years and suddenly broke up a week before, the day he lost his job. They are even thinking to launch an FIR in the name of the girl. It surprises Pragya- how can an adult person take such a horrendous step just as he has lost a mere job and a girl has ditched him... how complex a human brain is!
"Mr. Sengupta, I can understand the state of your mind. Pragya uttered in a serious tone. "But you cannot give up like this! Life is a gift of God... you cannot just leave to live only for the silly reasons like your company has sacked you or a girl whom you used to love did not love you! I understand these words seem to be empty advice this time; but truth is that you have to come out from this! There is a long life ahead of you! You cannot choose a permanent solution like giving up the life for some temporary problem!
A slight movement of his palm was caught in Pragya's eyes. Was it just a spontaneous movement of muscle or the impact of her words? Probably the first one! Still Pragya got a lot of energy from that, and started with double enthusiasm. "From outside it is very easy to lecture. But believe me, I am not here to advice you... I am here to help you out. I can predict in which condition you are going through now, and I can solve the problem if you allow me to peep in your mind and cooperate with me.
This time for sure it was the result of her ranting! He gulped for once and exhaled a deep sigh! Pragya's heart danced in joy, though she could not let that out. She looked at the lowered face of her patient once. Report says he is 27 but by his face he hardly looks more than 23-24. The hangover of teenage is yet to go away from his features. His face has all the signs that an educated, well-employed, successful higher-middle class young man should have. He is handsome as well, enough handsome to achieve a lot of drooling eyes of beautiful girls, and smart enough to conduct in corporate world- though she doubts his smartness in dealing with the problems of real life now. The torture to heath in these days has broken him, and that sign is reflecting in face, though it can be read from his pale vacant eyes that he was a charming persona once!
"Mr. Rohan, will you answer some of my questions now? In professional voice Pragya asked, and professionally held her patient's hand as she does for everyone. But she never has experienced such a strange response that she had to face today! Rohan, who was still keeping his eyes fixed a downwards, suddenly picked up his face and looked at Pragya's face with shocked eyes. His hand, which was in Pragya's hands, started shivering suddenly. His rate of breathing increased suddenly; then he snatched his hand from her grip and palmed on face, gasping badly.
"Mr... Mr. Rohan? Are you okay? Confused Pragya stood up and touched his shoulder. "Should I call the doctor?
Rohan looked at her with clumsy eyes; then in a chocked voice uttered- "Who... who are you!
"I... Pragya didn't know what to say! "I am Dr. Pragya Mukherjee. Psychologist and your counselor...I told you...
"Yes... but... but who... who...
He could not complete, suddenly fell down on the bed losing his consciousness. Pragya got tensed and called the doctor immediately. He started the check-up while Pragya kept standing with a confused face. How can it be possible? He fainted just by seeing her?
If this continues than Pragya can do nothing but drop the case. Rohan's father is already looking at her without blink. Must be thinking that what dangerous torture the beautiful doctor has done to his child! He is surely going to give an earful to his friend who has recommended Pragya's name for the counseling of his depressed son!
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"That's interesting, he fainted just by seeing your face? Dr. Sen started joking as usual. "Oh Dr. Pragya! How many boys' heart have you broken till date just by showing them your face?
"Don't laugh sir! Pragya smiled. "That was really ridiculous! I mean the way he responded... as if he got a 440 volt shock!
"Indeed he got! Why should not he? YOU touched him!
"Sir, it seems your screws are also getting loosed! Pragya laughed out. "Bring yourself out from those heavy medical journals and researches. Otherwise Boudi will face a lot of problems with her lunatic husband after a year!
"I was pulling your leg and you have also started? Good! The renowned parapsychologist cracked out in laughter. Mad- absolutely mad! Who will be able to guess this middle-aged man in one glimpse that he is Dr. Sujoy Sen, one of the great names in the field of parapsychology in India? Pragya is doing specialization under his guidance along with practicing normal counseling. She had no plan of doing so, but she was compelled to, when she listened to Dr. Sen's lecture on telepathy in her college days. Psychology was just a subject before coming to him, now it has become her passion. This half-mad man is an encyclopedia of human-psychology. In these years he has taken their relationship in a comfortable friendly-zone, he often pulls Pragya's leg and laughs out in laughter!
"No sir, seriously. What do you think... what reason would be there behind his behavior? Pragya asked after his laughter reduced the frequency!
"It can't be said just by hearing. This is a matter of case-study. Dr. Sen said. "He is under a severe mental pressure. This time human uses to act weird. This problem may stay permanently...
"You mean he is becoming fully insane due to the suppressed depression?
"Maybe... Or maybe he had some problem before. When the conscious mind clashes with subconscious... He looked thoughtful. "But no way of experimenting this way. Have you dropped down the case?
"I did nothing. But the doctor did not allow me. His BP is fluctuating and so this extra excitement is not good for him.
"Oh! Dr. Sen sipped the coffee. "However, if the problem continues after he gets well maybe his parents will call you again... Sad! Such a young man is attempting suicide due to depression of losing job!
"And girlfriend. Pragya smiled.
"Oh Yeah! What is the latest news of that girlfriend? You know anything?
"Poor girl, police is after her with the case of provocation of suicide! She smiled. "Now if the boyfriend suffers from suicidal tendency what the GF can do? She will have to stick behind him forever?
"That's cruel! Dr. Sen laughed. "And signaling danger too. He sharpened his eyes. "Are you having any problem with your handbag?
"You are really! Pragya smiled. "No problem... it's just he is pursuing for marriage before he settles down abroad.
"That's great; you will get much scopes of research there! he exclaimed. "But don't leave this coarse midway. I mean you may not get your preferable topic after this. Just say Nilesh to wait for at least 1 year, the day till the research paper ends you get the degree here...
"Yeah it's... Pragya stopped midway. How will she tell her mentor that her boyfriend uses to laugh at on her subject and field of research?
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The tearful hazel eyes of the lady were floating in front of eyes... her gray hairs, mark of experience on the face clearly shows that she has passed the age-limit of 60; but still her eyes, the doe-shaped eyes shining like a stream in moonlight, have the same enigma of youth that she had in her young days... She is coming closer... even more closer...
"I had to talk to you! Her voice could not hide the concern and agony under the shade of indifference anymore!
"You had to talk, that too with me? He smiled with a bent taunt in tone. "Perhaps it's the first time after our marriage you approached me! But why your face is so pale? Has anything happened again?
"I heard that you have ordered the royal architect to build... build your own mausoleum? her voice suddenly chocked by a cloud of gloom... "Why!
"Because, I don't want to leave any headache on your son after my death... He laughed. "Well, I know I will be treated all respectfully by him, but still, I want to do my last work on my own.
"But... her voice shivered... "Why? Why... why are you so in hurry to... and she stopped suddenly losing her words. He was silently staring at her, his heart was subsequently drowning in those tearful hazel eyes full of hidden concern and pain. "Have you anything more to say? His lips blurted out, while his heart had lost its way!
"You will be alright! Nothing will happen to you!
What else he could do other than laughing? "Hahhahh...
"You're laughing! She was controlling her tears.
"What to do! Perhaps for the first time in life I felt there was a true concern in your voice... for me...
"You are... She could not hold the drop of tear anymore... "...So cruel! Can't you understand anything!
"I do! But what to do my dear! He laughed sadly. "Sometimes it is not enough only to understand! Sometimes it is necessary to hear too, to proceed... I wish I could!! But too late... it is too late now!
She sat beside him, touched his hand and started sobbing... He picked up her chin and smiled. "Never mind! Remember I had taken vows for seven lives along with you? So what we could not say this time? I will come back to you again. And I will say! I can guaranty, I will find you from anywhere... I will recognize you! His voice trembled in an uncanny excitement.
She wiped her tears, took his hand and touched them with her lips; her touch radiated strange warmth, traveled through his veins, spread all over his body, his heart, his brain and... and...
...
Rohan jumped up from his sleep clutching his left-chest while palpating hard! The feeling of that soothing touch was still giving him goose-bump; his heartbeats had increased 2 times... someone is hammering inside his brain, tearing his head up! He again fell down on bed pouring the face in the pillow to reduce the pain, but it kept on increasing with the memories of the dream that he was having just now... like always!
Nightmares they are! The innocent dreams in the resplendent backgrounds have become the nightmares for him. It is not that they come in his sleep only. They stroke him every time, in morning, at daylight, in noon, in evening; they haunt him everywhere- be it in office, in an important meeting with clients, in coffee-shop with girlfriend, while hanging out with friends, chatting in WhatsApp... everywhere, every time, every moment they make him away from himself- from his own identity, own known world... He does not want to believe but it is true- they are just not some mere dreams- they come like flashback; as if they are some forgotten memory- that are directly connected with his heart, with his each and every particle of blood!
Who is that woman whom he sees? The beautiful intoxicating eyes in the perfectly created face, the melodious soft voice drowned in love and affection... who is she who comes in his dream, touches him, sooths him? She comes in various outfits- sometime in resplendent queenly attire- in lahenga-choli; sometimes in Muslim attire, with crown on head; sometimes in the dress of village girl, the outfit of tribes, and also in war-attire sometimes... Sometimes she becomes an enigmatic girl of mere 19-20 years overflowing with youth and sensuality; sometimes she becomes a mature woman of above 30- as pure and clear as a morning dew; sometimes a middle-aged of 45, full of motherhood in eyes and sometimes an old woman of 60, but as beautiful as before... the eyes never changes...
And who is he' in those memories? He cannot remember...cannot understand... just the sheer pain tears up his head! He loses his own identity, his own name... a strange inferiority complex of not knowing own entity kills him!
After bearing the pain for almost half-an hour in mum, at last he got up from his bed to have a glass of water. His head was spinning, legs were trembling. The weakness is yet to go off! He could not get out of the room, sat on the ground just in front of the door, pressing two sides of his head with fingers tightly. The suppressed sob was coming out from the gap of his lips... he cannot live this way! He is tired... they advised a lot regarding his sudden harsh decision to quit his life, but do they even know under which painful situation he had to take so many sleeping-pills in one go?
He picked up his face from his palms for once and rubbed the trace of tear immediately. His parents are still in Kolkata, they will become nervous if they see him again this way! He has done a lot of circus these days, has given too much headache to all, now he has to control himself... there is no way-out to get rid of this problem, and he have to practice to live with it!
Suddenly something blinked on his head. Yes, she told that she will help him!
Psychologist... What was the name of her? Yes, Pragya Mukherjee. Had come for his counseling for acute depression... she was telling plenty things, maximum had flown over his head, but he recalled a few of them... she was there to help him out from the loop. Maybe it was talked from a professional mind but still, she had a familiar comfort in voice... Anyhow he feels that she is the only one to cure him! He should consult with her once. Lots of neurologist, psychiatrist have failed, completed their work by prescribing him stress-reliever and sleeping pills... now why should he leave this chance!
But...
Again the uncanny feelings started overpowering his normal sense and he clasped his own hands... How will he ignore the fact that the eyes that he gets to see every moment in his vision, was the same that he witnessed that day in the bed of hospital, first time in real life, in the face of a stranger psychologist? Not only the eyes, but the feel of touch, the anxiousness of inside all was just the same! Is it even possible? What is happening with him nowadays!
"Rohan!
Rohan turned to look back. His mother was standing worriedly. "What happened my son? You are not sleeping! Why you are sitting on floor?
"Nothing Mom! He lied. "I was coming from bathroom and suddenly my head spun! I am alright now!
Mothers can never be relieved after hearing this! So happened with her mother, and after bearing a plenty of torture of affection and sentimental talks, at last he got to go back on bed!
"That Trina! I knew from first that she is after you only for the status and money you have! She took no time to leave you the moment you needed her most! His mother exclaimed in rage. "Just before three month of marriage! And here you are... she started sobbing while caressing his hairs. "Why you took back all the allegations against her?
"Mom! Rohan told with controlled disgust. "I told you that I want no more talks regarding this. I told you that we both have taken the decision together to break up the relation! And however she is no way responsible for my condition... How you people can launch FIR against her without any reason?
"Then tell me what is the reason? her sob increased. "Just as you lost a job you took such a step! Didn't even think about us? You will get plenty of jobs in future but what would have happened to us if we lost you?
"Mom... he held his mother's hand but could not utter anything. He never want to be lost but how would he make her understand that sometimes he automatically goes too far from them... he loses his identity that time, he forgets he has a mother, a father, a family, a lot of friends, a whole life- everything! He can feel from now that with increasing time he will lose his whole entity as Rohan Sengupta, slowly slowly!
He sighed and looked at her face. "Mom, can I get the address of the psychologist who had come in Hospital that day? I think I... He sighed again. "I seriously need her help!
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