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Brothers- A mahabharat fanfiction

livelyandlovely Groupbie
livelyandlovely
livelyandlovely

Joined: 18 August 2014
Posts: 120

Posted: 26 September 2017 at 2:45pm | IP Logged

Well guys those who have read my fan fictions before know that I am obsessed with the thought that if brothers of the Mahabharat have been united what would have been the scenario...I love writing emotional scenes and comedic ones. In this Karn takes a strong stance to unite his brothers.

Few alterations of story line:

  •          The kingdom was divided before marriage of the brothers marriage
  •          Duryodhan was insulted by Dasi in Indraprastha's coronation. He is angry because no one protested
  •          None of the brothers are married (Because I plan to have some comedy and love stories)

The story begins during Dyut sabha. Here is the trailor, update coming tomorrow...

Trailor: Yudhishthir loses Nakul, Sahadev and Arjun in Dyut. Nakul tells something defiant to Duryodhan. Duryodhan orders to get him whipped. "Bas Duryodhan Karn orders.

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JairamjiAnnasabu.KarnaNonie12345

Annasabu Goldie
Annasabu
Annasabu

Joined: 28 March 2015
Posts: 2188

Posted: 26 September 2017 at 10:23pm | IP Logged
HI dear
Welcome back to IF. Do not hesitate to bring out  your talent.
All the best

Love
Anna

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livelyandlovely

Nonie12345 IF-Rockerz
Nonie12345
Nonie12345

Joined: 18 October 2014
Posts: 8945

Posted: 26 September 2017 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
Fantastic concept TaniSmile
Nice trailerBig smile


Edited by Nonie12345 - 26 September 2017 at 10:46pm

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livelyandlovely

livelyandlovely Groupbie
livelyandlovely
livelyandlovely

Joined: 18 August 2014
Posts: 120

Posted: 11 October 2017 at 10:57am | IP Logged
I will be updating shortly...

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Nonie12345

livelyandlovely Groupbie
livelyandlovely
livelyandlovely

Joined: 18 August 2014
Posts: 120

Posted: 05 November 2017 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Chap 1
Kunti was stressed, she was cynical, snappy, irritable and stressed. It was a few days before the dyut sabha. Her sons will be arriving in a day or two, yet she couldn't be happy about that. The reason was, Duryodhan was happy about her sons arrival, he was kinda exited and this stressed her. If Duryodhan was happy about here the arrival of her sons it could only mean one thing that he was planning something evil. And a feeling in her said that if she didn't stop that from happening everything shall be destroyed. But how could she stop it. Just then Karna came across her in the corridor, he greeted her by bowing his head. She smiled back. It pained her how her eldest son was always helping Duryodhan torment her sons.

Gandhari was in her shrine trying to concentrate on praying, but there was a nagging feeling in her mind that was not allowing her to. Time and again she was boring bothered by the wrong path her son was treading deeper and deeper into day by day, bringing his own destruction upon himself. All because of her own brothers cynical thinking, of his want to destroy Hastinapur. But she felt powerless, for she couldn't stop her son. Only, only if Karna or Shakuni asked him to, he might stop. Shakuni would never do if she knew. But maybe Karn would make him realise that he was wrong, that even pandavas were his brothers...but why would Karna do that?

When Gandhari was deep in thoughts, Lungi on the other hand was making a decision. She could no more see Karna hurt his brothers. She decided to tell him. With this determination she headed towards the shrine room. She rushed to Gandhari and sat down beside her, close to tears. "Kya hua?" Gandhari asked her. " Mujhe aap se kuchh baat karni hai." She replied. And in that shrine room, in front of lord Shiva's idol, she told Gandhari everything. By the end of the story she was sobbing. Gandhari hugged and consoled her. "Tumne Jo bhi Kiya nadani mein Kiya Kunti." She said "par ab Karn Ka yeh adhijar Hai ki woh Sach jaane, ki wo suryaputra Hai. Agar ishwar ne chaha toh wohi humare putro ko milayega dekh na." Kunti closed her eyes.

A few hrs later, Karna was making his way to Kunti's room, unable think of why she was calling him. What he can in the room, he was surprised to find both Kunti and Gandhari there. He greeted both of them. Gandhari made him sit on the couch and after closing the door securely, Kunti again narrated the whole story of Karna's birth to Karn. Karn was shocked, pained and angered. But he remained calm on the surface. "Yah Satya main apni seene mein dabaye ghum rahi thhi putra." Kunti said. "Tum shayad mujhe Kabhi Mata nahi manoge. Aur Satya hi, tumor adhik adhikar Radha behen Ka hi hai, aur sadaiv rahe ga. Sach toh yeh Hai ki Mera tumpar koi adhikar nahi...par tumhare toh hai adhikar putra, apne pafichay pe, apne bhrataon pe parivar pe." Karn just stood there stunned. "Iske uparant tum Duryodhan Ka chayan karoge yaah yushishthir Ka yeh Main tumpar chhodti Hun" Gandhari said, "parantu tum sarv jyeshth ho, aur uchit Yahi hoga ki tum donon ki chunon. Par iss uchit anuchit ki deewar me hi yeh samasya kharidna ki Hai. Isiliye main kahungi, putra, tum wahi chunna Jo tumhare hriday kahe." Karna didn't reply anything, he just bowed to them and left. He walked out of the castle and walked aimlessly, reaching the banks of Ganga. It was quite and peaceful there. He sat down. He wanted to scream and shout, he wanted to be angry. But on whom, on Kunti, because she drowned him, but how could he, he understood that she had fallen prey to her own ignorance, and if she hadn't abandoned her, the society would killed him. She couldn't blame her, he couldn't, he just couldn't be angry on her. Why, why had fate played this cruel game with him.  He  was now at a point where he might have to kill  his own brothers. Tears rolled from his eyes. He wept and wept on his fate. Cool breeze blew on him lulling him to sleep.

In his dream, Karn saw a man, no a God, he was radiating power. He didn't speak, he just smiled and raised his hand in blessing, Karn felt as though his mind was bieng soothed. Suddenly he saw his childhood form, crying on a rock because Radha ma and scolded him. She then came picked him up wiped his tears, and said " kabhi Kabhi Baro ki Bura banna parts Hai, taki chhote sahi raste mein chal sake, Baro ke Katy vachan bhi bachchon ke liye pyaar hi hote Hain putra." Then he saw nothing. But only heard Gandhari, "uchit yahi ki tum donon ki chunon" and Kunti "Yushishthir aur Duryodhan donon tumhare bhrataon Hain putra" and radha's " kabhi Kabhi baron k Bura banna parts Hai." The voices grew louder and louder. And then again thatan with the radiating body appeared and smiled aknowing smile at him and placed a hand on his head. Karn woke up with a start. The sun was shining down at him. As though his father was smiling at his child. Karn realised that the man in his dream was his father. All his doubts were now cleared. He will unite his brothers, bring them on right path, even if it made him play the bad guy.

Ok guys here's my first update. I don't have my laptop here. So I am updating from my phn so pls bare with my typos. And please do read review and tell me how is, good, great, insane, intolerable, whatever you think. Chappal and tamatars all welcome. Pls pls do read and review.



Edited by livelyandlovely - 05 November 2017 at 2:06pm

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

Nonie12345.Karna

Nonie12345 IF-Rockerz
Nonie12345
Nonie12345

Joined: 18 October 2014
Posts: 8945

Posted: 05 November 2017 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
Awesome chapter TaniApprove
The dilemma of Kunti and Gandhari was very well portrayedStar
The conversation between kunti and Gandhari was niceSmile
The scene between Kunti,Gandhari and karna was heart touchingHeart
Karna's dream was wonderfulBig smile
Karna's decision is  rightThumbs Up


Edited by Nonie12345 - 06 November 2017 at 3:12am

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livelyandlovely.Karna

.Karna IF-Rockerz
.Karna
.Karna

Joined: 20 March 2016
Posts: 7168

Posted: 10 November 2017 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
It was superb ..well there were many typing mistakes ,because of AutoCorrect but its all right.
Honestly ,your writing skills are awesome but i was unable to connect to the story. Maybe because it seems quite unrealistic or i was expecting something else.
By the way ,you took a long period to post this, i hope you update the next part asap

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