PART-2 Mona Ki Shaadi in Bigg Boss House! (Fun Take)

** Apologies about the length of this one!

I realised if I write 2nd part and decide to conclude it in 3rd part, I might lose motivation and not end it at all! ☺️ Plus, if I do not finish the fictionary scenario before Mona gets married, it would lose half the charm any way!----So wrote it in one go flat and here it is:

DISCLAIMER: I wish Monalisa a very happy, blissful married life! I do understand a fun-take on something as pious and auspicious as a Marriage, can upset quite a few. Its just that I find this whole idea of staging marriages and honeymoons in a reality TV show pretty disgusting. 😕

In a way, it's the only way a satirist / caricaturist like me can register his own little protest to this draamebaazi-Nautanki in name of "Real Marriage on our TV Show"! 😛

For those who haven't checked out Part-1 of Mona Ki Shaadi In Bigg Boss House, the Link is:

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4786533

Ab AAGE:

BIGG BOSS RAAT 7.50 BAJE

BIGG BOSS: Abhi Abhi kuchh der pehle, Bigg Boss House mein, Gaurav Chopra ne Vikrant Singh Rajpoot Ban kar, Bigg Boss aur Duniya ko Dhokha dete hue, ----------Bani se jo Vivaah karne ka asafal prayaas kiya, --------Bigg Boss us prayaas ki kadi Ninda karte hain. ----------Jab bhi Bigg Boss kisi ka kuchh naa ukhaad sakne waali stithiti mein hote hain,---toh wo kadi Ninda karte hain!😡-------- Khair-----Abse thodi Der baad, Vikrant Singh Rajpoot ghar mein pravesh karenge, aur Monalisa ke saath, -------Pavitra Agni Ke chaaro ore saat phere le kar, Pavitra Vivaah ke bandhan mein bandh jaayenge!---Bigg Boss Monalisa aur Vikraant ko Ek Sau Ek Rupaye ka Lifafa aur Dher Saari Shubkaamnaayein Dete hain! 😉

Cam zooms to garden area and lo & behold! MANDAP, where Saat Pheras have to take place has been blessed by pious presence of Swami Om who is seen speaking to the rotating Canon zoom lens nearby! ⭐️

SWAMI OM: Bigg Boss aap hamesha mere Parmatma thhe aur rahenge! Salman Khan duniya ke greatest Hero Hain!-----Vikrant aur Mona Bitiya ke vivaah ko sampamn karne ki jo jimmedari aapne mujhe di hai, usne mujhko aap ka Saat Janam ka Rini bana Diya hai!---

MANVEER: Abe kya bol raha hai Launde tu?-😲--Abhi Bharti aayi thhi ghar mein. -------Wo toh bata rahi thhi tu har TV channel pe Salman Bhaai ki Maa-Behan kar riya hai aur Bigg Boss ke sir pe moot riya hai be!----Phir palti khaa gaya tu? 😲

SWAMI OM: Ye sab mere khilaaf jhootha prachaar hai! TV channel waale mujhe chaay-coffee mein drugs de dete hain aur phir jo mann mein aaye, anaap shanaap bulwaate hai---apni TRP badhwaane ke liye! 🤔

MANU: Charan aage kar galeech aadmi------tere Charan chhoo ke"Tere Paon kheench ke dhadaam se giraana hai tujhe!😡

BIGG BOSS RAAT 8.05 BAJE:

Band outside Bigg Boss House starts playing,"Le Jaayenge-Le Jaayenge, Dilwaale-Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge"🥳

Inside the house Lopa, Manveer, Manu start dancing but most wild dancing is being displayed by Mona herself in her Dulhan Lehenga outfit and with 50 kg of artificial jewelry on her! 

A few meters away, Bani is there watching these four with bewildered looks and a scorn of disgust stamped on her face. That hasn't stopped her from cleaning her plate that had 5 Boiled eggs  and four Paranthas a few minutes back!

House gate opens and enters Vikrant Singh Rajpoot. To ensure Gaurav doesn't make another Prithviraj Chauhan type attempt to sneak away with his Sanyogita called Bani Judge, this time Bigg Boss has only allowed Groom Pagdi with no frontal Sehra!⭐️

As soon as Vikrant enters, Lopa, Manu, Manveer, Rohan race to hug him. Incredibly though they had to cover only 37 meters to reach and hug Vikrant, Swami Om zooms off like a Sivakasi Fireworks made Murga Chhaap Diwali Rocket, beats the four by a full 26 Meters and hugs Vikrant with screams of,"Mera Beta Aa Gaya---Mera Beta Aa Gaya!"🤗

MANU-MANVEER (Chorus): Welcome hai Ji! Congratulations hai Bhaai!

VIKRANT: Thank you, Thank you! Abhi Baahar bahut bakwaas ho rahi thhi tarah tarah ki---Hum Soche ek full and final stop jaroori hai!---Isliye sweekar kar liye Bigg Boss ka prastaav! 😕

MANU: Hmm---Sahi hai!---Payment toh acchhi ki hogi Bigg Boss ne-----National TV pe shaadi ke liye!😛

VIRANT (Eyes pop out): 😲 Payment?---Arey humse liye hain 3 laakh---aur Mona ka family se 5 laakh!---Bole chhota sa banquet hall bhi 5 laakh leta hai kam se kam aaj kal----humaara Saadi toh inter-Nasional telekaast hoga bole!---8 Laakh liye hain poora! 😲

SWAMI OM: Manu-Manveer peechhe hato abhi---Muhoort ka Samay nikla jaa raha hai-------5 minute bhi deri kiye, toh Bikraant ka Kundali pe Rahu aur Ketu ka poorna prahaar hone ka yog hai! 

MANVEER: Abe Chal! Dhongi Baba--🤢---Tujhe maaloom hai 5 minute baad teri kundali mein likha hai tu baayein gaal pe jhaapad khaayega ek? Rahu-Ketu---hunhh

Swami Om storms to Camera of Prison side and starts crying in front of Cam there!

SWAMI OM (Sobbung and crying): Bigg Boss Shaadi ke shubh avsar pe  mera subah se upvaas hai, mujhe chakkar aa rahe hain!----Ye Gunde-Badmaash Manu-Manveer chaahte hain ki meri Hatya ho jaaye! -Aap mere Parmeshwar hain!---In dono ko Show se fauran nikaal phenkiye! 😭

Swami Om enters the Prison toilet.

For next three minutes cam mic registers and relays crunching-munching sounds from inside the toilet and it concludes with a loud burp of satisfaction. Om Swami comes out and incredibly, still retains the sad, beaten looks of a man on verge of dying!😕

BIGG BOSS RAAT 8.30 BAJE:

Mandap area has holy havan-fire in the middle and Om Swami is sitting by it's side muttering some unclear Mantras. 

Visibly excited Vikrant is sitting by his side and Om Swami commands,"Arey Dulhan ko le aayiye ab"!

Door on left side of house opens and a well powdered and heavily lipsticked Mona comes out in her marriage Lehenga.😳 Her left arm is held by Bani and right one by Lopa! 

Rohan walking  behind the three, is throwing raw rice for holy blessings on Mona but miraculously, most of it is landing on Lopa only! ☺️

Swami Om makes Mona sit with Vikrant  and ties them gently in the holy gath-bandhan and starts his holy Mantra chants"!

SWAMI OM: "Mangalam Salman Vishnu Mangalam Bigg Boss Dhwaja. Mangalam Vikrant-Mona, Mangalaya Tano Hari."

Pheras around the Holy fire start! Mona-Vikrant complete first round of Phera and Mona's face lifts up!------She gets startled as she notices Manu's face-Sad and blank expressions, looks of a man who has lost everything in life!😕

In panic Mona looks to her left and sees Manu wiping a tear that just trickled off his beautiful-expressive left eye!----Mona mutters,"Oh Bhagwaan", looks to right and sees Manu sinking to ground! Mona starts sobbing uncontrollably!

VIKRANT(Understanding nod & winks to Lopa): Paglee Emosional taaip hai!-----Bidaayi kaa Dookh se Ro rahi hai! 

Pheras resume! 

Mona's head is spinning fast! She is walking around the holy Havan-kund fire as if in a drugged state. Sometimes she is seeing Manu pleading with her,"Mona Please"Mera Doodh Ka Gilaas Jhootha Kar De Na Please!"------Sometimes she is seeing herself adoringly looking at Manu even as he is telling her how he sold Water filters and stacked one Bori with a Crore of Rupees in 2 years!

Mona starts crying aloud!😭

LOPA: Awww! She is so sweet!---Mona Ek din sabko In-laws ke ghar jaana padta hai-----woh"Sasuraal----Sasuraal!

BANI: Whats the big F*****g deal here babe?  ---Its not even your real home Bro----Go and have a ball babe! 😉

VIKRANT: Arey bahut hi emosional hai!-----Aath saal se jaante hain hum is ko----khaati kam"Roti jyaada hai! 

BANI (Goes Nasal in her cute Avatar): Meine Dekhaan MAIN---Dekhaan Meine!-----She Cries Bunket-loands of Tears MAIN------Bunket-Loands-----

OM SWAMI: Paanchwaa Phera Shuru Keejiye Vikrant-Mona------

BANI (Chameleon eyes rotation skills & Suspiciously): Om Ji----Ye jo aap ke haath mein Lota vessel hai, ---what are you sprinkling on them from it? 😲

OM SWAMI (Retorts): Peshaab nahin hai mera---Charna-Mrit Hai-------Tum Anda khaao andar jaa ke! 

Bani storms off the scene screaming aloud half a dozen BEEPS!

Fifth Phera starts, Mona lifts her tear soaked face and this time clearly sees Manu dressed as God in temple of her heart!

In her battle of  life, Mona is confused Arjuna no more! She now knows Manu is her RABB also and SABB also!

Beautiful melody of SABB NE BANA DI JODI, starring Monalisa and Manu Punjabi starts.

Play on the Video, listen to melody and read the parody lines-----You have to imagine Monalisa singing the parody lines please...!😊

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAVzDNc-L4g[/YOUTUBE]

Tu hi toh Mannu  mera, ------Tu hi Balmaa Humaar 
Tu hi toh Sajnaa Mera, ----Tu hi Future Humaar! 😳
Tu hi ankhion ka Meindhak, tu hi dil ka hai Bandar
Aur kuch na jaanoo mein, bas itna hi jaanoo------

TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
Joothha Doodh Karti Hoon,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon? 😕

Ohhh hooo ohh...

Kaisi Teri Gaadi? Ruppayon Ki Bori? 
Meri nazron Ne Sab Kuchh Gin Liya
Oh ho ho Kabhi teri Gudiyaa----
Kabhi teri gappein 😳
Bin maange Sab jahaan pa liya
Tu hi dil ka hai Meindhak,
Tu hi janmo ki daulat
Aur kuch na janoo
Bas itna hi janoo
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon? 😳

TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon? 😳

Gaadi Gaadi Gaadi! BMW Gaadi-------Bori Bori Bori! Ek Karod Ki Bori! ⭐️

SABB NE-----BANAA DI JODI-------HAAAYE 

Gaadi Gaadi Gaadi! BMW Gaadi-------Bori Bori Bori! Ek Karod Ki Bori! 👏

Lehraa Kea aye! Mujhe Tarsaaye!
Teri daadhi hai Chubh Ke Choomti 😳

Oh ho ho... tu  jo muskaaye
Tu jo sharmaaye
Jaise mera hai khuda jhoomta

Tu hi mera hai bandar, tu hi meri zaroorat
Aur kuch na janoo, bas itna hi janoo
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?😳

TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
Gilaas Pe Honth Lagta Hai
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?

Gaadi Gaadi Gaadi! BMW Gaadi-------Bori Bori Bori! Ek Karod Ki Bori!

SABB NE--------Bana Di Jodi--------HAAAYE!!!😕

OM SWAMI: Aap ke 6 Phere Sampoorna Hue!-----Ab Saatvaan aur Aakhiri Phera Leejiye------Aur Saat Janam ke lye Pati-Patni ke atoot Bandhan mein Bandh jaayiye!

Mona in her head hears a loud scream of Alka Yagnik: SABBB NE-------BANAA DI JODI-------HAAAYE! 😭---

-----Music of Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein- Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-----booms aloud in Mona's head---------She screams---Naheeen---------gets up with a jerk and snaps away the gathh-bandhan-----------She makes a dash for the compound wall and sees Manu is on top of the fence wall!

MANU (Screaming): Aaja Mona!-----Ye Manveer Neeche khada hai---is ke kandhe pe feet rakh apne-----Main kheenchta hoon tujhe----Bigg Boss ki Maa ki Aankh----apne ko kaunsa first prize money milna hai yahaan-----chal---apna sukhi sansaar banaayenge Jaipur  jaa ke!

Mona steps atop Manveer who helps her to climb on his shoulder!

MANVEER: O teri---Kaun si chakki ka khaati hai yaar------kandha toot gaya mera------Yaar Manu Bhai---Nitibha ko bhaga lete bhaai tum-----haaye!😲

MONA (Giggles): Abhi hansaao mat paagal----Gir gayi toh decision change ho sakta hai mera!😳

Manu pulls her up!

VIKRANT (rushes and reaches the wall): Manu Seth Acting acchhi karte ho bhaai, but Main bhi actor hoon---I am also one actor!

MANU: Actor tu hi hai Bhaai----hum kaahe ke actor?---😉-Hum toh jo dil mein aaye karte hain, Chhati thhok ke karte hain!-------Mona----Main doosri side kood raha hoon-----Ek baar neeche pahunch jaaun---phir tu kood jaana---ghabraana mat---kuchh nahin hone doonga tujhe----

MONA: Manu---Neeche pahunch ke Jaipur kaise jaayenge?😲

MANU: Sochne ka Department Mera hai yaar!-------Tension chhod de-------Wo Bharti aayi thhi naa? Us ko message diya thha---usne ghar pe bola! BMW ghar ke baahar hai-------Dheere Dheere pahunch hi jaayenge Jaipur ek Din baby---😉

MONA: Romantic long drive----wow-----so romantic---

MANU: Long drive?  😲OK---You can say that-----Main kood raha hoon!

Both Jump to other side and are outside the Bigg Boss House now!

Manu-Mona hug each other, regain their breath and Manu starts calling aloud!

MANU: BMW-----BMW------Chhh-Chhh-Chhh-Chhh---BMW---------BMW--------

Mona is looking at him bewildered just as a Donkey appears from the left side and slowly reaches both!

MANU (Patting & Kissing neck of Donkey): Aa jaa mera baccha!

MONA (Wide eyed): Ye----Ye-Ye---Ye kya hai? 😲

MANU: Ye hai mera BMW------Pollution free transport-----Petrol consume nahin karta----Fuel deta hai...Gobar gas----or Leed Gas rather hehehehe! 😆

MONA(Head spinning): Hey Bhagwaan!------Tum---Tum pehle kyun nahin bataaye Car nahin gadha hai tumhari BMW? 😲

MANU: Maine kabhi bola Car hai mere paas?  😡Ab tu khud kuchh bhi samajh le toh Manu Panjabi kya kar sakta hai? Waah! 😡

MONA: M--M--Mannu-----wo---tumhaare paas---ghar mein----Ek Karod hain naa? ---Bori mein?😲

MANU: Teri akal itni moti kyun hai yaar? -----Batayaa nahin thha Ranbir ne?---Sarkaar ne saare 500 aur 1000 ke note ban kar diye-----apne haathon se poori Bori jala ke aaya hoon---jab ghar se baahar gaya thha main----😡

MONA (Tears trickling down her face): Hum---Hum---Karenge kya Manu Jaipur Jaa ke?😲

MANU: Kya faaltoo ka question hai? -😡--Honeymoon---Honeymoon baby! Ek maheene tak-------us ke baad Mumbai---

MONA: M-m--Mumbai?----Wo kyun? 😲

MANU: Wo kyun matlab?---Tu Bhojpuri films ki star hai----tu kaam karegi------Jitna maine tujhko samjha hai---teri sabse badi problem hai Money management!---Manu Punjabi tujhe dikhaayega paise se paisa kaise banaaya jaata hai----⭐️--Main karoonga tere paise se humaari future planning----Investmenst baby investments! 👏

MONA (starts crying hysterically) Ohh Mere Bhagwaan------Booo-Hooo---Booo-Hooo-- 😭-Ye Maine kya kar Diya------Bigg Boss----Bigg Boss mujhe andar aane do please-------Vikrant mujhe maaf kar do!

BIGG BOSS: Mona"Aapne Bigg Boss ke ghar se faraar ho kar, Ghar ke sabse aham niyam ka ullanghan kiya hai!----Contract ki shart ke anusaar, Aap aur Manu Adaalti Kaaryavaahi ka saamna karenge aur dand swaroop 50 Lakh Rupayon ka bhugtaan karenge!

Inside Vikrant is crying hoarse!

VIKRANT (Crying aloud): Bigg Boss-----Humraa 8 Laakh waapas keejiye-----nahin toh humraa Saadi keejiye-------Abhi ke Abhi------😭

SWAMI OM: Main hamesha se kehta thha Manu-Manveer Dusht-Gunde-Badmaas hain aur Mona , Manu ki vaastavik Premika hain!---Bigg Boss----Bikraant ko insaaf dilaayiye, nahin toh main aapke poore ghar mein Mootra Visarjan kar doonga! 

BIGG BOSS: Vikrant, Bigg Boss is paristhiti mein majboor hain!------Lekin agar Bani, ya Lopamudra aapse Vivaah karne ko taiyyar ho jaayein------toh Bigg Boss ko behad khushi Hogi!

BANI: Marriage with this Chhuchhondar?---No way Bro--------Apne ko nahin karni ye convenience ki marriage!---Get lost and scoot off Bro! Yo! 

Lopamudra is visibly in turmoil. 

On one hand she doesn't want to get married to Vikrant obviously but on other hand, her Antaraatma is asking her to take a STAND for a man who has lost his love for no fault of his. 😕

A long deafening silence follows and finally, Lopa has made up her mind. She goes inside, brings her Beauty pageant crown, puts it on her head and begins her speech!

LOPA (Grinning ear to ear): Peace, Love, Compassion and Understanding -these values are eternal! On this occasion, more than ever before my heart goes to Mother Teresa, who worked for the upliftment of poor, downtrodden, wretched ones!---Thank you Bigg Boss, Thank you Salman Ji-------- for giving me this opportunity to help and uplift this poor soul Vikrant. ---I wish to thank my mom, dad, sister. My Lhasa Apso Dog Bruno"hehehe------As I marry Vikrant today, I urge all the beautiful girls like me, to take a more compassionate view of beaten, lost and hopeless men around them! Even if each girl accepts one downtrodden, rejected man, this world will be so full of love and air we breathe will be filled up with hope, love and compassion! 😳❤️

Pheras of Lopa-Vikrant start around the holy fire  even as Swami Om starts the chant of his holy mantras'!

SWAMI OM: "Mangalam Salman Vishnu Mangalam Bigg Boss Dhwaja
Mangalam Vikrant-Lopa, Mangalaya Tano Hari."🤗

Originally posted by: -Cruiser-

Ab AAGE:

BIGG BOSS RAAT 7.50 BAJE

BIGG BOSS: Jab bhi Bigg Boss kisi ka kuchh naa ukhaad sakne waali stithiti mein hote hain,---toh wo kadi Ninda karte hain!😡

Swami Om zooms off like a Sivakasi Fireworks made Murga Chhaap Diwali Rocket, beats the four by a full 26 Meters and hugs Vikrant with screams of,"Mera Beta Aa Gaya---Mera Beta Aa Gaya!"🤗

VIKRANT: Thank you, Thank you! Abhi Baahar bahut bakwaas ho rahi thhi tarah tarah ki---Hum Soche ek full and final stop jaroori hai!---Isliye sweekar kar liye Bigg Boss ka prastaav! 😕

VIRANT (Eyes pop out): 😲 -8 Laakh liye hain poora! 😲

SWAMI OM: 5 minute bhi deri kiye, toh Bikraant ka Kundali pe Rahu aur Ketu ka poorna prahaar hone ka yog hai! 

MANVEER: Abe Chal! Dhongi Baba--🤢---Tujhe maaloom hai 5 minute baad teri kundali mein likha hai tu baayein gaal pe jhaapad khaayega ek? Rahu-Ketu---hunhh

🤣 I read in next break...!! but so far awesome 

Originally posted by: Luna46

Oh My God,🤣

This is amazing, the song part was hilarious, and Lopa's speech, 🤣🤣🤣

The shocking twist was Vikrant marrying Lopa.

 I think this was your funniest post.

Originally posted by: -Cruiser-

Dear lord... am having a tummy ache laughing! 🤣🤣🤣

Sooo funny and witty! This should be laminated and posted on the walls of Bigg Boss house in the upcoming seasons to come! 🤣

DISCLAIMER: I wish Monalisa a very happy, blissful married life! I do understand a fun-take on something as pious and auspicious as a Marriage, can upset quite a few. Its just that I find this whole idea of staging marriages and honeymoons in a reality TV show pretty disgusting. 😕

In a way, it's the only way a satirist / caricaturist like me can register his own little protest to this draamebaazi-Nautanki in name of "Real Marriage on our TV Show"! 😛

For those who haven't checked out Part-1 of Mona Ki Shaadi In Bigg Boss House, the Link is:

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4786533

Ab AAGE:

BIGG BOSS RAAT 7.50 BAJE

BIGG BOSS: Abhi Abhi kuchh der pehle, Bigg Boss House mein, Gaurav Chopra ne Vikrant Singh Rajpoot Ban kar, Bigg Boss aur Duniya ko Dhokha dete hue, ----------Bani se jo Vivaah karne ka asafal prayaas kiya, --------Bigg Boss us prayaas ki kadi Ninda karte hain. ----------Jab bhi Bigg Boss kisi ka kuchh naa ukhaad sakne waali stithiti mein hote hain,---toh wo kadi Ninda karte hain!😡-------- Khair-----Abse thodi Der baad, Vikrant Singh Rajpoot ghar mein pravesh karenge, aur Monalisa ke saath, -------Pavitra Agni Ke chaaro ore saat phere le kar, Pavitra Vivaah ke bandhan mein bandh jaayenge!---Bigg Boss Monalisa aur Vikraant ko Ek Sau Ek Rupaye ka Lifafa aur Dher Saari Shubkaamnaayein Dete hain! 😉

Cam zooms to garden area and lo & behold! MANDAP, where Saat Pheras have to take place has been blessed by pious presence of Swami Om who is seen speaking to the rotating Canon zoom lens nearby! ⭐️

SWAMI OM: Bigg Boss aap hamesha mere Parmatma thhe aur rahenge! Salman Khan duniya ke greatest Hero Hain!-----Vikrant aur Mona Bitiya ke vivaah ko sampamn karne ki jo jimmedari aapne mujhe di hai, usne mujhko aap ka Saat Janam ka Rini bana Diya hai!---

MANVEER: Abe kya bol raha hai Launde tu?-😲--Abhi Bharti aayi thhi ghar mein. -------Wo toh bata rahi thhi tu har TV channel pe Salman Bhaai ki Maa-Behan kar riya hai aur Bigg Boss ke sir pe moot riya hai be!----Phir palti khaa gaya tu? 😲

SWAMI OM: Ye sab mere khilaaf jhootha prachaar hai! TV channel waale mujhe chaay-coffee mein drugs de dete hain aur phir jo mann mein aaye, anaap shanaap bulwaate hai---apni TRP badhwaane ke liye! 🤔

MANU: Charan aage kar galeech aadmi------tere Charan chhoo ke"Tere Paon kheench ke dhadaam se giraana hai tujhe!😡

BIGG BOSS RAAT 8.05 BAJE:

Band outside Bigg Boss House starts playing,"Le Jaayenge-Le Jaayenge, Dilwaale-Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge"🥳

Inside the house Lopa, Manveer, Manu start dancing but most wild dancing is being displayed by Mona herself in her Dulhan Lehenga outfit and with 50 kg of artificial jewelry on her! 

A few meters away, Bani is there watching these four with bewildered looks and a scorn of disgust stamped on her face. That hasn't stopped her from cleaning her plate that had 5 Boiled eggs  and four Paranthas a few minutes back!

House gate opens and enters Vikrant Singh Rajpoot. To ensure Gaurav doesn't make another Prithviraj Chauhan type attempt to sneak away with his Sanyogita called Bani Judge, this time Bigg Boss has only allowed Groom Pagdi with no frontal Sehra!⭐️

As soon as Vikrant enters, Lopa, Manu, Manveer, Rohan race to hug him. Incredibly though they had to cover only 37 meters to reach and hug Vikrant, Swami Om zooms off like a Sivakasi Fireworks made Murga Chhaap Diwali Rocket, beats the four by a full 26 Meters and hugs Vikrant with screams of,"Mera Beta Aa Gaya---Mera Beta Aa Gaya!"🤗

MANU-MANVEER (Chorus): Welcome hai Ji! Congratulations hai Bhaai!

VIKRANT: Thank you, Thank you! Abhi Baahar bahut bakwaas ho rahi thhi tarah tarah ki---Hum Soche ek full and final stop jaroori hai!---Isliye sweekar kar liye Bigg Boss ka prastaav! 😕

MANU: Hmm---Sahi hai!---Payment toh acchhi ki hogi Bigg Boss ne-----National TV pe shaadi ke liye!😛

VIRANT (Eyes pop out): 😲 Payment?---Arey humse liye hain 3 laakh---aur Mona ka family se 5 laakh!---Bole chhota sa banquet hall bhi 5 laakh leta hai kam se kam aaj kal----humaara Saadi toh inter-Nasional telekaast hoga bole!---8 Laakh liye hain poora! 😲

SWAMI OM: Manu-Manveer peechhe hato abhi---Muhoort ka Samay nikla jaa raha hai-------5 minute bhi deri kiye, toh Bikraant ka Kundali pe Rahu aur Ketu ka poorna prahaar hone ka yog hai! 

MANVEER: Abe Chal! Dhongi Baba--🤢---Tujhe maaloom hai 5 minute baad teri kundali mein likha hai tu baayein gaal pe jhaapad khaayega ek? Rahu-Ketu---hunhh

Swami Om storms to Camera of Prison side and starts crying in front of Cam there!

SWAMI OM (Sobbung and crying): Bigg Boss Shaadi ke shubh avsar pe  mera subah se upvaas hai, mujhe chakkar aa rahe hain!----Ye Gunde-Badmaash Manu-Manveer chaahte hain ki meri Hatya ho jaaye! -Aap mere Parmeshwar hain!---In dono ko Show se fauran nikaal phenkiye! 😭

Swami Om enters the Prison toilet.

For next three minutes cam mic registers and relays crunching-munching sounds from inside the toilet and it concludes with a loud burp of satisfaction. Om Swami comes out and incredibly, still retains the sad, beaten looks of a man on verge of dying!😕

BIGG BOSS RAAT 8.30 BAJE:

Mandap area has holy havan-fire in the middle and Om Swami is sitting by it's side muttering some unclear Mantras. 

Visibly excited Vikrant is sitting by his side and Om Swami commands,"Arey Dulhan ko le aayiye ab"!

Door on left side of house opens and a well powdered and heavily lipsticked Mona comes out in her marriage Lehenga.😳 Her left arm is held by Bani and right one by Lopa! 

Rohan walking  behind the three, is throwing raw rice for holy blessings on Mona but miraculously, most of it is landing on Lopa only! ☺️

Swami Om makes Mona sit with Vikrant  and ties them gently in the holy gath-bandhan and starts his holy Mantra chants"!

SWAMI OM: "Mangalam Salman Vishnu Mangalam Bigg Boss Dhwaja. Mangalam Vikrant-Mona, Mangalaya Tano Hari."

Pheras around the Holy fire start! Mona-Vikrant complete first round of Phera and Mona's face lifts up!------She gets startled as she notices Manu's face-Sad and blank expressions, looks of a man who has lost everything in life!😕

In panic Mona looks to her left and sees Manu wiping a tear that just trickled off his beautiful-expressive left eye!----Mona mutters,"Oh Bhagwaan", looks to right and sees Manu sinking to ground! Mona starts sobbing uncontrollably!

VIKRANT(Understanding nod & winks to Lopa): Paglee Emosional taaip hai!-----Bidaayi kaa Dookh se Ro rahi hai! 

Pheras resume! 

Mona's head is spinning fast! She is walking around the holy Havan-kund fire as if in a drugged state. Sometimes she is seeing Manu pleading with her,"Mona Please"Mera Doodh Ka Gilaas Jhootha Kar De Na Please!"------Sometimes she is seeing herself adoringly looking at Manu even as he is telling her how he sold Water filters and stacked one Bori with a Crore of Rupees in 2 years!

Mona starts crying aloud!😭

LOPA: Awww! She is so sweet!---Mona Ek din sabko In-laws ke ghar jaana padta hai-----woh"Sasuraal----Sasuraal!

BANI: Whats the bug F*****g deal here babe? ---Its not even your real home Bro----Go and have a ball babe! 😉

VIKRANT: Arey bahut hi emosional hai!-----Aath saal se jaante hain hum is ko----khaati kam"Roti jyaada hai! 

BANI (Goes Nasal in her cute Avatar): Meine Dekhaan MAIN---Dekhaan Meine!-----She Cries Bunket-loands of Tears MAIN------Bunket-Loands-----

OM SWAMI: Paanchwaa Phera Shuru Keejiye Vikrant-Mona------

BANI (Chameleon eyes rotation skills & Suspiciously): Om Ji----Ye jo aap ke haath mein Lota vessel hai, ---what are you sprinkling on them from it? 😲

OM SWAMI (Retorts): Peshaab nahin hai mera---Charna-Mrit Hai-------Tum Anda khaao andar jaa ke! 

Bani storms off the scene muttering half a dozen BEEPS!

Fifth Phera starts, Mona lifts her tear soaked face and this time clearly sees Manu dressed as God in temple of her heart!

In her battle of  life, Mona is confused Arjuna no more! She now knows Manu is her RABB also and SABB also!

Beautiful melody of SABB NE BANA DI JODI, starring Monalisa and Manu Punjabi starts.

Play on the Video, listen to melody and read the parody lines-----You have to imagine Monalisa singing the parody lines please...!😊

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAVzDNc-L4g[/YOUTUBE]

Tu hi toh Mannu  mera, ------Tu hi Balmaa Humaar 
Tu hi toh Sajnaa Mera, ----Tu hi Future Humaar! 😳
Tu hi ankhion ka Meindhak, tu hi dil ka hai Bandar
Aur kuch na jaanoo mein, bas itna hi jaanoo------

TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
Joothha Doodh Karti Hoon,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon? 😕

Ohhh hooo ohh...

Kaisi Teri Gaadi? Ruppayon Ki Bori? 
Meri nazron Ne Sab Kuchh Gin Liya
Oh ho ho Kabhi teri Gudiyaa----
Kabhi teri gappein 😳
Bin maange Sab jahaan pa liya
Tu hi dil ka hai Meindhak,
Tu hi janmo ki daulat
Aur kuch na janoo
Bas itna hi janoo
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon? 😳

TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon? 😳

Gaadi Gaadi Gaadi! BMW Gaadi-------Bori Bori Bori! Ek Karod Ki Bori! ⭐️

SABB NE-----BANAA DI JODI-------HAAAYE 

Gaadi Gaadi Gaadi! BMW Gaadi-------Bori Bori Bori! Ek Karod Ki Bori! 👏

Lehraa Kea aye! Mujhe Tarsaaye!
Teri daadhi hai Chubh Ke Choomti 😳

Oh ho ho... tu  jo muskaaye
Tu jo sharmaaye
Jaise mera hai khuda jhoomta

Tu hi mera hai bandar, tu hi meri zaroorat
Aur kuch na janoo, bas itna hi janoo
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?😳

TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?
Gilaas Pe Honth Lagta Hai
Mannu mein kya karoon?
TUJH MEIN SABB DIKHTA HAI,
Mannu mein kya karoon?

Gaadi Gaadi Gaadi! BMW Gaadi-------Bori Bori Bori! Ek Karod Ki Bori!

SABB NE--------Bana Di Jodi--------HAAAYE!!!😕

OM SWAMI: Aap ke 6 Phere Sampoorna Hue!-----Ab Saatvaan aur Aakhiri Phera Leejiye------Aur Saat Janam ke lye Pati-Patni ke atoot Bandhan mein Bandh jaayiye!

Mona in her head hears a loud scream of Alka Yagnik: SABBB NE-------BANAA DI JODI-------HAAAYE! 😭---

-----Music of Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein- Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-Dhein-----booms aloud in Mona's head---------She screams---Naheeen---------gets up with a jerk and snaps away the gathh-bandhan-----------She makes a dash for the compound wall and sees Manu is on top of the fence wall!

MANU (Screaming): Aaja Mona!-----Ye Manveer Neeche khada hai---is ke kandhe pe feet rakh apne-----Main kheenchta hoon tujhe----Bigg Boss ki Maa ki Aankh----apne ko kaunsa first prize money milna hai yahaan-----chal---apna sukhi sansaar banaayenge Jaipur  jaa ke!

Mona steps atop Manveer who helps her to climb on his shoulder!

MANVEER: O teri---Kaun si chakki ka khaati hai yaar------kandha toot gaya mera------Yaar Manu Bhai---Nitibha ko bhaga lete bhaai tum-----haaye!😲

MONA (Giggles): Abhi hansaao mat----Gir gayi toh decision change ho sakta hai mera!😳

Manu pulls her up!

VIKRANT (rushes and reaches the wall): Manu Seth Acting acchhi karte ho bhaai, but Main bhi actor hoon---I am also one actor!

MANU: Actor tu hi hai Bhaai----hum kaahe ke actor?---😉-Hum toh jo dil mein aaye karte hain, Chhati thhok ke karte hain!-------Mona----Main doosri side kood raha hoon-----Ek baar neeche pahunch jaaun---phir tu kood jaana---ghabraana mat---kuchh nahin hone doonga tujhe----

MONA: Manu---Neeche pahunch ke Jaipur kaise jaayenge?😲

MANU: Sochne ka Department Mera hai yaar!-------Tension chhod de-------Wo Bharti aayi thhi naa? Us ko message diya thha---usne ghar pe bola! BMW ghar ke baahar hai-------Dheere Dheere pahunch hi jaayenge Jaipur ek Din baby---😉

MONA: Romantic long drive----wow-----so romantic---

MANU: Long drive?  😲OK---You can say that-----Main kood raha hoon!

Both Jump to other side and are outside the Bigg Boss House now!

Manu-Mona hug each other, regain their beath and Manu starts calling aloud!

MANU: BMW-----BMW------Chhh-Chhh-Chhh-Chhh---BMW---------BMW--------

Mona is looking at him bewildered just as a Donkey appears from the left side and slowly reaches both!

MANU (Patting & Kissing neck of Donkey): Aa jaa mera baccha!

MONA (Wide eyed): Ye"Ye---Ye kya hai? 😲

MANU: Ye hai mera BMW------Pollution free transport-----Petrol consume nahin karta----Fuel deta hai...Gobar gas----or Leed Gas rather hehehehe! 😆

MONA(Head spinning): Hey Bhagwaan!------Tum---Tum pehle kyun nahin bataaye Car nahin gadha hai tumhari BMW? 😲

MANU: Maine kabhi bola Car hai mere paas?  😡Ab tu khud kuchh bhi samajh le toh Manu Panjabi kya kar sakta hai? Waah! 😡

MONA: M"M"Mannu-----wo---tumhaare paas---ghar mein----Ek Karod hain naa? ---Bori mein?😲

MANU: Teri akal itni moti kyun hai yaar? -----Batayaa nahin thha Ranbir ne?---Sarkaar ne saare 500 aur 1000 ke note ban kar diye-----apne haathon se poori Bori jala ke aaya hoon---jab ghar se baahar gaya thha main----😡

MONA (Tears trickling down her face): Hum---Hum---Karenge kya Manu Jaipur Jaa ke?

MANU: Kya faaltoo ka question hai? -😡--Honeymoon---Honeymoon baby! Ek maheene tak-------us ke baad Mumbai---

MONA: M-m"Mumbai?"Wo kyun? 😲

MANU: Wo kyun matlab?---Tu Bhojpuri films ki star hai----tu kaam karegi------Jitna maine tujhko samjha hai---teri sabse badi problem hai Money management!---Manu Punjabi tujhe dikhaayega paise se paisa kaise banaaya jaata hai----⭐️--Main karoonga tere paise se humaari future planning----Investmenst baby investments! 👏

MONA (starts crying hysterically) Ohh Mere Bhagwaan------Booo-Hooo---Booo-Hooo-- 😭-Ye Maine kya kar Diya------Bigg Boss----Bigg Boss mujhe andar aane do please-------Vikrant mujhe maaf kar do!

BIGG BOSS: Mona"Aapne Bigg Boss ke ghar se faraar ho kar, Ghar ke sabse aham niyam ka ullanghan kiya hai!----Contract ki shart ke anusaar, Aap aur Manu Adaalti Kaaryavaahi ka saamna karenge aur dand swaroop 50 Lakh Rupayon ka bhugtaan karenge!

Inside Vikrant is crying hoarse!

VIKRANT (Crying aloud): Bigg Boss-----Humraa 8 Laakh waapas keejiye-----nahin toh humraa Saadi keejiye----😭

SWAMI OM: Main hamesha se kehta thha Manu-Manveer Gunde-Badmaas hain aur Mona , Manu ki vaastavik Premika hain!---Bigg Boss----Bikraant ko insaaf dilaayiye, nahin toh main aapke poore ghar mein Mootra Visarjan kar doonga! 

BIGG BOSS: Vikrant, Bigg Boss is paristhiti mein majboor hain!------Lekin agar Bani, ya Lopamudra aapse Vivaah karne ko taiyyar ho jaayein------toh Bigg Boss ko behad khushi Hogi!

BANI: Marriage with this Chhuchhondar?---No way Bro--------Apne ko nahin karni ye convenience ki marriage!---Get lost and scoot off Bro! Yo! 

Lopamudra is visibly in turmoil. 

On one hand she doesn't want to get married to Vikrant obviously but on other hand, her Antaraatma is asking her to take a STAND for a man who has lost his love for no fault of his. 😕

A long deafening silence follows and finally, Lopa has made up her mind. She goes inside, brings her Beauty pageant crown, puts it on her head and begins her speech!

LOPA: Peace, Love, Compassion and Understanding -these values are eternal! On this occasion, more than ever before my heart goes to Mother Teresa, who worked for the upliftment of poor, downtrodden, wretched ones!---Thank you Bigg Boss, Thank you Salman Ji-------- for giving me this opportunity to help and uplift this poor soul Vikrant. ---I wish to thank my mom, dad, sister. My Lhasa Apso Dog Bruno"hehehe------As I marry Vikrant today, I urge all the beautiful girls like me, to take a more compassionate view of beaten, lost and hopeless men around them! Even if each girl accepts one downtrodden, rejected man, this world will be so full of love and air we breathe will be filled up with hope, love and compassion! 😳❤️

Pheras of Lopa-Vikrant start around the holy fire  even as Swami Om starts the chant of his holy mantras'!

 SWAMI OM: "Mangalam Salman Vishnu Mangalam Bigg Boss Dhwaja
Mangalam Vikrant-Lopa, Mangalaya Tano Hari."🤗