CHAPTER FOUR
As promised to herself
Twinkle refrained from attending college the next day. She woke up when the sun
was high in the sky and to a text from Kunj which she reasonably ignored. She
rolled out of bed only to take a shower and grab a cup of yogurt and some
sliced fruits for breakfast before rolling right back in bed, and putting on
her Comfort' movies. She carelessly balanced the tray of food on her legs and
occasionally threw the pits of various fruits on the screen of her Television
whenever the Male lead of the movie remained oblivious to the affections of the
Female Lead's. Boys were Stupid' she concluded as the second movie drew to its
end.
Kunj had called her
five times and left sixteen texts in that time period.
Her heart did flutter
a little harder every time her mobile pinged with his name flashing across the
screen. She entertained the thought that maybe he had something important to
tell her, something to do with colors suddenly creeping up his field of vision
and the likes. And she held her phone dearly to her chest, close to answering
his messages but then her ever obnoxious mind would betray her somersaulting
heart with rationality. Kunj would never declare becoming Iridescent' to her
over the phone, especially if she was his Soulmate. So she lets out a
disappointed sigh every time he texted, probably wanted to know the reason of
her absence and if she wanted him to take notes on his behave and also asking
about the room number to their classes because he was hopelessly lost without
her to guide him through the campus. Boys are stupid!' it was proved.
By the fifth movie she
had her mind sufficiently distracted from the events of the previous. To
Twinkle now, this was just another sick day. She had the company of her little
teddy bear, a soft comforter engulfing her petite frame, the AC on full blast
mode and a feel good movie on play. All she needed more was a bowl of caramel
popcorn and maybe a strong cup of Masala Tea. That was what bliss felt like.
But all good things
come to an end, and Twinkle's safe haven against her tumultuous love-life was
shattered by the very arrival of her love. "Madam aaj college kyu nahi aayi?"
He enters her room like he owned it, takes off his shoes and plops down next to
her on the bed.
She finds it difficult
to meet his gaze for some reason, her heart hammering in her chest, and sudden
beads of perspiration make their way down her spine while a row of goose bumps
race down her limbs. She says silent for a few seconds, trying to formulate a
good enough lie. "Meri tabiyat theek nahi thi. Sar bahut bari sa lag raha tha."
She tells him, eyes glued to the screen.
His eyes were boring
into her soul and she knew that he didn't buy her lies. "Jhooti! Test ke liya
padha nahi na?" He lets out a chuckle at the end. This was Typically Twinkle.
She would often forget about the tests and then stay at home feigning a tummy
or head ache to avoid writing it. He was absolutely sure that she would never
grow out of this reason, no matter how old and futile the excuse was.
She ducks her head
down, embarrassed, "Tum mujhe kitne ache se jaante ho."
"Aur nahi toh, main
apni best friend ko nahi jaanuga toh kya baazu wali ki best friend ko jaanuga!
Tu na ek dum Jhalli hai." with that he
gives her a little smack on the back of her head. And she knows, with shattering
clarity that they weren't meant to be.
It knocks the breath
out of her, and her heart takes a fall to the pits of her stomach. The hollow
cavity where her heart was supposed to be was now filled with a weight of an
iron anchor. Her brain buzzes with white static noise and her throat closes up.
THEY WERENT MEANT TO BE...
THEY WERENT MEANT TO
BE!
After all the love she
had harbored and hid for him in every crevice of her heart, they weren't to be.
What did she do
wrong?! Why?!
She realizes she was
holding her breath when she hears Kunj commenting about how this was the
umpteenth time that she was watching the movie and she yet got emotional over
that scene. He casually puts a comforting arm around her shoulder.
The dam breaks and
floods of tears usher down her lashes. She heaves heavy sobs and automatically,
almost like it was programmed in her being, she buries her face in the crook of
his neck and cries.
She knows he thinks
that she is crying over the movie like she had many number of times previously
and it is alright. It is alright. ITS ALRIGHT!
She is in his arms and
it is all alright.
"Twinkle..." He sighs.
"Picture hi toh hai. It's not real!" he comforts her, stroking her hair.
Oh but it was real to
her now. She wasn't his soulmate.
She had always dreamt
how it would be like being Iridescent'. How she would with her Soulmate admire
each other, take a walk through the park and just let their breaths be taken
away by the sheer beauty of colors. She dreamt of how they both would take
classes together and learn the name of every color that hey now could see.
But reality
was-different. Completely and irreversibly different.
And as she calmed
herself down with the passing minutes spent in his embrace she decides that she
could never let him know that he was her soulmate. She needed to spare him the
pain and she needed to save herself from his pity.
So that night, after
Kunj takes his leave, Twinkle decides that she would pretend like she was
Un-Iridescent. For his sake and hers. It feels stifling and she can hardly
breath through her tears but this was what was best for the both of them.
Morning rolled around
with Twinkle yet again being in no mood to attend college. She reasons that she
just had her heart broken and shattered and cut into little pieces like
confetti, so she could take another day off. She deserved a holiday. Away from
her best friend.
Best friend, she never
thought that the word could turn so bittersweet in just a matter of days.
She quickly texts
Kunj, letting him know that she wouldn't be attending college that day too as
she had to accompany her mother somewhere. Kunj gave a prompt reply, telling her
he could scribble down Economics notes for her, that she owed him for this, and
if she is going near Shake Shack' then to get him his favorite milkshake. She
promises him she would and falls back down on bed.
Her mind was in a
blur, she had no interest in wasting away another day with Rom-Com movies, nor
did she want to wallow in self-pity anymore. But that being said, she didn't
want to go all out, be her happy chirpy self and pretend that everything was
A-okay.
Maybe she should nap
for another one or two hours possibly.
Fate however wasn't in
her favor, she decides as Leela knocks on her door and lets herself in. "Chal
Puttar taiyaar ho ja." Leela says.
Twinkle groans as
Leela pulls back the curtains in her room. Harsh sunlight enters her room,
enveloping it in its warmth. Twinkle digs her head under a pillow. "Kaha aur
Kyu?"
"It's a surprise and
kyuki maine kaha isliye."
Twinkle couldn't
possibly argue further when her Mom pulls back her covers and gives her an
un-amused look. Of course Twinkle reciprocates it by sticking out her tongue,
to which Leela answers by putting her hand against her temples and wriggling
her finger while crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue too.
"Maa, par hum jaa kaha
rahe hai?!" she asks yet another time. She notices the marking on the road.
They were near the outskirts of Amritsar.
"Hayya Rabba! Thodi
thand rakh." Leela exasperates with a palm pushed against her forehead. "Sab
pata lag jayega thodi der mein."
It takes them an hour
more to reach their destination. Twinkle completely new to the places, whips
her head around, trying to figure out where is was that her mom had bought her
too.
There was a wooden
board twenty feet to her left. Butterfly Park' it announced, followed by its
opening days and timings.
Leela hooks her arms
through Twinkle's and they make their way inside.
It took Twinkle's
breath away. And for the first time in two excruciating long days, it took her
breath away in a good way. A little gasp escaped her throat at the sheer beauty
fluttering around her. COLOURS! In every shade of the spectrum.
"Tu toh Rangoon mein
rang na hi bhool gayi." Her mom lets her know.
And that's how they
sit, on a little bench amidst thousands of fluttering butterflies, for hours,
teaching colors and learning colors. Of course Leela couldn't see the colors
with as much vividness as Twinkle but she had hired someone who could help
Twinkle.
"Aur who dekh rahi
hai? Waha! Woh wali. Haan woh. Woh Purple hai!"
Twinkle mesmerized,
eagerly learned all of them. She would exclaim that her favorite color was
blue, only to change it to pink after leaning the new color's name. And then
she would decide that Green was prettier. "Nahi Ma! Mera favorite color Red
hai." She'd yell in another minute.
It went on for a
while, learning new shades and calling them her new favorite until dusk was
approaching and the park was nearing its closing time. Leela knew she had made
the right decision bringing Twinkle here.
The car ride back
home, for Twinkle, was filled with this unexpected sense of peace. She felt
strangely content, despite the bizarre situation of her life. Maybe it had
something to do with that fact that she accepted her fate for what it was.
Why cry over spilt
milk now, anyway. Why cry over the loss of something that wasn't even hers? Why
punish herself by ignoring the hues life had to offer?
She stares outside the
window, with a small smile on her face. Just because she isn't his soulmate
doesn't mean that her love for him is invalid. No! Her love for him will remain
just as strong as it was before, nothing would change that. And her love isn't
incomplete just because he doesn't return her feelings. She decides that very
thoroughly that she wouldn't let his feelings towards her define her love for
him.
She loves him and will
continue loving him until the end of times. So what if they weren't meant to
be?
She picks up his
milkshake on the way back home too.
Kunj was pretty sure something was wrong with him, or her or
maybe even them.
Were soulmates supposed to fight so much? Kunj and Maya
disagreed over every little thing. At first he kind of enjoyed her
contradictions. He thought that, that's what made their relationship
interesting. She was a formidable partner, always questioning and reasoning and
providing her viewpoint. It was fun-initially.
But as the days rolled by, the qualities of Maya, that once
enchanted Kunj was becoming more and more intolerable. For once, he just wanted
her to shut up and listen to him instead of providing him with her valuable
viewpoint. She did have valid and valuable input, no doubt about that but
sometimes be just wants her to listen to him, maybe even provide him with a
little sympathy instead of playing the rationality card.
He missed being listen to. Twinkle listened. She would
patiently hear all his rants and would only smack him with facts and arguments
when he was being an absolute cry baby.
Those were the days,
he thinks ironically.
These were supposed to be the days too. But something was
always amiss or imperfect. Kunj chides himself was expecting too much. He was
dreaming too far into his relationship with Maya. Huh, Twinkle's imagination
and expectation might have rubbed in on him. Since when did become so filmy and
clich romantic? He reminds himself that was reality and reality had real
relationships and real relationships were not perfect. Real relationships had
problems that were to be overcome together.
And yet he can't shake the feeling of something being blatantly
wrong...
He confronts Maya that afternoon. Sits her down and tells
her that sometimes he just wants to be heard without being refuted. That this
was something that was a problem to him in their relation and he decided it was
best he speak and clear the air early on. Maya sighs, and Kunj knows she was
already ready with her opinion on the matter. He feels the tiny boils of
unexpected anger boiling in the base of his throat, poisoned words aimed and
ready to be fired.
Expectedly, their little discussion escalates into war,
heated and hurting. They don't realize that each had their voices raised, until
they were panting for breath, chest huffing and puffing up and down rapidly.
"I think we need a break."
It hurt. It was supposed to be perfect, they were supposed
to be perfect. They were soulmates, for heaven's sake! But here they were,
barely a year in together asking for a break.
"Yeah. I guess we do!" he agrees, his voice dropping octaves
lower.
It's the first time they part for the night without their customary
kiss on the cheek and a whispered Goodnight'. It was a night of introspection
for the both of them. Each lying in bed and thinking Where did we go wrong?'.
Kunj spends the night idling away the hour in deep thought.
Of course fights were normal for any couple. In fact, in some sense it was
integral part of the relation, fights help clear the air, shows that the other
cares, it helps them grow together as
one unit. And he thought he felt that with Maya, but now-with each talk he
feels them talking a step back rather than going forward. But he also realizes
that it was neither's fault. They were just too-alike. Too self-righteous, and
hasty to contradict. Too logical and ridiculously oversensitive.
He chuckles softly remembering how he always used to mock
Twinkle, who wanted a partner with enough contrasting personality to balance
her. She told him it was about being in equilibrium; he had told her it was
being in disharmony. He had made it clear that he could rather want a soulmate
who was alike enough that they had no disagreements whatsoever. And Twinkle had
violently refuted stating that such relations had no scope for development or
growth. He brushed her off as a dreamer. According to him, back then, reality
didn't work like her dreams. She was being childish.
But look at him now! Ironic isn't it? He had got a soulmate
perfectly tailored to his wishes, and they didn't work out. Twinkle was right
all along.
He boots up his laptop. Time to take a break.
Time to learn again.
From Twinkle.
TO BE CONTINUED...
You know the drill, so do drop down a comment. I love hearing your thoughts.
Edited by neverlandspirit - 7 years ago
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