Hey
everyone. Here is the 2nd and final part of this OS. I will be
honest; I rather like this part. Think this came out like I was hoping it would.
Here is the
link for the short film: https://youtu.be/_99ySDoC1fw
I would suggest watching it after you finish reading so it doesn't end up
giving anything away. And yes, after you folks tell me what you thought of the
entire piece.
And yes, to
the people who add me to their buddy list, please be sure you do indeed want
PMs. I have a friend list of 250+ and it's quite a task to find the people who
want PMs for the Manan. And an effort I don't mind putting in as long as the
reader opens the PM I send. So yeah.
Okies.
Happy reading folks.
~~~
Her Shadow
Part 2
A few months later
The light
of my life has the lost her sight. Her world is a cloak of darkness now.
My
Nandini was such a positive person, always had been. She always taught me to
see the brighter side of life, to see life as glass half full'. But as her
sight faded, the light within her started to fade too. Her positivity dimmed
until there was nothing left. We had to find a way to bring it back, we had to
find a way for her to shine away.
She has
been my light ever since she met me, pulled me out of the darkness into the
light. And now I have to pull her out of the darkness into the light as her
shadow. I will shadow her for life, even in her darkest moment, I promise to
remain her faithful shadow.
I want to
wake up every morning and tell her I love her. I want to be able to smile at
her when I say it. She says she misses seeing my smile so I find a way to show
it to her everyday.
I open my eyes and see her. Our
bodies are entwined together. She is awake with her eyes to the ceiling.
She is waiting, waiting for me to wake up. She doesn't kiss me awake anymore.
She never touches me while I sleep, afraid her touch will wake me. So I let her
know when I am awake. I close my eyes. I lean in and nuzzle her the delicate
curve between her shoulder and her slender neck. A hand curls around my neck as
we come close. Bringing my fingers to her lips, I feel her smile and my own
lips widen upwards. I bring one of her hands to my curved up lips. She can feel
me smiling for her.
"I. Love.
You.", I mouth against her fingers. This is how I tell her I love her, I let
her fingers read my lips. So she can feel my love.
"Hamesha.",
she mouths against my fingers.
Her hand
starts to travel along my jaw, her fingers skimming along my light stubble.
From my jaw, her petite
hand journeys to my forehead, feeling the lines of it. I know what she is
looking for, the tell tale of my worries: my worry lines. She used to
able to see them and soothe them away. Now she feels them. Whenever she thinks
I am stressed or worried, she will simply put her hand to my forehead.
Her hand
starts to drift to my eyes but I grasp her hand. I hear a soft gasp from her so
I bring her close and seal our lips together softly. I can't have her
touching my closed eyelids. She doesn't know it but I close my eyes too
whenever I touch her. We touch as equals. We don't need her sight. We
don't need my sight. We just need each other's touch and the love is
felt.
******
I step
out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my waist. I see Nandini in
her walk in closet picking her outfit for the day. I stand the bathroom door
about ten feet away refusing to make my presence known.
She likes
to pick her clothes herself. Her closet is now organized by material and
colors. She first decides what material she wants to wear. She is on the side
that has her denim jeans, pulling one off the hanger, she feels the cloth and
sniffs it to make sure it's denim. Next, she trails her hand until she gets to
her kurtis. Colors are put in Braille on the walls so she knows what color
category she is in. Skimming her finger over the yellow, she pulls out a
sleeveless yellow kurti to go with her denim jeans. She fingers the Braille
color tag sewn into her back of her kurti to double check she has picked the
right color. Every piece of clothing in her wardrobe has the color sewn into
it. She wants her independence and this is my attempt at trying to give it to
her.
"Hey
babe, the shower is all yours.", I call out and walk with heavy footsteps
towards the bed and she walks over placing her jeans and yellow kurti on the
bed.
Reaching
out with her hand, she finds my cheek and leans in to kiss it. "Okay, my turn
then."
I smile
seeing the smile on her lips. That smile I was worried I wouldn't get back.
Looking down at her outfit, I see that there is a big tear along the hem of
her top she missed. I go to her walk in closet and pick another cotton yellow
kurti and replace it on the bed.
She will
never know and I won't ever tell her. But whenever she messes up with an
outfit, I always fix it before she is out of the shower
******
"What do
you want for breakfast ?", she asks as she hears me walk into the kitchen. I
always try to spend extra time in the room or the study in the morning so she
can get started on breakfast herself.
Independence.
Her need
to take care of me.
To be my
wife, my partner.
She asked
me for those that night. I have to give what she wants. But I make sure to be there before
she turns on the stove and hover around, flirting and laughing with her when
most of the time, my eyes are glued to the burner, afraid every second she is
near it.
"Scrambled
eggs with cheese, please.", What I really wanted for breakfast this morning was
a mushroom and cheese omelet. I swear I even dreamt about it last night. But
it's harder to make and I don't want her to struggle. She would manage it, no
doubt about it but I didn't want her to put more effort than needed.
I walk up
to her and close my eyes curling a hand around her neck and kiss her with all
the love I have for her.
Her face
is flushed by the time we draw back. She gives me a playful shove, "Stop
distracting me.", she says with a short laugh turning towards the steeliness
fridge.
Nandini
herself organizes the fridge now. She puts everything away exactly where she
wants it so she never struggles. I have a picture posted on the side of the
fridge to remind myself how it's organized, making sure I place everything exactly
the way it is so she doesn't get confused looking for her items.
She
reaches into the second shelf for a cartoon of eggs and the third side shelf
for the shredded mozzarella cheese. She places them gently on the counter and
moves her hand searching for the bowl she placed here earlier.
Wrapping
an arm around her shoulder, I nuzzle her ear. And as expected, she turns into
my arms as I kiss her. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I hug her close. And
look over my shoulder for the white bowl she was searching for. It's farther
away, not within the reach of her hand. Trailing a hand along her spine, I use
my other hand and very quietly pull the bowl closer so it's within her reach
when she searches the counter again. With my goal accomplished, I let her out
of my arms.
I grab
the bread and pop two slices in the toaster as she starts cracking the eggs
open. She bends down to throw the shells in the waste bin at her feet. And I
quickly reach in and scoop out the big piece of the shell that went into the
bowl without her realizing.
We work
side by side, talking and laughing as we make breakfast together. I set the
table quickly while she grabs our plated breakfast. I set up the table the same
way everyday now. Salt and pepper at her 3 o clock, ketchup at her 12' clock,
butter at her 9 o clock. It's the same everyday so she never has to ask for
help.
******
"When do
you plan to be home by ?", I ask her as we walk out the door with our hands
interlaced. Her mornings are now regularly spent at the orphanage teaching the
children singing.
She
fingers her Bradley to check the time, "In about four to five hours so
hopefully by three. Why ?"
"Just
like that. I will come home for lunch, and because I will miss you." And I
will, I will miss her so much.
We stop
at her car first, and I place one of her hands to let her know. Tugging her
hand free, she opens the back passenger door and places her bag inside before
she turns around to face me.
She wraps
her arms around my waist tightly, placing her head on my chest, right where my
heart is. She says she likes listening to the sound of my heartbeat. It gives
her peace, she says and I know exactly what she means. "I will miss you too.",
she whispers softly.
She tilts
her head up for a kiss. I close my eyes and kiss her forehead as I hold her
tighter, just for a moment.
******
I pull
the car to a stop. I grab my laptop bag from the passenger seat and put my
phone on silent. I am not suppose to get calls for next few hours but just in
case. In front of my car is Nandini's car and the driver holds the door open
for her to step out. I silently nod at the driver to acknowledge him. I stand
at my car door, waiting for her. She opens her walking stick and puts her bag
on her shoulder and steps out of the car.
She turns
to the driver with a soft smile, "Okay Ramesha bhaiya, you can be back in four
hours or so."
Ramesha
acknowledges her words but he will stay parked outside the orphanage the whole
time. That's what I pay him for.
"Nandini
Didi !", the happy squeals of the children rushing towards her grabs her
attention and she smiles genuinely as she pivots to face them. Small arms wrap
around her legs as her students hover around her, talking all at once. She
listens patiently and answers each child by the name. It took some practice to
remember all the names with just their voices.
"Abhi,
let's go inside and learn some singing." They all nod with excitement and turn
towards me. I wave with a smile and they wave back. They don't say a word
though. They know, Nandini can't find out I am here.
"Where is
Manik bhayia ?", one of the young boys, Karan asks winking at me with a
mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I chuckle quietly to myself so Nandini doesn't
hear me. I fake glower at them as they all snicker and grin at me. Always up to
no good these brats are.
"Remember,
he only comes on the weekend. So he will here tomorrow. Right now he is at
work", Nandini says and they all giggle. My adorable brats, they always find
ways to have some fun at Nandini's expense.
All the
kids race ahead to get inside. But Usha, a beautiful five-year old with her two
front teeth missing, always stays back. She likes to help Nandini. Usha gently
holds Nandini by the hand as they go up the five wooden steps that lead into
the orphanage.
Nandini
pauses at the entrance and glances back as if she can see me. She does it
often, like she knows I am around. Shaking her head and mumbling to herself,
she turns around.
I pick up
my laptop bag and walk quietly a few steps behind. As Nandini and Usha go
through the small entrance door, Usha turns back and smiles at me. I blow her a
flying kiss and thank her. Usha is my tiny helper. From the moment Nandini
comes to the orphanage to the moment she leaves, Usha becomes me, she becomes
her shadow and makes sure Nandini is safe.
Ashaben,
the woman who is in charge of running this small orphanage smiles as soon she
sees Nandini. Usha leads Nandini into the kitchen and I stand by the doorframe
as the ladies talk. Ashaben looks over to me and I acknowledge her with a
smile and fold my hands in greeting. When the kids lead Nandini the hallway for
their class, Ashaben comes forward and lightly touches my head in blessing. She
is a widow in her 40's who has been caring for the children since her husband
passed away years ago.
I reach
into my bag and pull out an envelope for her and hand it to her. Whenever I
offered her my help, she refused it. So I decided to put money into the
orphanage, rebuilding it from the ground up and take care of the monthly
expenses. The children deserve to be brought up with their needs fulfilled,
they deserve to be loved well. And these small children with the biggest hearts
and smiles bring my Nandini joy. The time she spends here, she is happy. And
for that reason alone, I will be forever indebted to them.
I pass by
the classroom where Nandini is standing in the front with her students as they
listen to her intently as she teaches them SA RE GA MA PA. Usha looks over and
sees me. She smiles her mischievous smile as she winks at me. Looks like the brat
is up to something. She gets up from her chair and walks up to Nandini. She
tugs on her kurti to get her attention and Nandini stops mid-sentence and looks
down.
Nandini
Didi, SA, RE GAAA is so boring. We want to hear you sing a song.", she says
with a grin. All the other kids shout in agreement and demand that Nandini
sings a song for them. And Nandini finally relents.
She
clears her throats and starts. And then magic happens, like it always does
whenever she sings. Her voice is like soft velvet and I miss listening to her.
She doesn't sing as often now so I cherish this blessing. I lean against the
wooden doorframe and just listen. The song she picks brings back such beautiful
memories. It was the first song we ever sang together.
Meethi boliyan sun lo
Aasmani rangon ki
Meethi boliyan sun lo
Bezubaani lamhon ki
As
Nandini's song comes to a close and applaud rings out. I walk away and go into
the next room, which serves as my office for the next few hours or so. I look
over all the files necessary and then when I get home with Nandini, I can make
the necessary calls. I go into the office once a week, on a Wednesday.
Wednesday is girls day. Navya, Mutki, Alya show up in the morning and stay till
the night. And when the girls are there with Nandini, I can focus on putting in
a hard day in at the office. Otherwise, I work from home or at the orphanage.
Everyday when Nandini comes here, I come too. I bring my work files and work
from here. She doesn't know that though and I don't need her to. She needs to
be independent. I need to take care of her. This is my way of compromising and
meeting her halfway.
******
I tail
Nandini's car on the way back from the orphanage. I know Nandini's car will
stop soon at a coconut roadside stall. She likes to have it during the summer
months. Nandini's car stills to a stop and I park mine behind her. I step out
while she is still getting her walking stick ready.
This
scares me the most. When she is on a busy street and I can't hold her hand and
keep her safe. I have to walk behind her, hoping that I can still protect her
without her finding out. She doesn't even let the driver, Ramesha walk with
her. I trail her footsteps as she walks the few steps to the roadside coconut
stall. She stops by almost everyday on her way from the orphanage so the aged
vendor smiles in as he sees her approaching.
"Namaste
uncle.", Nandini greets the old man with a smile. He nods and smiles at me but
he won't say a word to me either. He knows I am Nandini's husband who is meant
to be a silent shadow that Nandini must never find out about.
"Arre
Nandini beti. Namaste." He gently touches her arm and hands her the coconut he
has cut and readied for her already.
Nandini
pulls out wallet where she keeps her money. Money was a hard thing for her to
master. With the coins, it was relatively easy to figure them out by the feel
of them. But the paper bills, they all feel the same. We ended up with a
solution of buying a wallet with more dividers so she can sort her paper money
that way. Now each divider has only one kind of bill. She reaches into the 20s
section and pulls out two and places it in the aged vendor's hand. He glances
down at them and thanks her.
She ended
up giving him a 20 rupee note and a 10 rupee note instead of two 20 rupee
notes. And the kind man he is, he doesn't embarrass her by calling her out on
it. Watching Nandini turning around to leave, I quickly reach into my wallet
and hand him the difference.
He is
about to speak out and I quickly gesture to Nandini. He smiles and nods.
******
I wait
for a few minutes inside my car after we get home. I want Nandini to get inside
and settled. So she can wait for me.
"Nandini,
I am home.", I call out as I stepped through the door.
"In the
kitchen." She hollers back.
Oh snap !
I hope she didn't start cooking yet. It's only been a few minutes since we got
home. I drop my laptop bag and blazer to the ground and literally run the short
distance to the kitchen.
When I
get to the kitchen, I heave a sigh of relief when I see her standing at the
kitchen island, measuring out rice.
"Hey
babe", I pull her into a hug and she tilts her head up for a long kiss. "How
was your day?", I ask her when we draw back.
Still
needing the touch, I wrap my arms around her waist as she turns around to face
the sink. She turns the tap on to soak the rice in water.
" It was
good. Karan was asking about you." I muffle a chuckle knowing she will hear me
because we are standing so close to each other. Of course he was asking about
me, that brat.
"So did
you miss me ?", she asks me cheekily.
I pick
her up and gently place her onto the kitchen counter. Her arms come around my
neck easily and she leans in. And starts to journey my face with her petite
hand, starting with the lips. She waits for my lips to curve upwards for her.
So I smile and she smiles her beautiful smile in response.
Love, it's
felt the most in the touch now. She touches me like she wants to touch my
heart. Our hands reach out and intertwine with each other and it's like our
souls touch.
"You know
I missed you.", I tell her, pecking her nose. It's the truth. I did miss her. I
miss the hours I couldn't talk to her. I missed her knowing that I was around
her, close by the entire time. I missed being able to stand next to her holding
her hand, intertwining our fingers together. I missed her touch the most. I
always miss her touch, it's the way our love is felt now.
But this
is how life needs to be now. My Nandini is independent, starting to live life,
again, is happy with her life . Her Manik can only stay close by, just in case
she ever needs me.
"I love
you, Manik. Hamesha", she leans in until our foreheads touch.
"I love
you, Nandini. Hamesha." I whisper to her softly.
True
love, it's more than a feeling, they say. It's an action, where the love is
expressed by taking care of each other. She may never know how much I do for
her and I don't need her to. Because everything I do, I do it for myself. I
love her this way because I need to love her this way, because I need to take
care of her this way. I need to be her faithful shadow, one that won't ever
abandon her, even in her darkest moments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okies, over
to you folks. Do provide your feedback
Much love,
- Reya <3
Edited by maankigeet4ever - 8 years ago
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