Jodha Akbar: Love And Belonging

 

After so many years Jalal, and Jodha have evolve into a great King and a virtuous Queen however some of their closed once seems left behind. As I think of their journey I realized their decisions, choices and determination have brought them this far.  So I go back in time to look from where both started from and how far they have come in this journey of true love.  Other characters like Rukaiya who seems to be stuck at one place and constant presences in Jalal and Jodha's journey along with many others amazed me so much as I try to understand her character! One will think that after all these years she would at least learn something and change for the better. I was not surprised when she said now her target is Salim as I am sure it will change to another soon.

Jalal at a point in his life was just like Rukaiya in some ways! Both were partners in crime, they lived in a world where there was no place for love as young people with power and authority. They both did what pleased them without thinking about the rights, dignity of the people they hurt or rule. Ultimate power does corrupt when it is mishandled and that corrupt both Rukaiya Jalal equally.  Jalal cared less of how Rukaiya ruled as his chief queen and he gave her unlimited authority over everything he had including his wives. He never corrected her mistakes, misdeeds nor questioned her authority in anyway, he never demands Rukaiya to respect his authority either but rather it became as though there were two rulers in the Sultanate. Jalal turned a blind eye on all her negative behavior and when he should correct her he parted her back as though well done! They smoked and drunk together, she approved of him having other women and telling her about them as long as she is the special one and when he is in Agra she alone had the right over him. However somewhere along the journey of Jalal and Rukaiya he saw something different, experienced and tasted another kind of authority and type of rulership that changed him and brought him peace, love, goodness, public eminence and acceptance from the citizen. It was a different kind of 'world' and he wanted to live in this 'world'. Today he is the great and powerful King, good husband, and somewhat a father to be emulated in his ideology. Jalal stepped into this different kind of 'world' leaving Rukaiya behind he never use his influence on her to neither change her nor bring her along to this new 'world' hence now she is a thorn in his flesh for life.

Rukaiya perhaps we might argue that she had a choice either to change or not because she saw Jalal changing before her eyes day by day and instead of following him in that direction she chose to remain the way she was and she got worse over the years.  Yes she could have made that choice alone to follow Jalal if she understood the change and accepted the new Jalal whom she once secluded to herself only.  However Jalal did not help her either in this situation because he kept living in the new and the old to some extent whenever it pleased him and so Rukaiya believed there was hope to bring back the old Jalal - her old and cruel Jalal' back into her world. He made her believe she was still in control of everything including him. Until he started shedding her off slowly day after day till the reality sank in that this is the way things will be now.  Rukaiya made up her mind that it is time to war against Jalal and to destroy what he holds dear ; the love of his life and his heir to the throne.  She did not only try to make Jalal give her ultimate power in his Sultanate but also set her heart to secluded his son from him to herself.  So that if she cannot have Jalal and his power at her disposal she can have the next heir to the throne powers at her disposal to use for this she is willing to do anything to achieve her desires. In her quest she has forgotten or may not even realized that the very thing that made Jalal changed or seek after which brought him to the top ladder of greatness would one day be the same longing of Salim ( her new focus) and he also will one day seek after those same thing that makes 'man' feel complete; Love and the sense of belonging'. Something Rukaiya herself don't have and can't give to anyone! Though Rukaiya have physiological and safety needs when it comes to love and belongingness, she has a long way to go and this stage is preventing her to even realize that she might have self-esteem and self- actualization or might have to cross this stage to get these two stages also right.  Until she cross to that level that is developing love and feeling belong to her 'family' (her husband, his wives, his children and all extended family) and respecting the rights of the people that serve her as a queen (the subjects) and accepting the unquestionable friendship, care her husband has for her and the love other family members especially Jodha have given her she will not  feel the other needs in her life that is self-esteem and self-actualization and all her insecurities, jealousy and lust for more power above all even her husband 'the King' will keep making her feel incomplete and the need to destroy and take by force or by any means that which does not belong to her by rights or divine destiny or order.

Jodha was the young princess with a strong yet soft personality. She could be fierce and loving at the same time as needed. She was raised under the caring of her family where all strive to dwell in harmony and love no matter the changelings in life may bring. Married to a man she hates so much based on hearsay and probably saw with her own eyes she steps into a new family - a family that have different values, belief system, a way of doing things, challenges, woes and different ideology etc. Jodha went through emotional challenges, false accusation to unjust blames, and punished most by Jalal whenever she is accused even before proving innocent. All these experiences though unpleasant developed some form of change in Jodha over the years; she became tolerant, determined to love this family despite opposition or hate, she put herself in a place to accept her fate (her new family) she made way for her heart to love her husband, and his family till this family became hers as well.   Her character, personality, principles, values paved way for her before her husband and influenced his own thought process and ideology. Jalal kept drawing nearer to Jodha till she became the center of his world, elevating her from position to position.  Today she is no more the young princess of any significance who entered the harem of Jalal that Rukaiya was determined to rule over just like the other wives of Jalal. Today she has developed into a wife, a mother and a queen who puts others first before her own needs, who strive to keep her family together no matter what, who is willing to give and sacrifice anything if need be to ensure someone is comfortable and someone's well-being whether a family member or a subject. Today we see  Jodha  reaching the self-actualization when her husband helped her realize her potential and even in the middle of crisis she keeps focus on what is more important without being self-centered  her husband and his aspirations for the Sultanate, family, and the subjects.

I have gotten to the point which this Serial is now a case study! 😆 As some of the characters needs a little looked at to understand;  Even a witch also needs love I guess 😕 (hmm that will be another topic someday).

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is giving me a different picture altogether. That is biological and physiological needs, safety needs, love and belongingness, self-esteem, self-actualization needs.

1.    Biological and physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth etc.

2.    Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, freedom from fear.

3.    Love and belongingness needs - friendship, intimacy, affection and love,-from work group, family, friends, romantic relationships.

4.    Self-esteem needs - achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, respect from others.

5.    Self-actualization needs, realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

It is said that when one of these stages is lacking or incomplete in one's life it keeps drawing one back into a feeling of incompleteness and the need to find a way to satisfy that void. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonderful post... Very thought provoking  indeed.. Though Jalal I feel was initially under Rukiayas influence , he slowly came out of it because somewhere  within him was a kind hearted person  but RukiAya made him believe that he indeed was heartless,cruel ruler and thats the way he is supposed to be.. With Jodha entering his life,  she started to show him the mirror..  the hatred she bore for him  was something which he had never come across before.. He always got respect.. and out  of fear maybe, no one ever confronted him.. He got everything else but was deprived of true love.. Rukiaya loved  his position more than the person Jalal..so she never tried to change him for he was how she exactly wanted him t o be. puppet in her hands.. Jodha on other hand did not fear him. No mattter what he did she never bowed down to his wishes.. She made him realise that if a person has no heart , he is as good as dead... He saw Jodha 's selflessness, her love for Rahim and his mother .. and maybe he started yearning for that love... And  his heart ultimately melted  for Jo when he saw her almost sacrificing her life for him.. He had always seen people eager to take his life..but no one  had  given their lives to save him...He was just  so touched by her gesture.. and rest is h istory.I can go on writing but you have already written so beautifully..there is no need to write any further.. Thanks for this wonderful post... 

Nice post,

Originally posted by: neesha19

Wonderful post... Very thought provoking  indeed.. Though Jalal I feel was initially under Rukiayas influence , he slowly came out of it because somewhere  within him was a kind hearted person  but RukiAya made him believe that he indeed was heartless,cruel ruler and thats the way he is supposed to be..With Jodha entering his life,  she started to show him the mirror..  the hatred she bore for him  was something which he had never come across before.. He always got respect.. and out  of fea r maybe, no one ever confronted him.. He got everything else but was deprived of true love.. Rukiaya loved  his position more than the person Jalal..so she never tried to change him for he was how she exactly wanted him t o be. puppet in her hands.. Jodha on other hand did not fear him. No mattter what he did she never bowed down to his wishes.. She made him realise that if a person has no heart , he is as good as dead... He saw Jodha 's selflessness, her love for Rahim and his mother .. and maybe he started yearning for that love... And  his heart ultimately melted  for Jo when he saw her almost sacrificing her life for him.. He had always seen people eager to take his life..but no one  had  given their lives to save him...He was just  so touched by her gesture.. and rest is h istory.I can go on writing but you have already written so beautifully..there is no need to write any further.. Thanks for this wonderful post... 

Neesha, thanks so much.

This is wonderful and I agree with your thoughts especially the bold ones.

Wished you have written more😊

Originally posted by: ayushimehra

Nice post,

i recalled Ann made thread sometimes before.

i posted this, some similer to your😊, you can read this thread here.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4184082?pn=7

copi pasting here I think,

 Favourite word Have its Own Beautiful meaning, If a person titled up BEK, or that person own highlites, she is BEK,  That not means She is favourite of A King, Cum husband

If a power Liking person, Own Adding, to presurrise Others, what she is, or Own understaning, she is Some special, Others are Keep quite, because  Others not wants, senseless Drama will happen Daily on Place,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;so its  like This.

Ruk entered Jalal life, Childhood,She Was his cousin, So they became childhood friends. Soon they got married.As a child hood friend, +wife, +opposite Sex, naturally, A growing Boy will be attract  .Both Taste of Rudeness were same that time. Both enjoys Others Pain Ruthless life.

Both Want to enjoy Others Pain, Or Own Power. Power Game was Happening.

At that point, BK, OR Maham they have also insentive persons, But they wants  Jalal as A king should not defeated, Because That way they Own go To Loss.

But They three not denies, Akbar Harsh deseions. They aprriciated, Akbar One Weakness, He can't read, Forced him to, come back Ruk again again, Naturally, Child hood friends or Who supports Us, we like them, Maybee We Right Or wrong.

Others femals was Also in Harem, But its Man habit He Always attracts, Confident Femals,

Femals,

Others were less confidents, comparsion To Ruk. Or Ruk knows, How to tackle Man, or How to Use Power, So she Knows survive Own, Not create space for Others, Own poistion is necessary, Or  if you want to survive, Own become No 1 , But she was also growing, Jalal was busy, Outer, or she was busy, Gaining Power in Harem.  But her mind was Clear, By hook By Crook, Maintain NO 1 poistion,if needed Speak some Lie,

But growing Mind started, Cheating internally, But she knows, if she loosed BEK poistion, or if she fallen in jalal eyes, She has no Space in Jalal life,So she always Aware this point.

So she start to hide things. But  how A Busy Man  can suddenely suspects her Wife.But Ruk desire,started, Hold others. But because Jalal will power was strong, So front of Jalal, ruk poistion, always, Equal, to Jalal, Sometime Less, But she not in poistion even today,or full life She full dominate to Jalal. so She  Own have To aware, this point.

Suddenely Jodha entered Jalal Life. She was Jalal's Love, Love which happened First seeing Her, Heart connection, jalal side connected, But supress,  in Hates Form.

But Things changing Now.  Because Heart was attach, & Jalal have habit to watching Things, 

He started To see Lifes, Second Side. First Cause of  Jallad type, nature was tough, but Jodha,  will Power +Vision clearty, +Confirm Decesions. Right Time Right decesion Fearless, Or Femal personality, slowely slowely changed Jalal.Or Both in Love, Or New style of Life was Comfrotable +respectable.That got Jalal respect More Outer side, He became Akbar, He started, to Learn Humanside.

But Jalal tried to convience ruk time to Time, Jodha is in her Life, He values Her, But Less learning Habit of ruk, Not changed Her.She is busy How Jalal & Jodha distanced. Sometime 

she sucessful like Maham. But When You Love from someone,  Love has habit To sortout things  &, Moved On Next.  Akdha faces a lot Own sort out, because both knows, they can't live without eachother.Both chemistery from Heart, Automatically, Travels , Inner +outer journey, Both have Hunger of Learning.

When Jalal Saw ruk is no changing, FP, is big Ex,  Child issu, second, But here Jodha also wants to Give Child. Some CV problem, seeing secenes. So  he leaved Ruk,tackle own nature, Own, Because You can't all time, shout . On Wife. You can't punish, When you not sure she did a Big crime.Big crime, should be Prove. When two persons Live together, Someattachment natural, Love +attachment have a difference. Ruk Understands, Possiveness +Attchment is a Love, & She belives in domination.If Dominations comes from Heart,Sometimes changes into Love, but Here possieveness , extreem,  incresing Ruk jealousey, she doing again again, internally, stupid creations. Sometime stopping is necessary,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;But Is Ruk that type personality, Jalal will say, she will stop. No.

Wife & Husband realtionship, is Not a easy Task. Your One creation will effect, All kingdom Man, if one is stupid, Other try to solve. Very tough. But it happens.you can name it adjustment.

As A king your duty is to Handle All Hindustan, You can;t focues your energy Own Ruk only. But he knows, Ruk have No treatment,😆, So he is blancing as A husband, Love +blancing have a difference. Sometime we do  these things, other will not create more Problems.so he ignore Ruk stupidness, Sometimes, Ruk Cleverness is so big, not Comes out full truth

Because As A king or as a husband, he not leaves her easily because she is wife., But Sometime speaking is necessary. where needed or Jalal not speaks, its a CV problem, Real life Akbar i think not do these type of things.We mostely know Ruk will be punished,  but if we see these things Jalal point of view, Hindstan king was so honest, or so powerful, We know, but As a husband How much he feeled, Upset, His wife did some,  Major mistake, or she punished.

This time As A king how his duty is to Blance Outside, Interally his duty is also blance, so he is same doing.But lets see.

Ayushi,

I love this so much excellent.👏👏👏

Originally posted by: .chandni.

nice post

Thank you Chandni 😊

Beautifully Written and loved Reading it. Thank you for making this wonderful post.

Once Jalal got married to Jodha, he started to see the good qualities of Jodha and slowly starts to fall in love with her, though he was attracted to her prior to marriage itself. The good nature of Jodha Brought him emotionally closer to her. Same goes to Jodha as well. Her hatred for him slowly started to change as soon as she started to see that the person whom she thought to be cruel also had a positive side. Both started to drain energy from each other and move ahead in life.

Ruks got stuck with her position and Jealousy and always felt self sympathy for her. This self sympathy which turns into jealousy can only make you go in the wrong path. In life its always easy to blame others and say this happened because of that person or any incident. Mocking and Criticizing in a negative way only Projects ones own weakness . Its never going to affect the other Person as God is always there to Protect them. It only pulls you down further and become bad in the eyes of God. The hard part is how to learn to move on in life barring these hurdles. Thats where Jalal and Jodha succeeded and Ruks Failed...
Edited by SindhuMenon - 8 years ago

Originally posted by: SindhuMenon

Beautifully Written and loved Reading it. Thank you for making this wonderful post.

Once Jalal got married to Jodha, he started to see the good qualities of Jodha and slowly starts to fall in love with her, though he was attracted to her prior to marriage itself. The good nature of Jodha Brought him emotionally closer to her. Same goes to Jodha as well. Her hatred for him slowly started to change as soon as she started to see that the person whom she thought to be cruel also had a positive side. Both started to drain energy from each other and move ahead in life.

Ruks got stuck with her position and Jealousy and always felt self sympathy for her. This self sympathy which turns into jealousy can only make you go in the wrong path. In life its always easy to blame others and say this happened because of that person or any incident. Mocking and Criticizing in a negative way only Projects ones own weakness . Its never going to affect the other Person as God is always there to Protect them. It only pulls you down further and become bad in the eyes of God. The hard part is how to learn to move on in life barring these hurdles. Thats where Jalal and Jodha succeeded and Ruks Failed...

Sindhu, thank you.

Yes, the learning, evolving processes was on both sides. It was never a one way issue and that is why both Jodha and Jalal have been able to overcome so many things together. Jodha had to do some changing herself to  get fulfilled and so did Jalal.

At bold, exactly and she is still in that same spot for years and has not gotten any fulfillment as her agenda is unrealistic.

Originally posted by: BeaBea

Thank you Chandni 😊

Wonderful post Bea, written from a psychological angle.

I am not is a position to write much , everyone's points are well written. But would congratulate you for putting the characters and fitting them into Maslow's table. :)

Just try for a post with Cognitive Evaluation Model, too. I would like to see how you put Ruqs into that, and judge her based on intrinsic motivators and extrinsic causatives. :-P

Interestingly, intrinsic motivators tend to be higher on the Maslow hierarchy table also. :)