My steps stopped in the tracks, on their own. As they restrained me from going further, with a force from somewhere behind, and I couldn't carry on. I stopped so slowly, taking in that familiar tug at my heart, which always had the power to stop me. I realised it was that tug again, it was the same presence, it was the same aura, it was the same rush, it was the same pacing of the heartbeats, it was the same soul, connected with me. It was...HER.
I stopped suddenly, afraid to look back - afraid of that curiousity to look back, afraid of that excitement to look back, afraid of that delight to look back, afraid of those tears to look back. I took in that moment - was it really HER?! Was that it? I am not mistaken, am I? I closed my eyes, to clutch my fast beating heart, to hold my oncoming smile, to hold those tears to fall, to reminisce that moment, in me forever.
I turned around, not wanting to lose that moment anymore. I turned around and I saw...HER. Her face, half covered with that Dupatta, her eyes closed, for praying. Her half smile, her small soft strands of hair blowing on her forehead, eyebrows. Her hands joined. My eyes stopped at her, my heart stopped at her, my soul took in the face who has captivated me, and still captivate. I was finally able to...breathe.
I kept looking at her, as the memories started crashing down upon me. Of her, of me, of ours. With each memory, I felt she is back to me. She is standing there right in front of me, my eyes. The one whom I was searching, the one whom my heart was beating for, the one whom I knew was alive, the one whom my soul was looking for. The smile, the face, the touch, the smell, the presence, it was there - right in front of me.
My lips broke into a smile, a reverent smile, a restrained smile, a longing smile, a shouting smile. My heart was smiling, my soul was cheering me, my eyes were shining - with those little drops of unshed tears, as they started forming in them. The tears and smile have a strange connection - they both break out at the same time. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to smile, I wanted to tell the whole world, I wanted to yell, I wanted to jump, I wanted to take in this whole universe, my soul was enriched, it was imprinting again.
I din't know, I din't even feel, as and when my eyes started flowing, with those tears. The tears of enlightenment, tears of joy, tears f happiness, tears of longing, tears of love, for her. Tears of her love for me. Tears of our love. I din't know I was smiling more, or I was crying more, I guess I was doing both, or nothing. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't just do anything. As I brought my hands up to my face and held it in pure astonishment, shock, rush, delight, happiness, love of seeing,...HER.
I finally found the strength in my legs to take my steps ahead towards her. I couldn't tell, was my heart crying or my eyes. She was there in front of me. I wanted to reach for her, to touch her again, to hold her again, to feel her again, to wrap her in my arms again, to be in her arms again, to be with her again, to be with her love again. I took a step ahead, but I stopped suddenly.
I wasn't still sure if it was REALLY her am I seeing?! I took it back and turned around, to sink in the feeling of seeing her again, to be sure that its really her. To calm my heart and heartbeats, to calm my rising breaths, to calm my smile and tears, to calm what I was feeling, to calm my unspoken words from blurting out, to calm that silence of her being in front of me, to calm my undying love for her. As I looked up and thanked Allah for giving the light of my life..back. My savior, my soulmate, my love.
I wiped my face with my hands, wiped the tears thatt were still falling, and weren't stopping. I turned around again, to see her face, looking at me now. She was the same. She was the same serene light, the divine enchantment, the precious engravement, the imbibed love. Her smile, the purest ever, the tender, the gentle and a calming smile, as she kept looking towards me, and I kept looking at her. My lips breaking into a smile again, seeing her smiling again. As she started coming towards me..
My steps started towards her, to reach that smile, to know that smile...she kept coming towards me...and I kept walking towards her...she walked past me..leaving me behind her, as my steps din't bother to go further. That smile...wasn't for me.
She went towards...someone else. I turned around in shock, stunned. My world just stopped revolving around me, the whole universe came crashing down upon me in those few moments. Only it was for devastation. My heart din't beat, my legs din't move, i stood rooted at the spot, as the pain, the tears made its way back to me...
She kept smiling for...him. And I. I wished I could have cried enough...
Edited by Junoon-e-SaHil - 13 May 2015 at 12:29pm