Originally posted by -Sahar-
Hi FH, been seeing your posts everywhere since yesterday. Blame it on my laziness, till the time I read each of your posts dissecting and scrutinising Nandini's every action and reaction (past & present), somebody would have already replied to you and responded to all your points "justifying Nandini" even where Nandini didn't need any justifications.^^Oh sorry, did I just make an assumption in the last line above, about Nandini's actions not needing justifications? When you have specifically requested the readers in your NOTE vv, NOT to assume. Thank u so much for taking the trouble of errr dissecting my words as u put it across 😆 U have been following my posts? 😲 too much of an effort for a lazy person I must say and well am I honored or what? 😆
NOTE: This could be a very long topic. So people who want to assume I made it to bash Nandini, I request you to atleast read it before bashing me. Else if u decide to skip it then atleast dont bash me without reading what I have to say. Its a humble request
Yes your topic was too long, my lazy bad I just didn't read all of it, just start and finish. My conclusion - you made this post to bash nandini, yes yes yes.
That would be called my presumption, my premature judgement of you, right? Wow intuitive much now I should say. I even mentioned the points that made me like her but yet I am a basher coz I expressed my dislike for one move.
Then what do we call your posts since yesterday? Even when I have seen people making such lovely detail posts/threads detailing and explaining the reasons behind each of nandini's actions, in yesterday's episode as well as in the past.
You just keep sticking to your own views, not making any effort even to relate to the emotional language.
So let me put Nandini's trauma (which you are trying to quantify and qualify since yesterday) in Factual terms instead of emotional. Don't know whether FACTS will make any difference but its become a compulsion for me now. Ok now thats a little extreme for a person who did not bother reading my post entirely, just the start and the finish. I did accept she is in trauma and well I can understand a fair bit of it but I wouldn't bother explaining it to you since I am not sure you would even read. And I wonder if you bothered to take the trouble of making so much efforts to explain it to everyone else who felt the same way but you selectively chose me. Boy I am floored with all this attention 😆
1) Universal fact - A highly personal traumatic encounter cannot be reduced to a calculus of objective parameters.
^^You are trying to do just that. Inspite of humbly requesting us to not presume, you yourself are trying to quantify the trauma which nandini went through at the hands of Pandit, according to your preconceived notions.
2) Trauma definition according to Psychological Association -Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, violence, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships.
^^And by the above, I am NOT "attempting or claiming to equate the kidnap with RAPE" NO! I am trying to equate it with VIOLENCE, which it was.
3) Delayed onset of trauma - Is Usually because of s subsequent event linked to the original source of trauma which in this case was getting justice and Pandit where he belonged = behind bars. Nandini emotionally numbed herself because she is what she is, the one who doesn't leave any chance to support the right even at the cost of her own shattered state of mind.
A) She was the brain behind Mukti's campaign.
b)She was the same behind Navya's college return campaign.
But what do we see, instead of being lauded for it, these campaigns are being thrown (<< Yes appropriate use of this term :) ) in her face just because the storyline has finally the character Nandini an outlet, a break, a chance to cave in, a chance to be something other than strong. Man, she has been strong for too long, been carrying just too much. Do we even stop to realise how mentally draining it is to be always curbing your primary instincts / reactions and going by the secondary impulse of good sense, of making the correct decisions, deciding on whats right and wrong for yourself and for everyone else? It takes a lot to be always upright on the pedestal, let Nandini kneel down for a second, let her catch her breath from the turmoil, plz.
I certainly agree but different people react differently. And yes she needed a breakdown and I did admit to it. But why push away people? Scratch that push them away too coz u need ur space. But a break up isn't a solution.
3) Verified and documented Signs of Emotional Trauma (Do you see yesterday's Nandini in these below?)
a) Depression/spontaneous crying
b) The feeling of out of control, Panic attacks
c) Hypervigilance, jumpiness, extreme sense of being on guard, detachment << The instant reaction which she gave on Manik's touch when he tried to comfort her by placing his hands on her waist.
And by putting Manik's various touches from yesterday's episode in words, nobody means or intends to sound unapproving of his touch. Everyone knows that Manik was there to comfort her only, not to romance or physically caress her. Touching her is how he connects with Nandini ALWAYS, be it for him seeking strength (them holding hands), him comforting / soothing her (usually holding her face, lifting her chin, rubbing her shoulders and arms) or expressing his physical desire (all of these). Everyone knows he is there for her not for selfless or base reasons but because he loves her and wants her to speak out, lash out and let it all out what's eating her inside. Everyone includes Nandini too. The first flinching was because of her jumpiness.
OK. I agree with this point here. She cannot jump back to being normal and that is bound to happen.
d) Emotional / social / physical withdrawal, detachment - Her second and third flinching and running away instances from Manik's touch were because of this reason. She knows thats how he connects to her primarily, so she is shunning away and avoiding him holding her because she wants to shut herself, hide herself from the world including him. Reason coming below, if you be so kind to read on..
e) Inability to maintain close relationships, communication difficulties, withdrawal from normal routine relationships - The kidnap has shattered her, as explained above - she is all over the place. Not only is she not in one piece, neither emotionally nor psychologically but also she is crumbling, imploding bit by painful bit. At police station when everyone including chacha insisted her to go and rest at home, she didn't, why? Because she wanted to keep running away, in search of a seclusion where she can be alone with her demons, let them destroy her, prey on her because she wants to be consumed. Why?
I agree with this point too. She was breaking apart and she wanted seclusion.
f) Guilt feelings, detachment, frozen in time - She blames herself, persecuting herself, being harsh on herself because Manik was right about Pandit. While you say that before the kidnap, she came to know about riddhima and pandit's character too, so what pandit did afterwards shouldn't count. Why not? Just because I know that my teacher's character is not the pristine mirror I believed it to be, if he kidnaps me, ties me up hands and feet, gags me, manhandles me whichever way he wishes, should I not be shocked? Should I have seen the kidnap, abduction coming? Is abduction, kidnap, harrassment is what is universally associated with every grey character in society? No, her kidnap and the subsequent TORTURE that she went through in that garage is what Nandini never expected or saw coming just because Pandit is a bad man. In one instant, a relationship of teacher-student became that of abductor-abductee, of one with power while other was snatched of every vestige of it. What was it if not a shock was Nandini? Won't she need time, some days to first confront it, then let in her loved ones to heal her, in time to recover from it?
I will not say she should not be shocked. U know a person whom u respected before is a psycho but u don't expect him to abduct you. She had not seen the torture coming but why the guilt for not listening to Manik for the kidnapping? Does this mean pandit would not have kidnapped her if she had agreed to Manik before? She isn't responsible for that psycho kidnapping her. She was kidnapped not trapped.
g) Dissociative symptoms (splitting off parts of oneself) - Like you say in your post, her believes, her values, of others and her own self, her opinions about herself, all got shaken up, all are in smithereens lying around her. She said to Manik "how can I be with you when I am so lost", because Manik is a part of her, her self, they are one and she is detaching from HER OWN SELF, so she is trying to detach, run away from Manik too because what is Manik if not a part of her. We term them as two halfs of one so this is what its about, by shunning manik, she is shunning and denying her own self. In time, with patience, Manik will bring her out of the chasm that she is whirling helplessly in but GIVEN TIME. For that. he needs to make her feel in control of herself, her surroundings, steady her blurring vision and make her feel that the ground she stands on is not shaking and opening up below her to bury her inside. The PRECAP was about this, Manik giving her the right to choose, making her/encouraging her/empowering her to take the reins of control, of her life back in her hands, to once again learn to make decisions so that she knows that its not her beliefs that betrayed her, its the circumstances that clouded her judgement and made her fall. Not necessarily she will always fall because she is not like that so she shouldn't blame herself for what badness exists in the world, not to be harsh on her own self.
I agree she needs to find herself but running away was not the solution. Maybe she needed space from Manik too. But maybe I am so used to seeing them breaking up and patching up and so on so forth so often I lost my cool 🤣 Hey maybe I am not all that intelligent after all to understand simple things even like u pointed out.
Anyway, just tried to place some facts before you, in the hope that they appeal to your sense and sensibility and sanity prevails at all ends 😊
Thanks for this post and also for the efforts. I donno if I should thank or maybe apologize to you for making u take all this trouble to drive some sense into my not so sane mind 😆
But I am looking at it as a show. I never focused on one individual all together and somehow many things seemed forced to me just to highlight the leads be it Soha or pandit fiasco. Maybe I should not assume people will always react the same way to every situation but if one incident can shake your faith, then your words to face anything and everything only will seem shallow to me.
Everyone has different view points and what seems right to one may not be for the other. This was your view point to justify Nandini's actions and my thinking may not be the same as yours but atleast I would not rejoice at the idea of proving you wrong coz no matter even if u disagree with what I have to say I would still respect your view rather than poke fun at you.
I did enjoy reading your reply and no I did not skip it 😆 coz I find it rude to assume what another person is trying to say even without hearing them out. And I am a poor frustrated viewer after all you see not an intellectual soul since I expected something more from the show that was beyond MaNan break up and patch up. I would still love to read your views but not at the cost of you wasting your time over a person who lacks sanity. So well if I do prompt you in any manner whatsoever to answer me back I am sorry in advance coz I am making you waste your efforts on someone you consider worthless.
