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The most awaited chapter ;).
As Manik reached in front of girls room he found the door ajar so he thought to open it but stopped seeing and hearing something shocking, snatching the earth under his feet. His smile and excitement faded away and he stood their shocked with tears coming out. He was just not able to believe the scene in front of his eyes.
Abhimanyu was sitting on his knee with a box with a ring in front of Nandini "From the day I saw you, I have completely fallen in love with you. I didn't know how to say you but I am saying it to you today after mustering all my courage. Do you love me? Are you willing to marry me? Will you please marry me and make the happiest and luckiest man on the earth?"
Manik couldn't stop there for a moment mmore, he was shattered, broken. He left from there with tears in his eyes. He rushed to his room and locked himself in the bathroom and cried like he never cried before, ever more that when he felt guilty for hurting Nandini, Padma and his own friends, along his parents.
After that he stopped crying, he wiped his tears and washed his face. While looking at himself in mirror he said "Manik, you are late, you took so much time to realize your love for Nandini and when you realized it's too late, you lost her, you lost your true love," he cried more and more but then he controlled himself and wiped his face with a determination to be stronge and be happy in Nandini's happiness.
He took a quick shower and went down. As he saw Abhimanyu, he was curious, he thought to ask what Nandini said. He truly wished she told 'no' but even if she said yes, he would be happy.
"Actually, I was passing by in front of girls room and heard your voice. Sorry, I didn't mean to listen it but yeah I heard you confessing, what did she tell?"
"Manik, no problem dude that you heard us, no need to say sorry at all" said Abhimanyu with a smile "and as for the confession, she told me to confess to her in lots of people and I agree with her, I want her to always remember that day," Abhimanyu was all in dreaming mode while saying that.
Manik smiled weakly "I am happy for you, I hope she'll say yes" No please, God, don't let her say yes.
Humans, a very complicated species that they could never truly express what they mean or want.
"Thanks man, I also hope the same as you...and yeah Manik please keep it as a secret don't tell anyone."
"Don't worry Abhimanyu, your secret will be kept safe with me"
Then they went in the hall and saw all sitting there. They too sat down. After a while, they heard a bell and a servant went to open the door. Arjun, Rishi and Neha came in. They met everybody but they were shocked seeing Manik there. They met to him like they were strangers that hurt Manik a lot. All talked normally but it wasn't like it used to be, they were so formal, so stranger-like. He didn't know what to do to make everything all right, the same way it used to be before Soha came in their life.
As the phone rang, Shreya picked it up after she hung up the phone, she shouted "oh shit guys, we forgot."
"what???" asked everyone.
"Today is the ball in our college and the principal like every year gave to us the responsibility."
"How are we going to do all the preparations?" Asked Rishi.
"Yeah Rishi, we got less time and so much to do" said Neha all tensed, biting her nails
"Hey guys, don't worry, what about if we help you?" asked Dhruv
"hmm we'll be more than happy" said Arjun "come guys, let's get ready and leave in half an hour."
All agreed and went to get ready. As Nandini was going in her room, Shreya caught up with her "Nandini, you ok?"
"you sure, you are coming?"
"of course, I am coming, why wouldn't I?" said Nandini
"That day Nandi..."
She was interrupted by Nandini "I am over with it"
Shreya nodded her head very well knowing the truth.
(Guys please do have a look:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snn4gR0YQi4)
Unknown to them, someone was hearing them. It was Manik, Manik heard them and was deeply hurt.
'Jaane tu meri kya hai, jaane mein tera kya tha, Saath tere har pal, saath har lamha tha..'
He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, all that came in front of his eyes were their cute moments.
'Jaane kaisi kasak hai, jaane kaisi tadap hai, Kyu yeh aankehin num hai, jaane kaisa gum hai..'
Soon enough, they left and made their way to the college. As Nandini came out she closed her eyes and all the scenes passed through her mind leaving a true smile but soon the smile disappeared, Manik was noticing this all the while and was staring at her.
'Hai dosti humko yakeen tha, dosti aur kuch bhi nahi tha; Par kaise tujh ko bole, kyu chubhte hai pairon mein kaante; Janaa dil jaana, kaise maine naa jaana;Ki pyaar yahi hai, yeh jaane tu ya jaane naa..'
He couldn't believe how he was able to hurt her, he promised never to hurt her again. If only he didn't hurt and let her go that day then this wouldn't have happened, If only he knew it was love all along.
'Janaa dil jaana, kaise tune naa jaana; yeh pyaar to hai, yeh jaane tu ya jaane naa..' He looked at her going in the hall while talking animately to Abhimanyu 'Jaane tu meri kya hai, jaane mein tera kya tha; Saath tere har pal, saath har lamha tha..'
The entered in the hall and started the preparations. Manik was setting the lights when his eyes fall on Nandini, who was running behind Abhimanyu.
'Kyu aise chubhti hai tujhse doori; Kyu lagti hai zindagi yun adhuri?'
As he looked at Abhimanyu blowing air in Nandini's eyes while holding her hand, he so wanted to go, push Abhimanyu away and do that but he knew he lost that right, his hand was was formed in a fist.
'Chua kisi ne tujhko to laga ki;Dil mein kisi ne jaise aag laga ke; Duniya jala di..heyyy meri''
He closed his eyes and sighed. His cheeks were all wet with tears, he quickly rubbed them.
After sometime, Manik had to call for the music system but his mobile was nowhere to be found. Then something came in his mind 'maybe I forgot in the bus...yeah' he left the hall and went in the parking lot.
He opened the bus and went toward his seat where he found his mobile. He sat on the seat and called the music system organizer.
"Sorry, sir we are already booked."
"but please try to understand me, we really need a music organizer. You see it's college ball and without music there won't be ball..." after a lot more insisting they accepted.
After Manik hung up, he sighed and rested his back against the seat and he arched his head back. The scene which happened in the morning flashed in his mind. He was saddened, heart-broken and was also crying.
'Jaane tu meri kya hai, jaane mein tera kya tha; Saath tere har pal, saath har lamha tha..;Jaane kaisi kasak hai, jaane kaisi tadap hai; Kyu yeh aankehin num hai, jaane kaisa gum hai..'
'No Manik, you have to be strong' he wiped his tears and opened his eyes, his eyes suddenly fall on something laying on the floor. It seemed like a book. He picked it up and looked at the cover 'special moments', he knew it was Nandinis as he gifted this to Nandini on her 17 birthday and also told her "Nandu, as time passes time changes but whenever you'll read what you have written in this, you'll live those moments agains."
He thought to read it but his mind said no. There was great battle going on, his heart was adamant to read it, it was like his heart knew there are big secrets hidden in it which he has to know. His heart won the battle and decided to read it.
He looked around and left from the bus. He went to a lake which was a little away from the college. As he reached at the lake, he smiled, it was as beautiful as before. All friends have spend a lot of time here and he so missed those time.
He sat on the bench near the water and opened it. His heart was beating on full speed but soon calmed reading what she wrote. There had all there moments from 17 years old. He flipped the page forward as he already knew that. But his hand stopped as he arrived on a specific date. '5 november 2006'
'5 december 2006,
The most strange day of my Life. Manik and Soha danced together and I was jealous.
Manik is my friend, then why did I feel jealous?
Those thought gnawed my mind. I was worried, my heart was trepidating in someone unknown feelings, something that I never felt this intensely before, until today as I felt jealous.
I could not see their dance, so I left the hall. I was confused, I was in pain and then, I realized, I realized that I love him.
I love Manik.
My confusion had faded away as I had the answer. I smiled, determined to tell him everything right away.
As, I went back in the hall, I heard that Manik and Soha won and I was happy for them. I went backstage and found Manik confessing his love to Soha... I was heartbroken...I lost my love before I could confess... My heart pierced seeing them kissed, I just ran away from there crying as the sight was unbearable for me. Why god did this to me? why??? I love him so much, how can he not see my love. But if that Manik's happiness then I am ready to sacrifice my love only to see him happy''
He looked at the page again and hit his head, tears were coming out of his eyes, he had been a fool. She was hurt so much by him and he could never forgive himself for this. He caressed the page and felt her dry tears on it. He has made her hurt, time and again, he was so much lost in his bubble that he never realized the sadness in her eyes, how could he? he was never like this, he always knew when she was sad and when not then how couldn't he notice that she was hurt, she had a fake smile on her face. He wiped his tears and kept reading but to no avail, his tears were not ready to stop.
Not able to read through his tears blurred view, he stopped, cried some, wiped his tears, sniffing and focused. He read next few entries and cried knowing what Nandini felt.
He was able to feel her pain, the pain given by him. He read the entry of the day of his birthday, He was happy to read all her feelings, she was happy on that day because her Mani was back but then Manik realized that her Mani never came back after that time. He was Devil Manik, the Manik Soha made him.
He looked toward the sky and said "Nandini, I want to be Mani, your Mani". On the same day, there was mention of her dad and how much she was excited, how she tried to call him. He remembered at that time, he was with Soha. 'how can I do that? she needed me with her, she wanted to share her happiness with me, how can I do that'
There was intense urge in his heart to kill himself for being a fool and hurting her.
He came across few poems which stabbed his heart:
'You went away Manik and left me,
with a broken heart,
I cried in pain, I drooped,
I felt too much hurt...(thanks Nidhi)'
'Jal jayenge mere armaan, bhar jayegi meri ankhein
Bikhre dil ka woh dard na jane kaise main seh paongi
Judai se teri jina maut se badtar hoga
Mera khuda jane kya me tujhse kabhi woh keh paungi.'
'Yeh na socha tha kabhi humne,
Kisi ko iss kadar chahenge,
Woh hans kar zakham de denge,
Aur hum zindagi gava denge.'
'Unki galiyon se jab guzray to manzar ajeeb tha,
Dard tha magar woh dil kay kareeb thaa,
Jisay hum dhondty thay apnay hathon ki lakiron main
Wo kisi doosray ki kismat, kisi aur ka naseeb tha.'
Those were poems truly touched him. They showed the depth of her sorrow at that time and the only culprit is him and no one else.
He flipped to the next page and read the date '23 december', he still remembered that dreadful day. Her writing on this page showed how much she was in pain, her letters were not shaped well, her writing was stopped in few places and retaken again, few words were erased a bit because of her tears but he was able to read them.
Diary, this is the worst day of my life... The whole morning, I was waiting for Manik to pick me up... But he couldn't as he has to pick Soha up... I agree I was hurt but then I understood that it was bounded to happen... I knew I could wake dad up but I wanted to be alone, I didn't wanted dad to see my tears ...I left in a taxi...
"I remember how it used to be,
when nothing else matter but you and me,
music, spending time together, and future dreams...
I miss you, I wish you could see,
although you are here, I miss you and me.
I remember when you said how happy I made you,
I miss those days when you'd call just to say "hi"
I miss those days when you come to and say get up,
I don't want to go out, have fun or to do a things...(Thanks Nidhi)"
I made my way in the college and as I was feeling hard to breath thinking about Soha and Manik so I went in the garden. I was happy today but sad too, this heartache was becoming unbearable for me. I stood there with tears streaming down, I wiped my tears and told myself again and again that I have to be strong.
I was in mind thought when Soha and Ishika came, mocking me and berating me. I didn't get them first, and replied politely but then, she crossed her limit, talking about my mom.
Soha insulted my mom, calling my blood dirty, how could she?
So... so I slapped her, I was no longer in my own control."
The diary slipped from his hand and land on the floor, reading this his breath was stuck somewhere. He wasn't able to believe that he had been so much blinded. He has hurt her a lot, he wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't accept him in her life, even as her friend, he deserved to be away from her. He cried a lot, all the pain which she felt was killing him at the moment. He picked again the diary with heavy heart and with tears in his eyes and continued reading.
... Scroll Down for next chapter.
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Edited by kashishk - 12 July 2015 at 8:11pm