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Kaisi Yeh Yaariaan

CaVya OS *Divergent* (Page 3)

NonComposMentis IF-Dazzler
NonComposMentis
NonComposMentis

Joined: 04 January 2013
Posts: 3052

Posted: 12 May 2015 at 5:38am | IP Logged
Reserved.

Let me tell you how much I appreciate the dedication.

Thank you so much!

I'll edit as soon as would be possible for me, haan?



Okay. Unres-ing.

So, firstly, I really liked this! The poetry and prose combination works really well, and it suits you too! Loved the imagery! <3

I would, though like to point out something.

I think you should remove the hetero-homo comparison. Coz a) it's not a comparison. Heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or asexual or whatever, you're still a human being, and there is nothing abnormal. It sounds offensive. b) Technically, wouldn't it make them stand on a common ground? Coz both Navya and Cabir are interested in men?

Other than that, though, it's nice!

Thank you so much for the dedication!

Hug


Edited by NonComposMentis - 13 May 2015 at 9:30am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

mkakkar93

.effervescent. IF-Sizzlerz
.effervescent.
.effervescent.

Joined: 01 June 2007
Posts: 13709

Posted: 12 May 2015 at 6:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by NonComposMentis

Reserved.

Let me tell you how much I appreciate the dedication.

Thank you so much!

I'll edit as soon as would be possible for me, haan?

take ur own tym I m in no hurry!!
but I m dying to know ur views!!
.effervescent. IF-Sizzlerz
.effervescent.
.effervescent.

Joined: 01 June 2007
Posts: 13709

Posted: 15 May 2015 at 8:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by NonComposMentis

Reserved.

Let me tell you how much I appreciate the dedication.

Thank you so much!

I'll edit as soon as would be possible for me, haan?



Okay. Unres-ing.

So, firstly, I really liked this! The poetry and prose combination works really well, and it suits you too! Loved the imagery! <3

I would, though like to point out something.

I think you should remove the hetero-homo comparison. Coz a) it's not a comparison. Heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or asexual or whatever, you're still a human being, and there is nothing abnormal. It sounds offensive. b) Technically, wouldn't it make them stand on a common ground? Coz both Navya and Cabir are interested in men?

Other than that, though, it's nice!

Thank you so much for the dedication!

Hug


I didnt think it maybe offensive
I only added that bit coz the shows been all cool and infact all characters including Cabir have accepted the fact that he is what he is...I added it to d OS to prove the fact that Cabir is what he is and Navya is what she is and they both stand their grounds firmly accepting their situation n their life as it comes ...
will change it if it seems inappropriate sorry

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