Posted: 30 June 2015 at 10:29am | IP Logged
Healing of the hurt souls
"Please.. Please speak something Swayam." Sharon requested softly, slowly rubbing his back. He clutched Sharon even tighter, which triggered the silent tears from Sharon's eyes. "Swayam..." Sharon whispered. And he knew he had to answer. Swayam slowly broke himself free and took a file from his side and handed them to her. As Sharon gave the first glance to the file, her heart started pacing fast, face gone all pale and white. "Medical Report. City hospital." Was what she saw. She slowly checked the patients name and "Swayam Shekhawat" was what that was written there. She felt dizzy as she slowly opened the file and saw what Swayam meant. Sharon gasped and looked at Swayam, she could see him shattered, anger somewhere lighting in him. "Its ok Swayam. Everything's fine. Just stay clam." Sharon murmured to Swayam, trying to console him, but it really did not affect him. "How Sharon!?! How the hell am I supposed to stay clam when I have this god damm asthma. Dance, it's my life. I left everything for it. I struggled, and I succeeded. Dance was the only thing that held me together after my moms death. Dad se fight kiya and what not?And, Here, these few doctors diagnose me with Asthma and you expect me to stay clam. How Sharon? How the hell am I supposed to not dance? How and I going to survive Sharon? I'll die without dance. After my mother, dance was my only reason for existence and now, I can see that too going far from me. I can see it Sharon. I'll die. I'll die without dance..." Swayam said and coughed a little, inhaling short breaths and trying to steady himself. Tears were rolling down his eyes, but they showed slowly blazing fire in them. Sharon understood that emotion perfectly. It was a perfect blend of anger, hurt and shatter ness. And it broke her more. She had never seen anyone crying so badly before. Maybe she did not notice or did not even care to notice.
Swayam whereas wanted to shout his lungs out, cry his heart out only if it was so easy. His life was a mess. Whatever he had faced till date was hard for any other person of his age at least, to handle. In his age of enjoying, hanging out with friends, having fun, he had to work Damn hard to prove his worth to his dad. Who the hell has to do that? He had to learn day and night, practice until his legs gave up or he collapsed exhausted. He had to dance his way through people's heart.. Skipping from the disgusted looks of his father, eagle eye of the media, he was literally FED UP of those things. He had this mild coughing problem since the past few years. He used to struggle for breathe sometimes, but the struggle he had to do for his life, made it small and negligible. He had heard of asthma before, but it had never crossed his mind until three days back when his common mild coughing turned to huge gasps and nearly choked him to death. He had somehow managed to survive, though it was all blur vision. He then had visited the hospital that day itself and had consulted with the doctor. There were few tests and he was hoping for the best. God knows how he escaped the rehearsals and Sharon's " are you all right?" Question during the past three days. Irony of the life he thought, "the passion for which I left everything, it itself is leaving me today." Tears were still rolling down his cheeks and he anyways didn't care. Swayam could feel the warmth of Sharon's thin beautiful hand on his arms. He was taken aback suddenly. He knew his brain was messing with his thoughts, but suddenly he felt greatly overwhelmed. Who was she? This girl, sitting beside him, consoling him that everything was going to be fine. Who was she? The small kid, who had slapped him in grade one? The diva Sharon Rai Prakash? The Sharon who longed for care? The girl who was hard as coconut shell from out and soft as cotton from in? Or the carefree and childish, simple girl who loved to argue on simple topic and watched him cooking for her when she was sick? Maybe all. Swayam slowly moved his hand and held her hand. "I cannot dance..." He softly whispered and fell into deep silence.
Swayam was all silent. Knowing now that he had asthma, even his normal breathing otherwise suddenly seemed hard and heavy to Sharon then. She could not help the silent tears from her eyes. "Why him? Why only him god? Why so painful life for him? Why? He deserves far more better. He does" Sharon thought. She was hell shocked. And she suddenly felt lucky. Whatever she had faced till date, was bad. Damn bad. But, dance was throughout with her and she understood what it meant to him. All Sharon wanted to do that moment was clam Swayam down. Dance could be taken care of and anyways, who said that a person having asthma cant dance? If there's will and passion to do something, no one can take it away from you. She knew Swayam could dance. She knew.. And she believed. What he needed was support from his friends and family. His family.. Sharon's thought drifted. What family? His mother was no more.. And his father, well he did not care. Sharon had met Swayam's dad few times as he being one of the investors of the college and Sharon being the daughter of Gautam Rai Prakash. She had met Rishi Shekhawat many times before when her dad was still there. In some corporate parties or professional dinners, her dad had always took her with him. Back then she did not know he was Swayam's dad, and she at the first place did not know who Swayam Shekhawat was. And even if she knew, she would have never believed Rishi to be so careless towards his son. Rishi Shekhawat was a pure gentle man and really humble. Though she never talked to him except some hello Hi, she had felt he was really good. Swayam never spoke about his dad. And she did not want him to. His friends were enough to support him and motivate him. The Swayam Shekhawat who had supported her since the first time she had broke in front of him, needed her then and Sharon, being the Sharon Rai Prakash she was, had to however stand by his side. It was not a compulsion, but a need both for Sharon and Swayam.
By the time Sharon came out of her thoughts, She noticed that Swayam was still staring blankly to the wall with same intensity, anger and pain. He was broken and with annual day so near she could not take the risk of Swayam backing out. He had to dance. She would make him dance anyways. Sharon even did not know if he had informed it to Simmi. Mustering up all her courage and taking a long breath, Sharon composed herself, strong and lightly touched Swayam's tear stained cheeks. "Simmi ko bataya?" Sharon asked. Which brought Swayam out of his reverie. He had already stopped crying, but still sad, Sharon could see. Having Sharon by his side, He had calmed down a bit. He knew she was really tensed for him and it was last thing he could stand. He already had loads of bad things piled up and he did not want to add one more torture to his list. "No. Nahi bataya. I'll say to her later. I just want you to stay beside me for now." Swayam said, his voice as innocent and soft as a three years old. As Sharon realized what he said she was left wide eyed. She dared not ask him why. "Ok then.. Chalo.." Sharon said, standing on her feet and straightening her skirt. "Huh?" Swayam stared at Sharon, surprised. "Where?" He asked. "Don't ask questions. Just come." Sharon said, happy that Swayam was showing at least a bit interest in her words. "I don't want to." Swayam replied bluntly. "I know that you very well know I'm a lot more stubborn than you.. Come or you know my ways.." Sharon said, glint of mischief in her eyes. "Whatever.." Swayam gave a I don't care look. Giving up, Sharon once again settled beside Swayam. "Look here Swayam." Sharon said firmly. He sensed something weird and without arguing, faced her. "Close your eyes." Sharon commanded again. "But why?" Swayam asked, getting nervous. "Swayam. Close. Your. Eyes." Sharon commanded once again, this time more firmly. He, without uttering a single word, did what GS was asked to do. Sharon slowly leaned forward and rested her forehead on his. There was a indescribable sensation that passed through both their spines. Though it was not the first time they felt it, but this time it was something huge. "Now, listen to me." Sharon said softly to him. "Swayam, you can dance..." Sharon started. Swayam was about to interrupt but Sharon hushed him. "Believe me Swayam, you can. Tumne, maine.. We both have seen and suffered a lot.. You lost your mom. I lost both my dad and mom. Memories fade I know, even the gaps they leave get filled, but the pain will remain fresh forever. Both you and me used dance as a way to escape the daily haunting. I felt haunted Swayam. I felt I was crazy sometimes. Initial days when dad went, I used to cry myself to sleep. Did not eat my food. I was weak. I even visited a psychiatrist. Even Simmi does not know about it. When the doctor after numerous questions had decided that I was all well and fit, it took me much time to accept it. All I used to do was dance. Believe me Swayam, I know our heart is shattered. And dance is like a bandage which still holds the pieces together. Maybe not in perfect shape, but it does work doesn't it? Be it anger or pain or hurt.. But we feel, don't we? Don't let that bandage loosen Swayam. Just because you have asthma does not mean you cannot dance. It means that god has sent one more challenge on your way to make you more stronger. If life breaks your heart to hundreds of pieces, then make each piece as strong as your heart was before breaking. All you need is practice. Yaa, sometimes you may feel uneasy or maybe you'd even need to gasp for just breathing, but remember, at the end of the day, you will master it anyways. I'm always by your side Swayam, just remember that others are too. Trust me.. You can dance.." Sharon said, very silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Even Swayam, his eyes closed was letting them flow.
Swayam had always known Sharon was a lot more deeper than she actually showed to be, but never knew that she was this deep. Slowly opening his eyes, He could see relief among many emotions in Sharon's eyes. Relief of letting it all go. The thing which she had bottled up had all come out today. Swayam was gazing to Sharon's eyes and Sharon into Swayam's. Sharon slowly leaned forward and her lips slowly touched his. Swayam did not push away. He knew it was the need of the moment.Though it all happened in a trance, both Sharon and Swayam knew what they were doing, and though they knew they would feel awkward later on but both of them were the ones who lived in the present, taking it as a gift. Later would come later, future was always far away for them. They live today And they savored the moment, feeling the intensity of each other and The warmth of the lips.
Edited by VrushanianAdity - 01 July 2015 at 10:16am