Posted: 19 June 2015 at 11:49pm | IP Logged
Healing of the hurt Souls.
The chirping of the birds in the distant trees and a pleasant morning, Sun-rays peeping through the slightly open windows. The crowd bustling with enthusiasm and energy in the early morning. All happening so near, yet so far.
Sharon finally stirred. I was so scared for her. I know I am responsible for all that happened, is happening and will happen, but I can do nothing except to apologize right? Damm me.
I rang the bell, I knocked on the door, I banged the windows and what not, but Sharon had not opened the door today morning. There were two possibilities, either Sharon was awake and angry or was sitting in a corner and must have cried herself to sleep. Among which the second one was more likely as far as I know her. And I was so true. I opened the door with the spare keys I had and went to her room. He sight in front of me scared me. Not shock me. It scared me. There was Sharon in a corner, though her face was not visible, I could see she her clothes were soaked. There was a slight odor coming from her, which smelt like wet mud, grass and.. Well the third one was not possible. She must have fever. I knew she had got wet in the rain, and probably wore the soaked clothes to sleep. Crazy, stupid, idiot girl. Thinks she can handle everything. Her head was between her knees, her hair all messy and tangled. Her head slowly rose up and she slowly opened her eyes. Her cheeks were tear stained and her eyes so red that I turned pale seeing it. I gave her time to adjust to the light. Her eyes must be burning. Again, damm me. I slowly went near her. My voice refusing to come out. I held her by shoulder, and literally I could feel touching a fire ball. She stiffened a bit, and I whispered her name. "I'm sorry." Was all I could say after that. I could feel hot tears streaming down my eyes. This was all because of me.
I'm sorry Sharon.
I opened my eyes and all I could see was the brightness around me. I could feel my eyes burning and a sharp pain shot up through my head as I tried to lift it up. It did not take even a moment for me to realize that, I had cried myself to sleep. As I got adjusted, I knew I was not alone in my room. But I was way too tired to notice anyone. I felt cold and hot at the same time. I knew I had fever. Who wouldn't? After sitting in the rain for nearly two hours.. Who wouldn't fall sick?? And I had not even bothered to change my clothes. I knew I smelt awful. That's when I felt a cold hand around me. I knew who it was. I could feel her hot tears falling on my already boiled body. I tried moving my hand, but it was of no use. I was stiff and moving even a inch felt as if I was lifting a fifty kg weight. She caught me and I could hear her continuous chanting of "I'm sorry." She was sobbing. Hard. That moment, it struck me. I had hurt her even more bad than what she had to me. Well, she did not hurt me, just said the truth. What she said was fact. And I could not blame her for those words. Even I have said so many things to her when I'm angry or frustrated. I did not realize it myself though. Surprisingly, the person who made me understand was the same person whom I thought would never understand. And well, the burning eye and killing headache, as you all must have guessed was not because of Simmi. It was because of the fear that her words had left on my heart. I knew Simmi was going nowhere, she would not leave me. But what about the person whom I could feel was slowly nearing me. The person for whom my heart had started building a soft corner. The person who, despite of himself being so hurt had made me understand Simmi... What about him??... The fear had made my condition so worse... Keeping the thoughts aside, I raised my hand, this time bit more easily and wiped the continuous flowing tears from her eyes. It's ok. Don't blame yourself. I whispered to her, slowly hugging her.
It's ok Simmi.
Swayam slowly started walking in the rain. The downpour had completely drenched him and for the first time Swayam felt it completely. There was no emotion in him. He was all light and the rain had made the environment too beautiful to be accepted as real. He felt as if he was walking in his dream. The path all green and clear. The smell of wet mud and the clean air like cherry on top. Simmi's word had affected him, obviously but he knew she did not mean it. And what she said was already true, which soothed him a bit. Just as he was passing the trees and admiring their wet form, he noticed a lifeless figure sitting on a bench nearby, her back facing him. He knew who she was. He slowly moved towards her and the nearer he went, sound of her sobbing grew even louder. And he could feel a rush of memories as he heard her cry. The girl whom he had heard crying in the college. The girl whose cry had haunted him ever since he came to St. Louis for admission. And suddenly realized how good she could mask herself up. Swayam went and sat beside her, slowly as if she was a butterfly that would run away if he was too fast. "Simmi did not mean those things" Swayam softly said to her. She was surprised at first but relaxed after knowing who was it. "I know. But I'm scared. Darr lagta hai Swayam. Aaj tak jisko bhi Pyarr kiya hai, wo humesha mujhse door chala jata hai. And Simmi's words were like a reflection to my thoughts. Those words triggered my fear even more." She said, still sobbing. She was shocked with her own words. But little did she care. She knew this guy, who was sitting beside her now, could read her inside out just through one glance. He was suffering the same and as she understood his deep dark brown eyes, there was no use hiding hers to him as well. Few minutes ago, when she had thought about him, she had that fear. "If he'll come, I'll loose him too." She feared bringing people close to her. And once they were near, she feared she'll loose them. Her life was like a pendulum, constantly swinging between the perimeter of fear of gaining and loosing. "I can understand that. Pata hai mujhe how does it feel. But socho, isn't it the truth what Simmi said to us? Remember, truth is always harsh. Jo bhi Simmi ne kaha, it was not intended to hurt us, in fact as far as I know her, it was to teach us something. Seriously. Think over it. We both have already lost so many near ones. Haven't we? What Simmi said, isn't it the fact?" Swayam said, trying to convince her. "And please ab don't cry. You are strong. Don't you dare break your image." He added, in a frim yet soft and caring tone.
Your tears are too precious Sharon.
Swayam stood up and went. And Sharon was left once again all alone on the bench. She now felt a bit lighter. But the constant fear that she had, made her once again break down.
The rain was too heavy and Sharon had felt like sleeping on the bench itself. She was still crying and the sky had already turned dark. Sharon somehow stood up and went her home, even not bothering to eat or change, she went to her room and collapsed, crying and sobbing herself to sleep.
And that was how she ended up all feverish and soaked up the next morning, Simmi hugging her and blaming herself for Sharon's condition. Sharon wondered where Swayam would be.
Probably dancing in the rehearsal hall. She thought.