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ArHi FF: Revealed #3 | Link to Thread 4 Pg 1 (Page 66)

just4this Goldie
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Posts: 1760

Posted: 27 May 2015 at 11:46am | IP Logged
Very sensitive update must say u have written very well ,portrayed their pain very well
.
Hope this little Angel will bring her parents together.
Pls translate the Italian version in English in brackets dear.
Thank u 

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Chokri_ASR

Mirabell Senior Member
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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Bhavi

Res
After reading the update I am just confused as to if the technology has made us crippled? When i had conceived the only time i had Ultra sound done was at the 3rd month and then 7th month i think siting that its bad for babies. So people beside myself was not that much attached to the child physically because they can not see it or hear it only thing was they can feel when the child would move. They could only hear the heart beat at my monthly check up. So were this couple connected to their child at this level was due to the technology or is this every parent who undergoes miscarrying child have same emotions?

Bhavi.. I think I understand what you are saying here. Technology is a new[er] addition to our lives. Miscarriages have happened before and grief for such loss has been in existence as well. Perhaps it is easier on our hearts to find recourses on things that we seem to have control on. As far as I know, miscarriages are nature's way of dealing with an unviable fetus. however this does not mitigate the loss or grief.

Another point is that these days we do not listen to our parents. I know my mom and MIL were so strict that we were not allowed to even buy a piece of cloth for the child before they born citing that its an apshakun. I know i am sounding like the oldies here but reading your update it tells me that they were right at their placeConfused as this will lead to difficulty in getting out of the undesired phase if God forbid something goes wrong with the child.

Each culture has a set of its belief systems that have been passed down from ages. I guess I understand why people say these 'apshakun' kinda things. Death and loss are not in our control... when things arent in our control we try to find reasons to explain why something happened perhaps?  


I have heard too many people try to place blames on things... and sadly they all come right back to the mother and father of the baby/fetus. Khushi's ultrasounds didnt cause the miscarriage. Their choices to furnish the bedroom did not cause the miscarriage. In my very humble opinion.. like all opinions they may be quite different from others. 

Heart

Alright Writerji...

A bit of love... 




Edited by Mirabell - 27 May 2015 at 12:48pm

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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 12:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mirabell

Originally posted by -Bhavi

Res
After reading the update I am just confused as to if the technology has made us crippled? When i had conceived the only time i had Ultra sound done was at the 3rd month and then 7th month i think siting that its bad for babies. So people beside myself was not that much attached to the child physically because they can not see it or hear it only thing was they can feel when the child would move. They could only hear the heart beat at my monthly check up. So were this couple connected to their child at this level was due to the technology or is this every parent who undergoes miscarrying child have same emotions?

Bhavi.. I think I understand what you are saying here. Technology is a new[er] addition to our lives. Miscarriages have happened before and grief for such loss has been in existence as well. Perhaps it is easier on our hearts to find recourses on things that we seem to have control on. As far as I know, miscarriages are nature's way of dealing with an unviable fetus. however this does not mitigate the loss or grief.

Another point is that these days we do not listen to our parents. I know my mom and MIL were so strict that we were not allowed to even buy a piece of cloth for the child before they born citing that its an apshakun. I know i am sounding like the oldies here but reading your update it tells me that they were right at their placeConfused as this will lead to difficulty in getting out of the undesired phase if God forbid something goes wrong with the child.

Each culture has a set of its belief systems that have been passed down from ages. I guess I understand why people say these 'apshakun' kinda things. Death and loss are not in our control... when things arent in our control we try to find reasons to explain why something happened perhaps?  


I have heard too many people try to place blames on things... and sadly they all come right back to the mother and father of the baby/fetus. Khushi's ultrasounds didnt cause the miscarriage. Their choices to furnish the bedroom did not cause the miscarriage. In my very humble opinion.. like all opinions they may be quite different from others. 

Heart
 

thanks Mira for the response. I am not blaming anyone/anything  here. Its a very natural process and I do understand it. It was just a thought that was this the reason that this couple were still in the state they are after 2 years of their loss?Ermm  What I meant by saying that human mind have to blame someone was related to Khushi who thought that it was her fault. 



No time is enough for a loss. A loss is a loss.  But then one have to move on. 

Would that have been a different story if they did not have a room for a baby?  Would it have been a different story if Arnav did not have recording of those heartbeats? 

May be yes. Because then like every other thing time fades away the memory but with all those in existence they did not have chance to fade away their memory. 


Edited by -Bhavi - 27 May 2015 at 12:46pm

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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 12:47pm | IP Logged
Superb update
Brilliantly written

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Chokri_ASR

Mirabell Senior Member
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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Bhavi

Originally posted by Mirabell

Originally posted by -Bhavi

Res
After reading the update I am just confused as to if the technology has made us crippled? When i had conceived the only time i had Ultra sound done was at the 3rd month and then 7th month i think siting that its bad for babies. So people beside myself was not that much attached to the child physically because they can not see it or hear it only thing was they can feel when the child would move. They could only hear the heart beat at my monthly check up. So were this couple connected to their child at this level was due to the technology or is this every parent who undergoes miscarrying child have same emotions?

Bhavi.. I think I understand what you are saying here. Technology is a new[er] addition to our lives. Miscarriages have happened before and grief for such loss has been in existence as well. Perhaps it is easier on our hearts to find recourses on things that we seem to have control on. As far as I know, miscarriages are nature's way of dealing with an unviable fetus. however this does not mitigate the loss or grief.

Another point is that these days we do not listen to our parents. I know my mom and MIL were so strict that we were not allowed to even buy a piece of cloth for the child before they born citing that its an apshakun. I know i am sounding like the oldies here but reading your update it tells me that they were right at their placeConfused as this will lead to difficulty in getting out of the undesired phase if God forbid something goes wrong with the child.

Each culture has a set of its belief systems that have been passed down from ages. I guess I understand why people say these 'apshakun' kinda things. Death and loss are not in our control... when things arent in our control we try to find reasons to explain why something happened perhaps?  


I have heard too many people try to place blames on things... and sadly they all come right back to the mother and father of the baby/fetus. Khushi's ultrasounds didnt cause the miscarriage. Their choices to furnish the bedroom did not cause the miscarriage. In my very humble opinion.. like all opinions they may be quite different from others. 

Heart
 

thanks Mira for the response. I am not blaming anyone/anything  here. Its a very natural process and I do understand it. It was just a thought that was this the reason that this couple were still in the state they are after 2 years of their loss?Ermm  What I meant by saying that human mind have to blame someone was related to Khushi who thought that it was her fault. 

No time is enough for a loss. A loss is a loss.  But then one have to move on. 

Would that have been a different story if they did not have a room for a baby?  Would it have been a different story if Arnav did not have recording of those heartbeats? 

I think thats what I was attempting to say in my earlier post (which I screwed up trying to attach a gif LOL).. that the story wouldnt be any different. The  presence/absence of room, or without/with recording of heartbeat does not change the fact that miscarriages are not things one can control.

I do understand that people FIND MEANINGS in these things to assuage their hearts.

May be yes. Because then like every other thing time fades away the memory but with all those in existence they did not have chance to fade away their memory. 

Heart


Edited by Mirabell - 27 May 2015 at 12:58pm

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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 1:06pm | IP Logged
Again we are at logger heads hereLOL You are talking about the incident whereas I am talking about the effect of the incident.
CheersSmile

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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 1:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Bhavi

Again we are at logger heads hereLOL You are talking about the incident whereas I am talking about the effect of the incident.
CheersSmile

So, to get out of our logger heads.. let me try again:

If by effect you mean miscarriage - this is what I understood from your comment
  1. You were talking about the effects of the incident and its potential causes
    1. incident - miscarriage
    2. (potential) causes - ultrasound, recording of heart beat
  2. You tried to connect the effect to the cause by speculating about how old[er] women and our culture has restrictions on what pregnant women can and cannot do. For example - you had only two ultra sounds.. and folks dont buy things for the baby until after the baby is born etc.,
  3. I contested that. Bas. Wink
Heart



Edited by Mirabell - 27 May 2015 at 1:13pm

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Posted: 27 May 2015 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mirabell

Originally posted by -Bhavi

Again we are at logger heads hereLOL You are talking about the incident whereas I am talking about the effect of the incident.
CheersSmile

So, to get out of our logger heads.. let me try again:

If by effect you mean miscarriage - this is what I understood from your comment
  1. You were talking about the effects of the incident and its potential causes
    1. incident - miscarriage
    2. (potential) causes - ultrasound, recording of heart beat
  2. You tried to connect the effect to the cause by speculating about how old[er] women and our culture has restrictions on what pregnant women can and cannot do. For example - you had only two ultra sounds.. and folks dont buy things for the baby until after the baby is born etc.,
  3. I contested that. Bas. 
Heart


No way ... This is the blind faith you are talking aboutShocked 
Incident - is Miscarriage
Effect of incident is: the way the couple is dealing it. 

Who am I to even judge the potential cause. That is up to the professionals and not the folk tale.Approve




Edited by -Bhavi - 27 May 2015 at 1:15pm

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