Posted: 12 May 2015 at 5:28pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mirabell
Originally posted by kushikumari
Originally posted by mints23
@ bold, i have wondered that too. unless she just cannot bring herself to discuss personal issues with anyone? that is a really sad way to be, but unfortunately there are people like that.
@ red, my understanding is that while arnav lost himself in his project, kushi quietly withdrew. and it definitely didn't help that she didn't open a discussion about the other woman, but instead accused him... i understand that losing a parent is tough and each one handles it differently. and patience is what is needed to help them get back on track. true, a lot of one's attempts might be ignored. but remembering it is a phase that will eventually come to pass is necessary. the goal is to help the other person and that is the only thing that should matter.
and regarding arnav not being aware of the happenings in kushi's life, i truly don't find it strange or unacceptable. my husband has a very demanding job, and he is a workaholic. for all important matters, his side of the family leave their messages with me, because they know - either he won't remember or won't respond in time. over the years, i have taken on all the responsibility, learnt to filter what he needs to know and what can wait. and i am not alone, quite a few of my cousins, and friends are in the same boat. and we are ok with it, with no sadness attached. it helps the men stay focused, and not worry unnecessarily. i guess it is the mind set. we can work to strengthen the ties or let it snag. but lack of communication, expecting one to read minds should never be acceptable.
I have always surprised myself every time the things I choose to share with my best friend (we go back so many decades that if I told you how many I would be carbon-dating myself! ) and things I choose not to, not because I don't trust her to keep her confidence. Friendships and marriages are very different things. They never remain static (in the sense that) they change with time, age, and experience and friends change too, although what is fundamentally the same will always remain. And when I do tell her about something that happened a while ago, she knows that I chose not to confide in her at that time. And most importantly, she understands. Marriages are the toughest things to understand, and this is, of course, my opinion. If there is a manual out there that seems to work for all couples I would love to know! I just felt like joining this conversation briefly... I am so glad that this story is making people talk! That's the power of the story itself, but most importantly, it is the calibre of writing that gets people out of the woodwork! So, Kudos to you my Writerji! You have all of us talking about things that are making us think, push our buttons!!
i don't share everything with my friend all the time either! i especially do when i need to know if my actions/ thoughts are ok, or need to be revisited! new friends come in, and somehow we connect. some old friends remain, not all. and sometimes all we need is a sounding board. there is one friend now, who listens, thinks over and calls me back with a non biased view. very rare, a treasure i intend to keep...
marriage to me, is just two people living together and making every day work. be it with what each has to do for themselves, or the house, or as a couple.. to name a few. challenging definitely, given that it is two different personalities with different opinions coming together. i like figuring out and trying to do the right thing. not so sure i would like a manual, mira! won't that be boring? besides wouldn't that prompt us into doing something out of the box (or book)?
Edited by kushikumari - 12 May 2015 at 5:36pm