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ArHi FF: Revealed #3 | Link to Thread 4 Pg 1 (Page 12)

Chokri_ASR IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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Edited by Chokri_ASR - 01 March 2016 at 2:04pm

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chotidesi IF-Dazzler
chotidesi
chotidesi

Joined: 01 December 2013
Posts: 4786

Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:19am | IP Logged
She smiled, caressing his hair away from his face, then leaned down to kiss him. Despite the dim light, his heart skipped a beat, as a tear trailed down her cheeks.  She blinked and sighed, leaving back for the bed. She laid down with him cradled in her arms, pulling the covers over them.

This chapter touched me. The moment above completely melted my heart- her affection for him, the shadow of Arnav standing at the door in the dull glow of the light, watching her... it's mesmerizing. You captured this love so well- it's such a different kind of love, one that just warms you all over. The warmth between Khushi, Arnav and Akhil and Aakash is so palpable. They treat them as their own children, and their affection for them is so beautiful to watch. The moment when Arnav and Khushi walk in was just so vivid for me-because it reminded me of someone I love very very dearly :)


And seeing him with the children today, she had one thought in her mind... but with a heavy heart she pushed it aside. 

She stared at him, and instantly, his lips curved up in a wide smile, as he winked at her. She couldn't help but smile, before turning her attention back to dinner.


But what I loved the most was the change in Arnav and Khushi's relationship that Akhil and Aakash brought-especially in the lines above. It's intimacy without being overt, just a shared moment that belongs to just the two of them. 


It was as if a switch was turned on, that elusive light at the end of the tunnel brought by these two children. It was magical to watch- the little moments they shared as they watched Akhil and Aakash was... something special. That pride was infectious- you have us feeling their pride when Aakash builds the tower, the sly satisfaction when Arnav tricks them into eating broccoli, oh- it was so lovely, so real. 


You did a stellar job with this chapter, Di. The parental love juxtaposed with their love for each other was breathtaking. It might just lead me to forgive you for that cliffhanger. Might. 


Love always, always, always,
Choti. 


Edited by chotidesi - 12 May 2015 at 10:02am

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jduke IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:19am | IP Logged

Looks like Arnav got immersed in work and ignored Kushi and Kushi waited for him to return to her but Arnav got engrossed in more and more work and Kushi gave up ? is that it? Without communication or confrontation that she religiously follows at work?


How did she not even think of calling him?

After reading the above line and the context I am wondering is it like Kushi kept everything to herself and did everything on her own without letting Arnav know anything? Is she just lost in being independent and making every decision alone? Or something else?


"It's been two years since..."

Arnav and Kushi both want baby and looks like they even almost had one two years ago? Did Kushi miscarried or had Ectopic pregnancy Or something else happened?


I just loved Arnav, Kushi and their bonding with kids. They both are so nice and cute with kids. Also like this "Kiss...Baby" idea WinkLOL

 

Now with this cliffhanger how can we survive one more week Cry



Edited by jduke - 12 May 2015 at 3:48pm

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Arshi67 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:19am | IP Logged
Tongue
************

Jigs a very interesting glimpse into the clear demarcation of her professional and personal life in Khushi's mind. But the fact that she's pondering on this very compartmentalising of the logical and emotional parts of her, is a very good sign. The best way to deal with fear is to confront it and it seems that's just what she's looking to do in accepting that they "talked to each other to determine what they wanted from this marriage going forward".

Haayee what a vision to be greeted by on reaching home. A far cry from the resounding sound of silence and loneliness. An Arnav who's there for her and with her after so long. 

Akhil and Aakash are delightful. It was so heartwarming seeing the bond they share with their Chachu and Ma..si ( I love how he says that to mean just what the term implies - Maa jaisee) The two rambunctious kids lightening the atmosphere for all the adults there. 

Arnav and Khushi's nurturing instincts so beautifully brought out in their dealings with the kids. The love they have have for them heartwarming to see. Both the kids confident in the love they sense and responding to it. 

Out of the mouth of babes ... Jigs the depth of emotion you conveyed in the mostly silent conversation between the two was beautiful. I could feel the myriad emotions churning between them. Some things between the two just don't need verbalising. And then seeing Khushi with the painful tear making it's way down her face, kya hua 2 years back? A sense of foreboding fills me. I know that they need to confront the issues facing them, but the opening questions by both of them left me gasping. 

And you choose to leave us here? Really? Like really really? Choti's hmphf.



Edited by Arshi67 - 14 May 2015 at 1:07am

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canapoem IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:20am | IP Logged
Jigs, every update I shed a few tears and my heart aches after reading it. And then I wonder how it would be to imagine and write them, such is the power of your sentences.

 Khushi's heart is so fragile now, she is too scared to take even one step towards working on her marriage lest it gets broken again. What if she starts building hopes again and what if the hopes are crushed again, will she be able to take that disappointment, that kind of pain and sorrow if things do not work out between them.
 
 As the saying goes "Once bitten twice shy", is it not human nature to hold back to take a second chance at relationships if your heart has been broken once. Khushi is exactly at that position in life now. The gap or distance that has been created between them is too wide to cover it in one go. Actually its too scary to even think of bridging it.

 Why did Arnav and Khushi allow this kind of a wide gap to come inbetween them? Why is he realising this so late? Can someone ignore their own spouse for months or years together at a stretch?

How did she not even think of calling him?

The gap is so wide that the thought of calling her husband to inform of her decisions or her itinerary which is so natural for normal couples is unnatural here.  

"It's been two years since..."

What happened Jigs two years back??? Akhil is four and half years now, so essentially they were trying to have a baby from that long. Then did Khushi conceive and have a miscarriage? Is it not two  years ago when Arnav's mom died? Does both of these have some connection?


 For any woman, motherhood is the greatest joy she can experience. Khushi is suffering from not having a child of her own. It is quite evident. But what about Arnav? Does he want a baby too, badly? Did they start drifting apart after her miscarriage?

Now waiting to know more about what happened two years ago?


Edited by canapoem - 12 May 2015 at 6:17pm

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maina95131 Senior Member
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:20am | IP Logged
Jigs thank you so much for writing revealed. I do wonder how much toll it takes on you to write such an intense topic. 

I'm really enjoying the discussions that are taking place with this topic.

While we can be confident in our profession but when it comes to the personal front insecurities can creep in that prevents one from opening up. Maybe the relationships that she has with her family keeps her from opening up with her friends.

Arnav is making an effort so she will need to start opening up to him. Even if she decides to divorce him (not that it's going to happen) she still needs to be honest with him. 

I can see how khushi can forget to call Arnav. Even though they lived in the same house they both have lead separate lives. 

Loved the the interactions with kids. The scene reminded of my nephew. Kids say the darnedest things. Kids can be more observant than we give them credit for. Omg kids are so smart these days that leaves me shaking my head. 

So they did want kids and were trying. What happened?

Kids or no kids, couple do drift apart to certain extent. If couples don't make conscious effort everyday to keep the connection then you end up with Revealed. I know couples with kids and kids are the only things at are keeping them together. Without kids they are strangers. Some of my friends tell me that it's good they kids as distractions.



Edited by maina95131 - 12 May 2015 at 10:23pm

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Mirabell Senior Member
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:22am | IP Logged
Oh! I am going to have so much to say after I read!
--------------

Nuance is the predominant theme here. It is like you hold so many threads and very effortlessly you weave those threads into this beautiful tapestry. First you begin with Khushi's own reflection [thread] about what she wanted, what she thinks she lost and what she has now. You then beautifully interject Arnav there with his new resolve to fix what was broken between them [thread]. You show us how he is fixing it [thread] and you show how she is conflicted here [thread]...

And you bring kids into the picture. It is a perfect picture, a perfect tapestry of not just what is - these two with Aman and Lavanya's kids, but what could have been!

This is the tapestry and it is so beautifully woven with such a fine nuance. You showed us instead of telling us! I am in awe of your story, your characters and that effortlessness you bring here. You make it look easy, when I know it isnt. Writerji... Maar dala aapne! Clap

I am now firmly ensconced in your tale, bewitched. Heart


Edited by Mirabell - 12 May 2015 at 1:46pm

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-Bhavi IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 12 May 2015 at 9:25am | IP Logged
Just in time or notConfused
Another light one but was the silence before the storm. Happy times with kids as always. Kids especially the ones that you love makes you forget every issues of life with their innocence and inquisitiveness and that's exactly what happened. 

Arnav and Khushi enjoyed their picture perfect family moments while remembering their needs. Although i am yet to know Khushi's story today my heart went for Arnav for few reasons:

1) Khushi is procastinating and is not ready to use the three 'C's of success.
2) She is not ready to voice out I love you even for the pretense. 
3) She has given up for whatever reason she has but has given up.

I am not sure how long can one man go with this fight? ALthough he knows its his mistake i sincerely hope that the man ego does not come in between. 

Jigs the cliffhangerAngry LOL but would say a perfect story for the mother's day weekend as we saw the glimpse of the mother todayBig smile


PS- Beautiful banner Mints- Sanaya as Paro looks stunning here and perfect for this story




Edited by -Bhavi - 12 May 2015 at 10:43am

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