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T3| ArHi FF Second Chances| Note and link to T4, pg 148 (Page 6)

chotidesi IF-Dazzler
chotidesi
chotidesi

Joined: 01 December 2013
Posts: 4786

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
I love the way you've brought these three elderly women together. The beginning of this chapter made me miss India so acutely, right from the spicy notes of the chai my grandmother drinks to the Marie biscuits my mom likes dipping into the chai to my grandfather's filter kaapi and the way my Paati used to go down every Thursday to exchange magazines in the library they created, and... so many memories, evoked by this part of writing. You've brought India to us, and I'm left nostalgic and wanting to sit with them. 

I also love the lines of intimacy that they're uneasily treading. It's like their teetering on a tightrope, and we're holding our breath with them. Khushi's unconscious acknowledgement of that line that she's crossing, knowing that she's sinking in deeper and maybe... doesn't want to pull out. I like that it makes her uncomfortable, I like that Arnav pushes her into that uncomfortable territory and forces her to confront what she doesn't want to. 

But what I like most is that that line is  like a line in the sand that will slowly sink away, washed away by the waves, and I can see them lapping at it already. 


Really well done, as always.

Love,
Choti. :)


Edited by chotidesi - 08 May 2015 at 8:25pm

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Chokri_ASR IF-Rockerz
Chokri_ASR
Chokri_ASR

Joined: 28 September 2012
Posts: 7656

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
Ready... let's go... res Smile

YAY Finally time to unres... let me first apologize for being late, but as I res'd getting on a plane finally to get back home to now as I write my comment, let's just say life has not been so nice. Though when I read the update on the plane, what these three women have had to endure in life of losing their loved ones, finding a young girl in shocked... my hell this week is nothing compared to it. Put's life in perspective, doesn't it? These three while they had their tea, I had my Coke, yes my favorite drink... as they listened to the wonderful sounds of the birds, I had the pleasure of hearing the engines of the plane being in the sky.  I will be honest, I did glance out the window wishing to see the birds and looked around me wishing I was there with them...

So why am I comparing my trip back home to this update? You see the mastery of story telling is to captive the reader to believe they are part of this journey, they are experiencing what you are portraying the emotions with words... and you my yaara are a MASTER! Not many can evoke the emotions you can, so take a bow...Clap  It's not just a story, it's journey that we are all part of, and I am loving what you are giving us piece by piece.


Now let's get to the fun part of the update shall we... really? really? Arnav with only in a towel hung low below his waist... now you had me shifting in my economy seat... the visual... hayee...Day Dreaming  

Come on Jigs act like an adult and let's get through this comment... see just like Khushi, it's freaking hard... so Khushi stop acting like an adult and GO FOR IT! I sure hell would've and I am married with three kids! LOL


Ahhh Love is in the air... I can feel it, and they will get there with Arnav's determination.  But those kids might seal the deal... Mohan, my baccha, you are the sweetest, and let me not forget our cutie pie Meera... who were the stars of the update and made me crave to come home to my three babies!


Brilliant update Writer Guru...Wink  Loved it, the way I love you... Heart

And Happy Mother's day to everyone here!




Edited by Chokri_ASR - 10 May 2015 at 9:11am

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Arshi67 IF-Rockerz
Arshi67
Arshi67

Joined: 09 June 2013
Posts: 9806

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
Res

*************

How beautifully you draw us into the chapter Mirabell. The sights (well ... need I say moreDay Dreaming

) and sounds "The slow addition to the symphony of sounds" of a new day stirring up memories of similar mornings in India. Somnolent household members needing chai and chat to clear away the remnants of sleep from their eyes.  

The image of the three women sharing their grief was so poignantly moving. Several lifetimes of it swirling between them. 

And then you lifted my spirit with Khushi waking up happy. How long it's been since she's felt this simple emotion on first opening her eyes. Just happy. 

Your Meera is an utter darling. So delightfully effervescent even while being endearingly sensitive. The bond that she shares with Arnav is so moving to read, right from the time he first came to visit and she quietly leant against his arm. Evinces a warm tearful smile in me ... every time. 

I loved how you showed us the subtle difference in the way Manorama and Buaji looked at Khushi when Sumttra asked her to call Arnav. One sensing the underlying emotions between the two while the other only aware of what's outwardly obvious. An interesting reflection of both their personalities I thought. One quietly reflective while the other being one who bustles around. 

I'm giggling along with Khushi at a mustachioed Arnav with this dialogue going round in my head "Moonchein ho to Nathulalji jaisi hon"  LOL

Once again I marvel at the way you've written Mohan and Meera. Their interaction a delight to read. And Arnav transmuting his need to touch his child by stroking Meera's curls was so so touching. 

Khushi may have been thinking that she'll spontaneously combust, but it seems the thought has made a "move from her mind to his ears" (Sorry, I'm totally misquoting you here!). Way to go Arnav. I for one will not be complaining if you choose to stay in that aankhon ko thandak giving state for a while longer  Wink  Dhak dhak dhak dhak ... a "cacophony" very different to what we started out with! 



Edited by Arshi67 - 13 May 2015 at 5:00pm

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ManKiBaath Senior Member
ManKiBaath
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Joined: 21 April 2014
Posts: 982

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 4:50pm | IP Logged
Congratulations for thread 3!!
And this is what I call luck Smile

*****************
I have to confess that after reading the chapter last Friday, I was so ready to type in my comments. But the usual dreadful weekend and weekday AD schedule made me push it out and I made a resolve not think about SC the entire weekUnhappy.
 
I am glad to report that my attempt to sticking to that resolve was no better off than Khushi's. I might have left the story but the power of your writing made sure that the story never left me. After a weeks worth of savoring this chapter, I am discovering that there is a special kind of joy in losing some battles that you desperately want to winSmile. I am sure I am in good company of the likes of your Khushi in thisBig smile.  
 
This chapter had a flair of simplicity, yet intriguing from start to finish. It was smooth ride starting with Manorama's early morning introspection to chit chat of the sisterhood of the sorrow and peppy musketeers. I am sure this chapter took every one of your readers to a place hidden deep down where the memories of India and childhood remain safe.  
 
Thanks to your insight into Khushi's background, it makes her present even more appreciable for me. Looks like Khushi's relaxed sleep is indicative of lot more things that are coming her wayWink. She can avoid the looks or avoid the hand or try and act like an adult but she cannot avoid the falling in love that is coming her way.
 
Talking about love, it's hard not to fall in love with the kids. Meera's clinging to Arnav, the shaving chat, kids talk of breaking papa between them - goes to prove that a child's heart is the greatest gift. Cannot wait for more of their antics for the rest of the trip.


Edited by bhavali4RR - 15 May 2015 at 7:30pm

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inamajar Senior Member
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Posted: 08 May 2015 at 5:14pm | IP Logged
Res
ranogill IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 08 May 2015 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
wonderful...both children has accepted each other  and their parents...

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Mirabell

shyamidutt Senior Member
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Joined: 19 September 2005
Posts: 755

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 6:10pm | IP Logged
I was all ready and waiting for the update when my husband came up with lets go see Piku. So instead of siting on my couch and reading and savoring the update I'm standing in line here and reading it sigh! But I can't wait can I ?
You made me crave filter coffee so bad - what wouldn't I do for a cup ( I mean steel tumbler) of good old Kumbakonam degree coffee :)
Beautiful update MB! You words are magic as always. It takes me to another world where I literally live with the characters you are weaving in that story along with them.

Thanks for the kind words and mentioning me in your update. That was an unexpected honor. Thank you and love you!

Edited by shyamidutt - 08 May 2015 at 6:13pm

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canapoem IF-Sizzlerz
canapoem
canapoem

Joined: 15 August 2012
Posts: 13893

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 6:27pm | IP Logged
Mira, another amazing and wonderfully written update. Clap

Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another "What, you too! I thought no one but myself".

-Anonymous 


While reading this update I could only think of one fact of life, how under unusual circumstances, we form strong bonds with almost strangers in unusual ways.

Either be it the friendship between the three elderly women having grief of losing loved ones as a common factor or the budding unusual friendship between the kids each trying to fill the voids in the other person's life, life or fate is indeed strange.

It gives a heart to connect with the wounded heart to heal it, it gives hands to wipe the tears away and it gives a shoulder to lean on in tough times. 

Khushi's past was indeed so sad. Losing parents in an accident and ending up in some stranger's house, and then finally getting reunited back with her aunt, what an ordeal the young child must have faced.

This also gives us a glimpse about Khushi's insecurities and her deep hidden fears.

Love the bond forming between Arnav and Meera too. 

Again life throws so many unexpected bonds in our way. How and when did Meera get attached to Arnav so much???? What is it that has made her heart fill with love and admiration for him??

And the budding friendship between Meera and Mohan always fills the updates with so much joy. Usually kids find it so difficult to share anything which they treasure and love a lot, but Mohan is so much ok to share his father with Meera and even wants her to call him "Papa".

Meera and Mohan are developing such a special bond slowly and it fills my heart with warmth seeing this bond.

And finally Arnav in just a towel flirting with Khushi, Mira are you planning on killing us with such scenes!!! Wink


I thought I will take a break from sharing a song this time, but I could not hold back from sharing the below song with all. 

If life gives us sorrows, then it gives us friends too who can help us in healing our wounded hearts too.





Edited by canapoem - 11 May 2015 at 11:37am

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