Posted: 07 May 2015 at 10:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by beekay1
Originally posted by Maria_Shaukat_9
Sanam is Aahil's legal wife and islamically too. Also whether or not Sanam is still married or not doesn't matter because Shaad is still wrong. He is lying to a woman a who has amnesia and taking advantage of her. He's taking away her right to a choice and wrongly letting her think she's his wife. Even if Aahil and Sanam weren't married it'd still be wrong because he's taking away her rights and Sanam doesn't have free will because she isn't aware of the facts.
Even if Aahil was just her boyfriend or someone she loved and they weren't married it'd still be wrong because Shaad is behaving wrongly with this woman overall. He's wronging her and that has nothing to do with whether she's still married or not. Her being married or not doesn't take away from how wrong his actions are. If she was single it wouldn't mean he's got a free pass to do whatever he wants and lie to her all he wants just because she's single because her being married isn't what make his actions wrong. No woman married or not would want to be in the situation she is right now.
Yes maybe it might be a bit more worse for Sanam because on top of it she loves Aahil and is married to him and would never behave the way she is right now with another man if she knew the truth. It might be worse because on top of it unknowingly you've given the rights of a husband to another man whilst you're still married to someone you deeply love. But her marriage to Aahil isn't what makes his actions so wrong or this a dreadful situation to be in overall. Married or not it's still a dreadful situation to be in because a stranger is making decisions for you that you only have the right to make and is lying to you and keeping you away from your family and you have no choice in anything and aren't aware of anything. He's basically keeping her hostage without her even being aware of it.
Yes, he lied... I'm not denying it...
So it was ok for him to lie to save her life from rioters? As I recall, he didn't want to go on with the lie. He wanted to tell her that she's not his wife... He felt compassion for her when he saw the confusion on her face... He even cooked for her... Should she have been turned out into the streets to hunted down by the rioters again? I guess what happened was that one thing led to another...
Even Shaad does not know the truth... he only knows one thing that he's not married to her...so he was careful in his behaviour towards her even though Sanam wanted more... Once he got to know who Shashi Kapoor was, he can't let her go off just like that... He knows he has to protect her as he was the cause of her life in danger...
I wonder how many of us have experienced amnesia... I have not... a person after they have a heartattack at most times develop amnesia, its terrible to watch them...and what they go through. the sense of loss of identity is something that noone can comprehend until you watch your loved one going through it... even then one can't comprehend.
Shaad gave Sanam a sense of identity... even if it is a false one... Shaad does not know who Sanam really is to tell her truth... so should he just say you are not Jannat and left her grappling for the truth... that would have destroyed Sanam and probably got her to have a permanent loss
But she had a right to know. He lied to her again and again and was willing to use her to catch SK and in fact was kind of hoping she wouldn't get her memory back because she'd forget SK. Yes he looked after her but after giving her a home, he should have distanced himself from her and let others take care of her. She wasn't his responsibility and he was a strange man to her. He should have helped her find her family so that her loved ones who have rights on her could take care of her not shut her file so no one could find her. He should have helped her find her true identity not claim to love Jannat and be like "tum meri Jannat ho" who is someone who doesn't even exist. He should have looked after her without chipkoing her and holding her and holding her hand ect. She has amnesia but he doesn't and is well aware that he isn't her husband so should have been decent and kept his distance but instead he lied to her again and again.
He didn't have to tell her all the truth but he could have at the very least told her that he isn't her husband. She had the right to know and also the reason he didn't tell her isn't because of her because if it was then this would have been addressed. If it was dangerous to her health then this too would have been addressed but in fact the doctor never said anything and he just decided on his own not to tell her first because of SK and then because of himself.
Also if he told her the truth then yes she would have been sad when she found out the truth but she'd slowly have to accept it and want to find out about herself. She'd have to find out someday, I mean she can't stay like this forever so why not tell her right away rather than lying to her and further distressing when she does find out the truth increased by the lies and deception? It's a distressing situations either way but Shaad's decisions are making it worse in the long run. He's confusing her even more because he's telling her all these lies and they don't match her memories or what she's feelings or starting to remember. She's seeing people and doesn't realise why she's getting a weird feeling around them and feelings (her feelings at Shaad's house about someone missing her and not feeling right there) and not knowing why. She'll start getting distressed because Shaad's confused her and she's getting feelings and memories of another man. She won't tell Shaad because he's her supposed "husband." His decisions and choices are isolating and distressing her probably even more than if he told her the truth right away which she deserves to know. She's going to find out the truth sooner or later so why not now? She can't live in a web of lies all her life.
And when she does find out the truth his lies and the way she's behaved around him will make it worse. She'll feel betrayed and like she can't trust anyone because of him. You are talking about amnesia patients but I'm pretty sure one of the biggest things some amnesia patients suffer with is lack of trust because they don't have their own memories to back up what people are saying. They need to learn to trust people completely which is hard. They feel scared that someone is taking advantage of them and lying to them and they don't have their own memories to guide them so surely Shaad doing exactly that and taking advantage of the trust she gave him isn't a good idea? She'll feel so distrustful when she finds out that she's been lied to all this time. Surely it's not a good idea to play with an amnesia patients mind like that. You have to tread lightly with an amnesia patient not make decisions that could hurt them twice as bad in the long run.
Yes he helped her and saved her but that does not make what he's done after okay. If you save someone it doesn't mean you suddenly have rights on them and are entitled to keep them through deception.
Edited by Maria_Shaukat_9 - 07 May 2015 at 10:30am