Balika Vadhu


Balika Vadhu
Balika Vadhu

Taking kids for granted

leavesandwaves IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 February 2009
Posts: 17724

Posted: 06 May 2015 at 9:55pm | IP Logged
Seeing shivam cry so much leaving BH, I felt anandi should have stayed in her own house in Udaipur. At that time she gave more importance to others than her own son. Why make shivam attached to some paraya house and then uproot him abruptly? The child was putting back those clothes and was inconsolable. And anandi wants him to listen to her without questioning and without tantrums. When adults start quarelling, it is the children who suffer.

Parents think that kids are puppets and they can manipulate them any way the like. They are shocked when kids start questioning parents decisions and start to rebel.

It is not easy to parent.

When mannu knows about the truth, he will also feel uproted.

And nimboli is already reeling under this effect. Uprootment and rootlessness.

Amol felt it when his real parents claimed him back.

surabhi01 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 16 February 2012
Posts: 15156

Posted: 06 May 2015 at 10:33pm | IP Logged
by next Saturday mannu will come to know truth that ratan is his father .

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RTee IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 June 2004
Posts: 11844

Posted: 06 May 2015 at 10:55pm | IP Logged
Anandi would never have uprooted her son if she had not perceived the general scenario going downhill.

She knows he will be hurt, he will cry. 

So do kids when they move with their parents to another city, if parents get transferred.

And she knows that his feelings will be temporary and he will settle down to a new routine. Kids do.

And in this case, it is only his place of stay that will change. He will have the same friends, same school.

But she also knows that she will be able to console him. Just not here. Explaining anything to Shivam now will be like talking to a brick wall. 

His hurt and his pain must be hurting her too.

But she is well aware that if she gives in to him, the future repercussions on relationships all around will be much worse.

Now that DadiSa has finally agreed to release Anandi from living in BH, she does not want to lose a moment in moving out. 

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jayshree1942 Goldie

Joined: 20 January 2015
Posts: 1151

Posted: 07 May 2015 at 12:20am | IP Logged
Agree with leavessandwaves.
When anandi decided to join singh family she should have stick to the point i will stay in outhouse.

so that shivam would have not so much attached to singh family.

After watching shivam - Anandi scene , i really felt Anandi dont know how to tackle children. flashback came in my mind of amol scene, how shiv realise the need of handicap amol then anandi.

second thing - i think anandi has not told about his father to shivam, who was he? how was he? why shiv niketan is formed. if she would have done this then shivam would have not said shivniketan is not my home. 

I think shivam dont have any friend other than dadisa. Not in reality but in talking atleast shivam should not that her aunty saanchi leaves in udaypur. It would have divided his attention. 

Lagata hai in 11 years mein shivam knows only one relation dadisa dadisa and dadisa.

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Stalwart. Goldie

Joined: 18 October 2012
Posts: 1610

Posted: 07 May 2015 at 1:27am | IP Logged

I think almost all female characters of BV failed as mothers somewhere or the other.

Right from Dadisa to Anandi & Ganga. Including Meenu who foolishly gave away her newborn (Shiv) to Ira when Alok emotionally blackmailed her.

Now the focus is on Anandi, Ganga & Harki.

Harki is one cruel woman, who is biased and has blind love for her son. A shameless woman who being a mother was part of Nandini kidnap and child marriage.

Anandi put her daughter in danger and she failed to protect her. She couldn't trace out her lost child. Now she'll shift out of BH after 11 years but did she even think what impact it will have on Shivam. Is he any doll or her luggage bag that she lifts and places wherever she want and whenever she needs? 

Ganga did her post graduation in medical science but still behaves like a typical insensible woman. She wants to protect her child from her evil past but why doesn't she realize there are high chances of mannu getting to know the truth through others even if her family doesn't reveal anything to him. What she would have done if Ratan Singh or his mother reveal everything to him without her knowledge? What she'll do if someone presents a different version of her past before mannu?

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aparnauma IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 03 September 2011
Posts: 35838

Posted: 07 May 2015 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
None of them have been shown to be insensitive mothers.
All these failings from all these women happened unintentionally or despite their best intentions.

I would put them down to human errors.

Ganga's worries as a mother are understandable but the way she is dealing with them will bring nothing but more trouble.

Sure Mannu should be spending time on his studies extracurricular activities and hang out with friends and not devote his time to one girl at the expense off all the things that he should be doing at his age and the responsibilities he has at this age namely focusing on academics.Instead of restricting Pooja she could have let them spend time together at their place when they are at home or at Pooja's place under her mother's supervision.So that they can keep an eye on them and keep things strictly at friendship level or make sure he invited his other friends too so taht they are not alone 

Mannu is young he shouldn't be made to deal with the burden of his mother's past at this age.
But Ganga could have just told him that her marriage with Jagya is her second marriage and he is the son of her first husband who has given up claims on him and now Jagya is his father.She need tell him at this stage about how her first marriage had been and how bad her first husband been.Because that is too much for him at this age.

Abhi does feel that he is not getting his share of love and affection and time from his father and grandmother and to complicate things Shivam outshines him at school and sports.She could have just told him to focus on what he is good at and directed his attention to that instead of teling him indirectly thta she will get him a better toy than Shivam's mother got for Shivam indirectly telling him to do better than Shivam. She herself is trying to do one up against Anandi saying that she will get a much better one that Anandi got for her son - What kind of a message will her son get from this?

It could be the insecurity in Ganga with regard to her relationships with her husband and fear of her past that may be influencing the way she is dealing with her problems with children
Anandi well she may not be insecure or someone who compares herself with others but she fails to strike a balance between helping others and protecting her own interests.She has no sense of self preservation 
Anandi did stop so many child marriages before she even braved bullets in the process and the same way she faced Ratan Singh's bullets while trying to get hold of Mannu. She doesn't fear for herself or she doesn't care about her safety while doing something she believes is right.

But her biggest fear is seeing her loved ones in danger or fear of being separated from her loved ones. The nightmare in which she saw Palash killing off Shiv put so much of irrational fear in her  

While taking the child with her was a bad decision she had been careful to stay out of the firing.
She almost succeeded but she only had to see Akhera approching her with that menacing look and she ran like headless chicken which resulted in kidnap.

It is her fear for the lives of her loved ones which made her lose Nandini.

It is not that Ganga, Anandi or Dsa have failed as mothers but it is those specific weaknesses in the personality or their own weaknesses that made them fail in their duty as mothers in that particular incident.

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aparnauma IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 03 September 2011
Posts: 35838

Posted: 07 May 2015 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
On Anandi Shivam
Yes Anandi was made to shift against her will to BH but at that time she herself concluded that she is a failure as a mother and felt that she should take the help of others as suggested by Dsa and Daddu.

Don't think Anandi should be blamed for shifting to BH because she is only doing what the head of her family and her well wisher  in that family  Daddu who thought and acted in the best interests of her had told her to do.
So it was not Anandi's decision but it was Shekhar's decision that Anandi bring's up Shekhar faily heir with the help of Singhs.

Yes she found that she felt like she didn't belong in BH anymore for various reasons  even though she had rights to live there as a member of the family.

Probable reasons for that she knew after getting married to Shiv and living and sharing his life makijng his home her home she knew what her home should be like and BH can never be that.

Ganga assured her that there won't be problems Dsa put her foot down and probably Anandi herself is too weary to protest.

Then as time went by she has been seeing that there is not enough space for two families and saw Shivam being pampered by Dsa and becoming a brat and also her own need to bring up her child according her own ways - She must have been feeling this way for a few years now and finally Dsa's eyes opened to reality.

Coming to telling truth to Shivam - Again how much should be told? I'm sure he knows he has a twin sister who is kidnapped.

While revealing truths I think parents should be careful about telling them only what they can undretsnad and digest at that age.

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jayshree1942 Goldie

Joined: 20 January 2015
Posts: 1151

Posted: 08 May 2015 at 12:08am | IP Logged
I dont think if shivam will come to know he has twin sister and she is kidnaped it will make in problem , rather shivam will feel sorry for her mother.
problem for shivam and abhi is that - when they will come to know what is the real relation between anandi-jagya.

but yes now they r too small to understand this relation. so may be later on shivam abhi definately come to know about this.

Yes anandi staying in badi haveli is decision of daddu and she joined bh but anandi is sensible character and she was also smelling that something may happen in future from last 11 years.
as anandi is most perfect character as shown till now - she should have left bh after coming to bh in few moths. that time no one would have felt bad, dadisa ko bhi problem nahi hoti, shivam bhi itna attach nahi hota.

But Anandi apprach was i think - chalo chal raha hai , she had let go approach.

Anyway but one thing is sure Anandi has not spend quality time with shivam, shivam need better upbringing , i dont find in Anandi a mother who is guiding force to his child.

Rather i think anandi is too busy with her social work that she is fail to give time to shivam and his development.

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