Thank you for the interesting topic Kavita. 😊
Yes, I agree, I don't think the term 'ex-mom' exists.
However, every individual in the world do not have the same experiences life. There are some people for whom their mother is a irreplaceable person in their lives. But then there are also some people who for various reasons do not have any form of connection or attachment to their biological mother. And I am speaking from personal experience here.
Now coming back to the show, Gopi is a very big example of the second kind. She does not seem to have any connection with her biological mother. She considers Kokila as her mother. When Kokila was on her death bed, Gopi made it very clear that under no circumstances can she live without her Maaji. But she seems to have no qualms with living without her biological mother. So we could say Gopi has replaced or substituted her biological mother with Kokila, even when her mother came back into her life.
Now coming to Gopi and Meera's relationship, Meera from her POV is not entirely wrong. Yes, she is under the misunderstanding about where Gopi was for the past 10 years and what she did. But when Gopi herself is not willing to tell Meera the truth, how can Gopi expect Meera to understand her?
What I don't get is when Kokila and Gopi firmly believe what Gopi did was right and for the good of the family, why does Gopi carry this fear of telling Meera and Vidya the truth? The way I see it, if you know in your heart what you did was the right thing, then even God is on your side and there is nothing to fear. The fact that she doesn't tell them makes me think that she does not believe she did the right thing.
One more point I want to make is that I think Kokila so far is giving Gopi the wrong advice. Koki wants Gopi to fight for her rights as a wife for her own selfish reasons, so that Gopi and Ahem will patch up, move back to Modi Bhavan and then she can happily go back too. Now if she truly felt Gopi was her daughter, she would have advised her to fight for her rights as a mother first. Meera and Vidya are the ones who have been wronged by both their parents here. Gopi's priority should be to patch up things up with her daughters. Ahem should come second. Isn't that what a mother would do?