Posted: 28 May 2015 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by .TeriYaad.
Originally posted by -.SapnokiRani-.
Sania, meri life barbaad ho chuki hai lol mere pas kuch bhi nai hai, mein bilkul akeli hoon nai koi meri parwa karta hai na meri zinda hone ki fikar hai kisi ko, tum meri help karo aur mujhe batao ki main meri life kaise acha banao? ya toh mujhe marna hai ya is life ko achi banani hai mujeh dono mein se kuch bhi karna nai hai lekin mein eyse nai reh sakti lol
Okay, this may seem like a lecture but you need to hear it all.
I want to start off by telling you about my own similar experience. Remember I said last year was the worst? Well, you know why? Because I lost my two bestest friends. And I'm an introvert. The only people I really talked to were those two girls, and when our friendship fell apart I became a loner. I remember sitting alone during break times. But that was at School. Stuff at home was fine until April 2014.
Something big happened in April, omg I don't even want to recall all that. It was a big family problem. My father started showing hatred towards me. He wanted the entire family to hate me. I had nobody to talk to. And I don't think I wanted to talk really.
I remember we had holidays from School. One day I tried to harm myself. I won't bother you with the details, but I did hurt myself. I wanted to die. I thought nobody wanted me anymore, I thought my life was over.
Then I don't know what or how it happened, but I ended up messaging my favourite teacher (she is like a mother to me). I asked her that would you ever think that I'd try to commit suicide? That worried her. She messaged back with a very touchy reply. When we went back to school, she tried to help me as much she could, but I wasn't ready to talk about the stuff that was happening at home. Anyway she forced me to see our school counsellor...I denied at first but then I thought to give it a go. A few days before I went to see the counsellor...a girl from our school committed suicide. That affected me big time. Cus I saw how upset the entire school was even those who didn't actually know that girl. I realised what a big mistake I was trying to make. I was trying to end my life, a life that should be appreciated.
Since then, I have not thought of ending my life, NO MATTER what happens.
I'm not saying that everything is perfect now, but it is definitely better.
The whole point of this was to tell you that things will get better, trust me. You may feel like everything is over right now, but trust me this phase will end. God doesn't give you more than what you can take.
You are not alone Keenal, you have your family, you have your friends and I am one of them. Our friendship isn't old but after this I can definitely say that it'll grow. You've shared a big deal with me as I have with you. I care about you, your family cares about you, your friends care about you. Trust me, you are not alone.
This is life, it can't always be perfect na. We all go through such phases but we have to learn to face them. Whatever has happened was meant to happen. This is how it is. And I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason so maybe whatever has happened was for the best. You may not see it now, but you will.
Like myself, I saw the bright side of the problem I faced last year. I'm not just saying this, I really did. If that hadn't happened then the thing that followed it wouldn't have happened. I can't say it here but I got 2 more parents...they are my uncle Aunty but they love me like their own daughter, seriously. I feel blessed to have them in my life, praying for me every second of the day.
Now please don't ever wish ke mujhe marna hai, okay? I'll help you get through this, I'm here for you. I'm sorry I couldn't make you smile today, I was busy.
Okay I think this is it.
You're not alone.
Oh my god, I don't know how to thank you Sania. I completely understood whatever you said, and I also believe that there will be a point in my life where I will want to live that every single moment, but then who know what the future has for us? However, I am trying. I will do better to make that future worth living. I am saying all this because I am the one who started all this. Had I been a better human being, I wouldn't be saying about death already. I really want to become better, that is the only thing I pray whenever I visit a temple. Just make a better person. I really hope my mind is taking all this information and hopefully reacting to it soon.
Coming to friendship, to be very honest, you and I both know we had common friends. Things didn't work out, and let's not talk about that. There was a point where I was hearing stuff about you and maybe even thought about you like that. But you know what? I didn't believe them, they were right in their ways, but I did not react on their thoughts or what they had with you. But I didn't let me stop me from talking to you. I don't know why I always felt that you are not as bad as they are showing it lol and I am so happy that to call you my FRIEND today. Seriously, we are so much alike, I understand you like a true friend, and so do I. So, our friendship is only going to get better from here. ILY, Sania <3
I'm sorry for whatever happened with you and your family. But let bygones be bygones. I don't want you to recall those moments either, so all I'm gonna say is I'm glad that's over and I'm happy that you are feeling better :)
I have this strong feeling that my life is taking a new turn, hopefully a good new turn lol so that will definitely help me feel good about my life :$
I just hope that I am taking the RIGHT TURN! Please god, send me to the right direction, I want to become a better person for myself, and for my family <3
and this was not a lecture, I felt nice hearing it :)