Hi! Long time I made a post in appreciation of show or a scene. It all seems so weird now. But before anything, I'd like to confess that today's episode did what confession couldn't do to me. It took my heart away and left me breathless and overwhelmed with emotions.
Right now, I am mess of incoherent thoughts so apologies in advance if I don't make sense. I just need to pent it all out before these emotions messes with my brain.
Also this post goes out to Rida, Zee and Ruby.
Hashmi - Finally it's all happening and how :')
Zee - And just how bang on we were regarding numbing down. Argh girl, just finish it all and come down already.
Bro - 🤗 You know why :')
Also CVs, if you are reading this, I would like convey that I feel so happy to follow a show where creatives are so humble and mindful of what the audience desires. Where they take our inputs and suggestion seriously. I am really happy with today's episode. After ages I watched a episode without skipping a single scene. I am that happy. And if I ranted when it all went haywire then I should rightfully appreciate you guys when you tried to do damage control so effectively.
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"I love you, not because you catch the glowing beings for me, take my worries from me, wipe away my tears when I cry. I love you because when I break down, you hold me tight, take me away and set me free."
She saw him. Standing right there in front of her, a mere shadow blocking the light, he was. Not for her. Never for her. That shadow wasn't made out of darkness that shadow was made out of desperation, out of love. She saw him looking finally relieved as if a blind finally saw rainbow, as if the paralyzed finally could walk.
She sighed his name in relief, as a reverence.
A prayer.
He was finally there was her, her heart danced. He would finally take her away, her heart said. He cradled her face, making sure she was real, was there. She sobbed feeling his touch after hours of misery. His touch - her salvation.
And like a dream, it went away. She felt the hollow right where his palms were, giving her warmth.
She sobbed harder.
Not because of the lack of touch but because of what he could become.
She cried. She shouted. She gave her all to call him back. From giving up to his darkness. From going back to his monstrosity.
They all stopped him, untied her. And with a jolt reality came crashing down to her. Within moments she realized what just happened. In matter of seconds she resigned, to numbness.
She felt his arms around her, tension leaving his body. Finally he breathed in relief when he saw her all fine, right where she belongs, in his arms. He tightened his hold to never let go while she stood still. She tried with all her might but it never came.
The feelings.
The emotions.
It went away leaving her numb.
"Manik, mujhe ghar jaana hai. Mujhe ghar le chalo."
She needed aloofness, her solitude. A dark little corner to hide away from prying eyes so she urged him to take her away to her home. Her room where she could be away from everyone, every soul. All alone. With no one.
In her room she sat all blank. Like a lifeless body who couldn't hear, who couldn't see. Nobody's presence mattered to her. Noone's words could she hear.
The girl forgot that mind is beyond human comprehension. Working of human mind wasn't possible for even science to comprehend.
The horrid images won't leave her alone, those predatory eyes would still burn her soul, those disgusting touches would still tingle her skin.
And the tingling got rekindled with his touch. That was the intensity of numbness that got to her. So scarred she was that she couldn't differentiate between the touches. Every touch bruised her soul.
She listened to what he said, like a lifeless doll, went to clean herself.
Even in front of mirror she agonized. Looking at it would tear her. Silently she down casted her eyes so she couldn't see herself.
Impure. Tainted. Scorned.
He saw her standing there. Her light no where to be seen, her eyes so hollow. And he heard the sound of cracks.
He called out for her, to come and let it all go. To break away from all that she was feeling and to accept the opened arms of safety.
She came and stood silently. Unmoving. Letting the water tumble down her body without lifting her hands to wash the dirt away. So he came, to her and touched her as if she is a porcelain doll. He touched her as if she is a goddess and she would go away. He removed the dirt from her with devotion as that of an author while dusting off his favourite book. He wiped away those scornful touches from her body and replaced them with his warmth.
Every time he touched her,
Removed the marks of monstrosity from her,
He breathed a little more of life.
Every time he touched,
He took all her pains away,
He promised her a memory full of smiles.
She flinched when he touched where she was scarred and he saw red. It was she who was bleeding but he felt the loss of blood. It was she who got bruised but anger attacked his soul. It was she who was paining but tears departed from his eyes.
Finally it was his touch of love she recognized. It was his warmth that brought her out of her dark isolated corner.
She still cared for him, she still loved him. How could she leave him alone?
So she accepted him, inside her little desolated world and went back to the darkest corner, leaving him behind.
And just like that, he died - a thousand deaths inside.
- Aditi
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