twinkle, as usual amazing job at capturing the episode.. Yes the episode was too emotional and left us speechless..
Originally posted by twinkle10
DAY 51! - Silence!
They say silence speaks a thousand words...and here I am still attempting to write a piece on an episode whose silence was screaming a thousand words to me. Never have I felt so restricted within my vocabulary and capabilities before and how I just wish someone could gift me the right words because no words can express what my heart is feeling right now. Happiness is different...joy and anticipated excitement can still be expressed. We scream, squeal, howl in happiness. But what does one do when more than the lips, the eyes, the tears, the apologetic touches, the soothing caresses do the talking?What do I write when his eyes spoke of his guilt, his shattered soul and his unleashable anger to me? What do I write when her lifeless body, her scarred heart, her painful hisses expressed their unhealable state to me?
I can only wish I had and have the words...and so here's that something little as a tribute to the ones who shone as bright as the stars and glowed as lively as the fireflies through their performance on screen today...
I wish I had the words to describe the silence of his franticly impatient soul, when his friend utters to him that what his heart had felt all this time wasn't false. That she was where he feared her to be.
I liked what you pointed out.. I think the guilt has to be even more now especially he had searched her at pandit's house and he couldnt find her earlier.. How he must be cursing himself for not being enough to protect her.. Not being able to find her sooner.. Oh god..
I wish I had words to describe the silent, trembling state of his stern and firm hands that held the power to break upon every lock, pull down every barrier and punch through every wall that his enemies will put up to refrain him from reuniting with his heartbeat. I wish I had the words to describe that silent LOOK...that look which wants to speak a million words to her but doesn't know where to start...that look which finally brings back his lost breaths...that look which finally shows signs of his heart beating again as he has found his lost heartbeat...that look which is holding back a river of heart-wrenching tears because every moment without her had seemed to be equivalent to death...that look of countless rants of apologies for being the reason for her tears and pain once again...that look which is quenching its desperate thirst of haven't being able to see her for what seems like eternity and now that she finally is in front of him, his eyes refuse to let go of her...that look which is expressing how difficult every breathless moment was without her as whilst finding her, he had seemed to lose himself somewhere...that look which wants to cry, to scream, to yell, to weep that he's seem to find home once again, that he's found himself again, that he's found his life again...but...but what will he say to her? How will he face her? How will he console her? How will he ever be able to face himself? How...just...how will he ever be able to forgive himself...
I wish I had the words to express that silent, piercing pain his heart felt upon scanning her helpless and shattered state. Bare feet, tear-drenched face, panting sobs, and shivering lips only possessing enough life and energy to utter one word..."Manik..." He hadn't promised her this! This wasn't the dreams he had allowed her to dream so he would fulfil them all one day! This wasn't the love he had promised her for a lifetime! I wish I had the words to express the silent disgust he felt upon himself as his heart wept upon seeing her in a state so miserable that words could not even express. The girl who he had picked up so effortlessly a few hours ago because she seemed to be too priceless to belong in the crowd of earthly people, sat there today with her feet unacceptably tied up with a piece of rope not even worthy of touching her shadow.
Word to this.. It was just few hours ago he had come out of the car and held her as she fell from that tree.. He had protected her then from falling but here she is kidnapped right under his nose in such a horrible state.. I can just imagine his guilt, pain, her pain, her hurt.. You said the tsunami was averted when they saw each other, the truth is it started another tsumani.. the fear of finding out if she was hurt. She was right infront of him and seeing in her that state must have brought so many thoughts .. He must have felt 100 times the pain that she was facing..
The girl whose hands he had smooched so lovingly to thank her fate lines for merging with his lines of fate, were tangled so painfully that it was as if someone had knotted his breath. The girl whose eyes are the home of his smiles, whose eyes are the reason his heart beats every day, whose eyes' twinkling shine is the reason no shadow of darkness lurks around in his world anymore, sat there today crying a river of tears which were the reason his own heart was bleeding.
I wish I had the words to describe how when his hand met with her cheeks, when her tears drenched his fingertips, when their foreheads leaned in to become each other's supports, when his heart whispered "Nandini..." and her soul murmured "Manik..."; it was like an earthquake settled, a tsunami ceased. It was as if life had finally resumed its ticking notion again. I wish I had words to describe that amidst silence, when their breaths tangled in each other's' breaths, it was as if they had just learnt how to breathe again.
However, silence can be a dangerous notion too. The calm, the wordless atmosphere can often symbolise an upcoming storm. And when silence was endlessly present today, a storm was bound to hit! I wish I had the words to describe how his silent patience erupted upon seeing his life's blessing in gasping pain. No longer was there blood flowing through his veins but rather rage-filled, boiling lava which vowed to engulf every soul responsible for every tear she shed. I wish I had the words to describe how his every punch was released with just one ambition; to kill!
When the storm ceases...only mild rain drops are left to clear the grey clouds and to prepare the sky for a fresh, hopeful, rainbow, sunny morning. Rain hardly emotes any sound, just a rhythmic echo of pitter and patter. It's an almost silent routine. I wish I had the words to describe how their hearts' pulsing beats matched the resonance of the rain which had come to balm the pain aching each other's hearts. Today it was his heart's turn...tomorrow her heart shall bandage the guilt-filled wounds.
I wish I had the words to describe that silent hug in which not only two bodies embraced, but two hearts reunited, to souls merged to become one again, to imperfect halves, formed to form a perfect whole again. I wish I had the words to describe that silent embrace which wiped away tears that had involuntarily escaped the eyes upon their separation. I wish I had the words to describe that silent embrace which contained enough warmth to calm every trembling and fear-filled nerve. I wish I had the words to describe that silent nod which assured him that no, no harm was done...but it made room for fresh wounds in his heart as he absorbed that; yes, enough harm was done.
Really they are now able to understand each other without words and thats what the love is.. He asked her if she is hurt.. she just nodded for not being hurt physically yet he understood the emotional torture she just went through.. So the moment she asked him he was right there taking her home..
To communicate through silence is gift. It's love's weapon. Because words cannot always justify the heaviness of the heart. Sentences cannot always explain the numbness of the soul. Speech cannot always express the pain, the agony, the trauma drowning the core senses.
I wish I had the words to describe how the level of his guilt rose when she silently and involuntarily flinched of his reluctant touch. How the guilt engulfed another part of his soul as she silently swayed her lifeless, wordless and senseless self into the four-walled shower chamber. I wish I had the words to describe how his head bowed in defeat as she silently limped like a zombie underneath the soothing drops of water. I wish I had the words to describe how his eyes lowered in silent remorse and guilt because at least those water droplets had the right to touch her, he didn't even have it in him, he couldn't seem to find enough courage to lend out his soothing caresses as he considered himself to have lost that right forever. I wish I had words to describe how his pain-drenched eyes once again silently glanced at her bruised arms, her wounded soul, her traumatised state; whilst silently cursing himself for her unbearable sufferings.
Even silence began to weep after sometime. And that's when time came to hush silence. To console the heartbroken silences. To sooth the throbbing silences. To balm the piercing silences. It's when the touch spoke its words of pleas, apologies and requests in silence. I wish I had the words to describe the silent, startled shrug of her body as haunting images flooded her mind when he touched her. I wish I had the words to describe the silent, soft, assuring, promise-filled caresses of his fingers...reminded her that those images were just in her nightmare. That she needless to be afraid of the dark anymore, because he will always protect the light of her life. He will shine for her now, like she's always shone for him. I wish I had the words to describe the silent trails his fingers left as he wiped her water-blended tears, promising her that he'll always wipe away the tears which were the reason his own soul was weeping. I wish I had the words to describe the anger that flared though his sense as he heard her silent hiss and witnessed her precious drops of blood bleeding. I wish I had the words to describe the silent, furious tears that rolled down his eyes; shrieking in pain and anguish as he cursed himself once again for not living up to the promise of always protecting her. I wish I had the words to describe how silently, his quivering fingers so consciously and carefully balmed her blood-covered wound with feather-like touches.
His silent touch...it spoke a thousand words of its own to her. It pacified her shrieking silences...It calmed her fear-filled silences...It appeased her haunting silences. I wish I had the words to describe how she recognised his silent touches to be the healing balm of her wounds. I wish I had the words to describe how her silence towards him invited him to treat her, to cure her, to heal her, to reassure her.
As the silent moments neared their end, as his silent gestures caressed her lovingly and carefully dried her...as she silently lent out half the towel for his own use and as they silently closed their eyes and leaned in to join their fate together one more time...new silences spoke of their voices. New silences expressed their overwhelmed relief, heart throbbing pain and speechless, silent, deepened love...
But louder than all, a new silence whispered from his tear-filled eyes, from his deep sigh, from his fluttering closed eyelids and trembling lips...
His silence that plead to her... to give him all her pain...
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I don't even know whether I should refer to them as Parth and Niti now or simply Manik and Nanini because no one can feel and explicitely emote their characters so realistically like these two, young artists do! But the truth is...if silence could express how flawlessly beautiful and brilliant they were today, I would gift them a silent, standing ovation!
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Again apologies in advance if I don't get around to replying to all due to time constraints!
