DAY 51! - Silence!
They say silence speaks a thousand words...and here I am still attempting to write a piece on an episode whose silence was screaming a thousand words to me. Never have I felt so restricted within my vocabulary and capabilities before and how I just wish someone could gift me the right words because no words can express what my heart is feeling right now. Happiness is different...joy and anticipated excitement can still be expressed. We scream, squeal, howl in happiness. But what does one do when more than the lips, the eyes, the tears, the apologetic touches, the soothing caresses do the talking?What do I write when his eyes spoke of his guilt, his shattered soul and his unleashable anger to me? What do I write when her lifeless body, her scarred heart, her painful hisses expressed their unhealable state to me?
I wish I had the words to express that silent, piercing pain his heart felt upon scanning her helpless and shattered state. Bare feet, tear-drenched face, panting sobs, and shivering lips only possessing enough life and energy to utter one word..."Manik..." He hadn't promised her this! This wasn't the dreams he had allowed her to dream so he would fulfil them all one day! This wasn't the love he had promised her for a lifetime! I wish I had the words to express the silent disgust he felt upon himself as his heart wept upon seeing her in a state so miserable that words could not even express. The girl who he had picked up so effortlessly a few hours ago because she seemed to be too priceless to belong in the crowd of earthly people, sat there today with her feet unacceptably tied up with a piece of rope not even worthy of touching her shadow. The girl whose hands he had smooched so lovingly to thank her fate lines for merging with his lines of fate, were tangled so painfully that it was as if someone had knotted his breath. The girl whose eyes are the home of his smiles, whose eyes are the reason his heart beats every day, whose eyes' twinkling shine is the reason no shadow of darkness lurks around in his world anymore, sat there today crying a river of tears which were the reason his own heart was bleeding.
I wish I had the words to describe how when his hand met with her cheeks, when her tears drenched his fingertips, when their foreheads leaned in to become each other's supports, when his heart whispered "Nandini..." and her soul murmured "Manik..."; it was like an earthquake settled, a tsunami ceased. It was as if life had finally resumed its ticking notion again. I wish I had words to describe that amidst silence, when their breaths tangled in each other's' breaths, it was as if they had just learnt how to breathe again.
However, silence can be a dangerous notion too. The calm, the wordless atmosphere can often symbolise an upcoming storm. And when silence was endlessly present today, a storm was bound to hit! I wish I had the words to describe how his silent patience erupted upon seeing his life's blessing in gasping pain. No longer was there blood flowing through his veins but rather rage-filled, boiling lava which vowed to engulf every soul responsible for every tear she shed. I wish I had the words to describe how his every punch was released with just one ambition; to kill!
When the storm ceases...only mild rain drops are left to clear the grey clouds and to prepare the sky for a fresh, hopeful, rainbow, sunny morning. Rain hardly emotes any sound, just a rhythmic echo of pitter and patter. It's an almost silent routine. I wish I had the words to describe how their hearts' pulsing beats matched the resonance of the rain which had come to balm the pain aching each other's hearts. Today it was his heart's turn...tomorrow her heart shall bandage the guilt-filled wounds.
I wish I had the words to describe how the level of his guilt rose when she silently and involuntarily flinched of his reluctant touch. How the guilt engulfed another part of his soul as she silently swayed her lifeless, wordless and senseless self into the four-walled shower chamber. I wish I had the words to describe how his head bowed in defeat as she silently limped like a zombie underneath the soothing drops of water. I wish I had the words to describe how his eyes lowered in silent remorse and guilt because at least those water droplets had the right to touch her, he didn't even have it in him, he couldn't seem to find enough courage to lend out his soothing caresses as he considered himself to have lost that right forever. I wish I had words to describe how his pain-drenched eyes once again silently glanced at her bruised arms, her wounded soul, her traumatised state; whilst silently cursing himself for her unbearable sufferings.
As the silent moments neared their end, as his silent gestures caressed her lovingly and carefully dried her...as she silently lent out half the towel for his own use and as they silently closed their eyes and leaned in to join their fate together one more time...new silences spoke of their voices. New silences expressed their overwhelmed relief, heart throbbing pain and speechless, silent, deepened love...
His silence that plead to her... to give him all her pain...
Edited by twinkle10 - 8 years ago
Take me Home
I don't even know what I am going to write today, or how I am going to write anything. I think I would like to just start from the beginning to the end of the episode and talk about my emotions. First I would like to applaud Parth and Taylor, and the entire team that conceptualized and executed this episode. Major Kudus to them.
The door is kicked open and they see each other. Finally. The drought is over. They can drink in the sight of each other. They can breathe again. Their hearts can beat in sync again. Nandini. She sees him and his name slips out. Manik, a prayer that has been answered. Her Manik, her savior, her knight in shining amour is here for her. She never doubted it for a second but the wait seemed to be endless. Terror and hope held her at the same time as her gaze met Manik's.
Manik. One look of love. One look of murder. Manik experiences both the emotions in a span of seconds after he kicks in the door and finally sees his Nandini. He sees her, he sees her alive. For a moment, he stands there, drinks in her sight and his heart just shatters seeing her in this state, tied up and traumatized. His eyes glaze over, her name a small whisper on his lips. And then he sees the culprit of her suffering and hot anger fills him to the brink. I said yesterday that love will triumph all, that between Monster Manik and Nandini's Manik. Manik will choose to be Nandini's Manik. And he does. That man that is raging and on the verge of killing Pandit was not a monster, that Manik was not Monster Manik. That Manik was a lover, that man was Nandini's Manik. A man who loves a woman beyond anything else in the world. Who vows not to forgive the devil for putting his Nandini through such a horrific trauma. It was a lover who promised retribution to the devil for his sins. Manik was in a rage, a rage that can be deadly. The rage consumed him so that he didn't even hear his Nandini's voice today. That never happens ! Manik always hears his Nandini's call, her love always overpowers his anger. That's why this man was not Monster Manik. This Manik was Nandini's Manik and today he would have killed for had he not been stopped. That's love. Pure love. Raw love. Poignant Love.
Nandini. The bright star. A girl so full of love and positivity. The evils of the world have shoved her hard into the darkness. The devil may have been captured but he has scarred her, traumatized her. His recoiling touch is still felt on her skin. The adrenaline wears off and numbness sets in. Her eyes, so vacant they have become. They couldn't recognize her Manik. His arms cocooned her in his warmth, to shield her and protect her from the world but so defeated she was, her arms couldn't tighten on him. He found her but she is still lost, she may physically be there but a part of her is still trapped with the Pandit. That why she tells him: ."Manik mujhe ghar le chalo..mujhe ghar jana hai." He is her anchor. He is her home. She wants to walk away from this evilness; she just wants to go back to her home where there is love and warmth. She wants to go back to her Manik.
Water, it cleanses her. Her eyes close in relief as reality starts setting in. It will be a long time before she feels safe again but for now she is back in the familiarity of her surroundings. Silence spoke in volumes today. Manik, so badly he wanted to be able to find words of comfort but the words refused to come out. So he relied on his touch. His touch, heals her, soothes her. Never has his love -filled touch made her flinch ! That's the scar the devil has left on her. Made her afraid of another's man touch. But this man, he is her Manik, his touch is still magic. He can still heal her, soothe her. His touch, first starts of hesitant as if he is afraid to hurt her. Then he touches her with this tenderness and gentleness, a stark contrast to his aggressiveness and anger. Manik's gentleness and tenderness brings his Nandini home. Hold me while I fall apart, her eyes say to Manik. And he hold hers, holds her with righteous care. Her body only reacts for a second until it recognizes the gentle touch. It's her Manik's touch. His hands replace the devil's hands. His wipes away the dirty touches of the Pandit with his love filled touches. Their tears mingled with the water, he still saw her tears though and he wiped them away. He does something as natural as tucking her hair behind her ear and her flinch surprises him. He sees the wound, blood, how she has been hurt. And the anger is back ! But he is hurting too, her pain is like stabs to his heart. And the guilt, he is about to drown in it the moment he is alone.
His touch is magic. His love is magic. Somehow he is able to bring her home. Her eyes, no longer are they vacant. They have pain in them, sorrow in them, and love, her eyes still have love in them for Manik. Found it absolutely beautiful how she brought the white towel over his head too. Their foreheads touch. They eyes close. And they are back in their own world, blanketed by nothing but purity. Manik and Nandini are home after a long night.
You spoke of silence. I spoke of home. And actually i wrote this right after i watched the episode because i just needed to let my feelings and emotions loose. So here this one is posted separately. And then i read your amazing post, bold my bits and see if i can add anything worthy.
Love as always,
- Reya aka Your Sunny <3
Edited by maankigeet4ever - 8 years ago