res 😛
Unres
Well, well, you should have precise that we had to hold on our seatbelt
strongly because its' going to be really eventful, what a roller coaster update. I just finished
my dinner when i started reading it 😆. jokes apart, I am
coming to the update and I have many things to do say about actually (you will
say as always 😃)
For me there is 3 part in this chapter, the liberation, acceptance
and finally doubt. the first one show how she finally let her past behind her and how she let herself to
someone else than her, she release from all her chains, and it feels so pure and
peaceful to feel not alone, to be understand by someone else, who didn't see
you as monster. The first paragraph when she realize that she opened her heart
to him, was really beautiful, intense and I could feel it. Especially this
sentence, which showed how much she felt lonely all her life.
How they didn't run
away from each other after hearing about such wretched pasts, neither judge the
other nor feel disgusted about being together.
She didn't only showed herself naked physically but emotionally and opening our
heart to someone, it always hard and it means a lot, and that why sometimes, it
hurts when our trust was broken. It's really amazing how love can heal
everything and how it can destroy everything too.
Now coming to her confession, we can see how she moved from feeling to feeling,
how she fought her demons alone, trying to find an issue to escape from them.
This part also was well explained and I can understand what she was saying, I
can feel all her words because it happens to me, I was like seeing myself in
her words. She took this option to live a kind of love who will not ask her to
be someone else or to be strong or to fake, with her child she can be herself,
looking for pure love might sound selfish but no one can blame her. She then realized
that it was what she needs to accomplish herself, she didn't mind taking care
of the child alone, she knows what it was to be alone, but for sure, she won't
let her child to be alone. This woman inside of her was craving to be love and
to give love and I feel that motherhood was her need, more than a love of a
man. I really appreciate how you make her mature enough to be aware of her
need, of her selfishness. You portray all her shade in her confession. I know that many people
can be scared to face their own truth, but you showed her strong enough in this
part. The mix between her weakness and strength were well mingled. Her heart
spoke all his hidden word leading to the word of love...hard one, I must confess,
I imagine him coming from her mouth life a whisper.
However, in this part, I felt Asad disturbed by
her confession; I didn't find his word really appropriate. I don't know why, I
felt something stranger going inside of him at this point. I don't know if you
didn't in purpose or it was just me, but I couldn't connect to his words. I felt
him scared about her needs to be a mother and I felt some doubt. I don't know
if he was disturbed with his feeling for her too. Even if after they made love
together.
Don't need to precise this part, it was damn
hot and their chemistry was growing day after day.
So came the last part that shakes me inside. This
is what I call the dark side of being in love, the doubt was the perfect shadow
which always follow love. No matter how strong your love can be, if small thing
happen, the doubt will act like (h)earthquake. First I thought that he was in
meeting, but slowly I realize that it was not the day that he was supposed to
be out. So I wonder if my theory was good, that he needs some space to think
about him, about his feeling and about her needs. He was lost I guess and as
all men, he needs to be alone.
I felt for Zoya in the last paragraph, trying
to keep hope and her sanity that what they shared wasn't fake, that she didn't
open her heart to someone who left her, once he saw who she was. She didn't
give her body and her soul to someone who betrays her. How painful that part
was, I can understand it happens to me in real (reading this story, sometimes I
feel it's me), and I understand how all her existence crashed in one second,
how you can feel thousand of swords in your heart. When your inner voice said:
you shouldn't have opened your heart. And she cried, because she trusted him
and she started dreaming about a new life with him. It gave me tears seeing her
in this state, again she was alone. No matter how rational you can be, emotion
will always screw up your brain. After sadness, came her pride, she left with
the only thing that help when you are hurt, your dignity. It was a dream and
was not meant for her. This part was painful, so painful for me. I will not
blame her for leaving; the silence in the house told her again how much she was
all alone. But till the last moment, she wished it was not true but you just
stop here...
Brilliant chapter and I guess one of the strongest
and deepest chapters of this story. Keep going on, you are really doing a brilliant
job.
PS: too long, but this chapter was a glimpse of my past life, I couldn't stop myself 😃
Edited by radadolcevida - 8 years ago
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