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Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar
Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar

Pam's wily ways ...

poetic IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 3:37am | IP Logged
We all have some sort of idea about the kind of dinner that Pam and Ragini are going to have, courtesy the precap.
Pam is a great player. She will try all ways to keep Ragini away from Nachiket's life. She knows that she cannot control Nachiket anymore - the Neil who had been cultivated all these years carefully and meticulously, have now lost to Nachiket. Pam also knows that now the only person who can keep Nachiket in check is Ragini. Ragini has definitely won Round One of the game, without even playing. 

Hence, she will start emotionally blackmailing Ragini, necessitating NR to take a step back and hide (if that's the correct word) the truth about their alliance, their status. So, Pam is that part of the family, along with Ranbir, who will oppose NR getting together. So sad ! They so deserve to be together after so many years of separation, hatred and loneliness.

I feel Pam will now use the KIDS card. She knows she has lost the battle for her Brother. I understand that she has brought up those kids after the separation, because Neil had been an absentee Father. Of course, she would not want to lose the kids.

BUT, is she right in openly telling Ragini to forget her kids [and Nachiket] and let them go back to US? It's not as if Ragini has been winner in this divorce and separation saga. Further, Nachiket does love her, despite all odds. His happiness is intertwined with hers and at this jucnture of his life, he defintiely needs and/ or wants Ragini back so that they can rebuild their family.

Pam's words were a veiled atatck - how she tells R that she will go away from their lives if her dream of a beautiful family becomes a reality. 

Turned me off, though I understand that the scene will be a major one. And we will get to see some power packed acting from both.

But is this justified? I find her to be Super Mean ...

Pam will never understand Ragini, but she could at least think of the others who surely want Ragini back in their lives ...

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maneetmayurNeiRaFreaksyazaibrahimsurbhimathurmetoyou

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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 3:55am | IP Logged
This time around she is right. Her feeling for the kids that it. As much as Ragini wants, she is not Agham's, Suhani's or Ranbir's mother. Just giving birth doesn't mean you get to be called mother.

Both Ragini and Neil were selfish to the core. I understand the divorce but dividing the kids was just not on. Who the hell does that?? Stopping kids from ever getting to know their Mom and Dad.

It was Pam who brought them up, Pam who looked after the, who made sure they ate at the right time and went to school etc. So her being afraid that she will lose the kids is genuine and I totally sympathize with her.

And after all of that when Neil and Ragini want, she is supposed to pack her bags and leave?? Nope. Her fears and point of view regarding the kids is spot on.

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poetic IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 4:08am | IP Logged
Yes, if you think only from the viewpoint of the KIDS, she is right. But I guess, neither Nachiket nor Ragini will ever ask Pam to step away from the lives of these kids. Which Pam is asking Ragini to do actually? She is askign Ragini to stay away from the kids? And Nachiket as well?
I am sure NR didn't have ball of a time and now what they are asking for is a little bit of happiness. And they are not even planning to exclude Pam or anybody else from their lives.

Both N and R are equally aware of the fact that they owe a lot to Pam for brinign up the kids and loving them like a Mother. At one point, even Ragini told Sunny Tai the same. NR made a huge mistake, paid for them heavily, but when life has given them a chance, should they not seize it? As a result, they generally do not react to what Pam does or says and let's her get away with enarly everything.

I for one don't want Pam to be excluded of their lives, she is a part of their lives. 

My question is - why is she asking Ragini to forget everybody? Is that humanly possible? 

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kiran_bhatiaaishraylovely_ladyMERARAImetoyou

xyze Senior Member
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 4:13am | IP Logged
Pam is literally using 'Sam , daam, dand, bhed' to keep NR apart.
Yes, she does love Neil but right now its all about herself for her.
For all these years she has been the force behind Neil's family. She was both mother and father to the kids and probably the only link between the kids and the father. May be this is the reason she never married- she got a family she wanted with NR's separation where she controlled everybody.everybody relied on her emotionally and she was the sole decision taker for everybody.

With Ragini back, she lost that position first in agam's life, then in suhani's life and now in Neil's life. Now only ranbir is left. So the world she created in 15 years literally fell apart in about 2 months(as per the show). And she is scared to loose it.

Even I think she is going to use the kids, most probably ranbir and aarav( since Nishi has more or less vanished) to keep NR apart. Two kids brought them together and the other two are going to keep them apart. Ranbir especially is going to be her biggest weapon, aarav toh is an idiot as it is.
Add to it fl2's custody case plan...its gonna be TOUGH for NR for sure.




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aishraypoetic

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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 4:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by poetic

Yes, if you think only from the viewpoint of the KIDS, she is right. But I guess, neither Nachiket nor Ragini will ever ask Pam to step away from the lives of these kids. Which Pam is asking Ragini to do actually? She is askign Ragini to stay away from the kids? And Nachiket as well?
I am sure NR didn't have ball of a time and now what they are asking for is a little bit of happiness. And they are not even planning to exclude Pam or anybody else from their lives.

Both N and R are equally aware of the fact that they owe a lot to Pam for brinign up the kids and loving them like a Mother. At one point, even Ragini told Sunny Tai the same. NR made a huge mistake, paid for them heavily, but when life has given them a chance, should they not seize it? As a result, they generally do not react to what Pam does or says and let's her get away with enarly everything.

I for one don't want Pam to be excluded of their lives, she is a part of their lives. 

My question is - why is she asking Ragini to forget everybody? Is that humanly possible? 
Yes...she is the mother to the 3 kids and the biggest problem is she doesn't want to SHARE that position with anybody.
She is insecure of that position now that her kids are meeting Ragini and trying to make up for the lost years.
She fails to see a simple point that NR want to make up for their mistakes and even the kids want the same.

I get your point that Pam deserves the highest position in their kids life and I don't think either Neil or ragini would ever want to challenge that position. Its all in her head...
Unfortunately, she is soon going to overstep the mark and would herself distance the kids from herself.

Regarding her dialogue about walking out, that was pure drama. She was using emotional blackmail to send Ragini on a guilt trip...all she wanted to convey was " you broke your family. Now its mine ,you can never get it back. In fact its wrong and selfish on your part to even wish for it" 


Edited by xyze - 05 May 2015 at 4:35am

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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 4:44am | IP Logged
I agree .. it's very MEAN of Pam to ask Ragini to forget her kids and Nachiket .. as someone had rightly told in another post .. it's like asking Ragini to forget to breathe .. How can a Mother .. ever forget her children ? It's something too harsh to ask for .. 

Pam has her fears .. she's a witness to all that happened 15 years ago .. actually .. she's afraid .. that once they are together .. and if again something of that sort happens .. then it would be disastrous for everyone ..
 I guess.. that's her only fear .. she was telling the same to FL2, the other day .. all Pam wants is her brother's happiness .. she doesn't wants her brother and the kids to suffer due to another failed relationship.. she's too cautious.. 

I want Nachiket and Ragini to convince Pam.. prove to her .. that such mistake would never happen again .. that's all Pam needs .. an assurance..

Pam did sacrifice her love .. to take care of the children .. and the very thought.. that once Ragini has come back to their life.. the Kids are more attracted to Ragini's love and affection .. is making her jealous ..

So I don't think .. Pam is such a bad character.. A sister's genuine concern for her brother and his family .. but maybe she's too much involved into his life..

I think .. it's only RK who can bring in the change .. Once they are married .. every thing will be just fine .. Pam also deserves happiness .. She should think about herself .. and let Nachiket and Ragini and their kids live happily ..

and what you mentioned about Ranbir is  not correct .. It's only that he's never got a chance to know his mother properly .. that's why the hatred .. and Pam had her role to play ..

the only thing .. I detest is .. Pam's obsession with FL2 .. I hope .. soon FL2 shows her true colours .. and Pam gets a reality check .. 


Edited by BlueMoon8 - 05 May 2015 at 4:44am

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kiran_bhatia

poetic IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 4:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by xyze

Originally posted by poetic

Yes, if you think only from the viewpoint of the KIDS, she is right. But I guess, neither Nachiket nor Ragini will ever ask Pam to step away from the lives of these kids. Which Pam is asking Ragini to do actually? She is askign Ragini to stay away from the kids? And Nachiket as well?
I am sure NR didn't have ball of a time and now what they are asking for is a little bit of happiness. And they are not even planning to exclude Pam or anybody else from their lives.

Both N and R are equally aware of the fact that they owe a lot to Pam for brinign up the kids and loving them like a Mother. At one point, even Ragini told Sunny Tai the same. NR made a huge mistake, paid for them heavily, but when life has given them a chance, should they not seize it? As a result, they generally do not react to what Pam does or says and let's her get away with enarly everything.

I for one don't want Pam to be excluded of their lives, she is a part of their lives. 

My question is - why is she asking Ragini to forget everybody? Is that humanly possible? 
Yes...she is the mother to the 3 kids and the biggest problem is she doesn't want to SHARE that position with anybody.
She is insecure of that position now that her kids are meeting Ragini and trying to make up for the lost years.
She fails to see a simple point that NR want to make up for their mistakes and even the kids want the same.

I get your point that Pam deserves the highest position in their kids life and I don't think either Neil or ragini would ever want to challenge that position. Its all in her head...
Unfortunately, she is soon going to overstep the mark and would herself distance the kids from herself.

Regarding her dialogue about walking out, that was pure drama. She was using emotional blackmail to send Ragini on a guilt trip...all she wanted to convey was " you broke your family. Now its mine ,you can never get it back. In fact its wrong and selfish on your part to even wish for it" 

@ Bold - Well said. That's what the true words are behind those dialogues and the tears. Pam is not ready to relinquish her position.

You stated correctly when you said that she will definitely use Ranbir (at least) to keep the tension alive between NR, and not let them be a unified happy family.

At this moment, Pam is deinitely not thinking about Nachiket. 

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Posted: 05 May 2015 at 5:27am | IP Logged
Very nice post and also much needed. 

The character of Pam is a tricky one and a very fragile one as well. She is the extreme of both ends yet she can be very 'in-between'. She knows how to play her cards, in her favor, very well. And that is exactly what she will do, no doubts. 

Basically it is a matter of perspective. Pam always thinks the glass is half empty whereas the kids believe that the glass is half full. She has a negative view of life (due to whatever she had experienced), which is not totally wrong in her defense but she needs to see things from people's perspective too. 

The ''good'' side of her character is that she loves her brother more than anything in this world, his kids by default. The divorce of Nachiket and Ragini had affected her badly, in a wrong way. We don't know the exact reason for the hatred for Ragini but of course it has to do something wit the divorce. Pam has seen her brother in distress, pain, grief and probably depression as well. She promised herself that she would take care of him and his kids as well. She did what she had to do, like any other sister which is good. However, the flip side is that along with the love she has for her family, her hatred for Ragini increased as well. She became too protective, obsessed and possessive about them. Pam has tried to influence the kids by putting Ragini a bad light and that is wrong from her side. 
I agree that dividing the kids was the most stupidest thing a parent can do, but this does not give Pam the right to fill hatred in the hearts of the kids for their biological mother. It is sad that she couldn't put her issues with Ragini aside whilst raising the kids. 

This leads automatically to the ''bad'' part of Pam's character. Again, she has given 15 years of her life to her brother and his kids which even he is thankful for. Even though, Nachiket has is shares of ups and downs with Pam, but he too knows that she has done a lot for them. However, she needs to understand that the kids have come to an age where they can see and understand the relationship between their parents. It is not Ragini who reached out to them but the love for their mother pulled them towards Ragini. 

The amount of love and care of Pam turned into an insecure feeling of fear. Fear of losing her brother and the kids to the same woman who had left them. Pam is not able to see the love Nachiket and the kids have for Ragini. Her pleading to Ragini for giving her family back can be justified to an certain extent though. Unfortunately Pam is not the kind of woman who thinks about the happiness of other's (even though she thinks she does) but eventually it is all about her happiness. Hopefully, she will realize (sooner or later) that keeping your loved ones away from their loved ones, is not making anyone happy, neither them nor her. 

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