Hi,
I am Kalpana and this one shot came into my head after watching yesterday aka 4th May's Episode. I felt that the episode was hilarious and hence, this is more of a crack fic. It is dedicated to Mithi with whom I pass comments while watching this show. She hooked me onto the show and it is her response to my comments that triggered this one shot in my mind. Enjoy Mithi!
Now onwards to the story, what would have happened if SK and Nayi Sanam had seen Jannat aka Sanam in the Ladies' Room?
Warning: This is a crack fic! Laugh and enjoy but don't take it seriously!
"Jannat!"
"Sanam!"
Both ladies shrieked as they took in the face of the lady in the burkha. One was shocked but not surprised. Allah Miyaah! Ise kahaan se yahaan bhej diya? Chain se bomb phodne waali thi main! Ab yeh plan bhi waste gaya! The other lady was beyond horror. Nahi! Yeh zinda nahi ho sakti! Yeh toh mar chuki hai! Ab main kya karun? Aahilji toh baahar hi khade hain!
The lady in the burkha jumped in shock at the sudden shouts. Haaye Allah! Yeh kya tha! She looked to her left and blinked in surprise. Her first thought was... Kitna over make up kiya hai! Then she turned to her right. Oh! Its an air hostess! She turned back to wash her face when her eyes widened and she looked back at the girl who gave her a smirk. "Hello Jannat!", SK purred.
That brought the Nayi Sanam, whom I shall refer to as NS, out of her stupor, "Jannat! Arre! Yeh Jannat nahin, Sanam hai!", NS helpfully informed SK. Jannat and SK frowned in confusion.
"Arre! O Akkal ki andhi! This is Jannat!", SK announced and Jannat nodded. She was not Sanam, she was Jannat!
"Waise tum kaun ho?", SK asked in confusion.
NS grinned eagerly, "Main! Main Nayi Sanam hun!"
"Achcha! Toh Jooni Sanam kaun hai?", Jannat wondered.
NS pointed at Jannat making her eyes widen.
Jannat shook her head.
"Nahi! Main Sanam nahi hun!", Jannat announced.
NS huffed, "Tum Sanam ho!"
"Nahi hun!", Jannat huffed.
"Haan ho!", NS growled.
"Nahi!", Jannat stomped her foot.
"Haan!", NS hissed.
"ARRE CHUP!", SK roared making both the ladies shut up.
"I don't care yeh Jannat hai, Sanam hai, Seher hai, Sunehri hai ya Zoya hai! I don't care!", SK growled, "I have to kill her warna yeh jaake police ko mere baare mein bataa degi!"
SK waved her knife at Jannat making her gulp. Ya Allah! Koi mujhe aake bachaao! Shaad! Help!
"EK MINUTE!", now it was NS's turn to roar.
SK looked at NS in annoyance while Jannat looked with hope. Shaayad yeh mujhe bachaa le! But Jannat's hopes were dashes away when NS pouted, "Tum ise nahi maar sakti! Yeh mere haath se maregi!"
"Kyun? Tum kyun ise maarogi?", SK growled. How the hell this make up ki dukaan come and destroy my chance at killing Zoya? No Jannat! No Sanam! No! Arre kya naam hai iska! This is more confusing than my own names and I have had four till now.
NS spoke bringing SK out of her thoughts, "Kyunki isne mujhse mere Aahilji ko cheena!"
SK rolled her eyes, "Arre make up ki dukaan! Isne toh sirf tujhse ek aadmi cheena! Mera toh isne poore desh ko udaane ka plan duba diya! Achcha khaasa Pakistan ko tabaah kar rahi thi", here SK sniffed, still heartbroken about her plans, "But iss kambakht ne mere sapne pe paani pher diya!"
SK pointed at Jannat and NS's
eyes widened too, "Tumhaara bhi? Mere bhi plans pe paani phere hain isne!"
"Kya?", Sk was in shock. Yeh Jannat hai ya Sherlock Holmes ki poti? Sabke plans
pe paani pherti hai!
"Toh bas tay raha!", NS announced, "Main hi iska khoon karungi!"
"Nahi! Main karungi!, SK growled.
"Main", NS shouted.
"Main", SK waved her knife.
NS did not back off, "Main!"
"Main!"
"Main!"
"Main!"
"Main!"
"Main!"
"Main!"
All this while, Jannat remained frozen in shock but now she came out of shock and watched with wide eyes as two ladies fought over how to kill her. Suddenly, Jannat had an idea, "BAS!", she growled, "You want to kill me right? Maaro! Lekin mujhe wahi maarega jo mere murder ke kaabil ho!"
"Kaabil toh main hun! Terrorist jo hun!", SK announced.
"Arre! Terrorist hai toh kya hua!", NS spluttered, "Main toh zinda bhi nahi hun. Maut ko jeet ke aayi hun!"
"Arre! Main poore desh ko dara sakti hun!", SK growled.
"Toh? Main toh mare hue insaan ko bhi zinda kar sakti hun!", NS preened.
"Kaabil main hun!", SK shouted.
"Kaabil main hun!", NS shouted back.
Jannat intervened, "Arre kaabil toh woh hai jo jeete woh bhi mere choice ke game mein!"
"Kaunsi?"
Kaunsi?"
Jannat grinned, "Catfight!"
NS glared at SK. Sk glared back. Both roared and started fighting. Jannat grinned eagerly at the fight. Waah! Kya lad rahe dono! Maaro SK maaro! Aur Nayi Sanam! SK ko chodna nahi! Oh! How I wish there was some popcorn here! That's when Jannat remembered her plan. She had planned to run away the moment these girls started fighting. Bhaag Jannat Bhaag! She scrambled out of the room and slammed right into someone.
"O I am so sorr... Sanam!", the man who clashed into her exclaimed.
Jannat had a bad urge to scream.
"Side!", Jannat growled.
"Sanam...", the man who was Aahil whispered.
Sanam growled at him, "Arre! Hum Sanam Jannat Sanam baad mein khelenge! Mujhe abhi apne shohar se baat karni! I need him! Baaju hato!"
"Par Sanam...", Aahil stuttered, "Main tumhaara shohar hun! You need me!"
Jannat huffed, "Are you in army?"
Aahil shook his head.
"Can you catch a criminal and cuff them?", Jannat asked.
Aahil shook in negative again.
Jannat growled, "Then you are of no use to me! I need my other husband! Hato!"
Jannat pushed Aahil out of the way and met Shaad. She told him about SK being in ladies room and soon SK was arrested and escorted out by Indian Army while NS looked on confusedly.
Jannat sighed in relief. One vamp down, one to go! Suddenly, someone stood by her and whispered, "Sanam! Tum yahaan ho? Mere saamne?"
Jannat rolled her eyes. Seriously! Seriously? I just had two vamps dying to kill me and you are already sticking Aahil on me? Give me a break!
Soon Shaad joined her, "Jannat! Tum theek ho na?"
Now Jannat seriously wanted to scream. This is getting ridiculous.
"Yeh Jannat nahi hai! Yeh meri Sanam hai!", Aahil growled.
Shaad growled back, "Yeh Sanam nahi meri Jannat hai!"
In between them, Jannat rolled her eyes. Here we go again! Then suddenly she brightened up. Hey! I can get them to fight too! Aur yeh dono toh ladke hain! Definitely shirt utaarenge! Jannat happily wandered off to hunt for a popcorn seller! This time I am so not going to miss out on the popcorns.
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed the one shot!
I know it was way too crackish but this is what happens when a crazy fangirl of Qubool Hai jokes about yesterday's episode with me!
Mithi! This is what you get when you indulge my crackpot comments while watching the show!
Thank you, take care and have fun,
Kalpana
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