#2 | Arshi SS-Sentiments | Epilogue 14/07 *COMPLETED* - Page 3

It's difficult to hate someone you love, but it's more difficult to hate someone who loves you..

Arnav felt the pain. He was seeping into guilt with every passing minute and the guilt was compelling him to part away from Khushi. He wanted to apologize, but he knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness. He had made her go through a lot of pain, and somewhere he himself wanted to experience all that, just to be able to do justice to her feelings.

He wanted to put a stop to the confused feelings he had related to Khushi, but he didn't had anyone to talk to. To forget the pain, he had made himself so hard, that considering about someone's feelings seemed to be so difficult to him. 

He came out of the washroom, deep in thoughts, and sat on the recliner, leaning his head back. He had been back to his home, for Piya was with Khushi in the hospital. 

He tried hard to get some sleep, but failed. 

Something was disturbing him badly. He was getting engulfed into a chaos of thoughts, involving mainly thoughts of confusion. He knew, once Khushi would be out of the hospital, she will be deciding to leave for New York. But if he doesn't want her to go? What will he reason out for her to stay with him? He himself had said that he didn't needed her in his life, but he was sure he didn't mean it. His every word that hurt her, was never meant to be said. 

Sighing a deep sigh, he got up from the recliner and walked towards the poolside. 

The star filled sky made memories rush into his mind, making his throat fill with tears. 

"Maa yeh taare? Yeh taare kya hote hai?" [Maa these stars? What are these stars?]  he asked his mother, while he, his mother and Khushi sat on the terrace gazing at the sky. 

"Arnav beta, jo log mar jaate hai, vo taare ban jaate hain." [Arnav beta, the ones who die, become stars.] his mother told him, and his eyes shined. 

"Kya hum bhi ek din taara ban jaenge?" [Will I too become a star one day?] Khushi asked, receiving a gentle push from Arnav. 

"Tu chup kar! Main tujhe kahin nahi jaane dunga" [You shut up! I will not let you go anywhere] Arnav shushed her angrily, making her smile cheekily and Jayanti smile at their fondness for each other. 

"Sab ek din taare ban jaate hain.. Isliye har pal jeena chahiye.. Kisi ko pyaar karte ho, toh har roz unko batana chahiye.. Kyunki kya pata kal vo ho na ho?" [Everyone becomes stars one day.. That's why you should live each moment.. If you love someone, tell them everyday.. Because who knows if they are there the next day or not?] Jayanti said, her voice becoming numb as both the kids stared at her with utmost attention.

"Arnav hum aapko bahut pyaar karte hai" [I love you so much, Arnav] Khushi quickly told Arnav, taking her kaaki's words way too seriously and Jayanti chuckled at her innocent form.  

Tears shined in his eyes as he continued to stare at the sky. 

I will tell Khushi that I love her.. though nothing could get my words back, but I will try my best to get her what she really deserves. I will tell her that she means to me the same way as I mean to her. I have been bad, but I'm ready to undo everything that made her cry. I won't be able to measure my love as much as your's, but with all I have, I'll love you with that.. 

Gulping a lump in his throat and putting a stop to his train of thoughts, he walked back to his room, and went to the hospital.

*

Khushi came out of the wash after getting changed from the hospital clothes into her own ones. She was getting a discharge from the hospital, and Arnav had instructed Piya to take Khushi home, before he came to take both of them to the Raizada Mansion along with him. 

"Let's go" Piya said, turning towards the door. 

"Where's Arnav?" Khushi asked, feeling the need for him to be with her. She knew she would leave him, but just to reconsider her decision, she wanted to check if she really matters to him. 

"He has some work to do, he'll soon join us" Piya told her, smiling that everything was finally getting better. 

"Oh" Khushi sighed, closing her eyes to not to cry. 

He doesn't care.. I was right. 

They both left the hospital in the car sent by Arnav to their home, one knowing the plan behind Arnav's not joining them right then, thus happy, and the other sulking due to her failure in making someone love her. 

*

Khushi's health state was better which allowed her to walk steadily. Though she still had a slight headache, yet she knew she'd be more comfortable once she gets the chance to lay on her own bed.

She went in her room and sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for Piya to get her something to eat. Her eyes travelled around the room; the suitcase that she was packing before losing her consciousness was cleanly placed at one side of the bed and the photograph that adorned one side table, was missing..

The photograph was missing..?

She got up and bent down to search for the photo underneath the bed, but didn't find anything. She checked her cupboard and her bag, but there was no trace of that photograph. 

Instructing herself to not to get bothered, she again sat on the bed, letting all the negative thoughts hover her once again. 

Pulling out the drawer from the side table, she found another photograph of her and Arnav playing with his new toy car that was gifted to him on his 9th birthday. 

Tears welled her eyes heavily, as she compared the Arnav at that time with the present Arnav. 

He was just a friend that time, and may be she considered him something more than that. But both being so small at that time, it wouldn't be called as love, though Khushi named her immense friendship and consideration for him as love. 

But now, he meant everything to her, more than anyone. No matter how many times he had broken her heart, she just couldn't let go of him. 

She gazed at the photograph for a long time, before tearing it into two pieces, separating herself from Arnav. 

I'm sorry Arnav, but I couldn't make you love me..

*

"How much?" Arnav asked the lady behind the counter in a shop from where he had bought something.

"99000 Rs., Sir" the lady told and he paid the bill and slid the small packet in his coat pocket.

He smiled faintly before leaving the shop, walking towards the parking area of the mall.

*

Khushi got up weakly from the bed and locked the door. 

She felt miserable. 

Why Devi Maiyya? Why? 

Her inner voice screamed. 

Why did you make me so bad? Why? If I had done something bad in my past, why didn't u take my life to punish me? Why did you make me suffer so much? My maa baba left me, then my kaka kaaki left me, then Arnav made me leave him and now again, I'm compelled to leave him. I don't even have a reason to be alive. Rather than going through this unbearable pain, it's better if I go to my Maa.. Only she will understand me.. 

She cried noisily, covering her limp face with her hands. 

She kissed Arnav's photo hard, before entering the washroom. 

She took a razor and removed the blade from it. Settling herself on the floor at one corner, she stretched her wrist out tight and stared at the bluish veins running through. 

I love you Arnav. So much. 

Her tears made the skin near her wrist wet, just before the steel blade pierced her skin there, blood oozing out the very second, falling on the white-tiled floor and reddening it. She drew in a sharp breath, as the stinging pain hit her wrist.

And she did something she shouldn't have done...

Please like and comment. I would like to know what you all can imagine about what is going to happen next. The one who guesses right, gets the next chapter dedicated to her 😉  

Remain hooked ;) 

Love, 

Sanjana.