BYE!

DAY 50! - "Bye!"

"Bye..."

To sanity...bye to the mind's ability and capability to think...bye to the peaceful ordered state his world was in, mere minutes ago...bye to the norms, the morals, the rights and wrongs of the world...bye to the calm, composed grip he had on himself earlier in the night...bye to his soul's skill of being able to breathe out of shock and contemplate of anything beyond her...bye to the heart's gift of listening and absorbing the sense-filled words being spoken to him...

...I welcome you all to insanity, to restlessness...to furious wrath enveloped in urgent need of finding her. I welcome you all to the numbing of the heart...to the jammed functioning state of the mind...to the fire burning inside his core senses, ready to set ablaze anything and everything that comes in his way..."Paagal hone ke saath saath mai dangerous bhi hoon"...

Bye Nadnini's Manik...I welcome you all; Monster Manik.

"Bye..."

To heartbeats that beat only upon seeing her soulful smiles...bye to the needful breaths that are only inhaled when she is in front of him ensuring she is as real as she can possibly be...bye to the mesmerising smiles that adorn his face when her presence is felt ...bye to the healed wounds and bandaged guilt that she's spent endless moments soothing...bye to the joy sparkling eyes which express his soul's calm when he hears her laughter...bye to the rational nature of thoughts...bye to the soft caresses of his hands...bye to his whispering lips wanting to recite their confessions again and again...bye to the heart, mind and soul which possess no life anymore as the one they think for, breathe for, beat for has taken them along with her...

...I welcome you all to, shrieking and desperate yells...to powerful, avenge-filled, balled fists...to blood-red, raging eyes...to bruising punches...to jaws clenched in unimaginable anger. I welcome you all to lips slithering in demand of the whereabouts of his heartbeat, his breath, his life. I welcome you all; a lifeless, senseless, unleashed wild soul...a guilt-filled, a remorse-filled and newly wounded heart..."NANDINI!!"...

Bye Nadini's Manik...I welcome you all; Monster Manik.

"Bye..."

To old promises of controlling his dangerous anger...bye to all previous line of thoughts of never losing his cool...bye to the hesitancy of revealing hidden secrets due to shame and disgrace...bye to kind pleas and requests for the exact "what", "who", "why" and "where" related to her kidnapping...bye to patience-filled discussions with the opposition team...bye to controlled, sense-making words which were once ready to make any deal in return of her unharmed soul...bye to any and every chance of forgiving the culprit of the sinful act of touching the sole reason of his survival...

...I welcome you all to unexplainable madness...to life-changing warnings...to inexpressible desperation...to intolerable separation...to fearful eyes...to stern, deathly stares... "Nandini ko waapis lane ke liye mai kuch bhi kar sakta hoon"...

Bye Nandini's Manik...I welcome you all; Monster Manik.

"Bye..."

To selfish, egoistic and deceiving plans... bye to deceitful and impure relationships...bye to the detesting and deceitful demon...bye to his psychotic and manipulative, evil ploys...bye to the concealing and unfaithful intentions...bye to the unworthy respect of being called "panditji"...

...I welcome you all to revelation of true intentions...to unmasked faces...to hidden evidence...to unspoken truths...

Bye danger and darkness...I welcome you all; the victory of true love.

"Bye..."

To old needs...bye to previous wishes...bye to old emotions...bye to old desires...bye to old aspirations...bye to old confessions...bye to the old definition of love...bye to the confused mindset of whether he can or cannot kill in love...

...I welcome you all to more frantically desperate needs...to escalating desires of seeing each other...to re-discovering more powerful emotions of love during hours of separation...to rising and falling in love with one another all over again whilst being away from each other...to the realisation of a new dimension and unseen depth of their own love for each other...to the notion of craving each other's breaths and heartbeats to revive their own halted hearts and paused breaths..."Kahan ho tum...Kahan ho...tum...I'll find you soon...myself"...

I welcome you all to the truth she had already understood and the truth he will now understand; the truth of dying for her as well as killing for her...

Bye Manik and Nandini...I welcome you all; MaNan...

He was hers when he was the spoilt, rich kid; "Manik Malhotra". He was still hers when she named him "Monster Manik". And he was definitely hers when she changed her contact name for him to be simply "Manik".

Long gone is the time when Manik was his name for himself and Nandini was a name belonging to his routinely obsessions...

The truth is... Be it Manik Malhotra, Monster Manik or simply Manik...That one "n" that joins the first half and last half of his name; stands for Nandini. The Nandini that relates his heart to his heartbeats...That Nandini who connects his soul to his body...That Nandini without whom his true identity is incomplete because it's now time to say...

Bye Manik...I welcome you all; Nandini's Manik...

____

Amazing response today. Even thou it was shorter in length, the quality of your words was ever so present. I don't know how you manage such perfection every time. Congrats on the 50 Days. I hope that you keep enlightening us with your beautiful words.

Today's response is mostly going to be about my emotions because their pain, Manik pain, Nandini pain, it was all felt in the heart today and came out as tears at several points of the show. First I would like to take a moment and applaud the three stars of today: Parth, Taylor and Kishwer. All three were phonemail in their own way today.  A wonderful by the team for scripting and executing such an amazing episode.

Manik. He was like a man possessed today. He is just not in control today, not in Nyonika's control, not in control of his heart, which keeps crying out for Nandini. His desperation to find his Nandini drove him a little crazy today, or a whole lot crazy. Manik will be the first to tell you that he doesn't care if he looks crazy or if he is dangerous or if he has beg today or if he has to threaten his evil mom ( I am not going to touch on the mother-son scene today because I just don't feel like being analytic today but soon, over the week I will discuss them and how Harshad's return will factor in). He doesn't care about anything or anyone other than his Nandini. The way he searched the entire house, looking everywhere even places she wouldn't be in. My heart broke, it broke a few times today honestly. But just the way he searched for her, saying her name constantly. As if she were a prayer that would be answered any minute now. This man can go to the end of the world for his Nandini, he will search every corner of the world for his Nandini. And I don't think anyone will ever be able to understand his love, not even Manik himself. Manik battled it out hard today with his anger, one could tell. His need to find his Nandini did trumiph his anger thou. He only spared the Pandit because he needed to find Nandini or else he would have killed him today with his bare hands. Tomorrow is of course a different story but more on that later.

That scene with Nandini in the guitar case. Oh my heart. That tiny little thing was closed in the guitar case, barely being able to breathe but she fought so hard in hopes that manik will hear her. All that sweat running down her face, and being tied up like that but she still tried so hard. They were so close, so close to each other. "Where are you ?" and she was right there. She was right there, trying to find someway for her Manik to hear him. Judaai played and my tears just ran. His hand reaches up and touches that cupboard. An inch or more he would be touching the guitar case she was locked in. "I will find you soon, myself." She is lost right now, he is lost right now. With her gone, he has lost his reason for existence, lost his oxygen, lost his heartbeat, he has lost Nandini's Manik. But he promises he will find her, find himself, no matter what !

Oh god our poor Nandini. That innocent, nave girl is going to get scarred. The way Pandit kept her in that tiny box. Oh her body wracking sobs, her disgust with the Pandit. Taylor was freaking perfection in that scene. The evil of the world, just keeps shocking her. Her belief, her faith broke again. A sick man has ruined the pure relationship of a guru and student. And she tries to reason with him. Even going through such a trauma, she wants him to see reason. Shows her courage and strength.

Two Looks. There were two looks today that Manik had. One of murder when he finds out that Pandit has his Nandini. His eyes, they just fill up with hot anger. His jaw clenches. His own face hardens.  Beware Pandit, you have unleashed the monster and this monster will kill you ! And in the precap, I cannot, I will never be able to give words to the LOOK Manik has on his face when he finally sees his Nandini. She is in one piece, she is hurt but she is alive and finally he is able to breathe. The love, he has finally her, his heart has starting beating again. The sheer relief of seeing her. The pain of seeing her in such a state. The guilt of not finding her soon, he was just right here before, how did he not find her before ? Oh god, that look cannot be desribed. I am probably going to crazy about that look in detail tomorrow and write a whole essay on it

Manik will have another battle on hand tomorrow. Does he want to kill Pandit ? or does he want to tend to his Nandini ? Hold her close and never let her go.  Which look he going to act on ? Murder or love ? Yes, the monster will be unleashed, but his love triumphs all. And his love and need to care for his Nandini will overpower his need to kill Pandit. But Pandit will definitely get a glimpse of Monster Manik. Manik doesn't forgive those who hurt his Nandini !

All the best for your assessments. I know you will do really well and make your Sunny proud. Your words will be immensely missed though. I shall await your return.

Love as always

- Reya aka Your Sunny <3

p.s i haven't read this over and i know it has mistakes cause my cognitive processing is kinda down..lol