DRABBLE: Papa Chahiye
*that
night when Abhi came to the poolside, Pragya didn't let him say
anything but straight told him that Tanu is pregnant and we need to make
arrangements so you can marry her*
*Abhi was shocked and
disbelieving and tried to explain to Pragya it wasn't possible because
he didn't remember being with Tanu like that anytime recently*
*Pragya reminded him of the MMS Divorce time and showed him the report from the hospital, and with reluctance Abhi accepted it*
*Pragya
told Abhi he should go see Tanu or at least call and talk to her as
she's very alone and needs his support now that he knows*
*Abhi says he'll talk her tomorrow but for now he just needs to settle his mind and he's going back to their room*
*Pragya
lies that she has kitchen stuff to do and she'll be up later...she
still needs time to wrestle her feelings and she doesn't want to face
Abhi behind the closed doors of their room*
*When Pragya
finally comes upstairs she is confused that he is not in bed...but then
she sees his is on the couch at the balcony, sipping from a glass and
staring at the stars*
*Cautiously she comes to sit near
him...wonders if he's drunk...but judges from his expression that he's
not drunk, just moody...thinks about what she can say to give his
thoughts a better direction...*
P: Suniye...
A: Hmm...
P: I want...I want to tell you something
A: I think you've told me enough tonight
P: Right...but...but still
A: Fine...tell me
P:
When I was growing up...my mom gave me everything I ever needed,
without my having to ask...she did her best to give us what we wanted
too, as long as she could afford it...she worked so hard to make sure we
never felt like we were missing anything
A; Mmhmm...I know...Auntyji is a great mom. You are really lucky.
P:
I know...but there was one thing...one thing I could never tell my mom,
because I knew she could never give it to me. There was one thing I
wanted more than anything, and I could never say it to her face.
A: What was that?
P: Mujhe papa chahiye.
A: ...Oh.
P:
I used to feel so guilty, that Maa would work herself to the bone for
us but still I could never stop wanting the one thing I could never
have.
A: You were a child...you couldn't help it.
P:
Exactly. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but wonder what was so
wrong with me and my sister, that we didn't get to have a father like
everybody else. I couldn't help but wish my father had stayed. I didn't
care what the issues between my parents were. I just wanted - I just
wanted a father to love me and protect me and care for me.
A: Fuggy...
P:
My father left because he couldn't live with my mother anymore. It
didn't matter to him that Bulbul and I needed him. Can you imagine? How
can a man's ego be more important than the needs of a child?
A: What are you trying to tell me?
P:
Just...I know this whole situation is a surprise to you but...but just
remember how far the consequences of your choices can reach. I know what
it's like to grow up without a father. I don't know if my father ever
cared what impact it had on me. But I know that you - you could never
want to hurt a child like that. Especially not your own child.
A: Of course not.
P:
Well...well good. And I - sorry. I probably didn't need to tell you
this. You're happy, right? The woman you love is going to -
A: Don't - don't. Just stop. I don't want to talk about that.
P: OK...well...are you going to stay out here longer? It's getting cold.
A: You take the bed tonight. I don't think I'm going to sleep.
P: But -
A: Fuggy...I can't. I can't talk anymore. Stay here if you want, or go inside if you want, but I - I just -
P: Ok...ok fine.
*Pragya
gets up and fetches blankets...makes him take one though he tries to
refuse...cuddles up under her own blanket on one of the sofa-chairs and
stays to keep Abhi company...gradually drifts off to sleep after an
emotionally exhausting day...*
*Abhi stares at the
stars...until he's sure Fuggy's asleep and then he stares at her...until
his vision blurs with a film of wetness...and he wonders at how the
universe can be so unfair...the woman he loves pushing him to accept his
child with someone else...he remembers how she only said those three
words once in their conversation, mujhe papa chahiye, but even
after so many years the pain and longing could be heard in her
voice...and he thinks that maybe he doesn't know what he wants...and
he'll have to check what Tanu wants...but if nothing else, he'll step up
to this unexpected responsibility...because it's what Fuggy wants...and
at least he can do that much for her, at least he can spend the rest of
his life living up to her idea of what a good man should be...even
though he'd much rather spend the rest of his life...with her*
THE END
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