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AkDha OS--"Scorching Desire (16+)"(imp Note pg 9) (Page 7)

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Posted: 07 June 2015 at 10:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ...Shefa...

hi sush ...
I read it Approve but not able to comment Confused LOL
I just can say that you are an amazing writer Thumbs Up
Thnx Shefa...This means a lotSmile Smile

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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 9:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by chandgothia

It was beautifully written...loved the way jalal got over surya the ass...
The best line was ur "p.s." LOL
Write more often...
Thnx dear for the praising...Smile Smile
& yes... The PS was needed.otherwise I am always accused to be inspired by GreyLOL LOL
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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 9:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by LekhSha

Nice writing, Just a small suggestion, If you could increase the protagonist's age  when writing there night outs it feels nice.
Means 16 yrs is  much too young to be in such night outs.

Its your story just a thought, 
Thnx...
& Yes... ur saying is right... They r too young for this...
But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen...Infact I know my some friends...who do such thing from the age of 15 only...
But I know...That doesn't definitely mean.it is morally right...
It's only a fiction... So I will request U to not to take things so seriously.Just enjoy...
But thanks again for expressing ur views...
Next time I will definitely remember it...Smile Smile
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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 9:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by swatiluthra

Super hot n sensual sushi
Thanks for the pm Tongue
ThnxWink WinkBlushing
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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 9:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lovejodhaakbar

Cut n hot...the way jalal cant help but give in to his desire toward jodha but still asking jodha first for the ultimate love making :) ..please write more...tfs..

thnxWink Wink
Yes... May be they r too h***Y...but they r lovers first..so..Wink Wink
Surely... I will write moreSmile Smile
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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 9:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by cuty1997

sush it's so much hot Blushing
thanks to pm me Wink
ThnxBlushing 
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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 9:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by avika444

Ahem ahem nice os sush
loved the ending where surya comes to jo's house and catches them red handed
but jalal was smart enough to handle the situation .
thanks for the pm
update ur ffs too pls
Thnx AvikaWink Wink
Aww... Actually I enjoyed too when I was writing this endingWink Wink
Yes... Jalal is always smartCool Wink
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Posted: 08 June 2015 at 10:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lovergirlalina

Sush ur harmones r on overdrive ROFL
Ofcourse...Otherwise I can't write such OS in normalLOL LOL
Ufff such an hot, passionate os Blushing
Loved it Wink
Thnx AlzooWink Wink
Jallu was v rough how he came to jo' s house n closed her main door n her room's door & how he banged his lips to herDay Dreaming v fastLOL hehe poor Jo he won't let her even complete her words. 
He was actually too much impatient & turned on...Wink  WinkLOL LOL
How he askd her r u on Ur days I was like whattt?ShockedLOL Jo se phle my mouth was wide open.  
Aise bhi poochte h while dngBlushing. I didn't knw. Now I knw lol LOL 

Apne assignements ka kuch toh gyaan OS mein bhi daalu...ROFL ROFL
He tore her p**** LOL
Hey... It was only U guys' wish to tear something in every OS... So... It was this story quotaLOL LOL
When he made love to her isshhh I was smiling n blushing. while reading. Too hawwtt Blushing
Wth subah subah surya n he knw what dis love birds did.  I was worried for a second den I tot I dnt need to as soon as u r der.TongueTongue . Mast fasaya surya ko jallu ne or surya ki hawa nikalgai. LOLLOL. Hats off to u sush for writing amazingly.ClapClapClap Thnxx sushi I Really loved it Dancing
Aww!!!!! Thank u Thank U so muchEmbarrassed Embarrassed
N lastly they r on bed again for session 2. . WinkDay Dreaming
Will thinkWink Wink
Wow sush pls give me session 2 asap as I told u awredy.ROFL . M waiting for session 2 now it's jodha' s  turn to go wild n crazy.LOLWink

LOL LOL

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