*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 4

                                   CHAPTER  23

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you." Rumi

Unfolded out of the folds of the woman, man comes unfolded, as is always to come unfolded,
Unfolded only out of the superbest woman of the earth, is to come the superbest man of the earth,
Unfolded out of the friendliest woman, is to come the friendliest man,
Unfolded only out of the perfect body of a woman, can a man be formed of perfect body,
Unfolded only out of the inimitable poem of the woman, can come the poems of man"only thence have my poems come,
Unfolded by brawny embraces from the well-muscled woman I love, only thence come the brawny embraces of the man,
Unfolded out of the folds of the woman's brain, come all the folds of the man's brain, duly obedient,
Unfolded out of the justice of the woman, all justice is unfolded,
Unfolded out of the sympathy of the woman is all sympathy;
A man is a great thing upon the earth, and through eternity"but every jot of the greatness of man is unfolded out of woman,
First the man is shaped in the woman, he can then be shaped in himself.
                                                                  Walt Whitman (from Leaves of Grass, first published in 1860 edition)




                                           From darkness into light



"You are the closest I will ever come to magic."? Suzanne Finnamore, The Zygote Chronicles

Deep inside the womb,nurtured by its mother the new life sleeps in a trance which is more like the act of a body in the time of death.But its tiny brain records everything it hears,even if it is not conscious yet,even if the realization of its own self and place in the world is far away,quite some time away.but its brain registers everything and everything is stored away.some will come back to haunt and some will come bringing joy.Like a ray of sunlight on a cold dark day,memories will some time come flooding back and with them will come recognition of love and bonds and of things that we lost in the fire.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Quote from what if - chapter 3


I am avini,daughter of ponni and nannan.I was alone in my blindness and i was alone in my soul.But the spirits of the forest have breathed their elements into me and now the light has pierced my soul and filled my womb.I am the light because of the light in me that has been given to me.I am beautiful because of the light and the soul that twinkles its heart every second and my heart beats with its beat.

Avini sat in the shade of the neem tree with her body leaned against the trunk for support.The full belly had now been noticed by all the villagers and they did what they could to help her.Just as many summers ago like her arrival had given hope to the village of kurinji,the elders of perumalvaram waited in anxiety for the coming of avini's child.Gunalan had been missing for many months and the villagers whispered that he had met another woman in a nearby village and was spending time with her.

But nothing could dampen avini for she knew she would have to be strong to bring up her child on her own and that she would need to draw on her every ounce of her strength and belief.Gayatri was her source of strength,every second of the time that passed and the cow followed her everywhere and watched over her like a faithful dog.But even avini had forgotten that gayatri had been with her for a long,long time and was now living way past the life span of a cow.


The tree undressed itself of its green clothes and stood naked with its brown bark and long limbs and all of the trees old clothes now lay at its feet burnt,dry and blowing in the wind.All the trees in the village and forest were shedding leaves and like lost children they flew here and there and were swept away by the villagers and carried away with the breeze.These were the days before the might of the summer sun would burn,bake and torment all things that lay under its eye and in its domain.Only the deepest lakes and ponds would still nurture their schools of fishes and creatures that lived in its watery world.But all other shallow water holes would dry up and and their underbellies revealed to the sun god.

Avini lived in her own world and in her own light and she knew that her child would come in to this world during the months of rain or just after it.Slowly but steadily a fear gripped her as the truth and reality hit home and she began to wonder how she was going to look after herself and her baby.Both her parents were gone and death had also taken away the kind-hearted  Pattamma who had been her mother-in-law.

The night brought a strange dream for her best friend Appanar iyya came in it and whispered words of strength.In the dream,they both walked and he pointed to a mountain and strange lights that were descending on top of it and " the gods are coming my child and they are coming to protect you.They and i will be there next to you,every step and you will never be alone.If the need arises,call for the voice and they will surely come and all will be well.I am in the forest and i am the forest and everything will be fine."


Avini woke up from her sleep and she felt the tears on her face and wondered if she had been dreaming and she reached out to feel the softness of gayatri next to her.Slowly she sat up and placing her hands around gayatri she hugged the cow and the night marched on over perumalpuram and in the darkness and in the shadows they stood guard,spirits of the forest and the lion who prowled the boundaries in secret,keeping any eye on the light and the life.

Forces of war were gathering in madurai and in the palace,standing in a balcony overlooking the vaigai river, the pandyan king kulasekaran looked at nikantan,his minister " how much longer and how much more of this slavery do the pandyans have to suffer under the cholas.Havent we waited enough and how much longer do we have to wait for the signs.'

Nikantan calmly " lord,the signs are here but the wait will be for a while longer.Maybe a few more years for the signs are a bit confusing."

Kulasekaran stared at nikantan and then turned to one the guards and ordered him to go bring him his personal astrologer, Sahasranamam iyengar .

Sahasranamam the official astrologer and also the chief priest of the temple came in and after bowing to the king asked him how he could be of help.

Kulasekraran asked him to read the stars and see if it was time to begin preparations for a war against the cholas and to fight to get back their freedom.

Sahasranamam sat down and after placing the charts,closed his eyes and meditated for a while and then opening them looked at the king with a puzzled expression.Kulasekaran asked him to be frank and open with his findings and waited while sahasranamam went about writing a few things down.

The astrologer looked up and said " my king,my lord.although i have been in this field for a very long time,and my father and my forefathers have been in your service for a long long time,even i am confused by these signs.Yes,our clan of pandyas will eventually triumph and inflict a huge defeat on the cholas but it will not be under you,but someone close to you.and even that victory will come from an outside force,a force from the heavens".

Kulasekaran took in all this information and smiled " well,now you have thoroughly confused me too.Victory for us under someone else but not from my blood but from an outside force.Do you mean to say that the lord i worship and pray to everyday is going to come down from his mountain kingdom and free us from our bonds."

Sahasranamam did not know how to answer this " my lord,that is why me and nikantan think it is better to wait until things become more clearer.Moreover we still need to gather more forces and forge alliances with the king from ceylon and with the kingdom from the malabar region."

kulasekaran looked at nikantan and sahasranamam and then " okay,i agree with what you say.but could you be more clearer on that outside force you mentioned for that intrigues me the most."

Sahasranamam looked at the charts and " my lord,our stars look very bright for the next hundred years and yet there is a new star on the horizon,rising in the east and it is going to outshine all of us and evrything we do.Our entire history is going to be based on this star and forever linked with its destiny.I am not sure why the charts are saying this and what it exactly means,but i promise that in a few months time,everything will be clear and i will be able to tell you more."

Kulasekaran wearily nodded okay and requested them both to leave him to think more about all that he had just heard.placing his mighty arms on the wooden beam,he looked at that rising sun and whispered a prayer " my lord,i live but i am dead.I am a king but i feel like a beggar.will you not free me and my people from this misery and tyranny of the chola kingdom.help me my lord,please help me.".

The tears flowed from his eyes and he wiped them with the silk cloth that covered his chest and then,right then,the clouds that covered the sun floated away and the light from our star blazed so mightily that kulasekaran had to hide his eyes for it was so bright.The light blazed on the golden top of the madurai temple and the king thought he saw his city bathed in golden light.he knew it was a sign,a message from the heavens and raising his hands over his head and bowing his head
chanted ''Thiruchitrambalam,Thiruchitrambalam".


The light was already here,in the womb of avini and it moved and the soul of azhagan blazed fiercely for it was ready to begin its voyage and its purpose.

I am azahgan and i am the son of avini.

I am fire and i am water. I am hell and i am heaven and i will bring peace to you.

kaalaththil azhiyaadha kaaviyam thara vandha
maaperum kavi mannane unakku
thaayoru mozhi solluven

pallakku parivaaram pataiyutan muti sootal
sollukku vilaiyaakume makane un
tholukkuL puvi aalume

vaazhvendrum thaazhvendrum valamendrum kuraivendrum
sakkaram suzhalkindradhu adhil thaan sariththiram nikazhkindradhu
yaarukkum vaazhvundu adharkoru naalundu
adhu varai poruppaayataa makane en
arukinil iruppaayataa

kaalaththil azhiyaadha kaaviyam thara vandha
maaperum kavi mannane unakku
thaayoru mozhi solluven

                 song from kalidas

Edited by s.satishkumar - 9 years ago

                                      Chapter 24

"We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls."? Anas Nin, The Diary of Anas Nin, Vol. 7: 1966-1974

Why are you here?  why are you born to these parents, married to this husband and what is it that bought you to this junction ?.
Some are born somewhere and end up somewhere else in a different part of the world and live their lives not knowing why, what or who bought them here. Sometime's paths cross and we wonder what if we had met that person before or why we did not meet that person before ?. life,  it seems is an equation that we constantly try to solve and see if we can come up with another answer via another formula.


                             From darkness into light

It had been raining steadily, heavily and the monsoon was slowly leaving the land and its rivers over flowing with water and now the water was creeping everywhere and forging new directions. The land had not seen the sun in a week's time and the cold was getting to man and beast and life was becoming unbearable. The little stream that ran through the village of perumalpuram was called sivatheertham and yet many people now wondered if it should have been called the agaya gangai which landed from the heavens on to the matted locks of the god they worshipped. The once gentle, shallow and gurgling stream had slowly swollen like a pregnant woman and was now raging through the village.

The elders of the village had somehow known that this monsoon was going to be bad and had moved most of the people to more elevated places near the temple.
The temple was situated on top of a small mountain and only a old priest and his wife lived on the premises. As the practice of old, the temple had leased the little property it owned to the farmers in the village and it was run on the income from the harvest but mostly with the goodwill of the villagers. The temple housed a small statue of lord vishnu and that was all it housed. It was an unremarkable temple in an unremarkable village and yet life revolved around it and with it revolved the lives of the villagers. Around the temple and slightly beneath it were small mandapams, built centuries ago for passing travellers to take refuge or rest their weary feet before they left to where ever they were going for not many people stopped at perumalpuram.

Whether by train or when you are travelling by road away from the city, you pass hundreds of villages and don't you wonder what is happening in those places. Don't you wonder what drama or what stories there must be hidden in those small and tiny villages and what dreams those children must have as they stand and wave to the people in the trains as it speeds past them.

The mandapam in which  avini had taken refuge from the rain was about as big as a small room but it was solid in construction and there was no way in for the rain to get through. It was large enough for both avini and gayatri to stay in and it also held her meager, worldly belongings like a few clothes, mats and some utensils. One side of the small space was filled with dry wood which was stacked up to the ceiling. This was an age old practice that the villagers followed for it would be difficult to get dry wood during the monsoon rains and so all the wood was collected during the last weeks of summer. The wood burned to make food but also burnt to give light and security in the dark. Outside the huge trees spread their branches and acted like an umbrella for the mandapam and for the lives inside and the light deep inside. The shadows moved nearer and nearer and the trees responded to their presence and magically moved closer, closer and until they were bent over on the mandapam and nothing would or could pass through this thick cover of green and bark.


The dark monsoon clouds resembled the skin of lord krishna and they overpowered the sun and one could distinguish between day and night only by the gray of light and black of the night. The only noise was the beat of the millions and billions of raindrops that fell on the land and forest. Birds, beasts and men huddled in whatever shelter they found and the world close itself and time marched on.

The pain hit avini with each spasm and she moaned and then the pain hit again and again and it was unbearable and the screams left her body and travelled above the din and drum of the rain and reached the ears of the wife of the temple priest. Gayatri bellowed and the shadows in the forest grew restless and the roar of a lion was heard by everyone in the village.

The temple priest got up in a hurry for he too had heard the roar and saw that his wife was awake too. He looked at her with tears in his eyes and with a big smile and whispered ' it is time'. He told her that they had to go help the woman for she was in pain and so slowly they set off down the mountain, in the darkness with a firewood in hand blazing its oil rag and shedding light for a few feet around them.

They came to the mandapam that avini had taken refuge in and the priest's wife  got busy boiling some water in a pot. She told her husband that it would be okay and asked him to sit near the entrance and she would call if she needed his help.

The pain increased with the spasms and the night moved on and then the water in the stream sivatheertham broke its banks and entered the village and at the same time the water in avini broke its boundaries and the old lady knew it was time and soon there would be new life in the village.

Time stood still and everything stood still and the temple priest standing guard knew that something special was happening and he knew it was magic and that it was beyond his limited reasoning.

Azhagan slipped out of avini in a rush and came out just as the sun came out of the dark monsoon clouds and the silence was broken by the screams of the child, the chirps of the birds and the roars of the lion. The priest did not know why he did it and he would ask himself why he did it but he fell to his knees and prayed to his god to protect the child and his mother. Many years later on her deathbed, the priest's wife would tell her grandchildren the tale of azhagan and how the light blazed around him as he was born and that his eyes glowed strangely.

The little fire blazing in the mandapam threw shadows all around it and it also threw light on the new mother and child and both the priest and his wife stared at them both and also stared at the mark on the child's left forearm. It looked like a birthmark and it moved and shimmered like a bunch of snakes. They stood watching in awe as gayatri the cow licked the baby clean and stood guard over mother and child.

Avini slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus her mind on her surroundings, for she had fallen into a deep sleep after delivering her child. She tried to wake up but was still tired and  slightly disoriented from  the pain of delivery and then hurriedly she reached out for her child and cried out in fear when she couldn't find it next to her. The priest's wife told her to relax not to worry and that she was cleaning the child with a cloth dipped in warm water. Avini begged her to bring the child for she was eager to feel and be with her baby. Hearing its mothers voice, the baby started screaming and protesting as if telling the world that it did not want to be separated from her, not even for a second, and kicked its legs and flailed its arms in warning. The priest's wife with a smile slowly placed the baby next to avini and the circle of magic closed between them. This would be their circle,this would be their bond, this would be their song, this would be their magic and no one else and nothing else would come near it or try coming near it.

The priest and his wife stood marveling at both mother and child and then he " avini,i have seen many a child born in this village and i have seen a few really beautiful children in the few times i have travelled to madurai and thanjai,but i have yet to see a baby as beautiful and radiant as this boy ".

Avini felt her child and saw the light of her child fill her senses and out beyond in the forest stood more lights and they stood watching her and avini knew she was not alone and was never alone.

Tears of joy filled her eyes and they filled her soul and she whispered to her son ' i have been alone and yet i loved you, ached for you before you were born. i have carried all these dreams and visions of you even before the spirits of the forest breathed you into me. I am ready to die now for i am content but i will live my life for you,i will breathe for you and die for you. I am beautiful because you are beautiful and so i will call you that. I will call you Azhagan.'

The boy stared at her and avini gasped when his tiny but strong fingers clasped his around her fingers and she knew why she had been named AVINI and what it meant.

Azhagiya kanne uravugal neeye
nee enge ini naan ange
en sei alla thaai nee
azhagiya kanne uravugal neeye


Whispers, fearful whispers filled the air and the priest and his wife turned and saw  that all the villagers had assembled outside the mandapam but stood shaking and shivering in fear. The priest did not know what had scared them so and then his eyes opened wide in shock and fear for the crowds parted and a huge black maned lion gently made its way towards the mandapam and standing near the entrance roared loudly again and again and then slowly stretched itself in front of the entrance and watched everybody and the sun rose and blazed mightily on the village and for many miles around, people in other villages would look into the distance and wonder why the rain fell on them and yet the sun shone down somewhere near the horizon .The legend of the lion and the birth of azhagan would be told and retold for many centuries and people would wonder and marvel and even doubt if something like this could have actually taken place.


I am Azhagan. I am the son of Avini. I have travelled from the dark and i have come bearing light. I am going to sing for you and you will listen to my song and it is a song of love, betrayal, heartbreak and war.



Edited by s.satishkumar - 9 years ago

               Queues,long lines and government offices

I remember my first train journey,for it was the journey that uprooted me from bangalore to chennai.The circumstances aside,the one thing i remember is the rose milk that i drank two or three glasses of and i was humored by the person accompanying me for my life was going through a bit of tragedy.

The central railway station was a constant fixture for in our reddys household someone or other at any given time would be coming from bangalore to chennai or leaving chennai to bangalore.When i was old enough,nearing 13 or 14 i think,my elders ventured me out to go purchase tickets for them or for us.Well all of us used to travel during the summer holidays to bangalore and sometimes my cousins used to come to chennai.

Standing in long queues has become an habit and i go in to a kind of trance like state and lose myself in the people and their voices.During the late 80's my pals seeni ,ramesh or shankar would go off to smoke and leave me to stand in the queue to buy tickets.Standing in line and in long queues is a prerequisite and a habit and a job that all indians know about and will remember fondly with aching knees,burning piles and rising blood pressure.

Today,most of the stuff like bank transactions,paying bills,buying tickets for films,flight,train and bus is done online in the comfort of our house but it was not always like this and still the traditions of aching knees and sore ankles  is maintained faithfully in counters where we pay our electricity bills or water bills.

Nothing has changed,importantly neither the attitude of people  nor the snail like pace with which the entity behind the counter deals out bills.You can drive up to the electricity bill counter or m.e.s as most of us know it in a BMW,wearing a rolex,tailored pants with a 1000 rs haircut and even the dog in the compound will know that you are high up in the food chain and yet the man will stand meekly when it comes to the queue and will be all smiles and humility when he hands over the electricity meter card to the entity behind the mesh or bars of rusted iron.The bent humble soul in tailored raymond wool will straighten up and beam like a school kid after the deal is done and look at everyone in the lines as if he is the lord of the manor,while frustrated people will watch him leave and sigh in frustration

I stand by and watch all this unfolding and smile to myself and look down on my red tape pure leather slippers and i flash back to the time when i or we used to own and wear one pair of slippers and well,mine used to be those rubber hawai slippers bought for 10 rs i think.I remember when one arm of the slipper used to slip out of its hole and i used to put a safety pin to keep it in place and realise nothing has changed but my slippers.

People still moan and groan and complain when they stand in queues and they positively burst an artery when they come to the counter and the entity goes for a tea break or toilet break.It has happened so many times when me and my cousins or me and my friends have stood for an hour or two for a film and have had the counter close just when we get to it.Needless to say i start off cursing with the most pure tamil words which i will leave to your imagination.

Cycle,motor cycle,walking or natarja service,bmw,audi q4,q3 f**k it,you come to a government office,buddy you better learn humility and you definitely be sure you have strong knees to stand and also to kneel and grovel at the entities in the offices.You better be ready to be assaulted with sweat smells and people trying to bugger you from behind,and better be ready to hear people talk like brave heroes and then turn to mellow jelly and grovel like slaves when they reach the counter.Now that act surely deserves an oscar.take a bow indian junta

This joke is dedicated to all Sales people!

A man was waiting to cross the highway but was hesitant because of
speeding cars.

Suddenly yamadharma appeared & said, "Man, why are you afraid like
this...You are going to live till 90 year of age. Don't let such
little things scare you ever."

The man moved forward with new courage, got hit by the first car and died.

In Heaven, he asked The yamadharma as to why did he lie. The Yama
Dharma Raja answered, "Sorry man, year-ending pressure buddy, had to
achieve my targets."

Happy Year Ending

(How true!)

When I'll be dead . .
Your tears will flow . .
But I won't know . .
Cry for me now instead !

You will send flowers . .
But I won't see . .
Send them now instead !

You'll say words of praise . .
But I won't hear ..
Praise me now instead !

You'll forget my faults . .
But I won't know . .
Forget them now instead !

You'll miss me then . .
But I won't feel . .
Miss me now instead !

You'll wish . .
You could have spent more time with me . .
Spend it now instead !

     Conversation between a Tamil Mami and Palakkad Mami

    Tamil Mami : Enga athukaar Engineer, unga athukaar enna panraar ?

     Palakkad Mami: Enga athukaar odittar ( Auditor )

     Tamil Mami: Ayyo Pavame, sorry Mami.

In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

In a New York medical building: "Mental  Health Prevention Center"

On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices, and workmanship."

At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."

In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."

In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

Some things you just can't explain

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer,
"Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
The farmer says,"Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.
The farmer then decides to try and answer,
"Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over."
That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"Try me" the man says.
The farmer relenting, continued "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over."
"Ok so 2 buckets of milk spilled. That still isn't that bad."
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
" So, what did you do then?" the man asked, intrigued.
"I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
"Wow, you must have been pretty upset!" but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So then what else did you do?" the man asked again. "
Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in.
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"Like I said! Some things you just can't explain."

Error in an Indian Classifieds  

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake...

 ****** MONDAY: For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

****** TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth's ad yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7 PM."

****** WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7 PM and ask for Mrs.Mani who loves with him.

****** THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

 

 Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her
excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

 Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the
best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

 A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new,
young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

 Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she
refused.  ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress,
and I'm wearing it,'' she replied.

 Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart.
I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''

 A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous
dress for her mother.

 When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you
going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion
where you could  wear it."

 Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do dear...I'm
wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.''


 (NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T
ENJOY THIS STORY?)
 Women are like phones -- they like to be held, talked to, and touched
often.
 But push the wrong button and you're disconnected!