Romantic Love vs Committed Love
As I see it, the CVs have given a glorious ending to Tumhari Pakhi.
This is one of the endings that on a superficial level gives you the feeling that Pakhi has pledged to live in Anshuman's memory - but dig deeper and you will see the bonding Pakhi shares with Veer.
Yes, my dear Readers - you guessed right. The love for Anshuman that Pakhi spoke of today to Lavanya is Romantic Love and the one she and Veer silently confessed to today is Committed Love.
Mind you, I am not talking about the friendship love she shares with Rohit (hope I got that name right).
I know some of you must be shaking your heads wondering what I am talking about.
Love, one of the principal components of human life, is such a nebulous concept that it is impossible for people to completely agree on what it actually is or means. That is why after watching today's show it left some people wondering - where is the positive ending (please see
Vinnie's post
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4230749).
Unlike Indian languages, English is quite limited in describing different forms of love. In Indian languages we have mamta for mother's love, bhakthi to denote divine love, pyaar for 😳 love, and so on. Whereas in English love for the Divine, a spouse, a child, a pet, yourself, a good meal, and family members into one generic word - love. In this post I am using the words romantic love and committed love.
In Indian language we speak of the soul's love and yearning for the Divine as being innate and something to be nurtured and cultivated in this life. It is a dedication of one's body, mind and soul to God. This love is not to be mistaken of the love of a person for his/her soul mate.
Pakhi the ideal romantic - spoke of her love for Anshuman akin to that of the soul yearning for the Divine. I
call this romantic love. Jungian
psychoanalysts see romantic love as a "projection" of a key part of one's inner
world onto someone else. IMO this explains
Pakhi's statement to Lavanya -"I am both Anshuman and Pakhi"!!
Pakhi in those 18 years of waiting for
Anshuman has conferred on him all kinds of wonderful attributes in her
imagination, which in time she has internalized as actuality. This has resulted
in her inflating Anshuman into god or goddess-like status. Therefore we hear her describing her love for
Anshuman in a manner used for Divine love in the Indian scriptures. In
short, Pakhi sees Anshuman more God than human and in her conversation with
Lavanya used phrases that talk of devotion, "forever-ness", and seen as perfect.
Her love for Anshuman is a
fantasy, a fairy tale adventure where time has stood still or it will fall
apart. This explains her teen-like
behavior in yesterday's episode where she was writing Anshuman-Pakhi (AP) on
the misted glass surface of the coffee table.
One day or the other, sooner or later, she will grow wiser, wake up to reality and become aware of her foolish romantic love for Anshuman.
Now, I will come to Veer and Pakhi's Committed Love. We don't see it because there isn't much to see. Committed love is about ordinary things. It is about being
supportive, affectionate, kind, caring, committed, responsive, and loyal.
Jungian
psychoanalysts describe it as as: "...a
willingness to share ordinary human life, to find meaning in the simple,
unromantic tasks: earning a living, living within a budget, putting out the
garbage, feeding the baby in the middle of the night. To stir the oatmeal'
means to find the relatedness, the value, even the beauty in simple ordinary
things, not to eternally demand a cosmic drama, an entertainment or an
extraordinary intensity in everything. Like the rice hulling of the Zen monks,
the spinning wheel of Gandhi, the tent making of Saint Paul, it represents the
discovery of the sacred in the midst of the humble and ordinary."
My dear Readers, even though Veer and Pakhi are divorcing what they share is Committed Love. Pakhi knows she can call upon Veer anytime for any reason and he will be there for her. She knows she can share with him her mundane worries and fears - there are no shooting stars but a steady, stable relationship.
When Pakhi comes out of her fantasy world of romantic love she will, with the dawn of wisdom, understand the meaning of committed love.
Gentle Reader, the CVs have today IMO shown at a superficial level a Pakhi who professes Romantic Love for Anshuman and is reluctant (note the hesitation in signing the divorce papers) to part with the Committed Love of Veer.
Tumhari Pakhi is a fiction - the CVs have left the choice to us fans to decide how we want to end Pakhi's story.
Edited by anonee - 9 years ago