RuMan SS||A Nebulous Relation Epliogue|Page 25|

It was a day of excitement for Ruhi, she was to receive several awards in her school's Annual Day, of course none of them were related to academics but co-curricular activities were on top of the list for her. She woke up at 4:oo am when the function was to be conducted during the evening. She ran through the hallway as soon as she got out of bed, it was a sight to see the occasional happiness on her face, the energy in her small mere phrases. But, all that energy was to vanish in some moments. Her father didn't choose to tell her earlier, she would fall apart in seconds. He found himself stuck, if he had chosen to tell her earlier, she would abandon her happiness, thus abandoning everybody else's happiness; if he told her the last minute, she would do the same. He found no way out, no easy technique to carry out his intentions and also not unintentionally break his little angel's heart. He called her into his room, after breakfast, hours before his departure.

"Today's a big day Ruhi, my little girl has accomplished so much in so less time." He said side hugging his daughter with a sense of pride but also un-recognizable guilt, at least not recognizable by her.

"I'm not little anymore dad."

"I know, and I also want you to behave like an adult, I want you to learn how to survive without your parents' support."

"Okay, but that will happen when it will happen, why are we discussing this now?"

"Ruhi, I'm-"

"You're what?" She knew what was coming her way; hence she tried to interrupt him as much as possible.

"I'm sorry Ruhi." There, he said it; her eyes looked upon the ground squeezing them in being let down...again. Still there was always hope, maybe he was apologizing for something else.

"What are you sorry for? You've done nothing wrong." She said with a chirpy voice.

"Ruhi, I can't come to your Annual Day, I'm sorry."

"Why?" she said in an unimpressed tone, showing no expression of sadness.

"Adi has to-"

"Everything is about Adi only right; you turned down last week's picnic for Adi bhaiya only right? Giving us the reason that you have a meeting."

"How did you know?"

"Dad, you think I'm an idiot? I know exactly what you're gonna do before you do it. Do you think Adi knows you as well as I do?"

"He has to fly abroad for an Olympiad exam and Shagun has her exams coming up, It's the final level, he has a chance of winning. All he needs is a lift to Russia. After I drop him off at the airport there I'll come back."

"Can you promise me you'll be back in time? No right."

"I'll be a little late for the occasion but please bear with me."

"Why can't you just give him off to an airhostess, he can go in the supervision of that person, I don't understand why you have to go."

"Ruhi, Adi himself wants me to travel with him, Ruhi please it's been ages since he asked me anything, Ruhi please."

"It's all about Adi isn't it?"

"Beta just try-"

"No, just explain to me that do you feel that his winning is more important than mine? Just because I've achieved at a lower scale means his is higher?"

"No, Ruhi you're taking it the wrong way. It's not that, you're thinking of this in a different manner."

"Then what manner should I be looking at this in? You only tell me."

"Ruhi, just try to understand, he is also one of my two children, you're his sister. He also needs attention from my side. Don't you think?"

She hesitated at first but finally gave into his true statement. After all she was the only one who would have the opportunity to spend time him. Her father might've been right; he too deserved love. Still she was not ready.

"No, you promised me you won't ditch this, no meetings, no business trips nothing."

"Ruhi-"

She realized this was no use.

"Fine! Whatever, just go!"

She turned around saying so, facing the source of light, she took a step out into the balcony. She held her elbows as she looked at the ground trying to hide her slowly revealing tears. She was strong, but she was also sensitive; even the strength she felt was for others, so that she could encourage the others. Her sensitivity always took the better of her in her case. She felt a belonging for her father, that she wanted him to be her father, only. Because she knew the turmoil she faced in the first six years of her life, she felt scared to let him go...to let go of those moments they shared after those dreadful years, it was a fear that those moments would involuntarily be replaced with twice as more hurtful times. She didn't trust her brother, that he would break her father completely. Protectiveness, she felt for him, that she couldn't again prepare herself to see the breakdowns of her father when the reason would be her brother. She questioned herself, "Why did I allow him to leave?" but then she remembered, he would eventually strike back with asking her to question herself, question her own actions in her over-protectiveness towards him. "Let him see for himself." She said to herself while raising her head high knowing very well that in just some hours he would regret that he didn't stay back. "But he never sees it." She said as she blinked her eyelids and all her uncontrollable tears gushed down her face.

"Ruhi, Ruhi I'm sorry, I'm-" She sprinted out of the room midway of his pointless apology, bowing down her head slowly lifting up her hands to wipe the tears hidden behind her hair. She knew her father was able to identify that she was heartbroken, but denied the fact herself to remind her that she would never stand vulnerable in front of her life's tragedies.

She never was as understanding as she was before, years earlier she had reasons to smile, reasons to be happy; but as she grew older she understood how big of a chaos she was stuck in, this hit her hard in the face every day that one day that day would come when her Adi bhaiya would mercilessly steal her father just to make him his own. At times she questioned herself, "Are you making a big deal out of this Ru? Is your brother really the devilish person you think he is?" These questions would always remain unanswered, that she never actually met him after her ninth birthday, the last time she saw his face. Conversations on the phone also sounded forced, after blackmailing them from both sides of the line to speak to each other.

The rest of the day was the complete opposite of what it would have been. She felt her achieving something would never be valid if her father was not a part of it. He on the other hand, thought the same way, his son was a big bore, he never opened up in their tete-a-tetes, instead he would do the same he did on the phone, shy away from answering some questions feeling that it was not relevant to the reason his father came to meet him. His job was to just pick up and drop him, nothing else.

"When will he understand, Adi bhaiya will never accept him." She asked the stars as she stared out the window awaiting her father, very well knowing that he lied when he said he would come back within the day.

"But there's always hope Ruhi." He said as he looked out the window of where he was seated, miles above the ground.

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