Posted:
oops didn't mean to reply to this thread.
we are already on 149.. too close to 150..sorry..
episode 298
di, yeh... maine mangwaye hain. di, i ordered these.
tumne mangwaye hain? you ordered these?
aaj wo... yes, today...
hamare liye? for me?
he was a little unsure as to how to handle this, his sister thought the red roses were for her but he had bought them for the girl whose birthday he really wanted to celebrate. he was wooing her in fact, dammit. trying to get her to be happy, forget the fight and the bitter words of the night before.
then anjali hugged him, and a tenderness came over him as he felt her in his arms... she had been in such a bad shape...
a hand went up to stroke her hair, his face showed his own need to see her well... almost seventy episodes later, as his di suffered terribly in a hospital he actually enunciated these words... when di was a little happy, i would think all was alright again. today he simply let his expression say it. he let her illusion remain.
haan, di, aap ke liye. yes, di, for you.
and with that he just hugged her, held her in his protective arms, made her safe again. every relationship has its place and need. he faced a challenge not unfamiliar to most of us. when, though his heart absolutely yearned for someone he loved and he had bought something as simple as her favorite flowers for her on her birthday, he just could not give it to her.
because at that very moment, another love needed to be cared for, given strength. and his beloved stood right behind watching the whole scene, clearly understanding the problem and approving of the choice he made. yet, in his own way, with only his eyes to tell her exactly how much she mattered to him and who he wanted to give those roses to, he said, of course he knew whose favourite flowers these were when his sister presumed he meant her. khushi's smile, which had peeped out already, became slightly bigger.
i liked the communication between asr and khushi here. the only thing that said what the in the head, was that message that asr just couldn't have written. apart from its tone, he never called khushi "aap".
i guess birthdays are about relationships in many ways. payal, who had also been trying to celebrate her beloved younger sister's birthday without much success till now, waylaid her when no one was around, holding her gift behind her, hiding it. khushi rose to the bait instantly. the girl obviously loves her birthday and a whole set of rituals are observed diligently by her family to mark it.
wasn't it on payal's birthday, when she had plans of organising a little surprise party that the man who was now looking at her with an ocean of love in his eyes had been instrumental in drowning her in a deluge? of an awareness that seeped through and poured all over and drenched the mind and body. and then there was the rain, of course.
a lovely little prattle between sisters.
kya chhupa rahi hai? what are you hiding?
tumhara sar. your head.
she wants her gift, loves that leg pulling on her bday... khushi is looking happy and herself. the gota on the saree gets special attention. (how come that saree too was never seen again? another bday ritual, maybe?)
tum hamesha hamesha hamehsha hamesha hamesha khush raho. may you always always always always always be happy.
payal makes a fervent wish for her sister. hamesha. it was always about that. especially today.
i feel bad for deepika pansare, a good actress, she portrayed an interesting payal, a girl who was quieter and more composed as compared to khushi, but who had depth, integrity and who was capable of thinking with clarity, she even had a steely determination, clear sense of right and wrong and tried to tackle all problems head on, facing them and often viewing issues in a rational, intelligent manner. and she never ever sounded preachy or achhi bahu, managing to look like a real person despite the mandatory tv bahu ridiculous saree, makeup, open hair. in the opening scene of ipk, she was stunning i thought, later in her simple churidars and low key make up with that quiet, lovely air, and surprising little bursts of humour, she was a girl i really liked. there was an intensity in her, a potential one sensed.
she also had a protective, tender, unquestioning love for her sister. a lot like asr's feeling for his di. the sisters shared a strong and sparkling tie, how they had dreamed together back in the early episodes. payal never knew how key she was in her sister's marriage, but then again, it was thanks to payal, that the two had met in the first place.
chaliye chaliye, miss kkgsr ji, chaliye... let's go, let's go, miss kkgsr, let's go.
miss kkgsr... cute.
it was nk's turn to wish bday girl. she was delighted with his gift, which was really a promise that he said he'd be her friend... hamesha.
she also said, she didn't mind at all about the roses. to bring a smile on someone's face if asr did it, how could she not like it? she liked his gesture very much.
asr had to hear that, in a touch of heavy, hindi serial direction, and quietly fall apart. poor chap, just wants to see her feeling upbeat and pagal.
when she walked into her room, there was darkness, and then lights. this was no dream from another day, it was actually happening, all those beautiful fairy lights hanging in clusters. she smiled. she must have guessed what was afoot.
i loved the lights, the look, the feel of this sequence. actually, i fell for the man woman thing by the poolside. that's where he had to set up a lovely surprise for his wife of course. though he had informed nk such things were cheesy.
but only asr could make cheesy downright knees knocking hot, i had no doubt. i even liked the cake, nothing fancy, perhaps ordered from this lady who does special ones from her home. khushi saw everything. khushi liked everything. her man's efforts were not lost on her. and i bet she wanted to have him wish her, make her cut that cake, feed it to her... you know all the bay stuff.
behind her, from the dark a man came out, a curious apprehension in his eyes...against the blue of the night and sparkling little yellow lights, his brownness was even more stirring... dark chocolate ganache in the after hours.
she gave him a sweet little smile... though she sort of kept her distance. i got the feeling she wanted his wooing.
then bag talk started. fur coat came up... ah, the cause of first rabba ve. maybe they should preserve it in a museum or something, orange juice stain and all.
forget it... bag ko bhool jaao...
the man said in asr vein, not smiling so much any more. instead, focused, goal oriented asr. okay, the little roughness in the voice, the clipped tone, the determined air, i just have to swoon.
birthdays can put funny pressures i think and the unexpected, not at all longed for can start to happen. some sort of crazy dance between two people that really is all about do you love me, show me how. it's an intimate thing... with most wives always complaining that he forgot or in my case, he never forgets but this angst in me around some sort of expectation.
key word i hit. expectation.
from the one you adore... because you want to be his most loved one... esp on that day. your day. oh i loved it when khushi raved about it being her birthday not his. and smiled with him when she planned her revenge. mosquito coil of course took me straight to the chaise longue and the canoodling warring lovers. i fell breathless into the pool when he commanded her to blow candle, saying i have set all this up and you jolly well will do as i say, celebrate, woman. that forced cake cutting, only asr ha ha. and the heavy duty won't give in, while my eyes are saying all sorts of things and my anger is showing love for laad governor, only kkgsr.
the expected janamdin things happened but in a slightly unexpected way.
i am weird i guess, to me all of this just said: super sexual tension, major pyaar.the party included candle blowing, cake cutting, cake eating, and additional surprise delights like finger jabbing, wrist grabbing, force feeding, a dammit, a step forward step back (which was short but real sweet, intense), eyes going from anger to adoring, birthday tantrum, and a most unique way of joining hands to celebrate.
however, sorry, that whole i don't want all this...
nahin chahiye humey bina matlab ki banawati cheezen. don't want all these meaningless, pretentious things...
pretentious? meaningless?
that was a senseless one. and very hurtful. okay, she was still mad at him and needed to be appeased. but this was churlish and ridiculous.
and it said, alas, to me... she really did not understand the man she loved at all.
which is funny, because she seems to understand other things pretty well, like why he gave his sis the flowers.
very weak writing. if they wanted to prolong the tension, there were other ways i bet to do it.
by the end of the show, khushi just started seeming totally insensitive. her love for asr hardly coming through. pity.
and that whole he does not know how to say happy birthday... a suddenly thought up story with no meaning, just to create five episodes. whereas the can't say sorry was highly plausible, given the man's personality; and melded beautifully with the story.
c'mon, let's cut the cake...
at least candle toh bujhao, dammit!
stop there right now!
since all these beena matlab ke cheezen mean a lot to me, i'll just be happy with the poolside romance. aww he put the fairy lights because during new year she had this sort of lights in her room. or is it because she just lights up, no fairy lights up his whole life.
even when she is being mean and a brat.
anjali made kheer, brought it up, gatecrashed the party, saw her brother and his wife together, realised it was her birthday, went fairly ballistic, especially about the roses... at last she knew whose favourite they were. in anjali like anger, she chucked the flowers. she recalled scenes of khushi and her shyam ji in various situations. did she feel perhaps, khushi was taking away both the men she loved and needed from her life? her two mainstays?
she had instinctively known who was the stronger of those two men and clung to him. just the day before she had asked him to make life as it used to be before. he had held her, rock solid, reassuring.
did she feel horribly insecure and turn totally petty because of that... how could you forget everything, chhotey? you'd said i was your world, now when i am in this state you are having fun with your wife.
it all sounded terrible.
yet, had the acting been a bit more nuanced and the direction a little less obvious, including the too pat under dressing and flat colours, i may have still understood this.
it's a crazy state of mind, extreme insecurity. not only asr, she has lost her parents too in a tragic way. and ever since childhood, her handicap has had its own effect, its own cruel play, making her feel all sorts of things that those who don't limp can never understand. chhotey was her anchor, then came shyam ji... things seemed to be better. she reached out for happiness but not too boldly. she did her pooja and path, pacifying the gids, seeking protection, praying nothing should go wrong.
then everything did go wrong.
somewhere i can identify with that broken fragile feeling. even its hysterical, almost vicious questioning of her brother's right to be happy.
but khushi's almost equally vicious rejection of asr, i will never get.
you forgot everything, anjali said of the man who remembered every single thing and tried his best, even if in his laad governor asr way.
"if you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?"
~~~ t.s. eliot ~~~
episode 296some things have a sense of intense familiarity. as though already recorded in your memory. you have been there before, the story in front of your eyes is overlapping with a story within you.
295 and 296 took me to that feeling. love's many faces, not always pretty, love's irrational injustice, love's sweet compelling call, love's supremacy... yes, as la had said, pyaar sabse bada hota hai... it has a hold and a healing in it, it sparks and ignites ultimately, past all the tum yahan aayi hi kyun, main tum se mila hi kyun, it's the biggest mistake of my life, etc., ones very dhadkane.
filmi i may sound, but there is a power there that supercedes all. and in submitting to that... such perfect syncing with life. saansey. hayee my filmy jiji.. hum bhi yahi maante hai..
everything he said when he left was wrong, especially the barb about shyam... unpardonable really.
yet, all of that was wrapped around that feeling that has come to stay in him.
and she was badly terribly hurt. shocked, insulted, anguished. for days everything had been in turmoil in their lives. but there had been the joy of finding each other. loving each other. trusting each other. now this.
i felt her heart break. i felt her intense agony.
and i felt his heart break too and his intense pain.
he had done wrong by saying what he did.
she was behaving not rationally by threatening to leave. she has told us about the sanctity of marriage so memorably. would she leave him because he said unpardonable things... or maybe his lashing out reminded her of the many others ever since the night of the terrace. You know at this point of the episode it felt fine to me. Instinctive that she is angry and hurt and in all that muddled up heightened emotion she wanted to leave. I didn't really think she would. Specially when he was definitely apologetic. Even being angry for sometime longer was umm chalo thik hai okay.. but time and again telling lies and almost running away and not even telling him why. that is not khushi. ughh.. am irritated just thinking of it.. sorry for the tirade..
a marriage, though, is really forever, the way khushi read it and it is beyond forever the way asr loved her...
this was just the hell of living in reality and being human.
i often think of tagore's shapmochan when i see their dance of anguish.
in the court of indra, it seems, the court musician was in love with the dancer and lost his concentration. indra banished them to earth and said they would meet there again and give each other extreme pain, utter agony and yet love each other... in that will be their redemption...
jao mortey, shekhane dukha paabe, dukkha debe, shei... hobey prayashchitta.
snatches of the oft heard lines come back. i used to thrill to that story. he is born truly ugly but a prince and a great player of the veena. she is a beautiful girl, a princess i think... they have an arranged marriage where he sends only his veena, not a picture. he has fallen in love with her... when she sees him, there is rejection, terrible hurting... and yet in the end, everything resolves itself and love enters the heart... the redemption is done... shapmochan means the erasing of the curse.
even at seven, eight and nine i could feel the pure power of the tale. and perhaps it was a great allegory of life as it's lived where we often wonder about pain and why it is there at all. more importantly it's a delve into the nature of love. that is sounding beautiful Indi di.
hurt is resident in it i think.
awful egregious hurt even.
must go through fire to find its complete caratage, all 24 of it.
she sat packing her clothes, a tiny forlorn creature on the bed with a little bag. he burst into the room. he knew he had erred terribly. he knew this would not be easy to set right. asr's need for his lover, his woman, his pagal, his chamkili was written all over him and filled every space available.
but she, today passive in her aggression, had erected a cold inert space around her... she had hurt so much, her heart almost closed and it was with rational arguments, even though with tears flowing down her cheek, she blocked his entry into her world.
to his desperate what are you doing... to his pleading you can't go, i won't let you... she gave him such difficult to fight answers.
he was tired, he was drained, he said he had not meant to say those things... he looked so wan, and said, don't do this, not today. I felt terrible hearing this. and what brilliant dialogues. don't do this today. felt so terribly real.
khushi persisted. too badly stung to reconcile, to resolve the pain.
every time she insisted, he grew more desperate. when she said she couldn't bear to hurt anyone, especially him... a world of wretched sad loving passed between two sets of eyes.
sometimes things do get so bad... so quickly.
and no matter what you try... nothing returns to sanity.
arnav singh raizada has never pleaded with anyone to stay back. he has never really sought any joy for himself ever since he has seen his mother die and his own betray him. a dark wall closes around his heart. he wants happiness for his di... even his family. but himself?
but now a shining warm crazy girl with innocent eyes and passionate giving love who pours mango juice in his shoes has thawed the cold, leapt right in with light. in the abyss of an ocean she has spotted a pearl and released it. it shines, it refuses to let darkness gain momentum, it gleams... such a lovely metaphor.
and it makes him want to be happy. makes him want something for himself even. makes him want to live. this quiet sad girl with her black canvas bag, packing her stuff. he can't let her go. I wrote almost the same thought di. that after his mother perhaps for the first time he asks something for himself. and she still refused. in a real fight we can never be in a giving mood.
main tumhare bina...
he starts saying what he knows to be true now... without you, i can't...
but she won't let him finish such sentences... that might be her undoing.
wonderful direction by arshad khan. a palpable, dense, tense, moment between lovers, both just saying i love you so much, in the middle of all the nasty words and i will leave you. somehow asr's need comes across more. khushi is doing to my mind what many women have done before in a patriarchal set up where women struggle in there own way, she's closed her emotions, toned down her feelings as much as possible and with her bruised dignity is "managing" this whole thing... mainly her agony, that bereft feeling within.
main tumhare bina...
she cuts in but my stomach has already felt his yielding crying need.
humse bardasht nahin hota, arnav ji
i can't bear it, arnav ji...
what is in those eyes of his. how much can a man need a woman.
ki hamari vajah se di taqleef mein hai...
that because of me di is in pain...
the eyes seem to change and say what! what about... and he says aloud the words.
aur main...
and me?
two little words... what about me... a man's need to be loved, to matter, to not be abandoned... not again. he has never asked for anything for himself... today and only with her, he does.
khushi has perhaps brought down the last of those walls. he can again want happiness and speak of his personal need. he doesn't have to be strong man, i can handle it all, he can be vulnerable... that is her gift to him almost. again a most wonderful thought di.
i can never express the sheer beauty of this moment...
but khushi was too hurt to hear.
and at last, he had to turn to his old friend, his habitual response pattern, anger, to manage the moment.
the contract came up. she was even more hurt. shocked really. after all that they'd been through... how could he... yes, he is a beast indeed... no prince, he.
which again said to me, to khushi the marriage was real now and not a mere contract for six months. in which case, leaving home as first option after your husband has hurt you may not be the best one. but today everything is meant to go haywire... a day of emotions out of control and loving through hurting.
he took all the name calling, he pretended he didn't care, though he did turn away from her as he threatened dire things. and when she had left the room... words pored through him.
sorry mujhe yeh sab kehna pada khushi, lekin tumhe main kaise jaane de sakta hoon... sorry i had to do this, khushi, but how can i let you go...
oh the voice. that break in it, the stress on tumhe, the lost feeling.
but iss contract ke poora hone se pehle main tumhe wapas paa loonga... but before the end of the contract, i'll get you back. look at that acting.
later when she stood sad by the pool and spoke to the stars, he remembered of course that very first time she had told him about her conversation with the stars, healed him... tears seem not far away and both their minds go to the moment that tied them... for six months and for eternity. their wedding. the threats, the signs of lifelong commitment... mangalsutra, sindoor, not just anger and violence.
i am sorry, khushi, mujhe maaf kar do, maine tumhe itna dukh pahunchaya hai, but i will bring you back
tumhe wapas jeetke rahunga
aur apne zindagi ka hissa banoonga hamesha hamesha ke liye.
i am sorry, khushi, forgive me, i've hurt you so much, but i will bring you back, i will win you back and make you apart of my life forever and ever.
i am looking at a doer. a man who would make his destiny, if he has botched it, he will set it right. i have loved this essence of a man taking charge and responsibility of his own life in this character. he makes me ponder free will. why we have it... what are we to do with it... what is our say in our life, what is from somewhere else.
in the morning, the cutest of mistakes. in one simple sentence we know who has become really and truly important. when he finds khushi missing, instantly a fear, a worry... rushes around then walks into di's room and without thinking...
di, aapne khushi ko dekha kya?
di, have you seen khushi?
sabse important baat has a way of finding its way and coming to light.
just two things about the new chapter of khushi's birthday now opening. only ms irani can look so pretty and jhalli in that ghastly pink blue velvet monstrosity. and when he walked in, he was, for once, not looking his usual handsome self... a bit haggard, hair oily, skin dank. but the eyes burned. and i was happy to know, it was not just his good looks that got me. actually, he has been looking a little tired, face puffy since his return.same pinch i said the exact same thing about him not looking good. haha not about the eyes though..
khushi is trying to be happy, and so, acting corny. she has told nothing to her family.
how dare you, khushi... man is here.
jab main tumse baat kar raha hoon toh meri taraf... when i'm talking to you then look at...
he was beginning to lose his cool again. disproportionate anger, uff i wish they had delved into this trait. why when where how of it.
bua ji's revelation has him in shock. then she lands him in a mess: didn't bring a gift?
and again talk starts between two sets of eyes.
you didn't tell me...
why should i ? you hurt me so much.
but 296 was really about the need in a lonely, tough man, who can't do without the love of his life any more. and its most telling moment... aur main?
for months, a song has said asr to me... i didn't even get all the words, what they said or meant, but it was asr. i felt it land perfectly on the two words. made a vm, do take a look.[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoNrnd_6g4&feature=youtu.be[/YOUTUBE]
mohit chauhan and priya panchal sing, rapping is by tanvi shah and dean sequiera. music is by sachin-jigar and bezubaan is written by mayur puri.
hai jo lahu mera, behta chala
my blood, it just kept flowing
dekho junoon mera, kehta chala
look at my madness (obsession), it kept saying
khaabon ka tha makaan jo dehta chala
it was a house of dreams that kept falling
bezubaan kab se main raha
i have been without a say (tongue) for so long
begunaah sehta main rahaa
innocent (without committing a sin) i've endured so long
bezubaan kab se main raha
i have been without a say (tongue) for so long
begunaah sehta main rahaa
innocent (without committing a sin) i've endured so long
no pains, no fear, no shouts, no beers
i wanna make my life peaceful and cheer
me, you, who wanna live here
so just let me breathe
bezubaan kab se main raha
i have been without a say (tongue) for so long
begunaah sehta main rahaa
innocent (without committing a sin) i've endured so long
bezubaan kab se main raha
i have been without a say (tongue) for so long
begunaah sehta main rahaa
innocent (without committing a sin) i've endured so long
khwab ka tere qissa hoon
i am a chapter in your dream
tera hi toh main hissa hoon
i am part of you really
mujhko na kar yun juda
don't make me separate from you
can anybody tell on me?
no! no!
you better not stop me
you better not flop me
from who i wanna be
it's my destiny
don't mr. stinner
here comes the winner
play on the bass up in the race
no pains, no fear, no shouts, no beers
i wanna make my life peaceful and cheer
me, you, who wanna live here
so just let me breathe
ka ka boom... ka ka boom... ka ka boom
ho...ya!
meri jagah teri nigaahon mein
my place is in your gaze
ho na ho main chala un raahon mein
there or not, i walk those paths
jo ladkhada gaya kahin
if i stumble somewhere
toh aaoge tum hi toh
then you're the one who'll come
thaamoge tum hi toh
you only shall hold me
phir berukhi... kyun hai mujhse
then why this indiffrence to me
kyun aise bhala ho mujhse khafa
why are you angry with me like this
bezubaan kab se main raha
i have been without a say (tongue) for so long
begunaah sehta main rahaa
innocent (without committing a sin) i've endured so long
bezubaan kab se main raha
i have been without a say (tongue) for so long
begunaah sehta main rahaa
innocent (without committing a sin) i've endured so long
...
i edited the song and the sequence varies.
| topics | author | replies | views | reply |
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| Vandy_KD | 96 | 27793 | ||
| Mysticaldivine | 170 | 13536 | ||
| Koeli | 262 | 68031 | ||
| VeiledWords | 696 | 82810 | ||
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