so since i am velli😆 , i am updating the first chap too. comments , comments 😆, wait I ll reply. You guys read this too and tell me if you like it :) and remember the golden rule ignore the errors 😆
CHAPTER 1
"Is it possible to fall in love
with somebody at first sight .The way they show it in movies, does that love at first sight
actually exist. I don't know , maybe it
does , maybe it doesn't . All these years I have scoffed at the idea of love
itself , so love at first sight was just
too large a concept for me to digest or more like a way too cheesy
concept.
How is it then that I have fallen in love with Randhir Singh Shekhawat and that too , at first sight itself. "
I turned the page and came face
to face with an emaculate and
absolutely perfect sketch of dad right
down to the little scar he had above his upper
lip which often went unnoticed by majority of the masses . I gaped at it
with awe and my heart swelled with pride too know that my mother
had been an artist and that too a thumping good one. Below the sketch it said Randhir and
was followed up by another paragraph
which I started reading.
" Randhir Singh Shekhawat , those were the first words out of his mouth and
never had I felt more at peace , than I
did at that moment . He averted his eyes to me and my breathing hitched and
god, never did my heart beat so fast than with just one look of his , it did . His eyes
crinkled as he graced me with a loop
sided smile and said " hello " making it a moment that I meant to treasure all my life ,
the first words that he spoke to me
and yet I was unable to respond , as I stood there rooted to the ground
resembling a mute , sculpted statue . Kaustuki quickly thrust her
hand forward , introducing both herself
and me and she was followed by Vidhushi who too smiled warmly at him which was a surprise seeing that my sister didn't take to the presence of strangers well . "
"Pyar, mohabbat, aashiqui sirf lafzon ke sivah aur kuch nahi ...
par jab woh mila ... in lafzon ko mainne mil gaye"
"Alia" I heard my
dad call .
"Yeah coming " I quickly shut mom's diary and put it under my
pillow . It wasn't that nobody knew that
I had it , it wasn't a secret , infact it was a gift from my family to me yet
somehow it seemed so personal , something which I wanted to keep to myself
alone ,
far from the prying eyes of the world . With it near me I almost felt as
if I had a part of mom with me , a part which even death couldn't snatch away
like it did mom , a part which I
treasured as I would have my mother if only she were here today . Which she wasn't that's why I was grabbing onto
whatever little of her I could have to myself and keeping it under the pillow
seemed like the right way to go about
treasuring it .
"Alia "I heard my dad call again .
"Yeah coming coming ..hold on "I said I as quickly bounced
down the stairs from my room to the living room.
"What is it?" I asked dad . He turned around to frown at me
and I couldn't help but compare him with mom's sketch of him. It was no secret
that my dad was good looking like really good looking . He was pretty young also , only
38 with two 14 year old kids and though
I found it absolutely appaling but apparently that only added more to his appeal
, well atleast it seemed to . We can't even go
to a basic grocery store without someone hitting on dad , a little traumatizing and mentally
scarring if you ask me but again that is one thing , however the moment he says I ve got two kids they
look at him like , I don't know , like people seeing the sun rise for the first
time , I guess its majorly because of shock because he looks way too young to
have kids as old as us and then comes the glint in their eyes accompanied by
the all so sexy smirk , apparently though
again , mind you .To me it seems
more like the" uh I forgot to brush my
teeth so this is the best I could smile today" types expression . That seems to
get them more attracted , though it was
said with the intention to ward them off ,
but seems like lady luck isn't much into him unlike all the other ladies we come across .
What is worse though is that he hogs the attention , everywhere , from parent
teacher meetings to birthday parties , you name it .
"You aren't listening to me are you ?"
"What ..no ..i mean yes , of course I am " I snorted to rest
my case in style .
"What is it with you and snorting , we don't want you to
seem more like the pig that you look like do we .."said my twin brother Reyaan as he entered the kitchen with his ever so annoying grin plastered all over his
face and the urge to smack it right of him had never been so strong , but I
didn't because lets just say that the
few times, actually no that's wording it lightly , the
innumerable times that we have gotten into fights it s usually me who comes
out all blue black and bruised . That is not to say that he was strong , it's just that I am non violent . "Yeah more like weak " I mentally snorted at my
reasoning.
Reyaan was the spitting image
of dad not that I wasn't , only my eyes were like my mother's but Reyaan he was his photocopy .Right from his deep set dark eyes down to the crooked little toe of his right foot.
" Yeah and we don't
want you looking like the ...the...ummm
..yeah the buffalo that you are , ha."I
retorted back with as much conviction and snarkiness I could manage to
incorporate in my tone.
"Seriously , that's the best you could come up with "Reyaanreplied with mock horror etching his features.
"And all you could ..."
"You guys seriously , save some of this for the rest of the
day please. I mean one it's a Sunday today for gods sake and two it's just 7 in
the morning ."dad sighed clearly exasperated . I couldn't really blame him for me and Reyaan could indeed be quite a
handful at times .
"Sorry " I mumbled with Reyaan following my suit.
As dad made breakfast for us I couldn't help but wonder how
had it been for him when he had first met mom , what all emotions must have
coursed through him ? Only when I saw the crestfallen look on dad's face did I
realize that I had worded my thoughts more loudly than I had intended to. Reyaan threw a glare my way and to diffuse the situation started gobbling down the hot chicken , while trying to make small talk with dad ,attempting to divert his attention from my folly , only to yelp out in pain because that's how hot it was . Dad
immediately broke out of his trance and
followed up by first smacking Reyaan on
the head and then simultaneously lecturing him while urging him to drink the
ice cold water to cool down the burn.
All these years whatever we had learnt about mom had been
from our family , never had we heard dad talk about mom ,about how she was ,
how they had met , nothing . As a kid when we would end up blurting out
questions regarding mom , unable to hold in our curiosity any longer , dads
face would immediately harden only to incorporate a pain beyond his years on it
, while our family would give what I
always assumed to be dirty looks to dad , this would lead to him walking out
and my aunt's would answer our questions while the rest of them tried to engage
us in various other activities to keep our mind
of mom . As we grew , the same pattern continued ,only difference being
the disappearance of the dirty looks that our family used to throw towards dad
in such situations .With time me and Reyaan both learnt not to bring our mom up
in the presence of dad and now that I was reading mom's diary I could very well
understand his reaction , if mom had felt so strongly about him , god only
knows how much my dad must have loved her , how much they must have loved each
other , and how much her death must have affected him.
"I am sorry dad " I muttered
"No it's ok . You
both should go and get ready , Kaustuki will be here any moment." said dad and
that's when I remembered that we had
planned to go shopping today with Aunty Kaustki and Aunty Vidhushi .
I ran up the steps to my room to get ready .While taking out
my clothes a picture fell out of my cupboard . It was my mother's photo and the
only one that I had . Dad had given it to me along with mom's diary and that
was the only time I had heard him speak about mom. I distinctly remember there
was a time when I had interpreted dad's
avoidance of mom's topic to his lack of love for her , only with maturity did I
realize how wrong I actually was , for as a child I had failed to notice the
lack of spark in his eyes , the robotic nature of his actions when me and Reyaan weren't around because only around us did he seem like he could finally breath . I had missed the sound of his muffled sobs as he cried himself to sleep each night with
mom's picture in his hand's and the numerous pictures and belongings of her that he had carefully preserved till date , even a decade after her death .Also
never had I seen dad regard any of the ladies who showed interest in him which
in itself spoke volumes of the love that they had shared.
I carefully put the photo under my pillow along with mom's
diary . I couldn't wait to come back and read some more of it . I gave a final
look to myself in the mirror, deciding I looked decent enough I started down
the stairs but topped mid way when I heard aunty Kaustuki's muffled sob .
"She asked me what I felt when I saw Sanyukta for the first
time today Kaustuki . I..."dad's pained voice was cut off by Aunty Kaustuki "Randhir please how long are you going to be so hard on yourself ?"
"No Kaustuki you don't understand , the excruciating sense of
guilt I feel each time I hear my kids ask about their mother and yearn for her
and today , god , how was I supposed to tell Alia that the first time I met her
mother all I felt was hate for her ."
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