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Good Evening this is Shoomie and you are watching SSN ! We are please to present exclusive footage of pre production meeting of RR team!
Producer: I really really really want to do a BIG DABANGISH movie but unfortunately CPA tells me I cant afford one so lets bring THE BAM to chota parda!
Director: easy peesy I can do that I've seen enough Amitabh, Sunny and ----- movies!
Producer: good what do you need?
Director: tapes of few 70's, 80's movies to refresh my memory, couple weeks of outdoor shooting, guy/gal with a camera who knows what he/she doing!
Producer: done what else? What about story?
Director: oh yeah! We may need that! Quick you call your child I'll call mine and ask what's the last movie they saw and what's the last book they read. ( director's daughter one look at the caller ID hit the ignore button, producer daughter goes Ramleela and THEY are MAKING us study Othello)
Producer: Othello it is, promos Ramleela!
Director: now we are talking a man with trust issues
Writer: that's right up my alley, lets throw in a regional dialect, mooch and mane for the angry young man look, village belle with rang birange kapade.
Producer: dont forget the TRP's we need tear jerkers so forget Bard the girl has to be an orphan.
Writer: better yet we traumatise the girl, give her nightmares by killing the parents in first episode
Director: we shoot a grand outdoor "nightmare" with fire,sand, AK47, camel, cape the whole 9 yards!
Producer: that sounds grand but if I'm spending that much money I need maximum mileage.
Director: dont worry that nightmare will be played once every episode.
Writer: wait wait it HAS to be intense love story other wise I'm out. And also there has to be a snakewa who is worshipped by his Janta!
Producer: ok, ok you get to work on the "intense" scenes, I'll do better than a snake I'll get you a dinosaur!
Director: you know what we will throw in a 80's BW saccha pyar wala dancer too so you get double dhamaka for "intense" scenes!
Writer: ooh ooh can I write VERY INTENSE BOLD scenes between the Mooch Man and BWSPD so there is no kocchin of mooch man's virginity. I hear those ladeej on IF had a field day diss-cussing my previous gig bitwa's bizness.
Stunt Guy: dont forget the blasting bikes, guns of nevrun outta of bullets, pyres and pyrotechnics!
Music Director: you guys dish out whatever c*** you want I'll throw some soulful music and DOP will capture the sand dunes to perfection and casting director will get actors who can act so the suckers will tune in every night no matter what!
Thats all folks, Shoomie freezing off!!
Disclaimer: plain and simple snark, no hidden agendas, no allegiance to actors/actresses/PH/characters! Just nirmal anand of snark!!
Producer: I really really really want to do a BIG DABANGISH movie but unfortunately CPA tells me I cant afford one so lets bring THE BAM to chota parda!
Director: easy peesy I can do that I've seen enough Amitabh, Sunny and ----- movies!
Producer: good what do you need?
Director: tapes of few 70's, 80's movies to refresh my memory, couple weeks of outdoor shooting, guy/gal with a camera who knows what he/she doing!
Producer: done what else? What about story?
Director: oh yeah! We may need that! Quick you call your child I'll call mine and ask what's the last movie they saw and what's the last book they read. ( director's daughter one look at the caller ID hit the ignore button, producer daughter goes Ramleela and THEY are MAKING us study Othello)
Producer: Othello it is, promos Ramleela!
Director: now we are talking a man with trust issues
Writer: that's right up my alley, lets throw in a regional dialect, mooch and mane for the angry young man look, village belle with rang birange kapade.
Producer: dont forget the TRP's we need tear jerkers so forget Bard the girl has to be an orphan.
Writer: better yet we traumatise the girl, give her nightmares by killing the parents in first episode
Director: we shoot a grand outdoor "nightmare" with fire,sand, AK47, camel, cape the whole 9 yards!
Producer: that sounds grand but if I'm spending that much money I need maximum mileage.
Director: dont worry that nightmare will be played once every episode.
Writer: wait wait it HAS to be intense love story other wise I'm out. And also there has to be a snakewa who is worshipped by his Janta!
Producer: ok, ok you get to work on the "intense" scenes, I'll do better than a snake I'll get you a dinosaur!
Director: you know what we will throw in a 80's BW saccha pyar wala dancer too so you get double dhamaka for "intense" scenes!
Writer: ooh ooh can I write VERY INTENSE BOLD scenes between the Mooch Man and BWSPD so there is no kocchin of mooch man's virginity. I hear those ladeej on IF had a field day diss-cussing my previous gig bitwa's bizness.
Stunt Guy: dont forget the blasting bikes, guns of nevrun outta of bullets, pyres and pyrotechnics!
Music Director: you guys dish out whatever c*** you want I'll throw some soulful music and DOP will capture the sand dunes to perfection and casting director will get actors who can act so the suckers will tune in every night no matter what!
Thats all folks, Shoomie freezing off!!
Disclaimer: plain and simple snark, no hidden agendas, no allegiance to actors/actresses/PH/characters! Just nirmal anand of snark!!
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