Fate-Mate Thread 13 Chapter 37 - Page 13

Part H

 

Why was she here?

WHY?

HOW?

 

If only she knew any answers to these questions...

And the previous questions...

 

And that dream...

And that name...

And his face...

 

She continued walking...

 

Lost in her thoughts...

She looked around. Not knowing what to do.

 

Now what?

Should I call him? Should I check on him? Why am I so worried about him?

 

I am not worried about him. I am worried about the office.

Yes, the office. And Manny. And the fashion show. And...

 

And him?

 

No, absolutely not.

 

There is nothing wrong with him anyway...

He just didn't come to work...

Or college...

 

She stared at the starless sky...

Trying to find something...

Figure things out...

 

About all this.

 

Her job.

His help.

His lie.

That dream.

 

But nothing made sense. How could it not make any sense?

 

She couldn't hear anything...

She couldn't see anything...

Everything was a blur...

 

Just like her life...

And that dream...

 

 

After the sleepless night and the restless day...

His tired-self decided to get some fresh air...

 

He heard the thunderstorm...

It reminded him of her...

 

Just like everything else.

 

He opened the window...

And looked at the dark cloudy sky...

 

Just like his day...

Or his life.

 

His eyes moved around and what he saw was unbelievable...

 

 

He was shocked.

He was happy?

 

Or simply confused?

 

No, he must have been hallucinating...

He didn't know. He wanted to know. He wanted to be sure.

He wanted it to be real...

 

He started walking.

 

Down the stairs.

Out the door.

On the grass.

Towards the hallucination...

 

What am I doing here?

What is wrong with me?

Why did I even come here?

 

Her mind was racing with her own thoughts when she heard the most unexpected voice...

"Gloomy?"

 

Part I continues...

 

Part I

 

Her mind stopped thinking.

And stopped racing.

 

Her body froze.

And relaxed simultaneously.

 

How was that possible? She was supposedly mad at him.

REALLY ANGRY.

How did his voice calm her mind so much?

 

How did his voice soothe her confused thoughts?

How was that possible?

 

Suddenly everything seemed alright.

 

No more anger.

No more complaints.

No more accusations.

 

Just by his voice?

No. It wasn't his voice. It was that name.

 

Gloomy.

Not Khushi today...

 

She finally looked up and saw him standing on her right.

He was looking at her...

 

And then it hit her. She was actually there.

At his house.

Physically there.

 

After saying so much to him the previous night.

After getting so mad at him...

After avoiding him all day yesterday...

After refusing to discuss anything...

 

How was she going to explain her presence...?

At his house?

 

What was she thinking?

Why did she go there?

 

What was she going to say to him?

 

And there it was; embarrassment.

Evident all over her face.

He was still looking at her.

In confusion.

 

She had to say something...

 

She spoke "I...I don't know...why I...I...came here...I mean...I was...going..."

"I didn't ask you anything" was his humble reply.

 

And there it was.

He made her comfortable. Yet again. Just like that.

 

They continued looking at each other...

Without blinking.

For their own reasons...

 

He was utterly surprised that she was there.

She was just amazed that her anger was nowhere to be found.

 

He walked closer to her and sat on the same bench.

Leaving generous space between them.

 

They both remained quiet. Not knowing where to begin, what to say, how to proceed...

 

"Where were you all day?" She finally broke the silence...

"Here" was his one word reply.

 

Khushi: You didn't come to work today.

ASR: I know.

Khushi: I mean...why?

ASR: I didn't want to...

Khushi: Manny was trying to reach you all day.

ASR: Oh!

Khushi: Oh? Don't talk like you don't know.

ASR: I don't know.

Khushi: He has been trying to call you since morning and you don't know?

ASR: My phone is off. Or the battery is dead. I don't know.

Khushi: Someone from the office came here...to get your signature...you don't know?

ASR: No.

Khushi: You were home today? Right?

ASR: Yes.

Khushi: What kind of staff do you have? It was so urgent and they didn't even inform you?

ASR: No one is home.

Khushi: What? What do you mean? Where is your staff?

ASR: Off.

Khushi: Off? Why?

ASR: I just wanted to be alone...

Khushi: You fired them all?

ASR: What? No. I gave them off.

Khushi: All of them? Even Aunty?

ASR: Who? Oh...yes, her too.

Khushi: You don't want to be disturbed and Manny is about to resign. Do you have any idea how angry he was?!

 

Part J continues...

 

 

Part J

 

She didn't get any reply. Now she turned to see his face...

 

Khushi: Did you hear me? Manny might leave your fashion house...

ASR: I heard you.

Khushi: You don't care?

ASR: I can't stop him.

Khushi: He is planning on leaving because of you. He is frustrated because of you. He is mad at you.

ASR: I didn't do anything...wrong...to him...or...

 

And she noticed him looking down while staring at the dark green grass.

 

Khushi: You shouldn't avoid your work because of me. I...am...

ASR: You are?

Khushi: I am going to resign...

ASR: No.

Khushi: What? What do you mean no?

ASR: I mean you are not going to resign.

Khushi: You can't decide that. You are not my boss.

 

And she looked at him.

Her reply contradicting the truth.

 

She saw the concern on his face...

In his eyes...

After that statement...

 

But her anger had vanished long ago right when he said Gloomy...

And there it was...

The missing laughter in their conversation...

 

Her laugh.

She turned to see his distressed face. And just laughed.

Out loud.

 

And continued laughing...

 

Making him feel more at ease...

And he continued admiring her laughter...

In silence...

 

Her eyes twinkled again...

Her face glowed again...

And her old self was back.

The cheerful Gloomy...

 

No. Khushi. No. Gloomy.

 

Her.

Whoever she was.

 

But...

Yet again...

 

Tears.

In her eyes.

Because of him.

 

And she stopped laughing...

Her eyelids closed...

And wet her face...

 

He wanted to console her...

Or himself?

 

She quickly wiped her tears and said...

 

Khushi: You should have told me...

ASR: I know...

 

Khushi: I am SO mad at you.

ASR: I am sorry.

 

They both remained quiet.

 

ASR: I have already explained you yesterday my intentions...

Khushi: I know...I remember...but you should have at least told me...

 

ASR: Just tell me how to fix this...

Khushi: I already know how to fix all this. I will resign.

ASR: No. That's not possible. That's not forgiving me. That's punishing me.

Khushi: No, it's not.

ASR: You got that job because you deserved it. And your leaving means you are punishing me.

Khushi: No, that just means I can't work there. I won't work there.

ASR: That's not an option Gloomy. It's just not an option.

 

He was quiet now. So was she. She turned to see him again but his sight concerned her...

 

His face was exhausted.

His eyes were pale.

His forefingers pushing into his forehead skin.

 

She noticed him, she spoke in clear concern.

 

Khushi: What's wrong? You look so...so...tired.

ASR: Nothing is wrong.

Khushi: Tell me...what's wrong? Are you having a headache?

ASR: Yes.

Khushi: Do you want medicine?

ASR: No.

 

 

Part K continues...

Part K

 

Khushi: You should take medicine. You don't look well.

ASR: I am fine.

Khushi: No you are not.

ASR: I am. Don't worry about me.

Khushi: You look tired. Your eyes are red. You are clearly not looking so well. Why don't you take some medicine for your headache?

ASR: I am fine.

Khushi: What is your problem?

ASR: My problem? My problem is you. I haven't been able to think straight since yesterday. It's been killing me that I hid the truth from you. I explained you why I did all that. I apologized. But you are still mad at me. That's my problem.

 

He continued staring at that dark green grass.

His hands were fidgeting...

He kicked something in that dense grass...

 

My problem is you.

She could hear that over and over again in her mind. Or her ears. Or her heart?

 

She knew he gave her the job.

She knew he was only trying to help her.

She knew he could have told her.

She knew he didn't.

She knew he hid the truth, little too long.

She knew it was his fault.

 

But by just looking at his face, she knew little more than all that.

 

He could never hurt her.

Never.

 

Not for this. Not for anything.

 

She knew he was genuinely trying to help her with the job offer.

She knew he felt guilty about hiding the truth.

 

She knew.

All of it.

 

She knew she was rude to him yesterday.

She knew she was hurt but she also knew she shouldn't have talked to him like that.

 

She didn't like all that.

 

His words echoed in her ears, over and over again. She was his problem.

 

 

And she finally realized she may have been little out of line with him last night.

She made him this upset.

She created that entire ruckus at work.

She was the cause of his headache.

 

She was his problem.

 

He was still looking down, lost.

With obvious strain on his face.

She spoke.

 

Khushi: I am sorry.

 

Surprised to see, or rather hear, her sorry.

He looked up to see her.

And saw her apologetic face.

 

She was looking directly at him. With those eyes of hers.

Contrite.

 

Except he did not want to see her like that. He did not want her to feel sorry. He did not want her to feel bad.

At all.

For anything.

 

He spoke...

 

ASR: Why are you saying sorry?

Khushi: Because of all the problems. Manny, work, you, just everything.

ASR: Gloomy, it's not your fault.

Khushi: It is. Let me see if I have something for headache in my bag...

 

She started shuffling in her bag, avoiding looking into his eyes.

She started talking, while raking her bag, to him, no, more to herself.

 

Khushi: Why can't I find anything when I need it? Where is the medicine? Why do I have all these things in my bag?

 ASR: I don't want any medicine.

Khushi: It's here, I will find it. Give me a second. When did you eat last? It's best to take it after food.

ASR: Don't worry about it, I will take it later.

Khushi: No, right now.

ASR: I will. Later.

Khushi: Why are you saying later? What's wrong?

ASR: Nothing. I will. Later.

 

She could tell there was something wrong.

She asked again...

 

Part L continues...

 

Part L

 

Khushi: Did you eat anything?

ASR: What?

Khushi: Did you eat anything?

ASR: Why are we talking about this now?

Khushi: Because I want to know. When?

ASR: I said I will take the medicine. Give it to me, I will take it.

Khushi: When?

ASR: I don't know Gloomy. I don't know. Yesterday. Maybe. I don't remember.

Khushi: You haven't had food since yesterday?

ASR: I told you I don't remember. Probably.

Khushi: Let's go inside, eat something.

ASR: So?

Khushi: So?

ASR: You forgive me?

Khushi: Let's not talk about all that right now...

 

Before she could complete her sentence, her phone started ringing...

She looked at it and pressed end.

 

Khushi: Let's go, let's eat.

 

She put the phone aside, on that bench...

 

Her phone rang again. She looked at the phone again...

And paused. He could clearly see the contemplation on her face...

Then she pressed end again.

 

ASR: Who is it?

Khushi: Priya.

ASR: Why aren't you answering?

Khushi: I will talk to her later.

ASR: Why later?

Khushi: It's not a big deal...

ASR: What's going on?

Khushi: Nothing.

 

Tring Tring Tring

 

Pretty irritated by now, she threw the phone inside her bag...

 

Khushi: Oh there is the damn medicine, let me get it first...

While she shoveled in that avalanche of a bag, her speaker went on...

 

Before she could say anything...

They both heard the other end...

Loud and clear...

 

Khushi, are you okay? I haven't had a chance to call you since you left yesterday...why did you leave so early? Everyone was worried...you didn't even stay for the performance...are you alright? You are coming tonight, right? Should I send someone to pick you up? Khushi?

 

She shuffled again in that crammed bag to locate her phone, to stop the voice...

 

Khushi: I will call you back Priya. I can't talk right now. Bye.

 

He had heard whatever he needed to hear by now. He realized what was going on. She was so upset that she didn't even attend the function. Then why did she ask him to drop her off there? Why didn't she ask him to drop her home? Why was she rushing to leave?

 

Because of him.

 

Her soft voice broke his thoughts...

 

 

Khushi: I have to go to the wedding.

ASR: Whose wedding?

Khushi: Our wedding.

ASR: What?

Khushi: Yes, our wedding. We are getting married today. Remember?

ASR: What?

 

She noticed his seriously confused face and she replied in irritation.

 

Khushi: What's wrong with you? Priya's sister's wedding. Her wedding. You are invited too. Remember? You came to the Mehndi. Remember? She just called.

ASR: Oh...yes. Sorry...I just...thought...

Khushi: Thought what? That it was our wedding?

 

And she giggled.

 

The wind played with her hair like guitar strings...

Moving in harmony...

Complimenting her smile...

Or her giggle...

 

ASR: Fine. I forgot. Sorry.

Khushi: I figured...

ASR: When do you have to go?

Khushi: Later...

ASR: Listen, Gloomy, I will eat. And I will also take your medicine. You should go. You will be late.

Khushi: No. I won't be late.

ASR: Let's go, I will drop you.

Khushi: Like you did yesterday?

 

An unexplained painful silence filled the air around them.

While they just stared at each other...

 

Asking.

Replying.

Quietly.

Unspoken justifications.

 

Part M continues...

 

Part N

 

He had seen her sad before, several times...

Usually for her family...

Her mother...

Her father...

 

She had cried for them...

Many times before...

 

But this was something else.

Something different.

Something unusual.

 

She looked different. She seemed different.

Breaking inside, but trying to hold her externally.

 

But why? Why from him? She had always shared her grief with him...

Why not today? Why not now?

 

He waited for a while, then asked...

ASR: Are you...

 

He stopped.

Hesitated...

He wasn't sure if he should ask her that...

He continued talking...

But asking her something else...

 

ASR: Are you getting late for the wedding?

Khushi: Why? You want me to leave?

ASR: No, but I don't you to be late...

Khushi: Are you telling me to leave?

ASR: No, I just thought if you have to...

 

She looked away and said...

Khushi: Fine. I will leave.

 

 

ASR: I am not asking you to leave...

Khushi: I am getting late...

ASR: Are you still upset?

Khushi: No...

ASR: Still mad at me?

Khushi: No...

ASR: Because of yesterday?

Khushi: No...

 

.

 

Her no accompanied by a tear...

It was apparent what her no meant...

Clearly, yes.

 

Her eyes continued drenching...

And there it was. All out on her face.

 

Dripping eyes...

Wet face...

Shaky body...

 

But why?

 

He just looked at her trembling self.

Breaking in front of him.

Second after second.

 

She interrupted...

Almost in a whisper...

 

Khushi: And I thought you said you will never leave me...like everyone else...?

 

Was she questioning him?

Accusing him?

Or something else?

 

Yes, that's what he had told her once...

On that rainy night...

 

He did remember it...

Clearly.

 

Her words were full of agony...

 

Pain.

Hurt.

Tears.

 

She looked frail.

Disheveled.

Confused.

Chaotic.

 

 

The only sound in the air was her sniffling...

The only sight was her breaking...

Silently...

 

Because of him?

That didn't matter anymore...

 

 

He tried holding himself back...

He tried to keep distance...

 

But he refused to...

He moved closer...

 

Just inches away...

 

And pulled her to him...

In an embrace...

 

Tight.

Close.

 

She was so close to him...

 

She felt so fragile...

 

Like a porcelain doll.

Delicate.

 

He had a sudden feeling of protecting her...

From everyone.

 

Even from herself...

Her grief.

 

His embrace got tighter...

 

 

His fingers tangled in her hair...

His lips roamed near her ear...

 

And he whispered...

 

ASR: Shhh...

 

That's all he said and he held her there...

 

Close to him...

Within his arms...

 

Shielding her.

From all her pain.

All her tears.

All her sorrow...

Part O continues...

Part O

 

She was so close to him...

He could hear her heart beat...

 

Drumming...

Rhythmic...

 

Just like her voice...

When she sang...

 

He remembered the time when she asked him not to tell anyone about her singing...

And he didn't.

He wouldn't.

 

He would never do anything to hurt her.

That's how it was.

Always.

 

And then he asked himself why...

The same question she had always asked him...

 

 

How was it possible that she could control his feelings so much...

 

If she was upset, he was upset.

If she was happy, he was happy.

 

He could never see her sad...

Never in tears...

 

Since yesterday, he wasn't feeling well, because she was upset.

And now, everything felt right, because she was there to see him.

 

How his feelings didn't matter anymore.

What mattered was - her.

 

Only her.

This one girl, who was now within his arms.

So close, so real, so right.

 

This girl.

 

Who controlled his thoughts so much.

Who controlled his feelings so much.

Who controlled his actions so much.

 

He wanted to keep her there, in his arms...

Not knowing why...

 

But that felt right.

Her so close to him.

 

He didn't know when all this happened...

Her taking over his personal territory...

 

But it had happened.

 

She was there.

Reigning his mind.

His heart?

 

And he wasn't alarmed anymore.

He wasn't terrified with this awareness anymore.

He wasn't worried about releasing his long protected guards.

 

For her.

For Gloomy.

For this girl.

 

 

The girl who made him smile...

The girl who made him feel...

The girl who made him want...

 

The girl who made him...Him.

 

The girl who changed him.

For the better.

 

This girl.

Gloomy.

 

 

He held her closer, closed his eyes and couldn't help but think...

 

Is she the girl?

Maybe. What? No.

 

She couldn't be.

It wasn't possible.

 

Why not?

It could be possible.

 

No.

 

He couldn't...

He wouldn't...

 

NO.

Yes.

 

Yes?

YES.

 

Who was he fooling?

 

He had avoided it too long.

Refrained himself from getting close to her.

 

This close.

 

He didn't want to do it anymore.

He couldn't do it anymore...

 

He didn't want to run anymore...

No.

 

From his feelings...

From whatever that feeling was...

 

He wanted to welcome these new emotions...

 

He would.

He could.

 

He should.

Yes, he should.

 

He will.

 

As he realized...

Or admitted...

 

Seizing that moment...

 

 

Finally.

 

 

While holding her...

He smiled...

 

 

 

Yes, she was the girl...

 

 

 

 

 

Muskuraaye toh...Muskuraane Ke... Karz Utaarne Honge
Muskuraauun Kabhii...Toh Lagta Hai

Jaise Honthon Pe Karz Rakhaa Hai...

 

 

 

To be continued...

 

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