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A tale of two relationships (Page 2)

opsyellow IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:23pm | IP Logged
I really have a great respect for those people who agree to have arranged marriage. Its really hard to believe how someone can say yes to a relationship where future can take any turn, but again is there any relationship with 100% of security?
 
But I have to chose between Paro' & Varun or Rudra and Laila, I will chose Rudra's and Laila's because there you know what future holds

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serialjunkie IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
very apt parallel analogy , NB sa

on to serious wala fart.

Marriage is a gamble - period. 
Arranged or love - it doesn't matter. Happiness is not a guarantee in either case nor is one better than the other. 

How many times we hear of couples who live in a relationship for years, get married and the marriage crumbles faster than the melting snow caps

How many times we hear of couples who got in an arranged marriage and fell head over heels in love afterward.

The truth is, living with another person, sharing the rest of your life with them, sharing your deepest hopes fears dreams and a future is a big stakes game and you hope the other person is just as invested in the relationship as you are. 

Marriage changes the level of commitment even for relationships that have been lived-in for years. There is a certain accountability and permanence that can change the basic dynamics of that relationship. The best of lived-in relationships can crumble under the pressure. 

Marriage is not for everyone, and everyone should not embark on it unless you are sure of making it work. Its better to be in a live-in and be happy than marry and make a muck of it for all. Ok, these are not conventional views nor are they acceptable in most societies - so its not practical or in many cases advisable to tell people to seek love first. 

I don't think we can declare with finality one form is better than the other, because happiness comes in many shapes and forms and what makes me happy may make others miserable. very subjective.


Edited by serialjunkie - 07 January 2014 at 1:36pm

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yoga123 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
Well said......one of my friend used to say that arranged marriage is a gamble, if you are lucky you will get a good husband...I remembered her words while watching today's episode...felt very bad for Paro...she is so innocent, looking forward for a new phase of her life with lot of hope not knowing who the other person...Rudra-Laila are in a better place in their relationship...they know what they want from each other...

Edited by yoga123 - 07 January 2014 at 1:33pm

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princessunara IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
well Paro-Vishal union is short lived as it is.. anyway I have reason to believe that arranged marriages sometimes work better than love marriages, its just luck how any of them turns out...

But here when we do arranged marriages once the kundalis checking business is over u get to meet n decide if u r actually are compatible n date for a while n see (really date i mean).. then only take the plunge.. (lol this is what i expect i will do too in the coming year or two.. so i am much more receptive to the ideaLOL)

in such rural villages as shown here though, its quite common as well as success rate is very high for arranged marriages over love marriages even when this extreme things happen..


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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:39pm | IP Logged
Whether it's an arranged marriage or a love marriage, the mistake a lot of people make is believing that it's some sort of Shahrukh Khan romantic film, where you just sing and dance all day long and the man sweeps you off your feet, quite literally.. 

Yes marriage is a beautiful thing, but people should be realistic, It can be romantic, but nothing is always perfect, I mean does someone really just want to stare into another persons eyes for 10 minutes?LOL

These days I feel like more love marriages fall apart than arranged marriages, at least that's the case in the West sadly. 


Edited by butterfly15.. - 07 January 2014 at 1:36pm

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showviewer IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialjunkie

very apt parallel analogy , NB sa

on to serious wala fart.

Marriage is a gamble - period. 
Arranged or love - it doesn't matter. Happiness is not a guarantee in either case nor is one better than the other. 

How many times we hear of couples who live in a relationship for years, get married and the marriage crumbles faster than the melting snow caps

How many times we hear of couples who got in an arranged marriage and fell head over heels in love afterward.

The truth is, living with another person, sharing the rest of your life with them, sharing your deepest hopes fears dreams and a future is a big stakes game and you hope the other person is just as invested in the relationship as you are. 

Marriage changes the level of commitment even for relationships that have been lived-in for years. There is a certain accountability and permanence that can change the basic dynamics of that relationship. The best of lived-in relationships can crumble under the pressure. 

Marriage is not for everyone, and everyone should not embark on it unless you are sure of making it work. Its better to be in a live-in and be happy than marry and make a muck of it for all. Ok, these are not conventional views nor are they acceptable in most societies - so its not practical or in many cases advisable to tell people to seek love first. 

I don't think we can declare with finality one form is better than the other, because happiness comes in many shapes and forms and what makes me happy may make others miserable. very subjective.

Very well put...especially the bold part.

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sonia_1 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
Interesting topic Smile
 Love or arranged, Marriage is a big gamble !
Here Rudra and Laila are at a slight advantage due to the level of understanding and comfort with each other whereas Paro is stepping into it completely inexperienced.


Edited by sonia_1 - 07 January 2014 at 3:15pm

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Kangto09 Groupbie
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 2:35pm | IP Logged
Very aptly put. Atleast. Rudra and Laila don't have any blinders on. Although Paro is just so sweet, I can't help wish the best for her.  Personally, I find marriages scary. I am definitely not having an arranged marriage and my parents know that and respect that choice. But, I'll turn 25 this year and each year the pressure from relatives gets stronger. Sheesh, I haven't found anyone and first priority is finishing school and finding a job. Then, I wil only think about finding someone. Plus, I don't trust people easily so um, yeah. Eww, Marriage. Dead

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