A tale of two relationships - Page 2

well Paro-Vishal union is short lived as it is.. anyway I have reason to believe that arranged marriages sometimes work better than love marriages, its just luck how any of them turns out...

But here when we do arranged marriages once the kundalis checking business is over u get to meet n decide if u r actually are compatible n date for a while n see (really date i mean).. then only take the plunge.. (lol this is what i expect i will do too in the coming year or two.. so i am much more receptive to the idea😆)

in such rural villages as shown here though, its quite common as well as success rate is very high for arranged marriages over love marriages even when this extreme things happen..

Whether it's an arranged marriage or a love marriage, the mistake a lot of people make is believing that it's some sort of Shahrukh Khan romantic film, where you just sing and dance all day long and the man sweeps you off your feet, quite literally.. Edited by butterfly15.. - 10 years ago

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

very apt parallel analogy , NB sa

on to serious wala fart.

Marriage is a gamble - period. 

Arranged or love - it doesn't matter. Happiness is not a guarantee in either case nor is one better than the other. 

How many times we hear of couples who live in a relationship for years, get married and the marriage crumbles faster than the melting snow caps

How many times we hear of couples who got in an arranged marriage and fell head over heels in love afterward.

The truth is, living with another person, sharing the rest of your life with them, sharing your deepest hopes fears dreams and a future is a big stakes game and you hope the other person is just as invested in the relationship as you are. 

Marriage changes the level of commitment even for relationships that have been lived-in for years. There is a certain accountability and permanence that can change the basic dynamics of that relationship. The best of lived-in relationships can crumble under the pressure. 

Marriage is not for everyone, and everyone should not embark on it unless you are sure of making it work. Its better to be in a live-in and be happy than marry and make a muck of it for all. Ok, these are not conventional views nor are they acceptable in most societies - so its not practical or in many cases advisable to tell people to seek love first. 

I don't think we can declare with finality one form is better than the other, because happiness comes in many shapes and forms and what makes me happy may make others miserable. very subjective.

Interesting topic 😊 Edited by sonia_1 - 10 years ago

Very aptly put. Atleast. Rudra and Laila don't have any blinders on. Although Paro is just so sweet, I can't help wish the best for her.  Personally, I find marriages scary. I am definitely not having an arranged marriage and my parents know that and respect that choice. But, I'll turn 25 this year and each year the pressure from relatives gets stronger. Sheesh, I haven't found anyone and first priority is finishing school and finding a job. Then, I wil only think about finding someone. Plus, I don't trust people easily so um, yeah. Eww, Marriage. 🤢

Well said 👍🏼 nicee post 😊

@ serialjankie totally agree with u , marriage is a gamble , wether it's love or arrange cuz no one can give u garenteed happy ending

Interesting take, NBji. Most of us women on the forum come from progressive backgrounds, are educated and capable of making decisions of such magnitude as career and marriage on our own. That is a luxury a simpleton like Paro cannot afford and she will not be allowed such freedom! 

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Of Paro & Varun, and their shared dreams of a future together and sweet child-like innocence.Of believing in the concept of falling in love, for hoping that this marriage will be forever.

Of Rudra & Laila, of fragrant nights, of shared beds & pillow, of the days after that they don't embrace together.

In normal circumstances, I should be more hopeful of the former & appreciate it more. But I cant.

Somehow at this stage I'm more comfortable with Rudra & Laila's relationship as a known enemy is far worse than an unknown friend. Somehow I just cannot get myself to believe in a relationship where the 2 adults know nothing of each other and yet decide to share the rest of their lives together.

But I understand this is the fate of so many young girls back home. I hope their child like belief in such marriages is upheld and their husbands give them the love & respect they deserve.

Originally posted by: princessunara

well Paro-Vishal union is short lived as it is.. anyway I have reason to believe that arranged marriages sometimes work better than love marriages, its just luck how any of them turns out...

But here when we do arranged marriages once the kundalis checking business is over u get to meet n decide if u r actually are compatible n date for a while n see (really date i mean).. then only take the plunge.. (lol this is what i expect i will do too in the coming year or two.. so i am much more receptive to the idea😆)

in such rural villages as shown here though, its quite common as well as success rate is very high for arranged marriages over love marriages even when this extreme things happen..

I can see the benefits in both a love marriage or arranged marriage, but for me, an arranged marriage has to have something like this, where you have a year or two (or more, but does that happen in arranged marriages?😆) where you simply get to know the other person and have an idea at least of who you're marrying. And you get to consent to it; it's not forced. If it's an arranged marriage where you've never seen the future spouse before or have never spoken to them before...I don't understand marriages of that kind.


In this story, I also prefer Rudra and Laila's relationship. I think it's because Rudra has already grown from his experiences. He's clear in what he wants, and hence I feel their relationship is more reality based.
Edited by Storybrooke - 10 years ago